I want the puppy love

The kind of love where we freak out even if we hug.

The kind of love where we already see our futures as together

Because I already see it, the stable love—

The house with the two-story floors

With the children playing on the lawn.

One a boy, with the same name as my father

The other, a girl, she will have the name that I picked out as a child.

And both will have their last hyphenated between yours and mine

And you will hold me in your arms, and whisper in my ear

‘This is the life’ 

The very same one that we dreamed about all those years ago.

Because I want the love like the movies—

Where you kiss me the same way Jimmy Stewart would,

When you grab onto my shoulders, pulling me in tight, that somehow makes my head turn back

To make me look like a turtle,

Though the most unflattering position

It looks like the kiss has passion

And I want that passion

I want that passion for the whole world to see. 

But I don’t get that love,

I get the hidden love

I get the secret love.

The kinda of love when the eyes are on us,

You can’t help but loosen your grip of my hand in yours,

Till it slowly separates

For us to get the title—

We were the roommates

We were the best friends

We were the oddly close friends.

The kinda of love where you have to run away to stay next to me.

The kinda of love where your parents wouldn’t walk you down the aisle because you know they would disapprove of me,

The child that turned their perfect daughter into a Q-U-E-E-R.

But why does that matter

We are one out of the hundreds,

One out of the thousands,

One out of the millions,

One out of the billions,

So why is it only in the dark

When no one can see 

We can stay close to me,

where

Fingers graze

Fingers touch

Fingers interlock

Fingers hold hands

Hands hold hands.

Within the dark

No one will see

No one will know

And that solitude between only you and I

I get the love that I want.

But when I look into your eyes, I can’t help but imagine our future,

Because I already see it—

The white house with the two-story floors

The one that we adore,

With the children playing on the lawn

One a boy, he will have the same name as my father the one that has been passed down for three generations somehow stopping at my sister,

The other will be a girl, she will have the name that I picked out as a child but instead go by another that ends with a y always getting misspelled with an ie.

Both with a last name hyphenated to be yours and mine.

Where you look around and smile at the home that we didn’t have to run away to create

And you kiss me the same way like Jimmy Stewart would

With the same passion that I always wished for.

Holding me in your arms as you whisper in my ear

‘This is the life’ 

The one we aren’t able to have.

Cause It's only in my dreams that I get the puppy love, the stable love, the love like the movies,

But I don’t care about that love.

I just want you to love me

I want you to love me like good memory

As we live for what we believe is eternity.

And when I pass

I want you to look at the grave

With the scratches and carves into the stone that spells out my name

With the last as only mine 

Because I want you to look, I want you to think I was worth it,

I was worth every second

I was worth every minute

I was worth every hour

I was worth every day

I was worth every week

I was worth every month

I was worth every year

I was worth all those years.

Because all I want is your love

I don’t need no variation

Cause in the end 

You are mine

I am yours

And thats the love I want