Raining Petals







(Emily)

The dim light shines upon his hair as we lay atop the bed.  His head resting lightly on my chest, the rain tapping softly against our roof, and my heart humming in tune with his.  It is our perfect setting.  No distractions, no obnoxious noises, just the music of nature and wrapped in one anothers arms.

His fingers dance along the skin f my hand, making shapes I can barely recognize, as I lay there with my racing mind.  I can feel my face contort into confusion from my own thoughts, but he does not see through the distractions of the shapes he is making.  I wish I could him, but I won't.

I pull the blankets over us higher and higher up due to the cold and my hand intertwines with his free one.  His skin is soft like velvet and he smells of Irish Springs and something else I have not been able to place in five years of knowing him, it is a unique aroma that I love.  His fingers are skilled in a way mine are not and are used to make beautiful pieces of art, and to make my body ache for him after every touch.

The necklace he made me gleamed against my throat and he is asleep.  I must not have noticed his light breathing.  I gently lift his head onto the pillow beside me and go into the kitchen.  My legs are bare from the not long enough over-sized t-shirt.  The tile floor is cold as ice but feels nice due to the beds warmth.  I needed to figure out a way to tell him before he found out for himself.

I turned to the refrigerator and opened it, but my fridge was practically a barren wasteland.  I took out the apple juice, mayonnaise, and bologna  as I grab the bread from on top of the appliance, I grab a knife from the drawer as well.  I make my sandwich and sit on the couch, grabbing my book from the side table, it's the book "Whithering Heights"  I've read it a million times but it is always a good read for when the sun is about to rise.

I look up from the book and out my living room window.  The sky is a gray-blue with streaks of white and the skies are still crying out the rain.  I stand slowly and walk over and open the window.  I inhale the sweet scent of the raiin deeply into my lungs and feel as if I am outside.  Two strong arms wrapped around my waist and soft, gentle lips touch my neck and down my shoulder as if I was this fragile breakable piece of glass.

Behind my eyes I want to see the man that lies in my bed and that makes amazing love to me.  But instead I see a different face, one that I did not expect.  I shudder as tears brim my eyes and fall slowly down my face, maybe I was more fragile than I had thought.  He turns me to him but I do not dare to look at him.  I made one mistake and it was goingt o haunt me until I told him.

Gentle fingers wiped away one of the tears, "Open your eyes, please Em."  I looked at him and automatically felt guilty for what was about to happen.  "Why are you crying?" he asked, searching my eyes as if he was trying to find the key to unlock my pandora's box of secrets.  But the key was about to be found by me and my secret was about to be revealed.

He took my face in between his hands, "What is it?" he asked.  I put on a small smile, "Nothing" I said.  "Just emotional this morning" he kissed my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart hurt.  He pulled me close to him, his heart beat like an in tune drum, it was a comforting rhythm.  We started to sway to the music of the rain combined with out hear beats, my head lay against his chest and I felt he wooden floors creak under our feet.  I breathed in the scent of him, it was startling how familiar it felt, and comforting.  I looked up at him, and gave a genuine smile this time.  He smiled back at me, his hazel-green eyes shining.

Whether it was from love or not?  That I did not know.  He has never said that he had loved me, all he has said is that he has cared about me more than any other girl, and from the knowledge of his past that I possessed I had accepted that.  I loved him, but if I loved him why had I done that unspeakable thing?  What did I go out when I had had the suspicion something may go wrong?

"I am going to take a shower and get ready for work, but before I go why don't we go out to breakfast?" he kissed my cheek and headed to the room to get his clothes and a towel.  I started at the empty space where he had once stood, and sat back down on the couch until I head the door to the bathroom shut and the water running from the faucet.  I went into my room and started to get ready.






(James)

I felt the warm water comfort my body as my head rested against the tile wall.  Something was wrong with her, I could feel it, just what exactly was it?  She looked so ashamed, like she had when we first had sex without her parents' permission.  SHe had done something but I wasn't about to push it out of her.  She barely had secrets from me so she would tell me on her own.

