Frayed
Be careful what you say to someone today, because tomorrow they may not be here, and you can’t take it back.

What happened to me?
It all started, my first day of middle school. I was ready to go. Butterflies swirled in my stomach. All I could think about was making new friends and having new starts.
When I got to school I had a smile on my face and a plan in my head. Step 1: Find my best friend Marlo. Step 2: Do well in school. I saw Marlo her long blonde hair flowed left to right as she walked so smoothly. I yelled out “MARLO,” and she turned and I saw those big blue eyes hidden behind her glasses. We ran up to each other and hugged as if it’s been a million years. We exchanged schedules and figured out we had every class together. The day went on smoothly and I thought the rest of the year would be a breeze.
At the start of December, I faced my first bully, Adriana. Adriana was tall with long black hair and glasses. She would tease me and I would allow her to and at times she would try to beat me up. I would go home every day balling my eyes out, and soon I began cutting. My mom would always ask me “Natalie what’s wrong? Are you doing ok? Is there anything I can help with?” My response would be, “no I’m fine.” But in my head it was saying, “Please help me I’m desperate.”
My life had been a complete train wreck, the only upside was my friends. Elise- She was beautiful (way more beautiful than I was). Her hair was the prettiest shade of dirty blonde and it flowed perfectly. Her big hazel eyes shone like diamonds. Grace- She was extremely talented, she played soccer, volleyball, basketball, lacrosse and when she would try something new she was great at it. Marlo- She had been my best friend for as long as I can remember. She was perfect in every way, her hair was perfect and always stayed in place, she had amazing style, and over all her personality lit up a room. Our little group of friends was all I needed then.
What had seemed like years passed and it was finally winter break. My grades had dropped because all I could think about was Adriana and what she would try to do to me next. My cuts became deeper, my pain stronger, and my body weaker. The school year was halfway done but I had felt like giving up.
My winter break was terrible, Adriana had started to bully Grace, and it was way worst then what she said and did to me, it had caused Grace to cut. All I could think was, “this is all my fault I need to help her she has helped me through this.” I needed fresh air so I went outside for a walk. When I reached a dead end, Adriana was there, as if she knew I would be there. I tried to run but she had already pinned me to the ground. She pulled up my sleeves of my jacket and saw my cuts and whispered, “What happened Natalie? Are you a cutter like your little friend?” I laid there stunned not knowing what to say. She finally got off of me and when she did she kicked me as hard as she could in my stomach. I laid there until I knew she was gone. I got up and sprinted home. I said nothing to my mom and went straight to my room, and that’s when my cuts became deeper than ever.
2 months later I was sitting at Graces funeral. It became too much for her and I felt like it was all because I didn’t bother to help her. I began to cry and soon I was on the cold ground screaming and yelling, “This is all my fault! I should’ve helped her!” I laid there rolling around on that cold hard ground balling my eyes out. People began to take pictures like I was some freak show. I laid there for what had felt like forever.

I couldn’t take it anymore; this was my chance my parents were out of the house. I found a rope, grabbed a chair, and found the video camera. I put the rope up for the right size of my neck; I set up the chair right underneath the rope, and put the video camera on the tripod knowing I would soon be dead. I stood on the chair and turned on the video camera. I looked in it with tears in my eyes I told my story from day 1 of middle school till then. I apologized for my mistakes in life. I began to say my last goodbyes, “It’s time for me to go I’ll miss you, stay strong. Mom and dad I love you and I’ll miss you. Elise and Marlo you’re the bestest friends ever. I’m so sorry you have to see me like this. Goodbye,” I looked at the camera one last time smiled a fake smile and once the light went off…. So did my life.