TW//Purging, Eating Disorders

The girl was pale as she smiled downward.

Staring down at the rainbow and sparkle engulfed liquid.

She was proud, proud because of the mess of colors she made.

Her insides were splayed in the sink.

Staring up at her with a complacent grin.

The need to repeat it again, the liquid from her insides.

She refused to answer those who wore concern.

She only answered to those who praised.

Because concern planted a bigger wound than praise.

Her actions felt like lying, it felt like she was lying.

Lying to those who stared at her like a museum artifact. 

That’s why she sat alone staring at the smirking lunch tray.

Her hands were tied to rusty, oldened chains.

Keeping her away from ever savoring taste.

The only taste she’ll ever savor is rainbows and sparkles.

The fame intruded her vision.

But she couldn’t help feeling weaker.

Weaker to the point she could rarely stand alone

But that’s what she’d been doing standing alone.

Alone with the help of no one she was drowning.

Drowning in those judging, or awe-filled eyes.

She’s not happy, she will act like she is because that’s what people want.

They want her to act like she isn’t in pain, isn’t nearly dead.

Isn’t suffocating due to the romanticization of her agony.

Though really, she just wants to be able to do what she wants.

Wants to be able to eat whatever she feels like she wants.

Without feeling like she’s deceiving everyone including herself.