“I’m surprised you managed to actually get here before the minute class actually begins,” our friend, Owen, said to us. His notebooks were already laid out on his desk and, knowing him, he arrived over 10 minutes early.
I took the seat next to him and began unloading my backpack. From the corner of my eyes, I could see him pushing back his unruly blonde curls and his thick black glasses further up the bridge of his nose. When he quickly inhaled and sat up a little straighter, I knew who had just walked into the classroom. Princess McKenzie and her minion Shealeigh had arrived. Could this day get any worse? Abso-f*ing-lutely.
I looked at Erin next to me who just rolled her eyes. The sight of them made me want to vomit over everyone in the lecture hall, including myself. It didn’t help that one of their closest friends was Alec. But in that circle, friends weren’t legitimate, only used as pawns against others. The threat of betrayal was constant and made them cower around each other, striving for a messed up version of perfection rather than have to face anyone else.
Owen leaned his head onto his hand as he watched them walk down to the front row and drop their designer bags down by their seats. McKenzie flipped her waist length red hair over her shoulder. Her hair combined with her porcelain white skin and 5’9 height, she had all of the qualities of a model, including that self-assured attitude. Owen had been in love with McKenzie from day one; and the fool never stood a chance. I don’t even think she knew he existed anymore.
“Why can’t we just all go back to being friends?” Owen said in a sigh. Erin snorted in response, not justifying his question with a response.
“Owen that was a long time ago,” I said stiffly, not needing another trip down memory lane today.
“All I know is that I need to pass these classes so I can get the hell out of here already” Erin piped up, twirling her long chestnut hair with her fingers. 
“Well, did you guys ever try apologizing?” Owen asked; bringing us back to the conversation that needed to end immediately after it started.
Erin leaned over me to give him her best b**** glare, “It’s not our f*ing fault Owen. It’s Alec’s! Did Riley tell you how he-”
“Enough!” I said loud enough that people in the two rows in front of us turned around to see what was going on, “This is over and we’re not talking about it anymore today. Let’s just try to learn some psychology already.”
Luckily, the professor chose that time to walk into class, and the whole room fell silent.

~
I laid face down on my uncomfortable dorm bed with a giant sigh; the horrible day was finally coming to a close.
“Why does are hallway always smell like either weed or like someone is hording a pet hamster in their room? They really need to clean this hallway more, like with a bio-hazard team,” Erin began, loudly dropping her belongings onto the dirty white tile floors.
“I think we need to celebrate tonight,” I said, sitting up on my bed with my back against the wall, “or at least take a nice long vacation the next time a decent sized break rolls around. I think we owe it to ourselves!”
“As soon as I can save up enough money, I would gladly blow it on a nice Caribbean island surrounded by overly-friendly men who have no idea who we are” Erin responded.
“Then let’s go out-as soon as we get all of this school work done!”
“Then the next time we would be able to leave would be the same day we graduate!” Erin laughed and headed into the bathroom that we shared with the girls next door.
As I put my head between my hands, I heard my phone chime from where I had left it on my desk. Mustering up the willpower, I reached over and grabbed it; but only to stop the horrible noise it was producing.
“You really need to change your ring tone!” Erin screamed from the bathroom.
I was all thumbs as I typed in my passcode and pulled up the text message. Once reading it several times, I realized that my day could actually get worse. Instead of hurling it across the room, I wait for Erin to return and take care of my never-ending problems.
“Who was it from?” she asked.
Without saying anything, I just handed her my phone with the message already pulled up.
Alec: It was nice seeing you today. I didn’t think you had the ability to get an ass, I’m glad you proved me wrong :)
“At least he complimented my ass?” I shrugged up at her.
“Oh no- this was an insult, Sweetie, and don’t mistake it for anything else. This jerk cannot keep any thought to himself. He acts like he’s still in high school rather than college. Grow the f*** up,” she sayed and threw my phone back onto my bed, where it bounced around for a second before finally landing face down against my gray comforter.
