Do you remember when we first met?

It was before you even knew my name

I heard yours, in a story of life-shifting heartbreak

A whole future lost, he said.

And I pictured your face

Under a million anxious lightbulbs

And I saw you frown, and turn into the night

I pictured myself invisible,

Silently screaming, "Why?"

And when the lightbulbs grew too bright

I would retreat to that secret darkness

That secondhand sorrow

I sat beside you in the yard

Of a house I'll never see again
At a party that never happened

So loud it drove me to tears

And as I breathed night air,
I met your eyes and whispered, "Why?"

I filled up pages writing to you,

Cursing you, praying to you,
Begging you, denouncing you,

"Why? Why? Why?"

Until the words grayed the pages,

And blinked out like single stars 

Swallowed by infinity

I stood under those lightbulb shells

Not seeing, but hearing you -

"You know why."