Sick of people coming in my life and not staying there.
Sick of always being “just friends” with every guy.
Sick of coming home with a weighted relief of sigh.
Sick of putting effort into things and never getting acknowledged.
Sick of ALWAYS being the first one to apologize when I did nothing wrong.
Sick of inevitable change,
And the way my life sooner or later becomes rearranged.
Why am I complaining?
Because these things I cannot change,
These things I cannot influence or adjust.
The way I befriend many people,
Only for them to betray my trust.
These things I cannot alter or transform,
For my life has been planned out since the day that I was born.
Yes, every moment, and broken heart.
Every mental breakdown that has torn me apart.
All those good things as well,
And all those stories that I always seem to tell.
I feel myself wanting to make amends,
Because I don’t like so far how my story might end
I try so hard in everything I do,
But I never try for myself, and that’s a problem too.
I know who I am.
I know what I want.
But it’s not that easy.
Desires cannot be bought.
With respect and with demand.
With grace and with compassion.
With love and with loyalty.
With trust and with honesty.
My future is predestined.
But that does not mean I cannot make a few alterations.
I think about it every single waking occasion.
Life is a privilege.
And it comes with the worthy and the merciless
Desires are something that you earn.
And one day when it is unexpected,
My desires will finally have their turn.