“Should I respond to him? I mean, there’s really nothing for me to say…” I trailed off, not sure where I was going with that thought anyway.
“Oh hell, no. What we should do is go over to his mansion and beat the crap out of him, but I can’t afford a multi-million dollar law suit against my ass. But if I could, I would do it for you in a heartbeat.”
“And this is why we’re best friends,” I laughed, “but really, we just need to forget about him already. If I never had to hear from him or about him another day in my life, that would still be to soon. He can go rot in hell or anywhere for all I care as long as I don’t have to be there with him!”
“We’re going out tonight,” Erin decided, giving herself a little reassuring nod, “Let’s let loose a little bit. We’ve been cooped up here for a little too long!”
We both bursted out into a fit of giggles and began getting ready for our night out. It may have only been a Thursday, but in the world of college, there is something to do every night of the week. While Erin was throwing clothes around our room, I called our favorite set of twins, Shawn and Jackson, to see if they wanted to join us for the evening. While they don’t attend NYU with us, but rather another college across town, we still tried to see them every chance we got. All of us being family friends had it advantages, and one of them was getting to see them as much as possible.
“They're in!” I screamed over the music Erin had turned on while I was in middle of my conversation with them. Rap assaulted my ears, and probably everyone one else’s on the floor as well.
After another two hours, we were both finally ready to go out. Erin had on her favorite black skirt that perfectly highlighted her ass, and a tight crop top and showed off her belly button ring. I choose a skin-tight black dress that went mid-way down my thigh, but had a very low V-neck that showed my ample amount of cleavage. Our makeup was done to perfection, and all waterproof of course; we were known to casually wipe our hand across our face without realizing the ramifications: raccoon eyes.
“We look really hot,” Erin said as we both looked over ourselves in the mirror hanging on the back of our door.
At that moment, my cell phone started to buzz again with a text message from the twins telling me that they were waiting for us outside.
“I say we hit up that new bar right around campus, apparently it’s been very popular, and I’ve heard nothing but good things about it.”
I nodded my head, choosing to not mess up applying my lipstick rather than responding to her. Once I was finished, we both grabbed our cross-body bags and headed out to meet the boys.
"I still find it hard to believe that neither of us ended up dating Shawn or Jackson,” Erin mused as we walked down the long hallway.
“You do realize that you have slept with Shawn multiple times right? I mean you two may not be together but high school was interesting…” I raised my eyebrow at her, referring to the massive amounts of sexual tension between them during those years.
“Hey! You didn't even go to the same school as us!” she exclaimed.
“Honey, I heard it from both of you, and I didn't need to be there. I could feel it all the way from the other side of the city!” she elbowed me in the rib, both of us laughing, as we spotted the boys.
After hugs went around, Jackson asked the important question, “So where are we going tonight, girls? With the two of you dressed like that, I’m guessing we’re ditching the Frats tonight and moving up in the world.”

I knew from the second that I walked into that small café who she was. It took everything in me to keep my mouth shut and only asking for that damn cup of coffee that I didn’t even need. I was just walking back from the library and felt a tug for some reason. It pulled me straight through their doors. When I realized what that reason was, I wanted to turn around a run, but my mind decided to stay and propelled me forward toward her.
She was off in her own little world, and at that moment, I would have given anything to know what she was thinking and to just peek inside her mind and see if I was still in there or if she thought about me as much as I thought about her.
I coughed a few times which seemed to finally get her attention. The way she snapped back into reality was adorable; how she slightly shook her head from side-to-side as if trying to get rid of a fog, straightening her small shoulders, and tucking a loose piece of hair back behind her ear. All I wanted to do was just sweep her hair right out of her face, while brushing my fingers slowly across her rosy cheekbones.
Her soft brown eyes looked up at me and dilated, and I could see the fear that she had for me. I sighed, realizing that I deserved her fear and her downright hatred.
Of course Erin was working with her. Those two are attached at the hip. I would be shocked to see one apart from the other.
