i try to find you in
everything, the softest caress
of wind on a fiery day
feels just like your fingertips against my
cheeks and the thunderstorms that
i know you love but scare me half to
death become comfortable, silver
lined reminders of you

the way your canines
jut out like like rolling
mountains over landscapes
terraforming and breaking and
bridging worlds, i know i love you
because i would be fine if
they sank into me as the seas rise
and my chest falls, i am fine
juxtaposing the terrain if
only to see you smile and
bare your teeth

i look for you in thrift store
racks, pre loved but
loved again, i see you in
80s dad sweaters and itchy
thick wool so heavy it suffocates
me comfortably but to die surrounded
by you would be an easy death,
your soul is interwoven into the fabric
and stitched into me again and
again and

i replay the tapes in my head,
black and white photos where
you’d kill the lights, kill the scene in a
silver screen,
the way your eyes are
brighter than a camera flash,
in the way that i look into them
and see my reflection staring back at me,
in the way that you remind me it is
okay to be human and exist only
in a moment, in a picture, in a screen,
in another person

i find you in my arms, in my
bed, in my sheets, i find you
intertwined with my limbs and
my thoughts and my ideas when
you become all of them,
i find you because i
have you and rediscovering your
existence kindles mine