Roadside Pantoum | Teen Ink

Roadside Pantoum

April 10, 2013
By nevermind123 BRONZE, Chalfont, Pennsylvania
nevermind123 BRONZE, Chalfont, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Do you remember when I proposed to you?
In the aquamarine glow of a motel pool,
On that warm night, I know you felt it too,
Still you played me for the fool.

In the aquamarine glow of a motel pool,
The dust of the road still clung to your hair,
Still you played me for the fool,
I thought my dreams could take me anywhere.

The dust of the road still clung to your hair,
While you woke and fled long before dawn,
I thought my dreams could take me anywhere,
But when I woke, you were gone.

While you woke and fled long before dawn,
I was asleep, lost in what I thought was real,
But when I woke, you were gone,
Honesty holds no appeal.

I was asleep, lost in what I thought was real,
On that warm night, I know you felt it too,
Honesty holds no appeal,
Do you remember when I proposed to you?


The author's comments:
I've always thought that the light cast off by a hotel pool by night, not a classy hotel, but like a roadside cheap dirty one, is one of the loneliest things in the world. SO this is a poem about a guy whose relationship falls apart by the light of one

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This article has 4 comments.


on Apr. 15 2013 at 7:44 pm
Alex_Mac BRONZE, Osler, Other
3 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Nothing is impossible, the word itself says &#039;I&#039;m possible&#039;!&rdquo; <br /> ― Audrey Hepburn

Good idea – the way you wrote it felt very lyrical. I also liked the repetition and the rhyming.

on Apr. 15 2013 at 6:35 pm
nevermind123 BRONZE, Chalfont, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Thanks! ill check it out

on Apr. 15 2013 at 6:06 pm
saracouturier SILVER, Sault Ste Marie, Other
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments
This is really good! I'm new on here and would appreciate it if you could check out my work, thanks if you do!!  

on Apr. 15 2013 at 3:53 pm
ChelseaS. SILVER, Lexington, Kentucky
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.&quot; -Carlos Fuentes

This is a really gorgeous piece of writing, keep up the great work!