“You’re leaving? Why?” I whimpered.
“I don’t have a choice Ainsley. My mom is making me move in with my grandparents until she can get back on her feet.”
“But what about me, I need you. Who else is going to protect me from Jared?” I was really crying now
“I don’t know I wish I could take you with me but I can’t.”
Dean pulled me into one long final hug.
“Bye Ainsley.” He whispered in my ear
“Bye Dean.”
I let out a big gust of air that I had been holding for quite some time. It felt so great to see Dean again, but then it also made me feel wrong in so many ways. The memories of us as little kids are warm and inviting. I want him to remember me as I was before he left, happy and bubbly. Not depressive and mutilated. It felt so natural in the hallway, it was as if he had never left, like nothing had changed. Well, almost nothing.
I turn down the familiar street and feel my mood fall farther. I silently wondered if it is too late to go back to school. I look at the clock and sigh. Of course it is. I’m not even halfway through the door, when Jared starts gripping.


“What are you doing home so early?”
“I didn’t feel good so I left early.”
“I don’t care if you were throwing up; you’re going to stay at school, I pay good money for you to go there, not for you to just blow it off.”
“You don’t pay for me to go to that school. You don’t pay for anything! You’re just a bum and a junkie living off the money my mother and I make. I don’t understand what makes you think you can tell me what to do, you are not my father, and you never will be.” I argue.
“Listen here little girl, I am an adult, therefore I do what I want. You are only 16; therefore you have to do what I say, got it?”
“No, I don’t have to listen to, or do anything you say.”
The sound of his hand hitting my face is like a cracking whip. Loud and fast.
I don’t say anything more, just keep my head down, and walk up to my room. My cheek is warm and throbbing. I try rubbing it to soothe the ache, it isn’t working. I open my dresser drawer, and grab a brand new pack, tear off the top and grab the first one my hand touches. My hands are shaking like crazy as I place the keen-edged blade against my forearm. I push down and let it rip.
The pain was inevitable. Though I’d become somewhat immune to it, I still feel some sort of pain every now and then. The blood is gushing out of my skin by the gallons. I don’t think I’ve ever gone so deep before. I drop the razor from my hand and fall back on my bed while blood continues to drip. I feel groggy; my eyes drift shut and I’m falling into a dreamless sleep.
I awake to a scream, followed by a loud crash. I jump out of bed and race downstairs. I find my mother face down on the couch with broken glass fragments surrounding her. Jared is standing behind the couch with an overwhelming look on his face.
“What did you do?” I scream.
I run over to my mother and check for a pulse, it’s there. Thank god.
“I didn’t do anything, this dumb slut can’t cook. My eggs were RAW!” he thundered.
“You broke a plate over her head because your eggs were raw? Are you kidding me? You could have killed her!” I shrieked.
“Did I? No, she is just unconscious. She’ll wake up sooner or later, and when she does, she’ll cook me eggs that are perfect,” He looked over at me, “and you will be at school. Got it?”
“I am not leaving my mother here with you. I’m taking her to the hospital. Then, I’m taking her to the police so they can throw your ass in jail.” I threaten.
CRACK another slap across the face, this one blurred my vision a bit. I am definitely going to have a welt.
“You will not take her anywhere, and will not tell anyone about what happened here this morning. Understand, princess?”
I didn’t answer. He grabbed a handful of hair and pulled my face close to his. I could feel the hairs ripping out one by one.
“Understand?” he asked again.
“Yes.” I grit through closed teeth.
When he releases my hair, I bolt up the stairs and slam my door shut. I look at the clock, it reads 6:30. I throw on the first things my hands touch and run out the door to my car. Today of all days would be the day that she decided to have a fit.
“Come on, start,” I plead, “START!!” I scream. She doesn’t start. “Damn it!” I hit the steering wheel and lay my head between my hands. I can feel the tears crawling down my face, burning a little where I was hit.
I check in the mirror to see if there was a mark. Sure enough, I had a slight bruise on my cheek. “Great.” I mutter.
I fish through my bag trying to find something to cover up the welt, when I hear a tap on my window. I look up expecting to see Jared’s angry face, but instead I see Dean.
He signals for me to roll the window down, so I do.
“Morning neighbor!” He smiled
“Morning, uh, neighbor?” As if reading my mind, Dean says
“I moved into the house three doors down this last weekend, you know the loud crashing noises that Jared came and yelled about. Any of this ringing a bell?”
“Oh yeah sorry. I just kind of block things out when it comes to him, but welcome back to the neighborhood.” I tried to sound neighborly.
“Thanks. Hey, I hate to ask, but I didn’t catch the bus in time, could you maybe give me a ride? I’ll give you gas money.”
“Oh sure, and uh, don’t worry about the gas money, we’re going to the same place; no worries.”

“Thanks. I owe you one.” He breathed.
