Before entering, she picked a small blue hydrangea and pressed it against her nose to take in its tantalizing fragrance. Adelia slowly walked with tired, painful steps, as she had been using the same hips for eighty years, into Country Meadows, a small nursing home in the middle of Taylor, Nebraska. She ignored the feeling that settled in her stomach everytime she entered and waved to the bright, young nurse sitting at the front desk. She glanced behind her at the crowded cork board filled with flyers about upcoming events trying to get those who visited the nursing home to not feel so terrible about the thousands they payed for their loved ones’ care. The arbitrary Christmas decorations and perfectly-folded homemade quilts gave the sense of a forced home. She continued walking until she got to a blue door labelled, “Henry Louise,” her husband’s room. She briefly looked at the child-made, paper decoration on his door before lightly tapping with her knuckles and entering.

    Henry was sitting in his chair, his eyes fixed on the never-ending stream of black and white, Western dramas playing on the small television. She placed her hand on top of his and spoke gently to him about her day. “...and then later I’m going to head over to Lou’s to pick up eggs and mustard to make some more of those devilled eggs. Edna is having some of us ladies over to play bridge and said we don’t need to bring anything but we both know what she means by that.” He hadn’t looked up from the television since she entered the room but she had gotten quite used to speaking absentmindedly to herself. She took a small breath before going back into her stream of words, “...and Roberta apparently told everybody that she thought Ellie’s habit of overtipping was…”

    Once Adelia had finished giving Henry a detailed description of her day, she straightened his cardigan slightly, lightly pecked him on the cheek, and left the hydrangea on the night table beside him, before walking over to the door. Before leaving, she glanced back at him and sighed. His milky eyes were still locked on the screen ahead of him. He had not even recognized the presence of his dearly beloved in the room. She inhaled sharply and closed the door behind her. “Why do I even come if it only makes me feel more lonely and provides him with no comfort, only confusion?” she thought to herself. She slowly traipsed the hallways back to the lobby. A familiar coat caught her eye and a smile spread across her face when her eyes caught Theodore.

    “Theodore! How are you? How’s Elizabeth?” Adelia asked. Theodore replied, “She’s uh she’s not great. The doctors say she’s nearing the-,” He trailed off, his voice cracking. Adelia dropped her grin and replaced it with a concerned expression. She walked over to him and took his hand. He gave it light squeeze and was silent. She knew how hard it had been for him to cope with Elizabeth getting Alzheimer’s. It was hard for everybody. Watching the one you love most in the world become a mere shadow of the person they were before is no easy task. She herself had to endure it in her own way for the last three years. She had trouble listening to Henry tell her about all the pretty ladies he saw in the cafeteria. She even felt worse when his words angered her. How could she blame him? He didn’t choose to have this disease. He didn’t know how much it hurt her to hear him talk about these women. He didn’t even know he’s married to her.

    Theodore lifted his head and gave a sad smile. He said, “I’m sorry to plague you. You shouldn’t worry about me. How’s Henry? How are you?” She replied, “He’s-,” but her answer was cut off short by one of the nurses. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but it’s Elizabeth. You need to come now.” Theodore hurriedly followed the nurse to Elizabeth’s room with Adelia close behind. She didn’t enter with him as she felt it was not her position to.

    Adelia waited for Theodore to come out. The nurses passed her, exiting the room. “What’s happening?” she asked. One sadly responded, “Elizabeth is about to pass. She’s near the end.” Adelia covered her face, giving no reply. She knew how much Theodore loved his wife. She had no idea how he was going to deal with Elizabeth’s passing. She sat outside the room with her head against the wall, listening to passing residents, nurses, and guests go on with their normal chatter, oblivious to the tragedy occurring not thirty feet from them.

An hour later, Theodore slowly dragged himself out of the room. Adelia looked up at him, a question waiting expectantly in her eyes. Theodore managed to give a shake of his head before collapsing against the wall. He made no sound, didn’t cry one tear, didn’t make a single motion. She put her hand on his and just sat with him. She knew nothing she could say could help him right now. Neither of them made a sound and they sat there silently. Nurses and residents passed with sad and sympathetic looks on their faces.

