All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Carousel
When I was little
I would ride and ride
On a beautiful white horse
With tassels in his mane.
I was a queen,
Smiling at the
People below me,
Moving and giggling
To the sound of
Music.
The notes twirled,
Dancing with a
Happy smile
Audibly seen.
They sent me
Into a dreamland
That was pure…
Simplistic…
Real.
But it wasn’t.
It was just your
Quarters
Continuously feeding me
False dreams.
And when they stopped,
Fed me harsh
Realities.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 10 comments.
But it wasn't.
It was just your
Quarters
Continuously feeding me
False dreams.
And when they stopped,
My eyes focused
On the world surrounding me.
Spotting mistakes,
And misfortunes,
The little girls dreams faded,
Feeding me harsh
Realities.
Thank you for the feedback and then suggestion. I really love it when people tell me the critiques. I'm just curious to see what you have in mind for the fillers between those lines. I definitely can see what you mean about something being missing, but I'm wondering about your take.
I really liked this one, i understadn now what you were saying about some of my poetry. Yours has a better flow without all the commas i would have put.
The end of the last stanza;
"And when they stopped
Fed me harsh
Realities."
It just seems like something more is needed in between the lines..Like its just missing a little someting. Just take that into consideration.
7 articles 4 photos 24 comments