“Anytime neighbor.” I smiled
He gave my shoulder a nudge, and walked around to the passenger side.
He got inside and said “I think you need a new car Ainsley.”
“What? You’re not here a week and you’re already ordering me around? Same old Dean.”
Dean gave me his most serious face, “Haha, no I’m just saying that your car isn’t attractive looking.”
I mock surprise, “How dare you call my car ugly!”
“I just tell it how I see it.”
We stared each other down for minutes before cracking up with laughter. I haven’t laughed like this in years, I think to myself. I look at the clock on the radio. It read 7:50; we are going to be late.
“S***!” I yelled.
“What, what’s wrong?” Dean asked.
“We’re going to be late.” I explained.
I pull away from my house and speed off down the road. I look over at Dean from the corner of my eye; He is gripping the door handle. I couldn’t help but giggle a little.
“Is there something wrong with my driving?” I chuckled.
“Yeah, I’m not going to lie, it’s kind of scary. You drive very fast.” He replied.
“Well now you know not to ask me for rides to school again, don’t you?” I joke.
“I don’t know, I think I like your reckless driving, makes me feel like I’m free or something.”
“Did I just become your chauffer?”
“Yeah, I think you did. The pay will be terrible, I’ll have you take me to ridiculous places and wait on me, but don’t worry, I’ll be great company and make you laugh till you wet yourself.” He beamed.
I look over at him skeptically, “Oh really now? You seem pretty confident in your skills Mr. Fuentes.”
“Baby, I’m very confident in my skills.” He replied.
I laughed. We reach the stop light about two minutes from school, and I relax a little. We still have five minutes until final bell. When the light goes green I slam on the gas pedal and shoot forward, making Dean squeal like a little girl. We pull into the school parking lot with two minutes to go. I jump out of the car, and start to run towards the door, but soon realize that I shut my hoodie in the door. Dean laughs uncontrollably when I fall backwards. When I get it out we sprint to the doors. The final bell rings just as we reach the front doors. Late. We enter the school, and sure enough, Wiegh is standing there, waiting.
“Fuentes, Peirce you’re late.” He yelled.
“Come on Mr. Wiegh, we were right at the door when the bell rang. You saw us!” I complained.
“Late is late Ms. Peirce, whether it’s 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Speaking of which, you now have a 30 minute detention with me Friday after school. No excuses.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!We were right there; you could see us through the damn window!” I yelled.
“Ainsley calm down. It’s not a big deal I’ll just come with you that way you’re not alone. Ok?” Dean replied.
“That won’t be necessary Fuentes; you also have a detention with me. Bring workout clothes. Both of you.” He started to walk away, but turned around and said “For your dirty mouth Peirce, you have an hour with me.”
I watched him walk down the hall with pure hatred.
“Wiegh has it out for me.” I growl
“Chill out A, It’s not a big deal; he’s just doing the tough love thing. A lot of teachers do that to students they expect more from.”
“No dean, that’s not why he is being so tough, Trust me.”
“So tell me why you think he is being so hard on you.”
“You’d never believe me If I told you.”
“Try me.”

Friday, I watch the clock all day long, cursing every minute that ticks away. It only brings me closer to my detention with Wiegh. All too soon, the last minute of the day is over and the bell lets out a loud cry. I sit in my English class, looking at the empty desks, and see Dean walk by out of the corner of my eye; he stops in front of the door.
“Hey, you ready?” He sounds kind of chipper.
“Not even close.” I groan.
Dean walks over to me and puts his arm around my shoulders, I feel a bit better.
“It’ll be alright A. We can make it fun, I doubt he will stay in there and watch us run laps for half an hour.”
“Uh, Dean, we aren’t running laps. We’re doing the workouts that he tells us to do. So yes, he will be in there the whole time.” I explain.
“Oh, well we can still make it fun. I promise.” He gives me a hopeful look.
I give in and let a grin form on my lips, “Come on; don’t want to be late for detention.”
We get to the gym and go into the separate locker rooms to change. I strip off my jeans and shirt, slip into a pair of shorts, put on my sports bra, and then put a hoodie on. I do my stretches in the locker room so I won’t be sore afterwards. I bend down all the way and touch my toes, let out a breath and relax. It feels good.
I walk out into the gym and see Dean in his shorts and tank top, which accentuates all the glorious muscles underneath. I try not to stare, but it’s hard. He jogs over and asks me to stretch with him, I don’t tell him I already stretched in the locker room. We sit down on the ground and put our feet together and lock arms. I lean back as he leans forward, grunting.
“Awh, is that too far for little Dean?” I mock.
He looks up at me and sits straight up and falls back, making me shoot forward, almost hitting my nose on the ground.
“Uhm, ouch!” I grunt. I look up and He is laughing at me.
