Did that just happen, did I just tried to kiss him yesterday and he simply said , you are my pal…Or is it a dream, I hope it is a dream, a nightmare, but unfortunately it is not a dream. This happened and I accepted it, we continued the movie, and laughed when we had to laugh and cried when we had to.
I don’t know if I had forgotten about my feelings toward him, about the emotions that I had, the promises I made to myself, that one day I'll tell him and if he says no, I'll leave and never come back. But I can't do that, it'll be as if I lost a body part, he is the best person in my life and I am not going to say friend. But if he wants us to be that way, and still has a hard time accepting me as someone closer than a friend, then I'll wait. I'll wait till he realizes; I am not just a friend.
I went out of bed, into the bathroom washed my face, brush my teeth, wore something casual but nice, he had just invited me to lunch, my supposedly best friend / more. Today I won't try hard to be more than a friend, I tried that yesterday and it failed; well I am going to try a new technique. I am going to be just a friend no more staring ,or admiring everything he says, or even agreeing with him when I think he is saying something wrong, today I am going to show him what just friends mean, let him want more…
Ring ring… the bell rang, it was him , I didn’t rush as usual , I didn’t even care if he had to wait a while, it took me five minutes to realize it was about time to go down, so I went out of my room and went down the stairs, to see him waiting. And as I reached he smiled approached me and gave me a kiss by the cheek, and said "hello, you look good, let's go". Today, today you compliment me about my outfit, the day I didn’t even bother to look at the mirror before I leave the room uhh.
We started walking, suddenly his hand fell into mine, and I had a rush, a rush of electricity, he felt it, he felt how I feel about him when he touches Me. when his skin touches mine, even though I try so hard to hide my feelings I can't, I am in love with him, I know it, he knows it but he doesn’t admit it.
He took my hand and we crossed the street, we crossed it as friends but I know that if someone sees us he will think we are not just friends, well that brought a smile to my face. When we crossed the street, he didn’t remove his hand, he kept on holding tight, did he finally realize that he loves me, or did he just forget his hand in mine.
Well I guess none, he said "your hands are warm, I am so cold", my hands are warm because you are so close to me, because I am blushing you fool I wanted to tell him but instead I simply smiled. Smiled, that's what I am good at, smiling, and right now I am smiling….
We reached the diner, he said "I know it is early for lunch, but it doesn’t matter right", I was lost in his eyes at this moment, I didn’t hear what he said so I smiled, and I think he took that as a yes.
We entered the diner, and he had already booked a table we directly went there, it was the first time I entered this place, maybe it is new. I guess not it is just matt never went there, so I never went there, how shallow.
"so what do you think about the place", he asked me, I looked at him, not smiling this time and said "it's good", suddenly someone entered to the diner I turned to look , to show him I'll no longer sit through out lunch gazing through his eyes. It was jasper, jasper from biology, he saw me looking at him, and so he walked toward the table. I smiled at him; he said "hello, it is Lori right?" I smiled back and said "yes it is, so what are you doing here alone, care to join". He said "no, I won't want to interrupt you guys", I smiled and said "no, this is nothing, it is just a friends talk, common have a seat, right matt'" I looked at him; he said yes and didn’t seem bothered by it. Jasper sat next to me and we started talking, it seemed that his father owned the place, and he ended up inviting us for lunch not my beloved matt.
The next day:
I met jasper in biology; he came and sat next to me, matt was late today, so when he entered class, he saw jasper next to me, he said good morning, and went and sat in the back. He didn’t seem a little bit jealous, or anxious, or I don’t know what, but he had no feelings toward this.
When the day was over matt and I was going home, suddenly jasper came and said "Lori I don’t know how to say that, but would like us to go and have dinner on Saturday, you and me". I couldn’t say yes, and stay in love with matt, but if I say no he'll think I am not over him and he'll think I am still totally into him which I was. But I had to make him jealous somehow so I said "it'll be my pleasure". Jasper was so glad, he was so happy jumping from joy.