They remain like that until a nurse came over and helped them both up. Adelia asked, “What would you like to do? Do you want to stay here? Do you want me to drive you home? I’ll do anything you just say the word.” Theodore remained silent for several moments before quietly murmuring, “Please take me home.” Her heart dropped. She had never heard his, nay, anybody’s voice sound so small and so full of grief. She drove him home in complete silence. He whispered a silent, “Thank you,” before entering his home.

    Weeks passed before Adelia saw Theodore again. When she spotted him in the grocery store, she had to take a double look to make sure it really was him. His eyes looked sunken, his walk slightly slower, and his expression pained. She walked closer, calling his name. He turned his head and a smile spread across his face, “Adelia! So good to see you! How are you? How’s Henry?” She lightly smiled, hiding the pain in her eyes and replied, “So nice to see you too! I’m doing well.” She had to check herself before asking how Elizabeth was. She ignored his question about Henry not wanting to plague him with her grief. Theodore noticed and raised an eyebrow. She didn’t say a word and kept the practiced smile plastered to her face. He knew her too well to be fooled by her staged expression and instead asked, “Will you let me take you out for a coffee?” She nodded her head and they left without another word.

    It only took a minute of his concerned head tilting before she spilt about Henry’s death. “It’s just so hard. In the last moments, I couldn’t even comfort him because he didn’t know who I was. I just didn’t know what to do. I felt so useless.” Theodore gave a sympathetic nod and placed his hand on top of her’s. “Why didn’t you tell me? You were a lifesaver for me. The least I could have done was be there for you as well.” She quickly responded, “I knew you were visiting your sister in Wichita and you were still grieving for Elizabeth and I refused to burden you with my troubles on top of that.” They continued speaking about it for a few moments until Theodore commented, “We need to be there for each other. We both have no spouses and no children. We need to support each other.” Adelia agreed and they sipped on their coffees and talked about lighter matters.

    They made their coffee visit a daily ritual and both looked forward to it. Theodore and Adelia started going to church together, picking up their groceries together, attending weddings, funerals, and events with each other. Support each other they did and they both found each other’s presence quite comforting. They often spoke of the hardships of losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s. “The worst part is when you greet them and instead of seeing love cross their face, you see confusion,” Theodore commented. Adelia agreed, “There’s no way to help them. It’s such a useless, worthless feeling.” She felt the familiar feeling of her eyes brimming with tears. “Hey hey hey,” he comforted her, “you are not worthless. You are an amazing woman who I am glad to have in my life. You have impacted me in so many ways and I am incredibly thankful for you.” Her eyes filled with tears for a different reason.

    Everyday they met in the morning and found small tasks to fill their day with. The entire day was comprised of the other’s presence. When the night fell, they bid their farewells often accompanied with a gentle hug and peck on the cheek. They found their adapted worlds comfortable and both felt like this is what they had been doing for years. They grew used to each other and became the other’s habit.

    Weeks passed while they continued with their daily rituals. They were never apart for more than a night. One evening while they sat on the loveseat watching the news, Theodore confessed, “You have given my life new meaning. I used to have trouble waking up every morning and facing the day, but now I do it with vigor.” Adelia agreed, “You have done the same to mine. You mean so much to me and I never thought I would fall in love all over again.” “I feel the same way about you. I love you lots,” Theodore replied. They continued watching the news but with noticeably more interest and enthusiasm.

    The next few months were full of love and laughter. Adelia and Theodore adored each other and both showed it in their unique ways. For Adelia, this included surprising him with homemade pies and hand-picked hydrangeas. Theodore showed his affection for her by cleaning her gutters and cutting out articles in the newspaper he knew she would like.