I finish my stretch and bring him down slowly, when he is almost fully stretched out, I spread my legs out really far into the sitting splits. Dean’s still in his stretch and his legs follow mine. He yells really loud, I jump up and start to run to the girls’ locker room, but he is right behind me. I scream when he tackles me to the ground. He rolls over so he is on top of me, and pins my arms above my head.
“Shouldn’t have done that A. Now you’re gonna have to pay!” He mock threatens.
“Ooh, so scary!” I laugh.
He takes my arms and maneuvers them under his legs and starts to tickle my sides. I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe, but I can still hear dean’s laughter over mine. It’s like Christmas to my ears.
“Hey!” We look over and Wiegh is standing in the doorway. “This is detention, not a bedroom.”
I wiggle my arms out from under dean’s legs and push him off me.
“We were just messing around.” Says Dean
“Messing around is what got you here, now let’s go.”
I turn around and help dean up. We follow Wiegh back into the gym, he tells us to make sure we stand at least 10 feet from one another, and start with 50 jumping jacks. Right when we start, he comes up behind me and shows me the “correct” way to do a jumping jack. Wiegh takes my arms and places them straight above me, then slides his fingertips down my arms, past my hips and stops at my legs. He puts his hand on the inside of my thigh, near my crotch, and pushes my leg farther apart. I’m so distracted by his hand being so close, that I fall and his hand touches me there. I slap his hand and scoot away from him. He smiles.
“Alright now give me 50 push-ups.”
I concentrate on my push-ups so I can try to forget what just happened, but then I feel something touch my butt. I look behind me. It’s Wiegh.
“Try keeping your backside level with everything else.” he pushes my ass down.
“Why don’t you try to keep your hands off my ass?” I say and then slap his hand away again.
He walks around and bends down so he can whisper in my ear “You know Ainsley, I like a girl who fights back.”
“Well then you’ll absolutely love me when I kick your ass if you touch me again.” I smile up at him.
He just laughed and walked over to Dean, who was still doing his push-ups.
“Nice form Fuentes. Keep up the good work.”
“Dickhead.” I whisper to myself.
I look over at the gym doors just in time to see Wiegh’s son walk in. I don’t understand how someone like him could have a kid who looks like cam does. Tall and lean as opposed to his father’s medium stocky build. Cam’s eyes as blue as the ocean, and a head of full thick brown hair; opposite his father’s diarrhea green eyes and balding head. When you put the two together, you’d never guess they were father and son, if it wasn’t for the ego.
“Hey dad, who do we have in here today?”
“Mr. Dean Fuentes and Ms. Ainsley Peirce, They were late walking into the school this morning. Ainsley’s mouth has her in here for an hour, he’s only in here for another fifteen.”
Cam looked over at Dean, “Are you new here? I’m not sure I recognize you.”
Dean stands up and walks towards Cam, “Yeah I just moved back to town.” He sticks his hand out, “Dean Fuentes.”
Cam shakes his hand, “Cameron Wiegh. Where did you transfer from?”
“Elmira.” Dean replies
“Oh, they’ve got a great football team. You play for them?” Asks cam
“Nah, I’m more of a soccer and basketball kind of guy.”
“Hey, you’re still in detention Fuentes. Peirce! Give me ten laps around the gym,” he looks over to Dean, “why don’t you go join her?”
I get up, stretch my legs a little and start in on my laps. Dean easily falls in synch next to me.
“How’s it going Aisy?”
“Terrible, big boy’s already rubbed me down and touched my crotch, which was kind of my fault. Plus he felt my ass, and we haven’t even been here for twenty minutes yet.” I huff.
Dean stops running and grabs my arm, I jerk to stop right next to him.
“Wait, he touched you?”
“Yeah, look it’s not a big deal. I’m used to it from him, like I told you earlier.”
“Why?” He growled
“Dean, look at me. It’s not a big deal, I can handle it. I’ve had worse, trust me.”
I started on my laps again leaving him standing there. I wasn’t ahead for too long though, he passed me multiple times before I was finished with my ten. Before I was done, dean had finished his sixty sit ups, thirty more push-ups and his drill runs.
“Way to go speedy.” I say in awe.
Dean doesn’t say anything back, he just walks right by me and goes into the locker room. I look up at the clock. 3:30. Damn, he’s done. I walk to the center of the room and stand in front of Wiegh.
“Just you and me now Ainsley, let’s have some fun.” He spits in my ear.
“I’d rather not, I’m not in the mood for whatever ‘fun’ you’re thinking of.”
“Are you ever going to warm up to me darlin’?”
“In your dreams.”
He hands me two fifty pound dumbbells and tells me to lift them above my head and then squat down with them out in front of me. When I raise my arms, he places his hands on my ribs and rubs them up and down. When I squat down with them out in front of me, his hands slide down to my hips and hold me there.
“Stop touching me” I grumble
“Would you like to touch me?” he asks
I gag at the thought, “Not in a million years.”
