Google Street View | Teen Ink

Google Street View

May 19, 2024
By prishaashrimali GOLD, Edgewater, New Jersey
prishaashrimali GOLD, Edgewater, New Jersey
14 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Tears fill my dad’s eyes

As he taps the screen to move along the roads of Bikaner.

“That’s where my mother’s body lies.

That’s where she would recite a morning prayer.”


Pointing to the screen,

My dad tells me about his life in India, where he’s from:

The places he’s been,

The schools of which he’s an alum.


But there’s only so much Google Street View can do

When trying to connect me with what my family’s been through.

I haven’t seen the home of my grandparents —

A product of the pandemic’s occurrence.


I FaceTimed my dadi once,

Prior to her passing by a few months.

My father’s mother’s love poured out from the phone,

Even though I didn’t know Hindi and to her English wasn’t known.

 

But as the years pass

And so does my family,

I remember my dadi’s words, where were among her last:

“When you visit, we’ll rejoice happily!”


I’m reminded of plans unfinished and promises broken by death

Every time another family member draws their last breath.

I hold onto their old clothes and unfamiliar scent

As I reminisce on the time that time didn’t allow us to spend.


I’ve never tasted the roti of my aunt or her mother;

I keep telling myself, “Next summer,

The hands of my relatives I’ll hold.”

Hopefully it’s in my family’s story, soon to unfold.


The author's comments:

It's been 5 years since I've seen my grandmother, and I miss her more than words can describe. However, she is the only member of my family (other than my mom and dad) that I have ever met -- I make plans to visit my other family members, but the elder ones pass away just before plans are finalized. There's something especially unbearable about just missing an opportunity to create a meaningful memory, and that is something I have been dealing with my whole life. My nani (mother's mother) is the only grandparent I have left, and she is the last elder in my family. When writing this poem, I dug into my emotions and pulled out the regret and sadness I bear in my heart.

I was scheduled to visit India and meet my dadi (dad's mother) during the summer of 2020, but we had to cancel that plan due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Unfortunately, she passed away later that same year, and I've never felt more agony in my life than in the moment when my dad shared the news with me. I regretted that I hadn't visited her earlier in past years, and I still regret it to this day. Through my poem, I intend to convey the intense regret and guilt associated with the loss of a loved one that you've never had the chance to meet.


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