We continued walking home and when I was about to enter my house matt said "Lori, are you really going to go on that date with him", I smiled and said "well yeah, do you mind?" he said "no not at all, I am so glad you find someone"
I struggled to keep my smile, and when I entered the house and went to my room, I burst in tears; I thought he'd be jealous, he'd have some kind of weird feeling but instead he is smiling and saying that he is glad. Now I have to go on that date with jasper, pretending to like him when actually I don’t, and I know I won't get any result from matt. Not a single feeling of jealousy…
I thought maybe seeing me flirting with some boy from school, will make him jealous, feel something. But instead he was happy for me, and I was mad from him…..

That’s matt; I think I'll never get into his heart, never as more than a friend…

I had to go with jasper on the date, or else matt will sense I am not interested. And will know that I am just doing this to make him jealous, or at least try. I wore a pair of jeans and a normal shirt, held my bag and went to meet him at his diner.
As I entered the diner jasper rushed to meet me, he held my hand and lead me to the table he had booked , I smiled a fake smile that caused pain. When we sat down he didn’t call the waitress, the food simply came. Of course, it's his fathers' diner after all. He started talking, talking, and all I could here was blah blah blah…
Suddenly he said the name "matt", and I woke up, I woke up from my sleep. I woke up, and realized this man in front of me was not matt, this was jasper. He asked the question again, "how is matt?", I smiled and said "he is fine". He kept talking about him, talking about the person I should be with, the person I should be having dinner with; NOW.
I sighed and started thinking, what would have happened if matt and I was more than just friends, were more than just pals. Is it a mistake is there something wrong about it, or is it just forbidden?
Suddenly, I woke up again, I woke up from my dream. I woke up to realize one more time that jasper was my date not matt, that he was the one that is going to take me home. Give me the goodbye kiss, but I didn’t want this, I wanted matt. Unfortunately I couldn’t, jasper said "so are you done?" I smiled and said yes. He didn’t bother to pay the check, or even tell the waitress we are going, he simply took my hand and we left.
We walked home, as he was saying goodbye, he approached to kiss me. I stared at him for a while, look at him so desperate. Desperate to kiss me, his lips are all popped out, and his eyes are closed. When I tried to convince myself, and was about to kiss him, I said "jasper I am sorry, but this is not going to work".
He smiled, and shook his head then said "you are not into me, am I that bad?" I felt guilty, I felt wrong, and I had just broken his heart. I put my hand on his cheek and said "it is not that jasper, you are an amazing guy. But simply this wont work out, don’t feel bad about it. Please.". Jasper's hand fell on mine, and he then said "it is matt, right? I knew it, I knew it the moment I saw you together".
He was right, he was a hundred percent right, this is it the moment of the truth. The moment I'll tell him yes, I am in love with matt, but I couldn’t. I will break his heart and make him think I just used him which I did. So I said "no, matt and I are just friends, it is just I am not ready for a relationship. I am sorry". I could no longer feel sorry and guilty so I removed my hand and said bye then opened the house door and entered.
I rushed to my room and when I opened the door I saw matt. He was waiting for me; he was sitting in his usual place. I moved towards him slowly, and said hello. He smiled and said hello. He then stood up gave me a hug, and said "so how was your date, you seem upset…" I smiled and said "oh, well I didn’t kiss him goodbye". He nodded his head twice, sat on the bed, tapped his hand on his laps. I went and sat on his laps, he hugged me one more time, but this time more passionately. Not a normal friend hug, then he moved me from his laps and I sat on the bed.
He slowly approached me in my mind I thought, oh he finally sensed that he is in love, he is in love with me. He is going to kiss me, I repeated a thousand times. But then when he was inches away, and when I closed my eyes and was about to kiss him. His hand fell on my hair and he said "oh, there is a paper stuck in your hair, I was trying to remove".
When he said those words, when he said this was not a kiss it was as if someone has just stabbed me in the back. I stood up from the bed, and yelled "why? Why did you move so slowly? Why did your lips pop, if you didn’t want to kiss me? Look matt, I know how you feel so don’t deny it. This is enough torture, so if you want to torture me more leave and never come back". Those three last words were so hard to say but I had to say them. I had to say what I was feeling maybe he'll make some action. He was about to talk, he was about to say something but he stood up and left the room, left with out saying goodbye….
I looked from my window, and saw him. Saw him walking slowly head down, and suddenly he turned around….