Before I could blink, Mr. Wiegh had me pinned on the ground and was hovering over me.
“Get off me!” I screamed
I tried pushing on his chest to get him to falter a little bit, it didn’t work. Wiegh grabbed my arms and pinned them above my head. I felt a sharp pain in my arm and remembered my cut, his hand was exactly where it is. I could feel his hand rubbing and pushing on it, he was going to make it break open.
“Get off!” I tried again, he just put more pressure on my arms.
And that’s when I felt it burst. My scream flooded the gym and echoed in my ears. The sleeve on my hoodie was getting warm and sticky, I knew it was the blood oozing out. I screamed again as Wiegh pulled hard on my hair. It didn’t last as long as the last one though, his mouth cut me off mid scream. I started to thrash against him and try to wiggle out of his grasp, but couldn’t. His body weight was crushing me and I couldn’t breathe, and then just like that, he was gone. I jump up and look around for him, he’s lying face down on the floor, with dean on top of him throwing crazy fists.
“Dean,” I scream, “no! Dean stop!” I’m trying to pull him off but I can’t get ahold of him. I grab him around the waist and try jerking him back, instead of him falling back like I’d hoped, one of his fists caught me on the side of the face. I lose my grip on him and fall back, hitting my head on the bleachers. Cam comes barreling through the weight room doors and runs over to help get dean off, he has more success than I did. He and Cam start pushing each other and yelling. I stand up, stagger towards the two and grab ahold of Dean.
“Dean stop, please.” I beg my voice is hoarse. He doesn’t listen, he doesn’t even look at me, just pushes me out of the way. He didn’t push me hard, just enough to get me out of his and cam’s way, but I fell down again anyways. My head is throbbing where I cracked it on the bleachers. I touch it and look at my fingers. They’re bleeding. My vision starts to get hazy and I feel my eyes drifting shut. Through the haze and half shut eyes, I see Dean floating above me, murmuring words I can’t hear. I feel as if I’m on the edge of a cliff, and as every second passes I get closer to falling off. I watch his panic stricken face fade, and feel myself fall over the edge.
*~*~*
“Where are we going?” I giggle in the dark
“Shhh, just follow me.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
I watched as his silhouette turned around the corner and disappeared.
“Dean, where are you?” I whisper
I hear something rustle behind me, and freeze.
“Dean?” I say a little louder, “Dean where are you?”
Something touches my arm and I try to scream, but before anything can come out, a hand clamps down on my mouth.
“It’s me.” He chuckles into my ear
I push away from him, “That wasn’t funny.”
I can see his smile in the subfuscous light, I hear his quiet laughter and I can’t help but laugh along with him, what can I say? He’s contagious.
“Ainsley!” I hear my name called in the distance, the voice sounds so familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
“Dean, did you hear that?” I ask
“Hear what?”
“Someone is calling my name, you don’t hear it?”
“Ainsley, no one is calling your name.”
I hear the invisible person yell my name again, and with it comes a terrible stench.
“Yes there is!” I argue “ugh, what is that smell? It’s burning my eyes!”
“What are you talking about? I don’t smell or hear anything.”
“Ow, Dean it burns!” I scream. I look at him, but he is gone, everything around me looks as if it is dissolving. I clutch my throat and try not to breathe in that awful smell, I feel the diffused world closing in, crushing me. My knees give way and I collapse to the ground, I see a dark silhouette coming towards me, but I can’t gather the strength to run. It’s floating above me, taunting me. With one final swish, the shadow dives down at me.

A scream claws at my ear drums, I open my eyes to see who is screaming, but only see Dean and Cam. That was my scream. I sit up and my head gets dizzy.
“Oh thank god.” Says dean in a breathy voice, “I thought you’d never wake up.”
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the locker room, everything’s fine.” its cam consoling me.
My head is pounding! I rub where it hurts, but quickly pull my fingers away. “Ouch.”
Cam chuckles, “Yeah that’s going to hurt for a couple of days. Try to take it easy, ok?”
“Uhm, ok.” I let my eyes wander over to Dean, he wasn’t looking at me. “Dean, can you take me home please?”
“Yeah, come on, let’s get you out of here.” He hoisted me into his arms and carefully carried me to my car. Walking out of the school and feeling the wind hit my face made me dizzy, I huddled closer into Dean, and I felt his grip get a little bit tighter. I tried to squirm my way out of his arms when we reached the car, but he wouldn’t let me down.
“Dean, you can put me down now, I have to drive us home you know.”
“You’re not driving us anywhere. I’m driving, but you’re not staying at your house tonight.”
