Bob awoke to what sounded like a thunderclap. Expecting to see dark clouds, he quickly climbed out of bed and threw on his chainmail and leather armor. He looked out the entryway to his cave whilst affixing his dagger to his belt, expecting to see dark storm clouds. To his surprise, it was just a regular, clear autumn day. Hastily climbing out of his bed, he jogged across the cold stone floor of the mountainside cave to find that it was indeed day. On a large stone outcropping however, stood a tall black rock in the shape of an “O”. In the center of it was a hazy, swirling purple gas like substance. The dead leaves around it looked colorless, as did the small tufts of moss that dotted the rock.

“A portal!” he thought. Bob took a step back in fear. He felt as if something would exit in the next 10 seconds. “I thought portals were outlawed in ‘02! I will have to inform the SLEC about this.” Bob waited, anxiously. He wouldn’t be able to overpower a criminal, he knew. 

Right as he took one step closer to the gateway, it flashed and turned a deeper shade of purple. A red man with stubby legs exited the portal, in a hurried fashion. He sported a goatee and circular glasses that he wore too far down on his nose so that with each short step he took they nearly fell off.

 “Oh, sir,” The man said in a high-pitched voice, “are you the fabled Sir Octavian Somethingoranother?”

 Bob looked dumbfounded. A short red man just came out of an illegal portal right outside the entrance to his house, and now wants to know if he is the legendary hero of the ages? 

“I...yes, of course I am.” he stated, unconvincingly. The red man stopped before him and produced a clipboard. After a moment, he turned it so that Bob could see. It depicted a crudely drawn picture of a glass of water and a picture of a 3-headed animal.

 “Lucifer, god of the Underworld, is in dire need of a glass of milk from the overworld. His favored pet was poisoned by a witch. That witch had taken a trip to the Underworld and tried to kill Cerberus, because all she could hear through her portal were the thunderous barks of that hellhound. It really interrupted her incense-enchanting sessions, which are her main source of income. I personally think little Cerberus needs a bath, because he hasn’t taken one in a millenia.”

Bob stood blankly for a second, processing all the things that the red man said.

“You want me to bring you a glass of milk?” Bob says shakily. This should be easy, I hope.

The red man nodded several times in rapid succession. “Yes, yes yes! That is all he needs. Bring it to me as soon as you can. I will be tending to this portal during the Overworld daytime. You can catch me anytime that your sun is visibly in the sky.” 

Bob looked back at the portal.

 “Portals were made illegal a few years ago, you do know you can be arrested, don’t you?”

 It sounded silly to say to what Bob assumed is a demon, but it could happen. The red man avoided the question, and simply turned and walked back into the portal, his stubby legs working as fast as they could. 

“I expect even the likes of you, a random human, could acquire a simple cup of milk. If you don’t, well...I think you’ll know when it’s too late.”

The red man blinked out of existence, and the portal collapsed into a pile of shiny black rubble. 

Well.

He thought for a while, and then decided to walk down into the village, hoping to find a glass of milk. 

It was an overcast day outside, much like it typically was in the city limits of Quasigate. Quasigate is the largest city in all of Iir. It is the center of most commerce and trade, and specialize monster-related goods, since part of it was and still is home to a large horde of creatures. Bob did not know where any of these monsters came from or stayed, so he didn’t think much of it.

As he walked out of the shady forest, he approached the outskirts of a more rural part of the city. A few of the residents were going about their daily tasks. As Bob walked between the outer houses, he noticed that the marketplace was busier than usual. People were talking very loudly, or even yelling at the traders in the stands. The most noticeable stand was one with a striped purple and white awning, which had at least 15 people crammed under it, all grabbing and yelling at the merchant inside. Bob took notice and walked to the side of it, to get a clearer view of the goods being sold. What he saw were various monster parts, most of them black and charred from fire, supposedly. 

Bob then saw the merchant himself, dressed in dark, torn clothing. The iron chestplate he wore was adorned with a deep purple gem that seemed to emit a tiny bit of light. The merchant was resting his chin on his hands, with his elbows on the table. For a second, he appeared to be lost deep in thought. Then, he raised his eyes to meet those of a potential customer, and said something inaudible to him. The customer looked disdainful, and handed the merchant a small leather sack in exchange for something on the table. Even through all the yelling around him, the merchant appeared calm and collected. He opened the sack to peer inside, his eyes widening in rage. He closed the sack and threw it at the ground. Grabbing a small black cylinder from his bag, he got up from his stool and walked furiously out of his stand, eyes locked at the last customer, who was jogging away from the trading area. The merchant then stopped where he was, and grabbed the cylindrical object with both hands. He raised it above his head and swiped it downwards. On it’s descent, a metallic green emerged from its center, almost like a blade. It extended all the way past the fleeing customer, about 5 meters away, to end up glancing off his bag. As the blade quickly contracted, he stopped at once and looked back in fear. It was at this time the entire marketplace grew silent.