While Riley’s eyes looked sad, Erin’s were angry. I could tell she was fuming at me from across the counter, and as always I felt the need to provoke her. And what’s the best way to piss off Erin? Make a comment towards Riley.
Their manager came out eventually, and I’m sure everyone in the café could tell that she found me attractive; most women did. When I finally got my coffee, and was basically thrown out the store by Erin, I decided I needed to clear my head. Seeing her only made me sad and a hell of a lot more confused than I already was. Drinking the hot liquid as fast as possible, I quickly walked back to my dorm room where I threw on some running clothes and went out for a nice long jog.
Five miles later, I ended up back at my dorm room covered in a sheen of sweat. The run had been good. The cold air hitting me across the face gave me an incentive to keep going. My thighs and calves burned as I walked up the stairs. When my door finally closed behind me, I braced myself against the adjacent wall, putting my forehead against the white paint.
Why do I always let her get under my skin? I could have any girl in this school; I’d already had most of them during my past three years. There’s nobody who could resist me. I was better than all of them, except one. There was only one girl I knew I had to stay away from. The collision would be epic, if not fatal.
I knew a cold shower would do me good, and when I stepped under the freezing spray, a shudder ran through my body. My sore muscles were finally starting to loosen, and by the time I was finished, I felt a little more like my usual self.
“Bro, where have you been? I’ve tried calling you,” My roommate, Liam, said when I walked out the door from our attached bathroom. He must have come back while I had been in the shower.
“Needed a run,” was all I could tell him; he never really understood the whole Riley situation. He may have watched it all happen, but that doesn’t mean he would know what’s going on now. He was the more one-night type of guy.
“Well I talked with McKenzie today, and she said she got us into the VIP section of some new up-and-coming club tonight. You down?”
I rolled my eyes; McKenzie was pulling stunts like this all the time. She’s known to fool around the people she needs to in order to get whatever she wants. She was ruthless in that way.
“Why am I not surprised?” I mumbled as I pulled on a shirt.
“Why wouldn't we go? I wouldn't be surprised if that little devil ends up getting our drinks paid for as well. I plan on getting around to at least the top three most attractive girls in that place!” he says, laying back against the headboard on his bed.
As much as I just want to be alone that night, I knew that would never be allowed. My laid-back attitude and sly behavior is the appearance everyone sees, and the show will be no different from any other time.
“Yeah, call her up and tell her I’m in. I could use a night out,” I reluctantly agreed. I could always rely on a good party to get me in a better mood. Alcohol, pretty girls, and the chance for some bad behavior were my weaknesses. 
Once McKenzie and Shealeigh were finally ready, we all made our way over to C.A.V.E., the apparently new club that Kenzie said we just had to try since everyone was going to be there. Thankfully, the walk over was short but the line was around the corner.
“I got this guys,” Kenzie said as she strutted up to the bouncer, her chest in full display tonight. We all followed close behind her. I could have easily given the guy a couple hundred bucks I had in my wallet, but this was much more entertaining to watch.
“Hi there,” she began, twirling a piece of hair around her index finger, “remember me?”
The guy gave her a smile that would have made me punch him in the face if I actually gave a s*** about her, but it seemed to work and we were ushered inside within a couple of seconds. The place was packed, smelling of desperation, over-priced perfume, and sweat. Kenzie and Shealeigh made their way straight to the dance floor, needing to be admired on the moment of their arrival. Liam and I made our way over to the bar.
“Six tequila shots” I said to the bartender, grinning over at Liam, “and what do you want?” I jokingly asked him. He knew the routine; we always split the first round. Once they came, I downed my first two as quickly as possible, only feeling the sting of the alcohol when the second was long gone. Liam was still on his first.
He gave out a slow whistle,
“There sure are a lot of people here tonight, even for a weekday. Give it to Kenzie to know what’s going on.”
“That girl can tell you where the best parties are but couldn't tell you who the current president is. Her brain does not equal her beauty.” I said, admiring the view around me as well. The interior was plush and comfortable with warm tones that accented the mood perfectly.