He turned around, and walked slowly towards the porch of our house. I didn’t know what to say to him when I'll open the door, I didn’t know if he was coming back to apologize and say let us try one more time. Or will he come over and just rub it off in my face and say he doesn’t care about me.
I rubbed the tears of my eye and pretended to be strong. Before he could even knock on the door or ring the bell, I opened it to see him, standing…
Standing, head down and crying, for the first time, let him cry I said to myself. Let him feel my pain, at least just once let him cry, let him feel the torture. Let him suffer… just once…
He wiped the tears off his eyes, and raised his head to face mine. I looked at him, and so him for the first time this sad, for the first time I could feel him ache, for the first time I could see he was suffering, he was in pain. I looked into his eyes and all I could see was misery, his sparkling eyes that used to be filled with happiness are now filled with sorrow. Is it that hard for him to loose me, to loose my friendship/love….
He took a deep breath and said "Lori, it is hard to……." he took another breath and continued "it is hard to admit this, but …..". He stopped for a second, he stopped and couldn’t continue. He then held my hand, and I directly removed it, and said "you can't just come here and cry then I'll simply be all right, you hurt me and you should pay for every tear."
He then said "my heart says things I wish to do, it senses things I wish to feel, but I cant. Something is meant to be, and others are meant to not be. Loving you…" he paused, he paused after the word loving you, and my heart paused. He then continued and said "I couldn’t deny the love I had to you but I had to deny it, I felt a lot of things toward you that I shouldn’t have felt. I am sorry if that hurt you, but it hurt me more. Every fake smile I put on my face when you dated someone was more painful that dying, every single approach to kiss you but repelling caused pain. Everything that you thought was happiness was simply pain…"
This time, I had to talk to say something, to ask him a question, to ask for a reason so I said "WHY? Why did you do that? Why to have those feelings that would have made us both happy…, why?"
He said "for reasons, I shouldn’t tell. For reasons that kill me, for reasons I hate…" I looked at him and with power I said "what are the reasons, tell me!" Matt said "we have to talk inside, and alone".
I looked around us, and found out friends from school were around, neighbors were on the windows, and joggers simply not jogging. I opened the door, and entered he followed me. I went directly to my room, he entered. And said "cant we just end it here, without telling you the reasons, you know them already", now I couldn’t stand him. I knew nothing only a reason which I feel is not worth it, so I said "what reason, your dead girlfriend that caused agony. She is gone, she is dead, why kill me with her, why?"
After I said the world kill me with her, I felt matt have a flash back, he remembered something. Something painful, he was suffering suddenly he fell on the ground. I hurried towards him and sat on the ground, he held my hand and said "I killed her…"

"I killed her, I am the blame. I took her soul away and deprived her from the most important thing in life. I deprived her from living." I stood up and moved away from him, this angel that I fell in love with was no longer an angel he has never been one. He is a demon, a life talker, a person that kills but how and why I had to know. Out of curiosity I asked, "Why? And how did this happen?"
He stood up, approached me and said, "it just happened you don’t need to know why?", I looked at him and said "oh yes I need to know, why aren’t you in jail, why aren’t you dead? Why are you still here, you killed an innocent girl…"
He said,"I killed seventy years from now, so there is no purpose of putting me in jail…" There was a sudden hiatus in the room, no movements, no talking just the two of us staring at each other. Or actually just me staring at him in surprise, I yelled and said "stop lying to me, stop saying things that did not happen. Say the truth…"
He looked me straight in the eye and said "it is true, I've been for one hundred and fifty years, and I am still alive now…. I am real." I couldn’t catch my breath for a moment; I stood there trying to breathe in and out. I repeated his last words for millions of times in my head '150 years....' This can't be happening; I said to myself, there are no such things as immortals.
Not there aren’t, I said repeatedly. Matt held my hand, squeezed it and said "Lori, I am a vampire…"
Vampire, there are no such things as vampire, they are not real. They are creatures we created for movies and books, but they do not exist. I said, "There are no such things as vampires, they do not exist matt. They are in movies, and we hope sometimes that they exist because of the beauty we see them in. And sometimes we wish they are just movie characters because of the horror, they make us live. So don’t tell me you are vampire, because no matter what you do I won't believe it."
