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The Remains of an Airman
He says it's who he is
Something he has to do
So I bite my tongue, pierce my lips, and bink hard
trying to keep the pain concealed,
the same pain I’ve been forced to feel for the past few months as you alternate, contemplate, what you call communicate, as I sit there and take the beatings of your words, like bullets to the heart, ripping me apart, shredding my insides until it is just blood, that drains down my body, pooling in my limbs until cold feet really means cold feet.
Cause no matter what you tell me
That you’ve made up your mind,
The next day you come back with new ideas that you find,
But speaking my mind is like getting stuck in crossfire,
Like stepping on a landmine, or leaving a soldier behind
And once more I pretend to be okay as you describe all the ways you can possibly make me disappear.
But you don't see it that way.
You see opportunity, finding your path
But all I hear are all ways you can make me your past
But even through my tears, my eyes a blur
I can still see the strength in the man I fell in love with
The man with a heart so pure
So choose your future, is it me or the force
But stop keeping me on the tips of my toes because they are getting tired and they are going to give out.
And depending on your choice you may be there when I fall
Unless you’re not
Like our future we planned together means nothing at all
But if you do make the choice
The choice to go
There's just one thing I have been meaning to say
That though there's much anger and frustration through all of our fights
The scrapes on my skin from begging on my knees
I am so proud of you
Because it takes a strong man to sacrifice
Six years apart from your family, from real life,
You’re entering a world of pain and stress
But you're entering a world of honor and respect
So no matter what happens
I’ll love you forever and ever
You’re my best friend, you’re my hero
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This poem is about my best friend choosing between a future with me and joining the airforce.