I jogged across campus trying not to be late meeting Leina but not wanting to ruin the flowers I carried, waving to a few people I knew I continued on to the student parking lot. Leina waited leaning against her white mini cooper smiling when she saw me, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, I gently placed the flowers in the backseat. A friend from my physics class passed us on the way to his car.

“Where are you guys off to?” he asked.

“Just home for a short visit,” I said with a shrug. He slapped me on the shoulder gave Leina a small smile and continued on his way.

“Ready?” Leina asked I nodded and we got in the car to start our journey back home to Lincoln Falls just a few hours from our school.

The air was moist and you could just about taste the salt in the air as we neared the beach, my heart clutched at the memories of playing there I’d only been away at college for 2 years but it felt like so much longer. I glanced over at Leina, her long midnight black hair was swept up into a high bun and she wore the earrings I bought her for Christmas.

She stared intently at the road as she drove I knew she understood why this trip was so important to me but it was also important for her and our relationship. I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes within moments I was asleep and dreaming of the past.

            “Come out, come out where ever you are,” I called and took off for the trees intent on beating my hide and seek record. I hit all her favorite hiding places first, I knew from the glint in her eyes when we started she was not going make it easy for me but I had to check anyway. I left the little forest behind the park heading for the kids section remembering the newly built life size dollhouse, a perfect hiding place. I crept towards the house and just as I got to it, someone jumped me from behind.

            “Gotcha, Van!” she yelled laughing, I turned and grabbed her.

            “Celeste you cheat, where were you?” slipping from my grasp she took off.

            “Like I’m going to tell you. Come on!” she called; shaking my head I chased her around the park finally we collapsed into the soft grass laughing.

            “Do you think we’re the only high school juniors who still play and enjoy hide and seek?” I asked. Laying her head on my shoulder, she said,

“Yeah, probably.” She smelled like lavender and vanilla as always her soft black hair tickled my cheek, I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped she could not hear how fast my heart was pounding all because she was so close.

“We’re kind of weird.”

“Not at all we’re just unique friends.”

Friends. The word cut me like a knife we’d been friends all our lives practically attached at the hip but it was more than just friendship we both felt more, if we said the words out loud things would change become awkward and neither of us wanted to lose our best friend.

“It’s getting late we should go,” I said quietly and the spell was broken. She got up and brushed off the grass from her pants, I climbed to my feet and we set off for home. The sun had started its descent giving the sky an amber glow, Celeste looked over at me a mischievous glint in her honey brown eyes with a cat like smile she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the gazebo at the end of the park; placing us in the middle, she grabbed both my hands.

“We have to get home its getting dark,” I said, she just shrugged.

“It’s the weekend our parents won’t care.”

“What are we doing Celeste?” I don’t know why but my heart starting beating faster as we stood there staring at each other it felt like it was finally time to say what we’d always felt but I couldn’t find the words I could only stare at her memorizing her every feature.

“We should get married here someday,” she said finally, I tried to stay calm.

“What are you saying?” she looked at me from behind long thick lashes attempting to look innocent but always the cat that was caught eating the canary.

“I’m saying that one day we won’t be afraid of being more and we’ll be together so will you Donovan James Bennett take me Celeste Lisbeth Danes to be your lawfully wedded wife someday?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation, giving a cry of joy she threw her arms around me.

“I love you beyond the longest river and deepest ocean,” she said softly reciting our old saying.

“And I love you more than the brightest star and beyond the galaxy.”

Someone touched my shoulder. “Donovan wake up we’re here” Leina’s voice pulled me from my dream.

I looked out the window my heart clutched; I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Leina asked I gave her a small smile and shook my head happy to have her support but needing to do this on my own.

Getting out of the car, I wiped my hands on my jeans and grabbed the flowers from the back seat shooting one last glance at Leina I trudged up the small grassy hill.

It was a short walk but it felt so much longer, when I got there, I just stood clutching the flowers and staring, even after all these years I still couldn’t believe it.

Celeste Lisbeth Danes

Loving daughter and amazing friend

1994-2011

Tears burned my eyes but I refused to shed them I had to say it first, kneeling I placed the flowers at her grave.

“Hey Celeste, it’s me Van, sorry I haven’t been around, college you know? Well not just college I-I just couldn’t be around here without you I miss you so much.” It had been four long years since Celeste had drowned leaving me, but I’d finally gotten up the courage to come back. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I could just see her sitting there on her headstone smiling that mischievous smile of hers.

You didn’t just come here to say hi Van, have you found happiness. Her voice whispered in the back of my mind.

I choked the words out. “I’m happy Celeste, really happy with Leina but I had to come here and get some closure before we moved any further in our relationship I don’t know what I would have done with you gone if it hadn’t been for Leina.” I closed my eyes and hot tears scalded my cheeks it was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was tired of feeling guilty for loving Leina but I missed Celeste every day and had to come here to find some approval and closure. I knew all along that Celeste would want me to be happy and I think she would have liked Leina.

“I found my peace with your death a long time ago and I’ll always love you I just needed to come here and tell you that.” Warm air blew around me and it was almost like Celeste really was there telling me it was okay to be in love with someone else and she approved. I sent up a quick prayer and started back down the hill.

I love you beyond the longest river and the deepest ocean. The wind whispered.

“And I love you more than the brightest star and beyond the galaxy, goodbye Celeste” I said looking back one last time.

I looked ahead and at the bottom of the hill and there stood Leina looking up at me, waiting patiently for me, smiling for the first time all day I continued down the hill to her. She met me halfway and I walked right into her arms holding her close, she buried her face into my neck and we just stood there for a while and not once did I feel guilty for holding her. Finally, I held her at arm’s length and said.

“I love you.” She smiled and replied.

“Let’s go home.”