Explaining My Emotional Distress to My Mom

Mom, my emotional distress is a surprise party

You never see it coming.

One day I’ll be happy

The next I’ll be sad

Mom says,”You’re just a teenager going through emotional change.”

But, no, Mom, I need you to pull me out of this nightmare

I shouldn’t be over sleeping I shouldn’t be eating less and less

I hate feeling this way but there’s no way I can control it

I need you to be that one training wheel on a bike holding me so I won’t collapse.

Mom says, “ I don’t have time right now go talk to your dad”

That’s the thing, Mom, I can’t— I’m talking to you because I’m comfortable talking to you.

Dad just nods and gives me a hug

My emotional distress needs a hug not me

It’s crying out for attention, not me

Mom, are you listening to me?

Mom, I lost 10 pounds— that’s not normal

Mom says, “It’s because you skipped dinner last night, now leave me alone I’m busy.”

No you listen to me, I can’t bare to feel this way anymore, lack of energy slaps me in the face

I don’t want the bed sheets to hug me, I want you

I need you.

Mom finally says, “ Okay what can I do”

I just need you to understand

I need you to know and to help me get out

I feel trapped inside a body that’s not mine

My insecurities start yelling at me

Mom says “so now you’re insecure”

Yes mom the days I eat I feel as big as a room

And the days I don’t I feel like the atoms in the room

Don’t you understand?

Mom stares at me

and says, that’s all? I need to get back to work

ugh

I give up, I’m done, I’m just letting my emotional distress eat me up