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Proof That The Writer Doesn't Care How The Character Feels MAG

April 19, 2010
By Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
More by this author
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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He's nervous,
he has second thoughts.
The doctor says he has
nothing to worry about.
Which means he has
everything to worry about.
He starts trembling and shaking,
Which is the last thing they need
Because blood doesn't clean easily.
The doctor says,
“The drugs should kick in soon,”
Which means the drugs
will never kick in.
He starts thinking
about all the bad he's done.
He feels guilty, really guilty.
He starts to pray, but he's too nervous to finish.

The drugs still haven't kicked in yet,

But fear has,
and now he's petrified.
He wants his mommy.
His wife asked
if she could sit with him.
His boys asked also,
but he refused.
He really wants his mommy.
The doctor grabs his tool and starts working.
Now he's terrified.
He starts squirming.

The drugs still haven't kicked in yet.

“Narrator, do something,” he says.
So I say, “Doctor, Please,
I don't think that arm goes in there.”

© Haley L., Anchorage, AK

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 72 comments.

Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 20 2010 at 2:54 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
fustration? elaborate or explanate me captain.....
DreamWriter17 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 7:20 pm
DreamWriter17 PLATINUM, Marengo, Indiana
34 articles 1 photo 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
learn from your past to live for the future.

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Proof that the reader really cares about the character....everything you write has some form of frustration in it, but it's like a relieved form of frustration, and I like it.
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on May. 14 2010 at 10:17 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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i'm gonna read some of your stuff-captainze me, captain.
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on May. 14 2010 at 10:16 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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i dont have a cruel sense of humor. i just think the line"doctor i dont think that arm goes in there" is hilarious. thats where the whole poem came from. i just added in the (suggested) torture to make the poem. THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK!!!
mysterywriter11 GOLD said...
on May. 14 2010 at 9:32 am
mysterywriter11 GOLD, Dickson, Tennessee
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Reach for the moon, even if you miss, you&#039;ll land among the stars. &hearts; ♫♪♫♪♫♪<br /> &quot;believe in your dreams, no matter how small or big they are, you might just be surprised... &quot;

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This is good, i like but then again i have a cruel sense of humor too ;O
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on May. 11 2010 at 6:10 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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thank you for not thinking i went off the deep end when I wrote this(I still cant get over that)-and merci for your input. Im grateful.
treegirl93 BRONZE said...
on May. 11 2010 at 6:04 pm
treegirl93 BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
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I found this humorous. I guess i have a dark sense of humor but it reminded me of all the books I've read whose characters were tortured or killed or put in the hospital for no particular reason. I found it funny because i too cause my charcters pain sometimes and i don't often stop the cause.
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on May. 11 2010 at 4:04 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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thank you so much for understanding this. now i know for sure i'm still with you guys:]
Kay4theRoses said...
on May. 11 2010 at 3:24 pm
Kay4theRoses, O&#39brien, Florida
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my favorite part was the over-all desperation and begging of the character not wanting to be operated on/tortured but the narrator wrote the most intresting senarreo and not the easiest. i think if the narraror had changed the ending, i would have missed the point.
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on May. 10 2010 at 7:00 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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yeah thanks. my sis has no idea what its about-basically i'm writing a peice about a character dying and my character has a problem with that. in the poem i write i put him throug torture and hes asking me to stop"narrarator write something else, I dont want to die". but i dont care. i'm the writer. i can write whatever I want.
ThatOneWritingGirl PLATINUM said...
on May. 10 2010 at 6:45 pm
ThatOneWritingGirl PLATINUM, Greenwood Village, Colorado
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I like this a lot. I like the end where it says, "Narrator do something," but after that was a tiny bit confusing. I was a little confused while reading it at some points, but hey, that's what poetry does right? Makes you think really hard about what you're reading, partly so you'll remember it and be haunted by it until you figure it out! :) Just kidding. To sum it all up, it's really good :).
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on May. 10 2010 at 5:02 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
if you read this sucker-please tell me what you think. and dont sugarcoat it. I know how to be a man-well not really cause i'm a woman but you know what I mean.