The Loch Ness Monster v. Bigfoot and Other I watched Avengers Infinity War recently and it got me wondering, who could beat Thanos with the power of the infinity gauntlet? For my first pick it would obviously be the T-Rex from Jurassic Park because it could just eat Thanos like a ritz cracker. Second would probably be Mario from the classic mario franchise, how would he win you ask. It’s obvious you fool… he would jump on him like a koopa. Then Donkey Kong who would simply do his charged b attack from Smash Bros.

The Loch Ness Monster is cooler than Bigfoot and here’s why. The Loch Ness Monster is a possible living dinosaur that lives in the bottom of a gigantic lake. Bigfoot is just some forrest idiot walking around screeching. That ain’t cool in my book amigo. The Loch Ness Monster also has cooler people looking for it. The guy in charge of the foundation to find it looks like a scottish wizard. You know who hunts for Bigfoot? Stupid inbred hicks who go blind from drinking to much of their moonshine which is 20% raccoon blood, 70% gasoline, and 10% alcohol. One last thing It just looks so much cooler than bigfoot. It’s like this ancient aquatic lizard monster that can destroy ships, and Bigfoot is just a big monkey that walks on two legs.

You know what would be cool, if King of the Hill was in the video game series Kingdom Hearts 3. Imagine that will you, you get to visit all the classic disney/pixar locations. There’s the Pridelands from the Lion King, the place from Cinderella, the Jungle from the Jungle Book, and the always classic Arlen Texas from King of the Hill. You can have Hank and Bobby Hill help you on your quest to do whatever it is you do in those games.

You know what would be the worst superpower to have? Super healing. You wanna know why??? Well, lemme set the stage. So let’s say you are an avid hiker going into the Mojave Desert for a nice stroll and you decided not to tell anyone where you were going because “Hey I’m gonna be fine!.” But the you slip and your arm gets pinned to a rock. So after a while of trying to get your arm free you decide to try and cut your arm off. BUT “oh no” your healing faster than you can saw through your arm. So you’re stuck there forever.

I’m a Junior now so I’m pretty close to graduating and it’s got me wondering, what song should play as the Class of 2020 gets their diploma’s. I want it to either be the Crash Bandicoot theme, Fortunate Son, Africa, or Land Down Under.