One day, coming home from Mass, he pulled into the gas station near her home. He pulled out the keys of the car and sat there. Adelia turned to him, “Theo? What are we doing? Theo?” she implored again. He turned to her with a blank look on his face. She repeated his name again and again until finally he apologized and put the keys back into the ignition. “My apologies, I thought I needed something here.” She ignored the mistake and they continued their normal chit-chat for the duration of the car ride.

The next day, Theodore excused himself to go to the bathroom and a few minutes later called for Adelia to come in. She rushed in, having not the slightest clue what he could need. She found him facing the window with his back to the door. “Theo? What’s wrong? Theo?” “I-I-I’m stuck. I can’t get out. You have to help me.” She ignored the too-familiar feeling in her stomach and placed her left hand on his back and her right hand on his hand and gently turned him around to face the door. “There you go. You’re not stuck anymore.” He walked out without a thank you. She stayed there for a moment reminded of Henry, watching him go until she joined him in the foyer. She went on as if she didn’t have a weight in her stomach and a pain in her chest.

The symptoms got worse. Theodore started getting lost on his way to the pharmacy and forgetting major parts of his day. Adelia tried her best to take care of him and always keep an eye on him but she knew she was failing. She would find him trying to move the fridge into the basement or attempting to dismantle the television. When she asked why he was doing these things, he wouldn’t have an answer or would simply stare blankly at her. She would get calls in the middle of the night from strangers asking her to come pick him up from whatever place he had driven to for no reason.

Adelia couldn’t deny it any longer. She was no longer fit to take care of Theodore. She knew he was going to have to stay in a nursing home. She entered him into Country Meadows with tears in her eyes and a heavy heart. She explained to him, “I’m not giving up on you or leaving you. I will be here for you everyday because I love you and will never stop.” She couldn’t continue speaking for her voice was no longer steady. She put her face into his shoulder for a moment before raising her eyes to meet his. He smiled at her but it wasn’t the same. The old Theodore, HER Theodore, the one she gave hydrangeas to, read the newspaper to, gossiped about her friends to, made pies for, the one who comforted her, cleaned for her was gone. He was replaced with a stranger who she no longer recognized. But worse, he no longer recognized her, just as Henry hadn’t.

    Everyday, she would drive to Country Meadows with a fist full of hydrangeas only to be greeted by a blank face. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, hold a conversation with her. He couldn’t make her feel loved or make her feel useful. She fell back into the familiar feeling of being worthless. She knew visiting him provided him with no comfort so her visits occurred farther and farther apart until they stopped occurring at all. In fact, she started missing Bridge Club and not attending Mass. Adelia felt as if she had no reason to leave so she stayed home all day, everyday.

After a few weeks where no one had seen or heard from her, someone was sent to go check up on her. Instead of being greeted by a fresh pie and a cheery smile, the poor man sent to check on her was met with a terrible stench and even worse sight. Adelia May Louise of Taylor, Nebraska, was found on her bed next to a small orange container of blood pressure pills. Laying on the bedside table next to her was a piece of lined paper which had scrawled across it, “I cannot bear losing another to such a terrible demon. I have no reason to go on. I am useless. Worthless. I have loved and been loved and for that I am so thankful. But my time here on this in Earth has come to an end. With sorrow and love, Adelia.”

When word about Adelia’s death had reached the nurses of Country Meadows, they didn’t know if they should tell Theodore or not. One nurse, arguing that he had the right to know,  sadly entered his room with the terrible news. She sat next to him and explained that Adelia had passed away, but did not explain how, in fear of upsetting him further. She was met with a blank reaction. Theodore stared at her and the nurse considered if he even knew who she was talking about.

He rose from his rocking chair and walked past her out the door without saying a word. She followed him and walked quietly behind him. The other residents and nurses watched with an anxious eye to see what he would do. Theodore shuffled into the garden where he paused for a moment. He did a full turn taking in the wide variety of flowers and plants that surrounded him. He made his way over to the hydrangeas and plucked a blue one using his thumb and his forefinger. He deeply inhaled it’s fragrant aroma before placing it over his heart while his lost tears made their way over the crevices in his cheek.