I lavished my body with the Irish Spring body soap I always used.  Whether is was here at her house or at my own, she always made sure it was stocked up here.  I thought about her, how we had been together for the last five years, how much we had gone through.  She was 14 and I was 18 when we had first started dating, and had stuck to me like glue ever since.  Yes, I will admit it, it was not what I had wanted at that time, and still wasn't until about a year ago.  Yes, we had been going steady for two years, but it took me until last year to realize it.

I would never tell her I loved her, due to the fact that I do not know if I will ever leave.  She thinks I will be around forever but even I cannot guarantee that.  All I know is that I have never cared about anyone the way I care about Emily and the last thing I want to do is shatter her heart.  Again.  I turned off the water after rinsing off the soap, and wrapped a towel around my waist.

I cleaned off the steam from the mirror, and put shaving cream on my face.  The razor glided along my face, and I rinsed my face off.  I slipped on my boxers and black jeans and walked into the hallway from the bathroom and looked into her bedroom.  She was slipped on her favorite earrings, ones her grandmother had made, and the necklace I bought her, it was a cross with little gems in the middle that I had gotten her at a museum, hung loosely nestled between her breasts.

she stood up and examined herself in the mirror, she looked beautiful, though she never believes me when I tell her so.  The blue leopard print dress fit her perfectly, and went well the black hair tie that pulled her hair back tightly, her hair was a soft dark red, and made her look older than 19.  SHe was about to be surprised at breakfast.  She was finally going to meet my dad, a jerk as he was she wanted to meet him.  I think it was important to her because she wanted to see why I was cautious about whom I trusted.

"You look great Em, it's just breakfast."  I rolled my eyes and chuckled as she fiddled with the straps of her heels.  "I know" she said, "But I still want to look nice for you."  I walked into the room and kneeled in front of her, my forest green shirt was unbuttoned, and it looked like she was enjoying the view.  Good distraction my "God-like" body was I laughed to myself.  "Don't be ridiculous Emily, you are beautiful"  I kissed the top of her head when I stood.  I buttoned my shirt, and put on my boots and out to Black Bear Diner we went.  She held my hand the whole car ride, and didn't even act crazy when I put on the rock station she loved.

She had her guard up, I was more observant than she gave me credit for.  We pulled into the parking lot and I spotted my dads'  black SUV right away, but I didn't point it out to Emily.  I puled my silver Malibu in next to it and parked and Emily didn't move.  She just stared out at the bleak sky, probably lost in her own creative imagination.  "Em?" she shook herself free of her thoughts and smiled.  "I am fine, let's go."  We got out and I grabbed her hand as we walked in to meet a man I couldn't stand and introduce him to meet the most important woman in my life.







(Emily)

My breathing had been shallow, I couldn't believe it.  It was not difficult to notice James' father.  They had the same face shape, the same colored eyes, he was definitely his father.  "Umm... James?  What is going on?" I asked.  All he did was smile his wicked, mischievous, yet charming smile, and we walked in to join his father.

He stood and James and his dad shook hands.  "And who is this fine young lady?" he asked.  "Dad" James said "This is Emily, my girlfriend that I told you about."  I shook James' dads'  out-stretched hand and we sat down at the four seater table he had saved for us.  "Can I start you folks off with some drinks? Coffee, soda, orange juice, tea?" The waitress had brown hair, she was tall and skinny and gave James a smile I did not like.

"I'll have tea."  James said.  "Juice for me please" said his father, and all I said was Coke.  The waitress was pretty, and skinny, two things I was not.  I hated when my jealousy kicked in.  "Well Emily," his father began "My son has told me a lot about you, I heard you were going into an interpreting career?" "Yes sir" I stammered, "I'm interpreting American Sign Language at the school I attend on an internship."  He looked impressed enough but I could not be sure, he was like James in that way.

With these men you can never tell whether or not what they are saying is the truth.  "Well, that sounds intriguing" was all he said.  James and his dad continued making small talk about James' brother, Derek, and about James' schooling.  I excused myself to the restroom, feeling sick.  He had gone through this trouble for me to meet his father and I still hadn't come clean about the sin I had committed.

