My brain is an endless pool. 

i can feel the waves and splashes with every breath. 

The waves are getting bigger. 

Stronger. 

They overflow the pool. 

The waves come to life in my tears. 

In my words. 

There is always a different reason for the waves. 

It feels as if i’m sitting on the edge of the endless pool watching the small waves and pushing them away. 

The larger waves suck me in. 

Drown me. 

i’m stuck in the endless pool. 

Like a little kid who is learning to swim. 

There are always people at the edge willing to help but i want to learn. 

i don't want help. 

As soon as i get back to the edge a larger wave hits me. 

Why do the waves affect me more than the people on the edge? 

i’m in the pool again. 

i always sit on the edge and expect the waves to stop. 

i wait for the water to come to a standstill. 

It doesn’t. 

i’m not sure if i should learn to swim or let the endless pool suck me in.