Selfish

I wish not to say it but my mother was a selfish woman
She wanted to be an angel so badly that she was willing to do anything
Even suicide
However when she saw god
everyone that knew her cried
My mother saw god
His nose, his lips, his cloak
She saw the purl white gates
But I saw my mother laying helplessly
With no pulse no heart beat no life
I tossed and turned that Friday night she became selfish
My pillow got drenched in tears that had falling off my face
I knew that she would be the best angel up there
I was only a child when I learned what death and selfishness was
But that angel looks down on me everyday
And every day I think about her