“Why?” I ask
“It’s more than possible that you have severe concussion, and a fractured cheekbone. I’m not throwing you to the wolf when you’re not capable of defending yourself.” He explained
“I’m more than capable of defending myself, I’ve been doing it for the last five years without any help, what makes you think today is any different?” I snap
He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even acknowledge that I even said anything. He opens the passenger door, sets me in the seat and buckles me up and then slams the door, really hard. I know my words hurt him, but it’s the truth, I don’t need him to be taking care of me like I’m a child. He gets into the driver’s seat and adjusts it to where he can sit in it properly without being smashed against the windshield. We pull out of the parking lot and out onto the road in eerie silence, I peek at him out of the corner of my eyes, he has a hateful look on his face.
“Hey, look, dean I’m sorry for what I said back there. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just don’t want you to think I’m helpless and I need you there to take care of me all the time, because I don’t.”
“It wasn’t my choice to leave. If I could have stayed here and protected you from Jared and anyone else who hurt you, Ainsley you know I would have. Seeing that bruise on your face Wednesday, god, do you have any idea how bad I wanted to run in your house and beat the holy hell out of Jared?” He paused to look at me, “and today when you told me that that filthy bastered touched you, I didn’t want to believe it. Then I saw the way he looked at you when you ran, it was like a lion watching its prey, I couldn’t stand it. Then I heard you screaming and when I ran out I saw him on top of you, I saw red, and my first thought was to kill him. I would have killed him, but Cam pulled me off and let him get away. I was ready to fight Cam too, but when I looked down and saw you on the ground, bruised and bleeding, all the anger and all the hatred went away. Knowing that I am the reason you were hurt, and that I hit you, to me, that’s unforgiveable.” Dean reached over and stroked his fingertips across my cheek.
“I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you Ainsley, but I can promise you that it’ll never happen again.” He whispered
We pulled into his driveway and he helped me out of the car and into the house. I swayed a little when he let go of my waist, so he picked me up in his arms and carried me up to his room.
“You know I can walk, right dean?” I try to joke, he doesn’t laugh. “Come on, lighten up, it was an accident. I’m not mad at you. I swear.”
“You should be mad at me. Christ, you should hate me, I acted like Jared today! How can you say you’re not mad, I pushed you and hit you in the face! You have a god awful looking bruise on your face and a concussion, you can barely walk without falling over, how can you not be angry with me? How can you not hate me?” He was crying.
I took his face in my hands, “Dean look at me, this isn’t your fault. You were trying to protect me! Don’t be mad because you hit me, you didn’t mean to, you didn’t even know that I was standing behind you. You were just doing what you do best, protecting me, and trying to keep me safe. Yes, I admit you messed up, but it’s nothing to beat yourself up over, I’ve had worse.” I brushed his tears away with the tips of my thumbs and kissed his forehead.
Dean hugged me close and whispered in my ear, “You wouldn’t have had worse if I’d stayed.” then left the room to compose himself, only to return a few seconds later with a bag of ice.
“For your head, I bet it hurts pretty badly.” He tossed me the bag, I caught it and put to the lump, it felt better. “Here, hand me your clothes and I’ll wash them for you.”
“I don’t have anything else to wear.” Dean throws me a baggy shirt and some basketball shorts. “Thanks, could you leave the room for 2 minutes please?” He leaves so I can change and comes back in with a small basket.
I take my clothes and toss them to him. He goes downstairs to start the load, and I lay down on his bed. My eyes feel so heavy, I don’t have the strength to keep them open, and so I let them close. I’m not asleep for long, I ‘m awaken by Dean shaking me.
“Ainsley, stay awake, I can’t let you fall asleep.”
The shaking is making me very nauseous; I turn over to the side and throw up all over him and his carpet.
“Dean, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to really. I’ll clean it up, just tell me where the cleaning supplies are, and I’ll do it right now.” the words rush out of my mouth
“It’s fine Ainsley, don’t worry about it, I can clean it up.” He gives me a half-hearted smile
“Dean I’m really really sorry!” Tears are pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably. Not just because I puked on his carpet, but because of everything I’m putting him through. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest.
“Ainsley relax, it’s alright. It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have shaken you so hard.”
“Stop doing that!” I yell, and he looks at me like I’m crazy. ”Just stop, you always take the blame for something I do; you never let me take any responsibility! It’s my fault you got into the fight, it’s my fault I have a concussion, and it’s my fault I threw up on your carpet! Stop blaming yourself for everything bad that happens to me. It hurts me to see you upset over me, dean. I hate seeing you like this, I love you and I want to see you happy. I want to see the old you, the happy you.”
Dean pulls my head towards his so our foreheads are touching, “I am happy Ainsley. Whenever I’m with you I can’t help but laugh and smile, and hearing you laugh, it’s like ecstasy. You are my addiction.”
“Are you making a reference to Twilight?” I ask
He pulls away, “What do you mean?”
“In twilight, Edward tells Bella she’s like a drug to him, like his own personal brand of heroin.”
Dean throws his head back and laughs.