I wetted a paper towel and lain it against my neck, letting is cool down my body's temperature.  What was I to do?  I could not tell James now, I love him too much to loose him and had worked too hard to keep him.  I painted the smile back on my face and exited the ladies' room, and sat and the man I was madly in love with.

"Excuse me, but I must get going."  I lifted my purse off of the booth seat and James looked at me, eyes torn with confusion.  "We must do this again soon" and I shook Brandon's hand and hurried towards the door while James' footsteps echoed behind me.  He shouldn't be chasing me, I thought to myself, I am not good for him, why didn't I leave him to be happy when I had the chance?  I stood out in the rain, the drops of water mixing perfectly with my tears.

My hairs' curls fell out of place and flattened as I pulled out the rubber band that held my hair back.  My head hung low in shame and I knew James was looking at me though the paw-printed window of the diner standing still behind me.  A taxi pulled in front of me and I got in.  How God knew I needed to leave this place, I had no idea but I was not about to question it.  The inside was warm and a deep velvet voice asked "Where to?" "1258 Mulberry Road" and watched myself leave him.

I knocked on the door, hoping that she would answer.  The wind picked up and the goodbumps rose on my arms even more.  Come on Cic, answer.  I knock on the door once again and Chris, Cicely's boyfriend answered.  He was one of my good friends as well, so when he saw me he pulled me close, as if an older brother would do.  "What happened Emmy?" he asked.  Why he called me Emmy I had no idea, but today it was comforting.  "James"  I blubbered.  "I hurt him.  I am such an idiot."  All I could do was cry into his chest, and Cicely came in rubbing my back.  "Come on girl" was all she said, and we walked into their living room.






(James)

I stared into the empty space where Emily had gotten in the cab, and had pulled away.  Why was she doing this?  What was happening?  "What was all that about?" my dad asked, "I think one of her friends is having an issue"  I shrugged nonchalantly.  My dad shook his head, "Women." and rolled his eyes.  I nodded in agreement.  "So are you still doing the pharmacy program?" Mu dad asked as my chicken friend steak platter appeared in front of me.

"Mhm" was all I said.  A few moments of silence passed as we ate.  My father was stuffing his face with pancakes, and I was hardly touching my scrambled eggs.  "She is a keeper James, don't be stupid" my dad whispered.  I looked at him in astonishment.  "I... Thank you for that dad, it means a lot."  All he did was smile and continue eating.  "But you know," I should have known it was going to include a "but".  "Know what?" I asked him.  "Our waitress was pretty good-looking too" he gave a mischievous smile.  I groaned internally, my father never kept his off of the women.  I suppose I get that from him.  And I would agree that she did look my type, she had jet black hair, and bring red layers underneath.  What can I say?  I have a thing for redheads.

She had a pretty face, almost as pale as my own, with chocolate brown eyes.  I spotter a spiderweb tattoo on her left wrists, and when she caught me practically staring at her she gave me a flirtatious smile.  I hope that when I smiled back it wasn't flirtatious.  "Yeah she's good-looking, but she isn't Emily" my dad shrugged.  "If you say so."

We finished our meal and received the check.  An annoyed look passed over me, and it wasn't the price that was bugging me.  My dad chuckled "What has got you mad?" and he snatched the check from me before I could react.  "Woo-hoo, that's my boy!" The waitress' number was written at the bottom of the check.  Hm.  Maybe my smile was flirty.  I am a flirt after all, just never a serious one.

"That's immature" I thought to myself.  She had seen me walk in with Emily, she had seen us holding hands.  This waitress was going to be a hard one to get rid of.  My father and I walked over to the counter to pay, and I said that I would take care of it, and that he should get home.  He agreed to it, and I watched him walk out of the restaurant door.  I waiting at the counter for the waitress to come and collect my payment for the food that my girlfriend, father and I had gladly had eaten.

"Did you enjoy your meal?" asked the waitress as she walked up.  "Yes" I replied.  "It was delicious, please give my compliments to the chef" she smiled and again, it was flirty.  As she took the check and looked it over, her mouth dropped to the floor.  She apparently was not used to rejection.  I hid her good-bye and left to go after the woman I loved.