It's 2023 and almost nothing is the same as it was ten years ago, fashion trends have changed, music sounds totally different, and even the way we work, talk, or sleep is entirely different. Some argue that as humans, our responsibility is to grow and evolve and that statement is true: we should change, invent things, and develop new lifestyles. However, one thing I often think about is how the way we love and perceive love has changed over time and if we are progressing in a positive manner.

One of the notable changes when it comes to love over time is the normalization of hook-up culture. Hook-up culture has to be one of the most disastrous social norms that we have developed over the course of generations.  In my opinion, hook-up culture started at sexual liberation and from the feminist standpoint, I can see how this could have been liberating for women. It was an attempt to take sexual power and prove to the opposite  sex that we can also do things for our own pleasure, and we are allowed to be sexual beings and also be respectable. However, at some point, we lost sight of what was important, and we just evolved into people no longer actually building genuine connections with each other.

Many girls my age can relate to feeling that they are being used for their bodies; most young adult males have a hard time genuinely respecting women and have no desire to form valuable relationships. Most people in this generation have developed this mindset where it's almost not cool to be faithful to one person or to devote your feelings, time, and energy to someone. This can be seen in the negative connotation with the word “simp” (someone who excessively shows a romantic interest through words or actions) and how it's not seen as a good thing to be called one. We can even see this in the media we consume like music and tv. In a lot of modern music, specifically rap, we see the glorification of having multiple partners and the benefits instead of actually loving someone for who they are. So in response, people hop from person to person for temporary satisfaction, and how can you blame them when dating apps make it so accessible? With the rise of apps like Tinder and Bumble, meeting new people is as easy as tying your shoes. This has taken away all of the effort of actually getting to know a person and genuinely building a valuable connection. Coming into highschool I expected to find love and have the whirlwind romances I saw in all the movies. I thought as teenagers we would be finding love through social events and school dances rather than dating apps that just lead to hookups. Although my expectations of finding storybook true love in highschool may be naive, I still think we should seek out to find nice authentic connections even though we are young. When I think of hook-up culture, I think of the saying, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?”  It’s true; why should we build relationships when it's so easy to get temporary pleasure?

I think in a few years, we will really understand the full effect of how unhealthy hook-ups are when people can't keep relationships because they are used to multiple people at one time or when people just don't know how to enjoy and sustain a relationship of substance.  As a generation, we should recognize these unhealthy patterns and actively try to  seek a healthy balance of meaningful relationships.