Will

the pain
and the numb
at the same time.

no control
even over own face
i can't stop hiding
its too hard
no matter how i try
the pain won't return to my face
its hard enough to feel it at all
but i WILL feel the pain
b/c i refuse to return to the numb

i begin to stop caring
for that which i have given so much
i will care, because that’s who I am
and i refuse to let this stupid world change me again
and the gray, which will never be black
anyway, i won't return to the gray,
and to my hole,
b/c i have so much outside it
no matter what they say
there is more to everything
to life, to love, to our very existence

i will feel this pain
because the alternative is so much worse
the alternative is the numb
and returning to where i have already been
and be rescued from
i will not go there again
because even if I’m not strong enough to resist it
He is.


~Ashley Walter
4/16/08

"This will certify that hte above work is completely original"