“What’s so funny?” I ask
“You are nothing like my own personal brand of heroin. You’re more addictive, like cigarettes.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Yes and no.”
“Can you explain it?”
“When I’m away from you for too long, I feel agitated and upset because I don’t know if you’re ok or if you’re hurt or something. When I’m with you though, it’s like ‘ah, now I can make it through the day’. You make me feel relaxed and when you leave, I just want you to turn around and come back.” He slowly pulls my head towards his again, our lips just inches from each other.
“And what’s the bad part?” I whisper
“No matter how good you make me feel, I know that someday, you’ll be the death of me.”
With that, he closed the last few centimeters between us, and our lips met for the first time. I expected to feel fireworks, like you hear in the movies, but I didn’t. I felt molten lava. It started slow, blanketing my skin. Then I felt it deeper, I felt it in my blood, boiling and bubbling. It’s a contradiction, I don’t know whether I should scream or if I should sigh in content and melt into him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, but he leans away from me, breaking the kiss. I try to pull him in again but he just laughs and gently pushes me back.
“Easy there tiger,” he laughs, “Mom will be home soon, so you should probably try and get some rest before she gets here.”
“Didn’t you just say you couldn’t let me sleep?” I test.
“Yes I did, but that was when I wasn’t sure if you were going to wake up or if you were going to slip into a coma.”
“What makes you think I’m not going to slip into a coma now?”
He laughs, “You seem to be healthy enough to sleep I guess. Does your head still hurt?”
“Yeah but not that much, the ice helped a lot.” I glance up at him, “What?”
He was looking at me weird “Ainsley, what’s that on your arm?”
I looked down, my cut was out in the open, and had a lot of dried blood surrounding it.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” I move away from him and try to hide my arm somehow.
Dean grabbed my arm and brought it closer to his face. “That’s not ‘nothing’ Ainsley.”
I jerked my arm away from him again, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t want to talk about it, too bad,” he paused “Why, why would you do that to yourself? What the hell would make you feel the need to do that to yourself? I know you have a hard life, but cutting yourself isn’t going to do anything but leave nasty scars.” He scolded
“You don’t understand.” I mutter
He stands up, “I don’t understand? Well why don’t you explain it to me then!”
“I can’t.” I can feel the tears forming in my eyes
“Try,” He snarls. He’s so close to my face that I can feel his breath on my cheeks
“I can’t,” I try to say but he interrupts me.
“Why!”
“I don’t know I just can’t!” I scream, “You really want to know why I do it? I cut because I want to, my step dad can put me in the hospital for two weeks, but I can’t have a few home-made scrapes here and there? Most importantly, it makes me feel good; sometimes I think that if I go deep enough I’ll finally be able to escape from this hell hole and the people who run it!”
“Those are not scrapes Ainsley, those are eulogies waiting to be written.”
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to write yours.” I say getting up
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’m done, I get enough ridicule from the people at school and my parents, I don’t need it from you.” I walk towards the door but dean steps in front of me.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t judging you, I just, I just want to understand.” he begs.
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Ainsley, please don’t walk out on me,” he begs.
I reached around him, grabbed the door handle and jerked the door open,” You walked out on me first.” I slammed the door behind me.
I storm out the front door and climb in the driver’s seat of my car and tear off down the street. I can’t go home yet, I’m upset enough, and I don’t need Jared making me feel worse. I watch as the grey house passes by my window. I thought I caught glimpse of someone walking by the front window, but I could care less. I pull onto the familiar gravel road, and drive all the way down til I reach the woods. I kill the engine, but don’t get out yet. I sit and think about what happened twenty minutes ago, I feel a wrenching in my chest and close off the thoughts. I open the car door and walk to the edge of the woods, stopping just a few feet from it. I gaze at the trees, and find myself traveling back in time. I close my eyes and let the memories break through the barrier I’d kept up for so long, flooding my brain with the things I’d kept hidden. I can hear laughter, see smiles, and feel love. I open my eyes, and know I’m home.

