There's a girl I know. A very odd one. She has a lot bottled inside with no way to let it out. Trapped inside her own mind. She loved me but not for me but for the escape I could give her. There's a girl I know. She's headstrong and very firm and stubborn. She almost hated me. Yet I loved her more. There's a girl I know. She helped me through every hard time I had during my first year at this new place. She loved me but not the way the first did. No, instead I was her best friend and I felt the same but as my love faded for the first She cried as she cut ties to me. She called me every nasty thing meaning not a word she spoke. At least that's what I hope. There's a girl I know. Headstrong and stubborn she cared for me but began slowly to love me as her friend. Only after I had messed things up once but even then she accepted me again as her friend, i didn't deserve it. There's a girl I know that always told me to keep writing and never give up my dream. She was my sister when I was not with my real sisters. There's a girl I know who cried with me when I had no tears of my own. She felt for me when I was emotionless. She loved me despite my coldness. There's a girl I know who inspired me to chase music. With her kind words and mere shock at my voice. There's a girl I know who hated me worse than the second. But she became a closer friend than I believe the second ever will. A girl who simply was the help I needed in a time where I couldn't see the purpose of what I was doing. There's a girl I know that took pages of my notebook and burned them. Not because of spite but because of the hurt it would bring me. There's a girl I know who used to love my best friend. He says he was happy then because he was younger but I don't believe it. And I hope she doesn't either. I hope she feels something is still there. I want to ask her why she stopped loving him even though she said those words to him. Because when she tried to take those words back. She took my best friend with her. I want him back but his real happiness is gone. There's a girl I know… who killed me. I haven't been the same since she broke my heart. I finally thought I had gotten over the second girl with this girl but instead she betrayed me. Just like my best friend I lost myself. And I still don't think I've found myself. The people I want to care about me don't. And the people that do I've had to learn to let in. I shut my doors. I shut my curtains and boarded up my door. I laid on the floor. Ears ringing and suddenly… oh so suddenly.. There's a girl I know. But not yet… a girl that motivates me to keep going on. To not lock the doors. A girl I care about more than my dreams. A girl I will watch grow. A girl I will shelter. A girl I will love unconditionally. A girl who won't leave me. A girl I refuse to let go of. A girl I will inevitably have to let go of. So I will cling to her in my dreams. In the days before I meet her. And when I do I will never rest and I will hold her in my arms to cherish every moment I have with this enigma, this beauty, this painting, this girl… that I will know I will love, that I will not have to learn how to love, that I will just love. Unconditionally. I love you even though you are only in my dreams. I love you to the end of my days and I know that on that day I meet you I will find myself. In the beating of your tiny heart. As my rhythm matches yours. I cannot describe why I love you already. But I can say that nothing compares. I will teach you more about these girls one day. That have made such profound impacts on my life. Good and bad. So that you might become a girl unlike any other. Of strong mind and caring heart. Of stubbornness and of great empathy. Of discernment and of trust. Of wisdom and innocence. To be as cunning as a snake and innocent as a dove. I hope you will love me as I love you. But I know you won't understand right away. At least not until you find the same love that I have for you. I hope the real me is keeping you company in my dreams. I'm rather jealous of him. But either way sleep well my dear. I await the day you awake. Madeline the girl I can't wait to know.