She used to be big and happy and full of life. No one could convince her different, even her mirror.
Until her mother made a comment to her one day when she was 12 “You’re looking chubby.”
She looked into her mirror again and began to see a monster of who she thought she was.
Demons stared her in the eyes and begged and pleaded and screamed at her “don’t eat”
She knew she would have a hard time doing that so instead she took pills she found
Diet pills and laxatives from her mother’s medicine cabinet now became her meals
Breakfast lunch and dinner she’d try to avoid. She relapsed and ate dinner.
So after she finished her meal she’d swallow the pills she felt she needed.
Her idea was to wake up skinny even if it meant staying up all night.
She’d stay up all night on the toilet to be skinny the next day.
Slowly she was deteriorating from the happy girl she was.
For the next four years she’d battle her normal weight.
In hopes of absolute happiness, she began cutting.
Cutting away at the hate she buried into herself.
Now, three years later she’s covered in scars.
But still that demon screamed at her face.
“You’ll never be good enough. Just die.”
She tried to kill herself at only 15.
She just wants to love herself.
She failed to succeed. Crying.
And every day she’s in tears.
Tell her she’s special to you.
110 is not enough for her.
100 is still not enough.
90 isn’t even close.
80 pounds 5’3”
Finally happy.
She’s dying.
Only 15.