“Next time,” the merchant said in a raspy voice,”I won’t miss.” He began rearing the object once again, before the man ended up falling on his face, apologizing profusely. The merchant walked up to him, snatched back his item, and walked back to his stand. 

Quickly, the marketplace resumed it’s normal loudness.  A young man beside Bob leaned over to him. “Y’know, he’s new ‘round here. Didn’t ever introduce ‘imself, he just showed up an’ set up his stand ‘ere. I’ve heard he’s got good monster stuff.” Bob looked back at the merchant. His baggy eyes and ragged clothing made him take the appearance of a beggar, but after his actions from a mere moment ago, there’s no way he’d have to rely on others for a living.

“Do you know what he sells?” Bob asked the young man, wanting to know more about the products without getting involved in the crowd.

“I do know that he sells bits and pieces of monsters, and sometimes brings about rare artifacts or monster appendages. Looks like he’s got something good today.”

Bob thanked him for the information, and walked off to find someone who sold milk. The marketplace was quite busy today, but not overcrowded. As he walked down a sidestreet, Bob saw a stand that belonged to a farmer, as shown by the striped yellow and white awning. A burly man stood inside, reading a book whilst waiting for a customer. As Bob walked up to him, he looked up from his book.
“Hey, laddie. How can I help you today?” The farmer said with a wide grin. Bob looked on the table in front of him for milk, to no avail. 

“Do you sell milk, by chance?” Bob asked the man, who quickly doubled over in laughter. “Gahahahah...You said that with such a straight face, I... “ He continued chuckling and then regained his composure, looking back at Bob. 

“Y’aren’t from ‘round here, are ye?” The farmer inquired.

“I live just up the mountain, but make a trip here every now and then. What’s the matter?” Bob replied, curiously. The man looked down and shook his head. 

“A few days ago, all our cows were taken or killed on the spot, overnight. Someone said they had found prints in the ground that looked like a dragon’s feet, but they were sorta small. I dunno what happened, but we don’t have any cow-related products left.” 

A trader from the next stand over stepped in, 

“You didn’t know about that? How long are ya planning on staying holed up in that there mountain?” 

He chuckled to himself and returned to his stand. The farmer dismissed him. 

“You’ll have better luck asking the genie ‘bout getting summa that milk!” He said, laughing. Bob walked away to find someone else. As he browsed the other stands, he decided to pay a visit to the genie, just to see if she could offer some advice. Bob didn’t really expect much from her, anyways. As he walked through the beaded curtains, he entered a dark, candlelit room. The Genie, Gertrude, sat with her legs crossed on a velvet pillow, behind a table with a crystal cube. She looked up at Bob with curious eyes. Immediately, she says to Bob, “Pay.”. Begrudgingly, Bob handed her 2 silver pieces. As she pockets them, she states “I know what you want. What you need.” Bob nodded slightly, wanting to roll his eyes at her. “I just want to know if you have any advice for me, I’m look-” He starts, but then Gertrude cuts him off with a wave of her hand. “Sit.” she says, and Bob obeys. Gertrude begins slapping the crystal cube gently on 5 of its sides. “You…” She says, mystically, “you want something small, and rounded. It looks simple…?” She pauses for a moment. 

“Why did you come to me, if you are only looking for a glass of milk?” She opens her eyes, and looks straight at Bob. 

“There’s no milk in the marketplace, and I need it because-” He is cut off again by Gertrude. She says to him: “There is a man with an excessively tall hat, in the town of Serith. He always keeps a glass of milk under his hat, for good luck. Go find him, and do what you must to acquire that glass of milk. Now go, for I feel you do not have much time left even now.” Bob thanked her and left. As he walked back outside, he noticed that the sun was already setting. How long was he in there? It only felt like a minute to Bob, but it was obviously much longer than that. Bob decided to hike back up the mountain, for he needed to get something to eat. After walking up the trail for a bit, he began to think to himself, “What was with that woman? She was like every other genie, no different at first glance. But the way time passed in there, something had to have happened. He looked back at the town and could only see a few dim lights through the foliage. Is it really night? He couldn’t believe it. Not one person was outside. He turned back to continue on the trail. Each time he passed a fallen tree, he checked back on the town. Each time, another light would have dimmed. By the time he reached the rocky entrance to his living quarters, he gazed once more at the town. There was one light that remained. One person was still awake, he assumed. Bob began preparing a meal. He found it hard to comprehend the events of the previous hours. 