“What's with you tonight?” he asked me, “That girl is useful as hell. There is no denying it,” and gave me a soft punch on the shoulder.
I downed the last one of my shots as I heard a laugh that I couldn't be able to escape from today. I let the alcohol run through me before I slowly turned around and saw her. Of all the places to go, of all the nights and days, Riley, Erin, and two boys I didn’t recognize were standing only a few feet down from where Liam and I were sitting. She looked stunning in a tight black dress that showed off her every curve,  and her high black heels made her legs looks lethal. I was tempted to punch any guy in the face who dared looked at her tonight. I growled when the guy she was standing next too put his arm loosely around her waist and she looked up at him and smiled.
“…And I said 'really can’t we all compromise here?'” Liam said, finishing some story that I hadn't been listening to.
“Sorry man, what did you say?” I asked, running my fingers through my hair in frustration.
He gave me a quizzical look before glancing over my shoulder. His face went to a sad, pity smile before returning to look at me. “Who knew she would be here tonight? That’s some coincidence. Are you gonna go say hi? Erin sure is looking good tonight.”
A skinny blonde wandered over next to me, leaned across the bar, and ordered herself a drink; she was exactly my usual type. She looked over at me, giving off a sexy smile and little wink.
“Hey Handsome, wanna drink with me?" She playfully asked, and I knew she wanted more than just a drink.
Normally I would have given in within a heartbeat, but not tonight. I gave her my winning smile and said, “I’m taken, but let me introduce you to my friend, Liam. I’d say he’s a lot more fun than I am,” I added with a wink. Liam turned around in surprise, pushing his chin length blonde hair away from his blue eyes that always seemed to mesmerize girls.
I never gave up a good catch, and he knew it. I shrugged before nodding my head towards the opposite direction of Riley, showing our usual signal for when we see someone else. He nodded and started talking to the leggy blonde while I walked away. The pull in my stomach returned from this morning that just ached for me to go talk with Riley. The alcohol in the brain was beginning to tell me that it was acceptable, too.
“Ugh, I hate dancing,” Shealeigh said, appearing out of nowhere. She slumped against the counter to the side of me waving a hand across her face, which was already covered in a fine coat of sweat. Her normal asymmetrical bob was pushed back away from her face with what seemed to be a large amount of hair gel, making her strawberry blonde hair looking shinier than ever.
“Is Kenzie still on the floor?” I asked, trying to pull my attention away from her. I just needed to be able to push her out of my head and I would be fine.
“Nah, she headed back to the VIP section with an armful of men. For some reason, they think she’s innocent.” She smirks at me; we both know that’s a lie. Kenzie could be a lethal weapon if she could only raise her IQ a mere 60 points.
“I think I’ll go hang out with her, though” she shrugged, never willing to leave her “soul sister’s” side. All I could do was shake my head and hope that once we leave this place, Shealeigh would be able to pull her head out of her ass. She’s too kind to be involved in all this s***.
I looked over at the bartender who didn’t even need me to speak before he put a round of shots down in front of me. I did them as fast as I possibly could.
I wasn’t interested in a round of mindless sex, which was a first for me and decided I would be better off stepping outside to get some fresh air than suffocate in here for another second.
When the back door swung behind me, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The air snapped against my face and bit the edges of my ears and the tip of my nose, but I welcomed the bitter cold on my skin to the burning heat that was coursing through me before.  Once I felt like I had finally pulled myself together, the door behind me opened.
What sounded like a group of girls giggling spilled out onto the nearly empty back alley where I was leaning against the shabby brick wall. Their perfume was coming towards me in waves along with the strong sent of alcohol and the lilting of cigarettes. Trying to avoid gagging, I walked around the corner. I hoped to maintain my limited privacy.
  Looking back over my shoulder one last time as I was rounding the corner, I felt myself collide with someone. The person gave out a soft high-pitched scream before we both fell to the ground.
“I’m so sorry. Let me help you,” I said, pulling myself up off the ground and rubbing my right hand against my elbow where I slammed it into the concrete.
