Keep a little extra sunshine stored up in jars for those days where everything seems to have gone dark and you just need a little dose of light. Hope is the strongest element, mothered by the moon, yet illuminated by the sun. You spin your dreams late at night and wait for the sunlight to call upon you so that you can create your dreams in the daylight. You may think you have too much living to do to be bothered with sleep, but three coffees a day won’t really keep the exhaustion away. Growing your hair out so that you can twist those strands instead of teasing those “what if’s” tangled like knots in your mind will never be a permanent solution. It is enough just to remember your mistake of cutting most of it off in eighth grade. You may not be ready to shed a piece of your past yet, but one day you will be ready to cut those long locks. I am writing you this to protect you, to remind you, and to warn you. In the past year I have changed so much that I know I must remind myself everyday of how far I have come, and just how much further I have left.
Counting your flaws will not gain you additional hours in the day. In fact with every freckle you despise your day only grows darker sooner. Instead play connect the dots with the new freckles that have shown with age on your skin. Embrace the change in your life because it is inevitable. Remember that nearly every element on this small planet of ours was formed at the heart of a star. We are all made of stardust. Think of your freckles like those stars in the night sky, and all that darkness in-between them is still illuminated even after they die. That is truly amazing that you cannot tell the already fallen stars from the ones still beating. Finding beautiful new connections in your life everyday is what will nurture the sprouting seed of your teenage mind. Enjoy the wonder of not really knowing who you are because no one else does either. Its that simple, yet still so very complicated.
You are going to get lost and stray from your path but you can always turn around. If you find yourself asking strangers how they are and hoping they will ask you the same then you are just begging to be found. You have to be the one to find yourself, only you have the map with the answers. You just have to know the correct questions to ask. Do not be afraid if you stumble over words, just pick them up and learn along the way. It’s ok to take calculated risks. Just remember that you are terrible at math, so it’s ok to ask for help. It is important to try your hardest to push your limits, but recognize when you can go no further. You can’t win every race, but that doesn't mean it is not worth trying to run. Right now it may all seem like a senseless waste of energy, but one day you will understand that you can’t have the trophy until it is won.
Love is not a choice, and it cannot be made. Hugging someone a little tighter won’t make their heart actually beat in rhythm with yours. Some sparks just may never catch and all fires burn out with time, but that doesn't mean you should keep it all inside just because thats the safest place to hide. Life doesn’t rhyme, and neither do your thoughts, but speak with eloquence and you will get your point across. The ones who truly understand you will know you are trying your hardest. Those who are there for you when you are at your worst are the ones who deserve you when you are at your best.
You may never know why he didn't text you back, and you just have to accept that. We don't choose our lovers like we choose our friends. There is a certain amount of your life that is completely out of your control, and some feelings just demand to be felt. You cannot run from fear, but you can manipulate it into curiosity. Never be afraid to ask questions, just be prepared for an unexpected answer.
You owe it to yourself to try, because everyone is broken, but you can't continue to wear that "CAUTION, FRAGILE" label like a suit of armor and hope no one breaks your heart because it is going to happen. People are inevitably meant to be broken. The ones who survive are those who find a way to put themselves back together creatively. You are going to fall, you are going to get hurt, but you can’t give up because of few harsh words or a black-and-blue bruise. Throw yourself back into the tide, and remember all those little things that kept you going because now they must become the wave that pushes you to shore.
Make the best of what you have and you will find you have a lot more than you thought. You’ll be ok. I promise.