After Bob had prepared the meal, he was startled by the sound of someone falling on the ground, just outside. He instantly reeled back, readying his wooden knife in the event that he was ambushed by an animal. When a minute or so had passed, he began advancing to the edge of the cave, peering around the corner to see what had made the noise. All was quiet. The bushes and shrubbery that lined the rocky embankment of the cave shook and swayed in the wind, but the light from Bob’s lanterns were not enough to fill the murky darkness. Bob almost turned to go back inside before he noticed a hunched-over figure that was hiding behind a bush. It looked like a person with tattered brown clothing, hiding from him. Bob tried to let them know that their cover was blown. “Hey, I can see you.” No response. Bob hesitated, but thought that if he could intimidate them, they would reveal themselves. “You know, I am the Legendary Sir Octavian Somethingoranother. I will not hold back if I find the need to destroy you.” Bob felt bad, disrespecting the hero of the ages, but thought it necessary. The form did not move. Instead, a voice from behind spoke. 

“Gotcha!” 

Bob had no time to react before he was tackled by someone from behind him. Bob panicked and began trying to move away and recuperate. “What the-” he exclaimed. Then, he felt as if that person was standing utop him. He was pinned to the ground and looked up behind him, to see someone in greenish clothing, indeed standing on top of him. They appeared content, almost triumphant, with a wide smile on their face. 

“I have conquered the fabled hero of the ages, Sir Octavian Somethingoranother! Wahahahaha!” They said mockingly. Then they looked down on him. “If you’re trying to impersonate someone great, maybe try to not look as if you’ve just seen a ghost.” Bob felt utterly humiliated by a stranger. 

“I overheard your conversation with the genie, and I must say I never thought I’d see the day. My name’s Lilaith, and I’ve been sent to assist you in your acquisition of that glass of milk, no matter how delusional the task may seem.” Then, he felt something else on his leg. Something round and heavy brushed by it, and it struck fear into Bob. He had a fear of snakes, and instantly whipped his head around. So much was happening in such a short span of time, he thought he’d pass out. Lilaith was monologuing, a snake was about to kill him, there was someone in the bushes probably about to kill him and his dinner was most likely burning, which was most troubling. In fact, he did pass out.

Bob awoke once more to a thunderous noise. This time, however, it was Lilaith’s snoring that did the job. Bob just looked at her, unsure as to why she was still here. It was at this time that he noticed that she had a long scaly green tail. His eyes widened. Long ago, the Eastern Emerald Dragon had an issue with a married couple. The husband repeatedly killed the dragon’s offspring for sport, and had sold the carcasses for high prices. On his last trip up to the dragon’s den, he had brought along his wife, to show off his skill. The wife had a deep hatred for all dragons, so she wanted to see her husband’s work first-hand. That day, the dragon had stayed in the den to protect the eggs. When the two made it to the top, the dragon permanently cursed the two on sight. He had said to them: “Both of you will pay. You desecrated my young, and I shall make certain you do not forget your crimes. You shall see resemblance to me in your own young, to forever be a reminder to your family that such a corrupt act will never be forgiven. Now go! Leave this place and do not return, lest both of you die a horrible, grisly death.” 

Bob remembered hearing rumours that there was a final descendant of the couple’s lineage, but that they had not been seen in a long time. That must be her, He thought, noticing her two dark, purple horns curling upwards and backwards. Even the visible parts of her legs appeared partially human, with regular skin eventually turning to shiny green scales. She’s got a magic staff, too. Lilaith began waking up. This consisted of a loud, wide yawn accompanied by her flopping on the floor, groggily sighing. 

Do I really need to go get that stupid glass of milk now? Bob asked himself. He took a moment to consider his options. Lilaith got to her feet after some struggling. “Alrighty, we gotta-” She yawned again. “...gotta get ready to leave.” Bob stood up and walked over to his stone disc, where his unfinished food still sat from the night before. Both the stone and the fish were cold. Bob hesitated at first, but took a bite of it. It wasn’t bad, but was tougher than he had hoped. “Why are you here?” He inquired. 

“I already told you, I was ordered to wait around the marketplace until I heard about someone trying to find a bottle of milk, and then I'd have to help them. I heard you talking with that genie and followed you here.”

Bob was hoping to hear a different answer.

“Alrighty, let’s get this over with then.” Bob offered her some of the fish, but she declined. After a bit of packing, the two set off. Upon leaving, Bob noticed that the shape in the shrubs last night was simply another thicker, denser shrub he had not noticed before. They stopped in downtown Quasigate to purchase some food for the way. 