Ainsley. The forest susurrates my name, beckoning me further and further, until I can no longer see where I had entered. This somehow comforts me, though. I’m not surrounded by drug addicts, alcoholics and conceded pretty boys. I’m embraced by wilderness, the trees sway back and forth, closing me in for a hug. The ground, plush with grass, cushions my body as I lay across it. The sounds of waterfalls and gorges are a lullaby, tacitly singing me to sleep. *~*~* “Daddy, please don’t go,” I cried. My father turned around and lowered to his knees, “Ainsley, daddy loves you. Don’t ever forget that,” His brown eyes boring into mine. “If you love me then why are you leaving? Take me with you” Tears fell down my face like rain from the sky. He chuckles, “Honey bee if I could take you with me I would,” he pauses, “but I can’t. Your mother is going to need you here.” “But won’t you need me where you’re going?” “Yes, but your mom needs you more.” He picks me up, squeezes me so hard I can’t breathe, but I don’t complain. I could feel more tears dripping down my cheeks; I couldn’t tell if they were his or mine. Something was off about this hold, it was as if he were holding me for the last time. ‘Silly daddy,’ I wanted to tell him, ‘of course you’ll see me again!’ I heard a sniffle, and pull back from him. “Daddy, why are you crying?” He smiles that crooked smile we both share, “Because I’m going to miss you very very much. No matter how old you get, and no matter how much you’ll come to hate me, just remember that I am always thinking about you honey bee.” He gives me one final kiss on the forehead, gets on his feet, and slides into the car. I hear the engine roar to life, see him wave one last time, and feel the first bit of my heart break off. *~*~* I’m awakened by a passing car honking its horn, and someone screaming profanities out the window. I rub my eyes and sit up, I notice that it’s pitch black out, and look down at my watch. It’s almost midnight, I scramble to my feet and walk blindly back to my car. It’s not so hard to find my way out; I’ve been running away and coming here for years. My foot catches a fallen branch and I stumble, almost running into a tree. Finally I see my car, but there’s something leaning against it. I burst through the clearing and see Jared. “What are you doing here?” I ask. He pushes off the car and walks towards me, shockingly, he isn’t stumbling like his normal intoxicated self. He stops three feet from me, and just stares at me. “Jared what are you doing here?” I ask again “What, a worried stepfather can’t go out looking for his missing stepdaughter?” He snickers. I’m shocked as the smell of his breath hits my face, “Are you actually sober, or am I still dreaming?” I question. “How did you know where to find me?” “I saw you come here a couple times when you were younger, figured you’d be here when you didn’t come home. Speaking of which, how come you didn’t come home?” He questions. “I wanted to be by myself for a couple of hours.” I say cautiously. Jared’s eyebrow shoots up, testing me. “You sure it wasn’t because of Dean?” I stop walking away from him. “Kid came by the house around 8 o’clock, wanted to talk to you. When I told him you weren’t there he kind of freaked out, said you two had gotten into a fight and you just took off. He sounded pretty upset about the whole thing. So when he left, I figured, maybe I’ll go and look for her.” He whispers the last bit. “So what, we did get in a fight. What’s it matter to you, you’re not my father, and It’s not like you’ve ever cared before either.” I snap “Well I didn’t, but then when he showed up on our doorstep looking the way he did, it hit me. Ainsley, sweet precious innocent little Ainsley, isn’t so innocent. Is she?” “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” “I mean,” He says, “you’re sleeping with him, aren’t ya?” “That’s none of your business.” I say “I mean sure he’s a good lookin’ kid and all, but I think you could do a little better, personally.” “Well, thanks for the bit of advice, but I don’t think that’s up to you. If I were sleeping around, who I slept with would be up to me, not you.” I don’t try to hide the sarcasm in my voice Jared walks a couple of paces towards me and grabs my arm, “Don’t use that tone of voice with me little girl. You still live in my house, therefore you follow my rules and you do as I say.” I struggled against his hold, but couldn’t pull away. “You know, I thought it was just my beer-goggles, but you are actually a pretty little thing.” He says attentively. “What are you talking about?” I say exacerbatedly “You, with your brown hair and your green eyes,” he says getting closer now, “and those lips, could make even the strongest man go weak in the knees.” He brushes a stray strand of hair out of my face, “Your skin so soft and beautiful.” I smack his hand away and take a step back from him. “What are you telling me to do now?” I say through gritted teeth. He seemed to think about it for a second, and then a smile formed across his distorted face. “Right now, I’m giving you until the count of ten to run, and then I’m going to find you.” There was something mysterious in his voice that made me visibly shudder, “What are you going to do when you find me?” He leaned closer to my face, “You’ll see.” He released my arm and I dashed into the forest and ran as fast as I could. I could hear him counting, mocking me. I didn’t know where I was, I stopped and looked around, trying to figure out if anything looked familiar. In my head I was screaming why did you stop? You’re just wasting time! RUN! I couldn’t hear his counting anymore, which meant the hunt, was on. I heard a branch snap behind me and I propelled myself forward, not even looking back to see what it was. The sounds of his footsteps close in on me where everywhere; I couldn’t tell if he was in front of me, behind or beside me. I could tell that I was close to the waterfalls and the gorges, the sound of the water was deafening. I followed the sound and it leads me to the waterfalls drop off. I stop and hesitate, not