He smiled, sighed and said "I need you to believe me Lori, you are the only person I trust. And I need you to believe me. Ok". I could believe him but that will make me crazy, I needed to see a fact, so I said "prove it and I'll believe you."
He smiled one more time and said "that'll be easy." And suddenly I couldn’t feel my legs touching the ground, he held me tight and jumped from the window, I thought I would die that this is the end of lifetime but I was happy it was in his arms. But suddenly, I found myself on a tree; he put me on his back and started climbing on the tree. Just like in twilight, I remembered I had told him once that I wish someone could do this, and now his fulfilling my wish. In a split second we were kilometers away from him, and on the highest tree in the forest, we were together. He held my hand when he stopped and said "do you believe me now?"
I knew this was enough evidence, I knew he was a vampire so I simply asked him, "How did you kill her? How did it happen?" He sat down on the branch of the tree and I sat next to him and he said "it is a long story." I held his hand and said "I'd like to hear it."
He said, "Jen and I were in love in high school, she knew what I was and she accepted it. After high school, university we decided to get married and I would change her by then you know to a vampire. We got married, and I promised her that when we get married we will sleep together for the first time, so at our honey moon. We were standing, the moment I kissed her, the moment my lips fell on hers I tasted blood in her mouth. She might have bit her lips, and that drop of blood triggered everything. I lost control of myself, and from kissing her I sucked her blood and the bad thing about it is that she saw everything, she saw the way I attacked her. She saw the look on my face the look of an animal, and you know what she said before she died. She said those three words; she told me that she loved me. She said I LOVE YOU after what I did, after killing her."
I was in shock, that’s why he never approached me, and whenever I felt he was about to kiss me he moved back, he was scared that'll happen again. So I told him, "I know it hurts, but it happened. Try to forget about it, try to let it go and try to look at me and see that I love you. And we need to give it a try, and I promise you when I am by your side you'll never lose control."
He smiled and said "promise.", I nodded twice and said "I promise."
After I said two words, I saw him approach me slowly then seconds later I felt his lips on mine and he gave me a kiss of lifetime, he moved all my doubts of being just his friend. Now I am more…

Sitting with on the branch of the tree was the best thing I ever did in my whole life, just sitting admiring the moon. But now after knowing his real identity, I had some question some things I needed to know about Vampires. That night I didn’t break the silence of love and basically spent it admiring the moon and my vampire boyfriend.
I looked at my watch, it was twelve midnight and I am still sitting on the branch of the tree admiring the moon. I looked at matt and said, "I got to go home". He smiled and said "of course". Then suddenly I was flying, he held me tightly and jumped from tree to tree, my vampire boyfriend. I felt the wind strike my hair, and I loved it I loved it more than anything in my life. Not just the wind, but the whole idea me and my vampire boyfriend jumping from tree to tree, is this a dream or is it real?
We reached home in simply minutes but I felt as if it were years, when he placed me gently on the front porch he approached me one more time and kissed me. As his lips touched mine I felt a rush, a shiver, his lips were so cold. I liked it , a lot, he controlled the kiss he moved my lips up and down making me feel as if I've never been kissed. As if the past never existed, as if there was not going to be a future as if time has just stopped at this present moment, at the moment Matt has kissed me the real kiss.
After he kissed me he stared into my eyes and saw I wanted more, knew I was waiting for more, but he stopped. He held my hand, and said "it is enough for today, go rest and I'll be here tomorrow." As I entered the house my mom started yelling, but I wasn’t in the mood of answering any of her questions, nor listening to them. So I directly went upstairs to my room locked the door and stayed there.
I stood in front of the mirror, and tried to recall what had just happened, and I started laying them out in my mind as points. First, matt is a vampire. Second, he is my boyfriend. Third, he kissed me. Twice!
I couldn’t sleep that night, my soul wasn’t with me, it was flying it was out there in the forest. Still admiring the moon, admiring the moments I had just spent with matt on the branch. As if I was in wonderland…
Seven hours of sleep, or actually of dreaming. I woke up even before the alarm went on. I entered the toilet washed my face and realized what had happened yesterday was not just a dream, it was REAL. I washed my face more than once, brushed my teeth and got ready to school.
