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In and Out
i trace your jawline with my fingertips,
and think,
maybe i could love you,
god knows i want to,
i watch your eyes meet mine,
through lashes that flutter,
like smudged coal on your papery skin,
the silence holds,
your smile thins,
your lungs swell with air,
i try to match your breaths,
in and out,
and in and out,
the rhythm breaks,
your eyes turn away,
but i’m begging them to stay,
will you tell me goodbye?
what a lovely way to die,
i can’t help it, i think,
i’m watching every move,
i don’t want to miss a thing,
i can’t bring myself to blink,
i think i could love you,
god, i want to try,
your grip on my hand is hesitant,
there are indents in your lip where your have teeth sunk in,
it’s ugly, broken skin,
i don’t love you,
not yet,
but i’m in love with it,
green eyes meet mine,
one more time,
and i swear it,
loving you?
i want to try,
oh please,
let me try.
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Some of us really want to be in love.