“True Love” those two words complete the happily ever after doomed ending that we all dream of, whether it’s openly or secretly. Those two words can make us throw caution to the wind or live every moment as a careful as possible. What does true love even mean? Between television and movies it’s hard to depict reality from a scripted fantasy. Some believe that there’s someone out there that’s waiting for you and others see true love as a once in a lifetime opportunity. You can fall in love as much as you want, but true love is fated as some say. So love can come and go, but one mistake and that means you’ve lost the only opportunity you have at pure happiness? It’s hard for me to grasp the full understanding that’s been recently handed to me. True love; I’m not sure whether to run towards it, or run away. I used to believe that God had a place for everyone a long with someone to share it with, but lately I’ve been questioning this whole “love” that’s advertised everywhere I go. People throw that word around all the time, and yet somehow it doesn’t stop them from jumping in head first to experience it numerous times. Now I’ve only experience love once and to have it taken away from me has done nothing but make me even more cautious with it. Am I to believe that all the times I said “I love you” to someone, only once can it really be serious and honest? I guess it’s true. Five relationships and I said those poisoned three words each time and only once did I mean and actually believe it. I didn’t say it to please the other person; I said it because I meant it. And here it is 2012 and I still can’t forget my first love. But after the healing I can’t help but feel that because of this new theory that has surfaced its way to me, I keep questioning things more than ever. For instance what exactly is the word love that everyone uses to express every detail they never shared before? Was it only created to make the idea even more known? After the year I’ve had, I can’t be judged for wondering why we use it for every relationship. I don’t have room to talk. Like I said five relationships and only once did I mean it, but that doesn’t mean I have to continue this false outlook we have on true love. I don’t know if I even believe anymore. Love is just a word that we were tricked into believing would solve every little problem we faced in life. Yet here we are. Love is nothing but a false hope that’s been created to only publicize the idea that maybe we could have something perfect too. Maybe Shakespeare had it right; love is fated and made out to be a tragedy in the end, with no resurrection. Being a teen gives me no full experience in the word, but I can’t help but see it as a disappointment that will only end up with me hurt. My opinion really doesn’t matter to others, but sometimes getting out feelings can help. “I love you” can’t heal this situation and I’m okay with that. No matter what love will always be flashy on television, movies, and books. But is it even real? Who shows up in someone’s living room with a string quartet? Gets fought over by two guys head over heels in love with you? Or gets a happily ever after from the broken home? Life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks book, no matter how much we want it to be. Garry Marshall didn’t direct our love lives, we did. Yet we haven’t dropped the remotes or books and realized how much it’s glamorized in Hollywood. Whether it’s a small town or big city, we all have that small hope that love will sweep in and save the day. That long awaited dream that involves the prince rescuing us from all our fears in the world. “True love” is nothing but a disappointment to me and it will take a change in reality for me to see it differently. Even if I did “fall in love” how would I know that it’s not some fake, over-exaggerated, ill-fated nightmare in disguise that’s just waiting for me to give in and let it take control? Maybe that’s why we take the chances and ignore the risks. We don’t want to know what might happen, because if we did there wouldn’t be stories to tell in the future about our mistakes and memories. I know there’s a few I’ll be telling, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to let go of the fear of falling too fast. If anyone felt the way I’m feeling now; I’d be deeply sorry. Who knows maybe I might have a change of mind tomorrow, next month, or even ten years from now. But the truth is I feel like I can’t trust the idea of love, it’s not appealing and with Valentine’s Day around the corner it won’t be any easier. Love is disappointing and “true love” is just a fairytale in disguise. And we ignore that in hopes of being proved wrong, getting the opportunity to have a change of mind, give into all that we fear, and let love in willingly. Without thinking of any repercussions; Because we all have an expectation for love and whether we believe it or not; it could be just around the corner