Test taking tips the remix. | Teen Ink

Test taking tips the remix.

March 28, 2011
By CMW709 SILVER, Plaquemine, Louisiana
CMW709 SILVER, Plaquemine, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't have a cow, just eat the burger.


1. Always use a number 2 pencil because apparently a number 1 pencil wasn’t good enough to make the cut.
2. The longer you smoke and the higher you get means the higher your test score.
3. NO sex before the test. Sex is bad and should not be performed before any major test, I don’t care how good it feels.
4. I know its so hard to look at your neighbors over those tiny folders they gave us, but remember cheating is bad. If you get caught.
5. REMEMBER, no cell phones during the test because we’re just dying to text each other a 12-step answer.
6. Don’t forget to eat breakfast, so you can focus and remember what you learned in class even though you slept through the entire semester yes breakfast will definitely help.
7. Praying before every section of the test won’t help; Jesus can’t help you remember what you didn’t take the time out to learn. Just Sayin’
8. When writing your essay for the English section, don’t start off a sentence with the B word, T word, or the A word; and no I don’t mean b*tch, testicles or a*s. I mean “but” “then” and “and”. DUH
9. No iPods or Mp3 players during the test because the entire district knows Eminem and Lil Wayne are just waiting to rap you the answers.
10. Don’t stress, even when the Dean of your school tells you that every other school is trying to beat you. So no, that doesn’t add stress at all.
11. When you drink, you can’t think.
12. If you smoke the bong, your answers will be wrong.
13. If you don’t want your brain to be fried, don’t get high… Before the test… Nobody cares if you do it after.
14. Quote and explain, Go head and do your thang.
15. A good night’s rest helps you think the best. Remembrance has nothing to with it.
16. Don’t second guess, your 1st answer is always the best.


The author's comments:
This piece was a English class project where we had to use Satire to make fun of the GEE. For my part I decided to remix some of the testing taking tips and throw in a few of my own. My teacher liked it, so she told me to submit it to Teen Ink. This for anyone that may be facing a hard test coming up, joke about it, laugh about it and you'll do fine.

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