Sign the Contract

Sign your name on the dotted line
And with two small down-payments of $19.99
You too can be thinner, younger, tanner, faster
Smarter, stronger, with bushels of laughter
Bushels of laughter?
Yes bushels of laughter
You can have his or hers and this and that
In silver, navy, pink or black
Or perhaps a gorgeous shade of gold
Wait what’s the catch
I’ll be needing your soul
My what!
Did I stutter?
It’s surely a jest
Of course not my dear, just look at the rest
Half of those people aren’t real, they’re all just the same
Sold themselves to me, it’s like an amusing little game
Now, it’s once in a lifetime, I guarantee that
Now how will you be paying me, cash or check?
I know it’s a great deal, and great deal for sure
But I just don’t know, I’m a little insecure
Insecurity, that’s perfect, low self-esteem, stress?
I guess so
Aha! You’ll be just like the rest
All clones of each other, worried of their looks
I provide the easy answer, and I’ve got them hooked
Now what be your answer, time is running thin
It’ll take two to three weeks, to get your order in
I don’t know, I kind of like who I am
I have something they lack
My soul, individuality, what’s so wrong with that
Don’t try to make sense of this stuff
Just sign it or pack,
You need not to worry, it’s all in the contract
Please, I feel I must decline; I’d hate to be a regretter
But next time, my advice, hide your horns a little better.