Destruction of pain that continue to manifest itself



within me;
I do this, I do that, I get blamed of being me;
Which triggers more attractions between schooling, dancing, working, and even with my Belvin;
My love for him gets me quivering to a point I would allow him to take advantage of me;
He say this,I do this;
He say that,I do that even when he throws the truth in my face,I still manage to love him;
He is a part of me from day by day, night by night;
Even when I`m accused of something that makes me cry;
I don`t cry about the situation I am in,but I cry due to not having him with me;
I just cant continue this,
My feelings are slowly deteriorating;
Caring about others` problems and feelings,
I just express myself because I don`t want any harm done to any or everyone thats around me;
My life is enough to bear;
But to continue to bear my mind,heart and soul its starts to tear;
Some say I have the determination and potential to do anything;
But how can I find this when the world is out to get me;
Softly and hesitantly I begin to change;
I love my relationship,I love my school and I definitely love to dance;
But whose to tell me what I can do or what I should do in order to please themselves?
And whose to tell me how to be me?
The person inside is telling me to start believing within;
My dreams,My talents, My future;
I cant do this alone,but I cant do this when others trying to control MY life;
Now, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder............
Am I not an ordinary woman?
Or
Am I a Beautiful Independent Black Queen?