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Nothing is Helping
What’s going on?
I’m missing something, I know I am.
Too stressed to find out what I’m forgetting.
So many things exploding in my mind.
I can’t focus on one thing.
School,
Religious education,
Homework,
Tests,
Quizzes.
I can’t explain it.
I want to rip my hair out of my head.
I can’t steady the pace of my breathing,
My heart is pumping too fast.
My emotions are revealing themselves.
I want to take something in my bare hands and throw it at a wall.
Nothing is helping.
I go to sleep too late and wake up too early.
My classes bore me to sleep.
I can’t keep my head straight.
I’m beginning to fall apart.
When I thing something is going right, instantly, insanely it goes wrong.
I’m starting to forget where everything goes, where everything belongs.
My loving mother is trying to support me but that makes me even more stressed because it’s not falling into position.
My Saturday isn’t even relaxing.
I am always somewhere that makes me go back into my mind and ask myself, am I forgetting something?
It’s a nightmare.
Something so unbelievable.
Something so scary you will scream till there’s no breath left inside of you.
So frightening that your soul will want to leave your body for good.
Two phrases, six letters of pure agony...
my life.
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