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I Am Healing
I bloom through dirt
with an uneven stem,
and a heart that
breaks instead of beats;
the light catches in a way
that illuminates them-
the fragmented petals
laying at my feet.
my body’s a church
filled with unholy deities
chatting amongst themselves
at sunday mass;
my body possesses
an unholy beauty,
louder than bombs
greener than grass.
my mind aches from housing
all my bad thoughts
and the weight of
all my bad days;
but then you tell me
you’re also lost,
and suddenly I am
not as afraid.
birds still sing of
love and loss,
I still weep of
guilt and shame;
but time does not
stop to appease us,
and art still exists
with no name.
the glow of the moon
cannot tell my secrets
when the only secret
I keep is you;
the thump of my heart
bursts free through cleavage
until everything I am
seeps through.
dreams remain dreams,
thread remains thread,
the tie of the knot
won’t be loosened;
it tethers me there
to a world in my head,
where love exists
and is proven.
every day that I breathe
is another survived,
i’m learning to love
my own name;
with solace comes crashing,
earth-shattering tides
and a peace that appears
just the same.
I wrote this poem after listening to Louder Than Bombs by The Smiths. I thought about how much I am healing as I prepare to go away to college, and how much I've grown since freshman year.