As I went out of the house door ready to go to school, matt stood in front of me. "Bonjur…" he said. I smiled and said,"French, wow impressive I didn’t know you knew French."
"Well, I learned it over the years I spent in France…" he said.
Now I get to know matt really, not the friend I had, but the vampire I kiss.

"matt" I said, and then suddenly he turned to face me and smiled. I took a breath and said, "do you drink human blood?". I felt his face crunch and then he said "well I do… but not directly from human, I steal from the blood bank for my mother and I…"
I was releifed to hear that he didn’t bite through people to feed his hunger, I was glad that none of my friends were in danger to be his meal. I was glad but I knew this was wrong question but I hand to ask him.
He held my hand, and said "lori , don’t worry ask anything you want you have the right to ask. Well if I knew you were a vampire and I am mortal I'll be flooding you with questions."
Those words made me relaxed but I knew I couldn’t directly ask questions so I moved slowly, and on the way home I said, "so is the whole sun thing true, cuz it seems so untrue…"
He started laughing and said, "well it is true but there are things that protect us, you see if I leave the house without this leaf" he placed his hand in his pocket and showed me a triangular green lead with white spots on, "I'll die."
I held the leaf tight in his hand and placed it in his pocket, he started laughing again and said "I won't die, I'll just get burned and when I get in a dark room everything will go away. But that’s of course if I stay only for a short time…"
I looked at him and said, "then don’t go out in the sun, don’t risk it because I cant risk loosing you". The moment I finished this sentence matt lifted me and held me like a baby and kissed me. Then he said, "then make sure you stay safe, because I cant risk loosing you."
Then he put me down took his phone from his pocket choose the song 'one time- justin beiber' , raised the volume and started singing. He stared circling me, singing and dancing in the middle of the street in front of everyone. It is actually the best thing anyone has done for me.

Days and days past and all we did was make love, and have fun. Days of pleasure, the best days of my life days I will never forget. But then I felt that this perfect life will not last something is going to spoil it, it was just a hunch I hope it is false.
While we were walking down the beach, I looked at matt and said, "so you are immortal."
He smiled and said yes, and then I asked him "how did it all happen, you and you mother it is kind of weird."
He said, "it is a long story." I said "I am ready to hear, go ahead I am so patient."
He then started and said, "It was years and years ago I am not going to tell you when so you won't fell gross. My mother and I were leaving Europe, France towards America for a new start. My mom had just got a divorce, and she wanted something new, fresh. We travelled through boat, since that was the fastest way in those days. We had our own cabin; we settled in and then went on deck to see the sea. We kept on walking, the ship was huge, till suddenly no one was around my mom started telling me all those stories about her past. We were having a good time, maybe the best ever and then suddenly while we were watching the sea and talking about how amazing our lives are going to be out here, we heard whispers. And the footsteps, someone was coming, mom thought a drunk person so she held my hand and we were heading to our cabin but he was not a person he was vampire, a hungry one. So he approached me and was about to bite me but then my mom told him not to, that he should kill her instead. But he said, "don’t worry your turn will come". So that is when she rushed to him and wanted to kill him but by that time he had already sucked my blood and then sucked hers. We lay on the deck bloodless, through the night till before dawn someone saw us, and she took us into her cabin. A vampire, she saw us dead so she transformed us, since we were just dead for hours it was applicable. She gave us her blood and we lived but not the life we had, since we were new to this thing we stayed with her servants not companions till finally we fled but after we tried to kill her she is still alive. And from then till now we try to keep a low profile because as any vampire, revenge is the best thing and most probably that is what she is searching for."
I couldn’t believe that someone was following matt; he is not safe so I said "she is still looking for you, but is she powerful…" He then said, "Don’t worry; I am safe now we all are."
He changed the subject and when we reached his house he invited me in to his room. As we sat there he started showing me pictures of him and his mother when they were in France, he seems so old but he isn’t.
We spent days and days discussing every single issue about vampires, till finally I got sick of the idea and we stopped mentioning it, and we simply had a normal relationship.

Five years later….
