All i see when i walk around are girls

Who are skinny, pretty,& healthy

When i go back home and look

In the mirror & i see myself

All i see is fat, ugliness, depression,

I go back to school happy and ready to start

& lose weight until i hear boys in the hallway

Rating girls 8 ,6.5, then i walk around the corner i hear 2.5

Says the boy then i hear another say & that's being nice

So i go back home look in the mirror and think ill never be good

Enough so where is my candy bar

Who cares that i'm fat or 239 pounds oh wait i do

I look in the mirror and give myself a pep talk

But after putting on my old favorite  dress then i turn around and

I see my back fat the i feel ashamed of my own body

And a put a sweater, vest, jaket just to cover up

I use makeup just to cover up my sadness

There are days where my own mother say wow that looks tight on you

 So i change put on leggings and a sweater thats too big

Just to look smaller

But it never works some way some hoe

You’ll be reminded that your fat

So you look up different ways on how to throw up just so you can make the next trend of hurtful things said to you hurt a little less but that won’t matter till you see that it’s vertical strips and you think to yourself damn I can’t get with that one so you wait till the next and the next but none of them work or make yourself feel good