Even though it's over, I still cry at night.
Sometimes it's so bad I cry myself to sleep,
Yet through the passing, I feel as if I'm alive
More alive than I could have ever imagined.

Sometimes things like this just happen to people.
Sometimes there is no controlling their own fate;
Sometimes you just need to accept the fact that they
Are gone and there is nothing you can do about it.

Now that she left, I think she brought out the human
Side of me. That's a part of me I never thought I'd see.
People think I'm some sort of robot that can control
Absolutely everything I say and do, but occasionally

There will be a time I can't control the things I do.
I will lose it in front of everyone. That is when I am
Human; that's when I let myself have emotions.
I am a human now, it feels, now that she's gone.

She took a part of me with her and that part of me,
I will never be able to get that piece back. All of this...
It's kind of like seeing the crazy man on the news,
who is standing on the top of a roof ready to jump off

Its edge. He has been pushed to a limit, he's ready to
Do something stupid, but it shows just how much of a
Human he really is. It proves he is a real person; not the
Robot people think others happen to be. He is probably

A business man. He was calm, he was a true professional.
He always knew exactly what to do and when to do it
Because that was a part of his job, being a business man;
He always had to know what to do. Always. And stuff like

That can eventually drive you mad. He is the Vice President
Of his trade market company and he has everything.
He has a beautifully built wife, and two wide-eyed children
Who always listens to their daddy because they love him.

I don't think they'd like to grow up knowing their own father
Jumped off the top of his own company's building just to
Get away from the scary things in life; they want a dad who
Will teach his son how to catch a baseball, how to be a man

Just like him and watch football games with him. And his little
Girl wants a dad who will be soft for her and play tea with her
And take care of her baby doll when she is out with her mom
At the park to play on the swings with her brother. His wife wants

A loving husband to hold her when she wakes up in the middle
Of the night because of a nightmare. She wants a man to cook
A meal for the family when she's been busy all day and wants to
Fall asleep on the couch watching her favorite soap opera.

His children, his wife, don't want a father and husband who will
Take his own life, who will jump to his death, who will control his
Own fate just to escape the pounding horror of losing his house
Because his company went broke. They don't want someone

Who is too scared to face the reality of life and put his game face
On to save his family and everything he loves. But I think that man,
I think he's me. That's how I feel now I don't have that person to look
Up to when I need a little support about that bad algebra grade on

My report card or that recent fight I had with my mom over
The boy I like. There's no one now to put an arm around my
Shoulder and say "Hey, it's okay. Things may seem bad now,
But things can only get better from here. I love you."

She's not here anymore to give me a hug when my dog dies
Or when I can't deal with some kid at school always picking on
Me. But even though she isn't here, I can still hear her. She's in
My ear telling me the things I need to hear to get me through the day.

She's in my heart, holding it together in her hands when it feels
Like it's breaking. She's always here with me even if I can't see her.
Even though I still cry, I can smell the scent of cigarettes she had on
Her clothes when she hugged me. Even when things seem bad

Now that I don't have her anymore, as bad as the man who jumps off
The roof, I know she's not totally gone. I'm only human; I'm going
To cry over her still, but only sometimes. I miss her, I miss her a lot,
But I'm no robot. She's here. I can feel her, smell her, hear her.
I don't think she ever really left.