"Sam, break up with him!" my bestie, Jess yanked me back.

I stared at her like she just got possessed, why was she bringing this up now? We were at school and it certainly wasn't like her to run her mouth when no one asked.

   "Why?" I sucked in my cheeks, eyeing her up and down while waiting for a response.

 Jess let go of my arm and folded her hands, "I saw him..." she sighed deeply, was what she was gonna say so heavy?, "I saw him kissing Jane." she looked at me with the 'have you seen it now?' face.

   I just shrugged, "They were probably just joking," I replied, but even I doubted my words, why would someone that has a girl friend kiss another girl as a joke?

  Jess smacked her forehead, biting down on her lips, she cussed through clenched teeth, "You know he doesn't even like you!" she cried out, "you know that, you do." 

   Then I watched her tears flow, she was the one carrying my pain like it was hers. I trusted her- I want to trust her but I love Noah, he's my whole life.

  "No, you DON'T love him," Jess screamed out in frustration, "you think you do but you actually don't."

   I tried to talk some sense into her that she would never understand my feelings for him but she just walked out on me.

 Was this really the right choice I was making? 

Jess hadn't given me any clues about where Noah was but I knew his make out spot, under the bleachers of the basketball field. I slowly made my way there to see for myself but the only thing I saw was Noah sitting there alone, his white striped shirt full of lip stick marks,

  "Hey Noah," I approached him and tapped his shoulder.

Immediately recognizing my voice, he grunted and ignored me.

  "Hey," I said again. I was about to pet his hair when he retreated, finally looking at me,

  "Sam, let's break up." he said, flatly.

What? Was this guy a fool, why is he letting go of me? Shouldn't I be happy that I now have freedom. No, I'm sad. I let him do anything he wanted- kiss girls, date girls, even in my presence and now, he wants to dump me? Why? I gave him everything!

  "N-Noah," I reached to touch his shoulder which he allowed, "w-why?" my voice were shaking as I was at the verge of tears but I looked straight in his eye, I was desperate for his reason. 

   His response was cold and unremorseful, "You prolly know about Jane, right?" he asked, his brown eyes fixed on mine, "your bestie told you, didn't she?" he looked away, rolling his eyes briefly and back to mine, he huffed out a breath, "Me and Jane are a thing."

  I wasn't surprised, but this dude promised never to leave me, even as kids! He even gave me a wedding ring! He proposed to me last year! Why did he suddenly want to end things with me? Yes, he dated other girls or was his love for Jane stronger than his love for me? Wait, did he even love me?

  "Sam," he called my name, rising to his feet, "let's break up," he announced once again.

  "No Noah," I spring to my feet, "No!" I shout, my eyebrows joined together, trying to suppress the stinging of my eyes, "remember our last year visit to china?" I ask out of the blue, I wanted him to remember the special oath we made that day.

   "Yeah, China is a good country." was all he said. Was that the only thing that came to his mind? What about our fortune oath?

  "Look Sam, I know it may be tough for you but please don't over-complicate things." he placed his hand on my spongy afro, "one last hug?" he mumbled, spreading his arms out.

  Stupid me! I jumped into his arms, the tears finally coming. I squeezed him tight, I didn't want to let go, I'd be so lonely, why do I have to loose him now? I want him, no one should have him except me. Why? Why? Why?

  He pulled away and gave me one last smile before disappearing in a distance. It reminds me of the time we spent at the Eiffel Tower, he moved back to take a picture of me which he put on his wallpaper for weeks. Was that still his wallpaper? Who cares? We're over now..

   What do I do now? How do I take control of my life from here? My dad's money won't heal my pain, my mom's pendant won't absorb my pain like it always does. This was an internal pain- a shattered heart!

***

I jump on my bed and hug my pillow for comfort, I haven't told Jess yet about my break up with Noah. Her words about him not even loving me replayed in my head like it just happened seconds ago. 

   Maybe I should tell her, who knows? her psychiatric mom might have some tips on how to deal with a heartbreak. I reach into the pocket of my pajamas and pulled out my phone. Recent contacts: Jessie.

   I dial the number and she immediately picks.

"Uh.. Jess?" I said into the phone.

   Jess sounded upset, "hey Sam, what's up?"

I wanted to tell her immediately about my breakup but before that, why don't we talk before we jump into me, me, me.

 "You sound mad," I tell her, "What's wrong?"

"Sam, you left me at school when we agreed on going to my house immediately school ends!" she shrieked  in fury, "why?!"

  Why? Think brain, think! 

"I felt sick," I responded, it wasn't a lie, I did feel sick after being dumped, so sick I called my dad and he sent his personal assistant to drive me home.

 "Oh.." she calmed down, "I'm sorry I didn't know. What happened?" she asks,

  I love Jess so much, unlike my first bestie, Jane, who betrayed me to have her way with my boyfriend, Jess truly wants the best for me,

  "I broke up with Noah." I answered with it, "well, not broke up. dumped rather."

     "Oh.." she sounded sympathetic or should I say empathetic? she also went through the same thing as me with Noah's cousin, Joe. Maybe it just ran in the blood line.

  "I---"

She cut me off.

   "That's good news!" she squealed, "we should have a party to celebrate it!"

   I turned to lie on my other side, "I don't think--"

"No! Don't think, feel! You've finally been set free! Time to start a new chapter of your life and finally be YOU!

   I didn't know what to say, because I knew deep down Jess was right but I didn't want to easily let go of Noah, so with a half smile, I agree, "Yes."