I tread water between a shallow tide pool
And the blue abyss of the ocean.
Either I am in too deep, and the abyss consumes me
Leaving me numb, powerless
Or I lie on the jagged rocks of the shallow pool
And I am left feeling raw and bare, exposed.
It is impossible to find peace when the oceans waves toss me back and forth
From suffocated to empty
Always helpless
Fighting the waves only enrages the current
Tossing me farther under the waters.
I am surrounded by the density of the ocean
It’s weight compresses upon me
Forcing my lungs to give out their last supply of oxygen
I pray that my struggle has finally come to an end
It would be easier to accept death than continue this suffering.
But as soon as my eyes close and the serenity of death sets in
I am ripped away by the violent waves
Tossed again upon the rocks of the shallow waters
I feel the rocks pierce my skin and the salt of the ocean burn in my wounds.
I sputter and gasp for air
My lungs burn, coated with salt
My eyes are swollen half shut
All I can make out is the bright red blood that pours from a gash in my side.
The pain I feel is the only reassurance that my heart is still beating
I feel neither the pulse nor warmth of life
This must be how death feels
Slow and painful.
I lie motionless, neither
The throbbing pain in my side, nor the burn in my heaving chest
Are enough to compel me to save myself
This is where my life will end
I will wash away with the tide never to be recovered
My existence will cease
No one will look for me,
I will be forgotten.
Death is cold. A shiver runs down my spine each time the tide washes over me,
And I grow colder and weaker
Then suddenly,
Warmth.
An embrace of heat surrounds my mangled body
I will not open my eyes to see the source of warmth
For fear that I will be staring into the face of death
And when I feel my limp body being effortlessly lifted from the water
I am sure death has finally come for me,
But I am wrong.
I have found a different kind of heaven.
My mind fades away from thoughts of death,
a calming voice brings me back to consciousness.
I force my eyes open, and look up into the shining blue eyes of my guardian angel.
Finally, I am saved.