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Dear Mom,
Dear Mom,
What I really wanted to say is, I have forgotten how to
giggling smiling, make up dances just for you
use my whole hand to grasp onto just your pinky finger
hang onto your words like they're the edge of a cliff
to listen, listen, listen
I'm not sure why but it seems as if I can't
willingly give you my ears anymore
hand you my half of the clementine
my sunshine
What I really want to say is, I have forgotten that
you are me And I am you
you gave me my cheetah tongue
unapologetically loud mind
blonde strands
pores and toes
we both talk in capital letters
and expect the entire world to be at our command
What I really want to say is, Mom, I am so exhausted
Exasperated
I'm dying to put down my weapons but
I don't even know where they came from
or why I ever decided to use them
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I am so sorry
I love you and
I want to find the brightest can of paint
and splash it all over my life
to create new colors
Just like you did.
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A love letter to my Mom.