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Losing Game
Every time we meet, we play Rock, Paper, Scissors
I always choose paper
We never talk for long, but you stick to me like glue
You follow me around like a ghost
You haunt me
I hate the looks strangers give me when they see you with me
I hate you but I can’t stay away
You hurt me but I can’t live without you
I’m trying to leave you in the past, but you keep coming back
Like the memory of a nightmare I long to forget
Sometimes I joke about you
Try to lighten the mood when you're there
No one ever laughs
They don’t even crack a smile
They just stare at you, with blank, disgusted faces
I cried the first time we met
Your words driving through my heart like a sword
Now I listen to you expressionless
Your sharp words leaving nothing more than a sting
I used to hide you away, pretend I didn’t know you
Some things never change
People push me away when they find out we talk
I don’t think I’ll ever know why
I long to live my life free of your words
Words that rip my body apart bit by bit
I will see that precious day
A day when I never have to talk to you again
It’s been years, but I always give into you
Again and again we play our same old game
And I can never win against you
You, who always chooses scissors
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This was written about my struggles with depression. It was also accepted into my school’s annual literary magazine.