i sit there,

in my car with you beside me,

the radio on high.

knowing it’s never about what is playing, 

following the beat helps me not to fall into

the trap. where i believe it,

when you say,

i love you. 

or that the compliments you give me 

are genuine. 

yet your existence is nothing but a 

facade. 

you seem more appealing when

your chocolate brown eyes 

shimmer, you smile at me, and 

your warm hand brushes against 

my inner thigh. i thought, 

i loved you. 

i thought,

i missed you.

i thought, 

i needed you. 

you left for months at a time

often contemplating whether i was enough, 

leisurely returning, 

expecting I would be there, 

but this time i wasn’t.

i surprised you,

returning the bullsh*t i received.

my life revolved around you, 

like the way the planets 

circle the sun. you were my everything, 

but I realized,

i was just your something. 

I want a forever with someone. 

But no longer with you. 

I sit there, 

In my car alone.