sure what to do next. “Ainsley, where are you?” Jared sings Without even thinking I trudge through the water until it’s up to my neck and wait. “Ainsley!” he yells, all signs of playfulness gone from his voice. He was so close; I took a deep breath, dove into the water and started swimming. I feel like I’ve been swimming for a half hour when I finally burst through the surface. My lungs, drained of air, are taking in all the oxygen they can. I climb up on the huge rock and sit there, waiting. Not many people know about this cave, but Dean and I found it when we were eleven, we’ve used it as our ‘getaway’ ever since. I look down at my watch and see that its 11:55, only fifteen minutes have passed since I woke up? How is that possible? My watch must be behind. I wait ten more minutes before I jump back into the water and swim towards shore. Jared doesn’t have the patients to wait for anything longer than five minutes. The water is ice cold, and my arms hurt, but I push through it anyways. Finally I reach land, and crawl out of the water. I sprawl out on the ground and try to catch my breath. “Thought you got away didn’t you?” My whole body stiffens. I open my eyes and Jared is hovering over me. His hand comes down like a hammer on my chest, knocking what little breath I had, out of me. Jared gets on top of me and squeezes my neck, cutting my air supply off completely. I bring my knee up and try to catch him in the groin, but I miss and he squeezes harder. This is it I think to myself, this is how I die. Or is it? Jared lets go of his death grip on my neck and I can breathe again. I greedily take in all the oxygen that I can, not wasting an ounce. I feel an excruciating pain in my side and scream out in agony, I fumble around blindly until my hands find the location of pain. I hold it tightly, hoping to cease my anguish, but all it does is make it worse. I immediately pull my hand back, and catch a small glimpse of red blanketing my fingers. I bring my hand back to my eyes and see that it’s enshrouded with blood. I look down and see that my shirt is no longer light blue, but dark purple. I scream again as the same feeling of pain is mimicked on the other side of my body. I feel another sharp pressure, but this time, it’s in my legs. My whole body starts to go numb, though not fast enough. I can just barely feel the pain on the outside, but the next thing I feel is the worst pain anyone could ever imagine. I was expecting to feel the blade enter my other leg, instead it was thrust in me. I can feel everything on the inside being sliced and pierced, I can’t scream, the pain is beyond the point of vocal outbursts. I thought at this point my body would just shut down, stop functioning and make everything numb. It doesn’t. I can’t move, I lie there paralyzed as he desecrates me. I flinch each time the serrated blade enters me, he smiles. I’m no longer in control of my eyes; they are roaming around, almost as if they are searching for something. I force them to zero in and lock on Jared. He’s standing over me, staring at my motionless carcass, and then he’s gone. I roll my head to the side to see where he disappeared to, he is there lying on the ground in the fetal position. My eyes lift themselves upwards and find Dean crouched down beside him. How does he always know where to find me when I need him most? Dean stands up and starts walking towards me but Jared shoots up and starts right behind him. I try to yell to him, but all that came out was the sound of me choking on my own blood. Jared slams into the back of Dean sending him face first into the mud. Dean bounces back quickly though, he rolls over and blasts Jared in the face with his foot, there is a nasty crunching sound when it connects. Dean stands up and kicks Jared in the stomach, hard. He runs back over to me and carefully tries to slide his hands underneath me to lift me in his arms. It hurts so bad I scream and he removes his arms. “Ainsley I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He cries I want so badly to console him, to tell him that this isn’t his fault. He looks down and I see all color drain from his beautiful tan skin. He looks at me again, but this time with pure fury and tears in his eyes; he stands back up.

I’d never seen that look on his face before; the expression in his eyes was that of unadulterated hate. I didn’t want him and Jared to fight anymore, as much as I anathemized Jared, I didn’t want to see anyone else get hurt. Especially Dean. I tried to tell him not to do it, to stop, but every breathe I took felt like it would kill me. My eyes roll over to the side just in time to see Jared stand up. Dean and Jared are standing face to face; Dean has a look in his eyes that’s the most of abhorrent looks, Jared with a spiteful sparkle in his. Dean takes a step towards Jared and he takes a step back, smiling, his teeth covered with his own blood.
“You like what you see little Fuentes?” Jared taunts, “It’s a shame you didn’t sleep with her while you had the chance, because by the time I’m done with her, she’ll never be able to screw anyone without thinking of me.”
Dean took the bait and lurched at him, grabbing him by the throat.
“You disgusting pig! I should kill you right here, right now.” Dean snarls
Even though he is getting the life choked out of him, Jared still continues to smile. “But then you won’t be able to save her.” He grunts, his face turning a slight shade of purple.
For a moment I think I see Dean’s hand relax a bit, but then they grip harder. I can see the life draining out of Jared, and I can see that Dean isn’t going to stop until there is no life left to drain. I take a big breath a try my damnedest to call to Dean.
“Dean.” I didn’t even know that was my own voice, so hoarse, so… lifeless. I could just barely hear it myself, so it surprised me when dean looked over at me.
He looked at me with such despair it nearly killed me. He looked back down at the unconscious Jared and dropped him. Jared slumped to the ground and clawed the air as if he were trying to bring it to his mouth.