As Jess C. Scott once said, “Friends are the family you choose” (Scott 1). From the day a person is born they learn to create connections with the world around them. They form relationships throughout their entire lifetime, starting with the bond of family. Once a child hits grade school they start forming friendships and bonds that have the potential to last a lifetime. Soon those strangers a child sees on the playground or in the classroom will turn into their friends then “besties” then family. These bonds are arguably the most important because friends are supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin; helping each other tackle whatever life throws their way. Throughout a child’s life they will meet dozens of people and each and everyone of them will shape their lifestyle and personality. Depending on who they let into their lives is up to them. Will the child pick kind, dependable people to hang with? Or nasty, self absorbed brats to surround themselves with? Finding true, genuine friends is a hard task when there are so many choices at hand, but certain signs can present themselves to show who is really worth spending effort and time on. There are many different types of friends that can be found throughout a child’s lifetime that will affect them in either a positive or negative way.

Snakes

Usually when thinking about friendships, a person would assume that they are spectacular, honest, genuine relationships...well that’s definitely wrong in this case. People who fall under this category are the WORST friends to have. They are two-headed beasts that ridicule their friend’s insecurities behind their back and lie straight to their face about doing it. These nasty fiends are cowardly and very self conscious about themselves, causing them to exploit others flaws and self-doubt. These foul creatures somehow find a way to turn every situation against themselves and pin it on their so called “friend”. They play the victim like a violin even when it’s the other person who was really hurt or angered or upset at the situation. They struggle to understand how anything could ever be their fault and have the hardest time apologizing or admitting to something they did wrong. They inflict pain on their friends by prying at their deepest, darkest secrets...the ones that are only shared with a few close friends. The beastly excuse for a friend feels no remorse for the terrible tricks they play and would do them all over again in a heartbeat. While on the other hand, the victim is left feeling so helpless because their greatest weaknesses and fears have been put on blast and used against them, by someone who they trusted a great amount. A friendship with a snake is always difficult for the victim because nine times out of ten the only one hurt is the overly compassionate, sweet, selfless one. The charismatic friend always finds a way to lend the scaly, slimy two-headed snake a helping hand to get them through every emotional break down. On the other hand, the sly fox can’t be found anywhere when their “friend” needs a shoulder to cry on or a bright ray of sunshine to comfort them on their bad days. Overall, these horrible humans aren’t worth spending even two seconds on and should be avoided at all costs.

Homies

As I stand in front of my large, glass mirror, I finish the final touches of my glamorous makeup. The doorbell rings only a moment later and I bounce down the short tile covered hallway to greet whoever is at the door. I grab the big, gold door handle and open the heavy door with one pull. When I see who it is my smile grows three feet...it is my best friend. She is holding tons of brightly colored birthday balloons and a shiny blue polka dot bag in her soft, lotioned hands. I was in complete shock from this sweet gesture and could not believe that she drove to my house early to surprise me for my seventeenth birthday. After I got over the shock of the surprise, I gave her a huge hug and thanked her multiple times for thinking of me. Once inside my house, we opened the gifts and each one was more thoughtful than the next; book of why I’m her best friend, keychain, t-shirt and candy. Even though the gifts were amazing, they weren’t what I really cared about. I was more in love with the thought that was put into each and every one of them because that’s what made the gifts a thousand times more special. She’s not my best friend because of the things she gives me but because of the memories behind everything we share. The reasons why the universe has best friends isn’t for them to give gifts or share even a laugh or two, but it’s the bond that these two people can make together. Best friends are soul mates. Best friends are family. Best friends are bonded for life. These people are connected and can’t live without each other. A best friend is considered a part of the family; they invite themself over, comfort and support their bestie and love them no matter what happens. Besties are there to see it all, from the giant grin that appears on their friend’s face when they’re happy, to the disgusting, slobbery cries that echo through the room when they are sad. In these terrible moments they know exactly how to make any situation better and brighten the day even if it is just for a second. Best friends are the most important type of friend to have because they can change a person’s life for the better.

Suburban Mom

Don’t even get me started on this group of annoying and ignorant humans. Fine too late..for starters every friend group has one, the one who always takes charge of the situation, the one who can not do anything without making a set plan, the one who is ignorant, the one who is hypocritical, the one who has to leave early to “study”, the one who is super picky about where the group eats. This person is known as the “Suburban Mom.” They are the type of friend who can’t take criticism and believes that their way is the right and only way to complete a task, like some mothers, hence the category name “Suburban Mom”. This person gets on the group’s nerves constantly and makes people angry, so angry that steam can be seen rising up from their red, hot head. The “Suburban Mom” doesn’t know when they have gone too far, they have little to no feelings about anyone besides themselves and the things that benefit them. They consider themselves the top of the food chain and the smartest not just in the group but in the world. Their enormous ego gets even bigger when someone sides with them in an argument or supports a topic they are fighting for or agrees with an answer they give. Their insensitive and judgmental side takes over too often and leaves the people they “care” about feeling hurt and worthless.These harmful words fall out of a “Suburban Mom’s” mouth like uncontrollable, chunky, wet vomit. These words are usually very truthful but also extremely hurtful for a person to typically hear. The “Mom” believes that since what they are saying is just “facts” that it shouldn’t damper a person’s ego. Then when the situation is brought up again the “Suburban Mom” says, “no I didn’t say that, I would never say that”, even though everyone in the friend group already knows that they are lying. These type of people never can admit that they were in the wrong and have no awareness of others’ emotions. When dealing with these friends don’t take their opinions personally because they are just salty and secretly jealous of others’ success.