"I never thought this day will come" matt said as he walked toward me. I then looked at him and asked him, "what? What day?"
Matt walked towards me held my hand and talk me for a walk around our house, he then said "she is here, marilor is here."
I knew what he was talking about but I didn’t want to believe it, all the things we were trying to do to hide from her, everything we were doing to hide from her she found us. She found us, and now that means war. Matt kept walking and then he said, "she has been here for a week and she is trying to figure a way to get to me, so I was thinking you should go to your mom for a while."
"what? No I wont leave you, never." I said, he then told me "I cant risk loosing you, so you will go to your mom's for a while just till I try to compromise , or get rid of her…"
I had no choice, he wouldn’t give so I packed my bags and went to my mom telling her that matt has work out of the country as an excuse. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was thinking about matt. My husband , I was scared of loosing him , loosing someone I just found.
I took a sleeping pill to relax a bit.
I woke up and looked around me , and realized this is not my room. This is not my bed, where am I. I tried to move from bed but I couldn’t I was chained to the bed , I tried to yell but something was preventing me there was something in my mouth.
Suddenly the door opened and I heard footsteps, and there she was marilor just like how matt described her. Tall and beautiful , long blond hair with bright green eyes , amazing red lips and white glowing skin.
She looked at me and smiled and then she said, "hey, I am marilor you must be lori. I've heard a lot about you from your friend, jena. You are sweet." But then suddenly that smile turned upside down, she opened her mouth and her fangs came out and then a red rign appeared around her pupil. She approached me and said, "I want to kill you, suck your blood till you are dry like a statue. I want to make him cry, to make him experience hell while he is already dead. No one leaves me, no one tries to kill me. "
Then she moved back and she transformed into the beautiful girl and then she said, "but not now, I am not hungry…"

I sat in the bed thinking about all of those good moments I spent with matt, about the days we smiled. But then I realized they are over, in a couple of hours I'll be dead and then he'll die too maybe not literally but he will die emotionally that’s if he loves me.
Hours later, marilor entered the room and she started removing the chains she didn’t bother to use a key, she just broke them with her hand. She took me into a huge room, filled with mirrors and a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling. There was a chair in the middle, she placed me on it and then stood in front of me. She smiled and said, "He'll be here any minute and we will start."
Suddenly matt entered from the door and headed toward marilor he was about to hit her but she directly held him from his neck and squeezed it till he was blue. Then she threw him to the door. It took him a minute to stand up, and then she said, "No matt, we didn’t agree to do this. I called you so you can just witness the death of your wife not to interfere. I was shivering, not knowing what to do. I couldn’t a thing; I was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room with a vampire in front of me wanting to kill me.
Matt then stood and said, "Marilor don’t break my heart, I didn’t hurt you." She then walked toward me and started playing with my hair then she said, "You hurt me matt, when you left me on the floor without the crystal leaf minutes before dawn you hurt me. And I am not the one left behind; I leave people to die, so yes you hurt me. And I will hurt you more, unfortunately you won't be able to do a thing because if you try to interfere I'll be glad to kill you first then kill her. Both ways I will be happy so choose your life, or your death."
Matt walked towards her and said, "I have nothing to live for without her, and just to refresh your memory I am already dead, you can't kill me."
And then he ran toward her and threw her on the floor, the he pushed my chair to the end of the wall. She stood and said, "You made me angry…"
Then she headed toward him put him to the floor and started hitting him, she then approached his neck and with her fangs took a part of his neck off. She bit him till he couldn’t move I started crying, I had to do something but I couldn’t. When she was done, she removed the crystal leaf from his pocket and threw it to the floor. Then she started walking toward me, blood on her mouth and shirt. She then said, "Your turn sweet heart…"
I didn’t resist, I sat on the chair but I couldn’t allow her to kill me, to sink her teeth into my throat so I took a piece of the mirror and sliced open both my wrists. And suddenly everything seemed to fade away, I saw her in front of me saying "at least your dead, its mommy time."
I knew she was going to kill his mother, I knew that but now I couldn't do a thing. Suddenly everything seemed cold, and when my eyes were closing I felt matt move toward me and sink his teeth into my neck. He then said, "don’t worry everything will be okay…"