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A Proposal for the Welfare of Femininity
In our current society, it is evident that women play an important role in the household as caretakers and cleaners, as well as being the bearers of our children. They are not permitted to vote, do not have education privileges at the same grade as men, and are not publicly viewed as people. They cannot own property or have wages and essentially belong to their fathers and later their husbands after marriage. Many women are beginning to stand up, and form such conventions and protests as the Seneca Falls Convention, as well as many others. Various instances of women being defiant can be observed in our history, which aids in building my solution. I propose to set women’s education mandates, as well as limit the amount of outside work and contact women have to experience.
I propose presenting all women with a mandated education program, as well as preventing them from interacting with men other than their husbands and family and restricting their beauty by wearing masks resembling animals. Women will be instructed to wear these masks from age thirteen, as by then, their future spouse is selected. These covers make the women seem less appealing to other men, confining the amount of rebelliousness and reinforcing their relationship with their husbands. In my communications with presidential candidate Samuel Tilden,* he urges implementing these solutions in the state of legislation, which would demand women's education and furnish a curriculum describing the principal subjects and standards. Adding on, he also suggests mandating the masks through additional legislation, which would make it illegal for women to leave their husband’s property without wearing a mask. According to Mr. Tilden, our government would also instate fines and punishments for the woman’s husband in order to prevent her from doing it again. For example, a woman is going to her schooling in the morning, not wearing her assigned mask. This could result in the patrolling sheriffs asking for her house number and husband’s property. The government would then discipline the husband, depending on the severity of the situation. Punishing the husband in most cases would encourage the wife to comply with the laws, as couples must care for each other as if they were one. Another side effect of this could be the strengthening of marital relationships through punishments to one side of the couple. This solution is near to perfect, and no man on the land could ever deny that in a perfect world, it would most likely take its intended effect.
My proposal is clearly a well-thought-out and accommodating solution for the prevention of women revealing their disobedience and overpowering meninism* with feminism rights. In addition to that, men are able to protect women from other malicious males, allowing women to stay inside and create a more pleasant and caring environment for their husbands and children. No man can admit that any other solution could have a corresponding effect as my immaculate proposal. So we must, together as a group, carry out this proposal further out into society. Our future must be protected at all costs, which starts from protecting our child-bearers and nurturers.
*Samuel Tilden: A Democratic party member in the late 1800s known for being a boozer and briber
* Meninism: a belief system where people (usually males) believe that men are victimized by feminism and that attention needs to be called to what they believe are the struggles of being a man
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DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece based on the essay “The Modest Proposal”, nothing in this reflects my actual beliefs.