Hours passed as the two continued hiking through valleys and alongside rivers, but nothing major happened. As Bob reached a shady tree, he stopped under it and flopped to the ground, exhausted. Lilaith caught up with him, she sat down in the shade as well. She, however, did not look the least bit tired. 

“How aren’t you the least bit fazed by 6 miles in the mountains? Don’t tell me you’ve got wings too,” he said breathlessly. She pointed to her staff, which Bob now noticed. He sighed. Then, she picked it up and pointed it at him. He stared at it, the deep purple orb in the center emanating a cooling and refreshing energy, which nearly instantly revitalized him. He felt a little bit scared, knowing that all that power could turn on him at a moment’s notice. When they began walking, Bob noticed another portal atop a mountain to his right side. It was similar to the portal that the short red man had exited before all of this began. He stood before it, staring at the two. Bob stared back, wanting to yell something at him, but he didn’t. The two just kept walking. Throughout the final kilometers to Serith, the red man had appeared time and time again, with his two stubby legs entering and exiting the portal each time. 

What is he up to? Bob thought, but he didn’t have the slightest idea. 

The city of Serith had massive walls reaching nearly 10 meters in height to keep out any monsters from the area. Bob and Lilaith walked past the two guards at the castle gate and into the city. The part of the city where they stood was the lowest part, as the rest of it stretched up the hillside and surrounding mountains. The buildings and walkways were made of cobblestone, though there were patches of grass here and there. It appeared to be built similarly to Quasigate, though on an overall smaller scale. 

“I’ll ask a guard about the guy with the milk and hat. I hope that’ll make it easier on the both of us.” Bob said as he began walking back to the entrance. 

The guard on his right looked back at him first. “Greetings, what can I assist you with?”

Bob was taken aback by his pleasantness. \

“I’m looking for a man with…” He trailed off, realizing how vague his description of the man was. “I’m looking for a man wearing a top hat, possibly with a bottle or a glass of milk inside of it.”

Both guards looked at each other in amusement. 

“I… I think I know who you’re talking about. He’s a crazy old coot, that one. I’ll take you to his cottage, if you’d like.” He nodded to the other guard, who continued to keep watch outside the city wall. 

The guard led them through the city due north. Hiking up the mountain road to the cottage proved to be a difficult task, especially after the long hike to Serith itself. The guard, who introduced himself as Filbert, was not fazed at all by this climb. Bob could tell that he had lived here all his life. Bob thanked the man and knocked on the door.

A strained voice answered “Identify yourself!” 

“My name is Sir Octavian Somethingoranother, and I am here to speak with you about the glass of milk you have under your hat. If you do not hand it over at once, you shall be struck by lightning on the seventh day after you step foot out of this household.” At this point, Bob was making things up, trying to get the milk as fast as possible. The door cracked open to reveal one mangled hairdo partially covering the face of a very old man. He then spoke to Bob:

“I-I-I-I hear ya gonna do some majick on me, mister Somethingoranother? You’re-you’re gonna take my milk and then hooooooo boy you’re gonna take it and use it yourself to save th’ world from evil people and the man behind the slaughter, aren’tcha?” 

This man was indeed a bit crazy, but Bob simply nodded. Lilaith, partially hidden behind Bob, said something that made her staff glow blue and stop talking. The man then took off his hat and handed him a glass of milk. 

This is really what I am doing right now, he thought to himself. 

“Well, uh, thank you kind sir.” Bob cleared his throat and said in a pompous tone, “You shall be spared for now. Continue doing kind deeds towards others, and you may live a life full of prosperity.” 

Bob closed the door before anything else could be said. 

“We got it, and it didn’t take way too long either. Now let’s go back quickly.” Bob said to Lilaith.

“Why? We might as well grab some food from here, they probably have something we don’t have back in Quasigate.” She was clearly hungry, but Bob didn’t like the look the red man gave him when he was following him to Serith. 

“Fine, we’ll grab a bite to eat and head back. I don’t want to get there after dusk. The market in Serith was quite similar to that of Quasigate, but it had a few items that the locals around here specialized in preparing. High mountain rice was one specialty, and Bob ordered one for himself. Lilaith got hers for free, after a short wave of her staff. He felt a little bit bad for the victim of her spell, but she apparently did not expect to have to purchase anything and as such did not bring her coin sack. As the two began to venture out of the market, the red man appeared beside them unexpectedly, and swiftly said to Bob:

“You almost ran out of time, I had to find you before he...did anything to us. Thanks or whatever for acquiring the milk, your job’s done.” The red man tossed Bob a bag of sorts and sprinted off through the crowd, most likely back to a portal. Bob and lilaith stood in silence, dumbfounded. Bob opened the bag to see what was inside. It was a paper that read: ‘Until next time’.

End