I craved for your attention you never really gave. 

So I went to others for it. 

I wished for yours so I tried to do the things you did with my brother,

but it never worked.

I tried to go shooting with you. 

I tried to go driving in the truck with you, but mom never let me.

Because it was a you and my brother thing.

You used to say you were willing to help with my math but now you just sit and wait to help. 

So I stopped waiting and did it myself. 

I went and found the attention I craved from others. 

Attention I got through the phone over text or snaps. 

But now I don't feel reassured if left on open or delivered for a long period of time. 

Scared they’d leave me behind as you did. 

I can't figure out why I feel the need to want you so much. 

You weren't there when I fractured my wrist. 

You weren't there in a rush when I fractured my foot in the school gymnasium .

You weren't there for my games when they weren't for school. 

And if you were, you show up for ten minutes just to go back and lay on the couch. 

You do nothing but complain and blame everything on everyone else. 

You make me so mad to where I wish you weren't there.

I wish you weren't there so some of my problems went away. 

But I can't, I can't hate you. 

Because you're my dad.