My stomach tightened and my brain went into an instant daze when I looked towards my feet and saw my every thought, my only desire, getting up off the ground. When our eyes connected I felt like I had been dropped from a skyscraper. There was no air in my lungs. I gasped and grabbed her hand, helping her stand.
“Thanks,” she whispered, trying to leave my gaze but miserably failing. The scent of alcohol drifted from her parted lips and mingled between us. I still held her hand in mine when I gave it a little tug, pulling her body flush against mine. Through her thin black dress, I was able to feel her every curve against my body. I felt her rapid heartbeat and how the rise and fall of her chest pushed perfectly into mine. Our eyes never broke contact. My mind went blank and the only thread of information that remained was that I needed her now.
Groaning I pushed her against the wall next on the right and put my lips against her forehand. My hands braced my rigid body on either side of her head.
“Tell me you want this, Riley. Tell me it’s not just me. Let me show you the way that you deserve to feel,” I whispered against her. Her breathing was rapid and for a few seconds there was no response.
Then, she slipped her arms around my waist and stretched out her neck; perfectly lining up our bodies. She brought her lips to the edge of my mouth and in the most sexual voice I had ever heard her use said, “Please me”.
I barely let her finish before I pressed her lips against mine. Her lips opened slightly, and I could taste the fruity drink she had most likely had earlier in the night, along with her favorite chapstick that I knew she always carried around with her; strawberry flavored. I heard her groan from the back of her throat when my hands circled around her upper thighs. I picked her off the ground, and her legs circled around my waist. Her hands immediately went to my hair. Her body tightened around me and I leaned against her even more; making sure there was no space between us. I held onto this temptress with everything I had in me, not wanting this moment to end.
Her one hand gripped my hair while the other snaked under my shirt. I shuddered when her nails ran down my back, and the tips of her fingers circled around the top edge of my pants. I had to take a deep breath. Christ, she made me forget how to breathe. She made me forget who I was completely.
While one hand was still under her thigh holding her against the wall, my other hand pulled at the end of her ponytail making her lean her hand further back so I had more access to her neck. My lips moved from her's down across her jaw and slowly down her neck until they reached the curve of her breasts. Her back arched against the wall.  I stopped, leaned my head back, and took in the sight of her. She looked absolutely stunning. Her brown eyes opened and you could see the lust clouding her vision. I sighed and leaned back against her.
“How about we leave this god-forsaken alley behind and head back to my room?” I asked, knowing she would say yes. They always did.
Suddenly, as if coming back to reality, her eyes snapped back open and her hands pushed against my chest.
“I have to go!” she breathlessly said looking both ways, trying to find closest way back into the club. I sighed. She was so different from the other girls I’m usually with. I've never given her a good enough reason to stay.
“If you go around the corner, there’s a door that will let you back inside,” I said, looking at the ground. She didn't even respond before she flung herself around the brick wall. A second later, I could hear the door slamming shut behind her.
I put my back against the wall and slid down, sitting on the ground. I put my head in my hands and took several much needed deep breaths. I wanted to believe that what just happened was wrong, and that I shouldn't want to do it again, but every fiber inside me told me that I not only wanted to continue what just happened, but take her and never let her go. 

I swung the door of the club back open and ran straight for the bathroom. I felt as though I was going to be sick. Erin and the boys had to be wondering where I was by now.  My head was spinning and my heart was pounding in my chest. What did I just do? I heard the chirping of my phone from the bag and pulled it out. I had 3 missed calls and 4 text messages. The latest one was from Erin.
Erin: Where are you?!?
Riley: Sorry, went outside for some fresh air. In the bathroom, meet you at the bar in a minute.
I splashed some cold water against my face and touched up my makeup from the powder, mascara, and lipstick I had brought with me. I needed a minute to wrap my head around what had just happened.
Erin is going to kill me when she finds out, or she’s just gong to finally kill him. I groaned in frustration. What am I supposed to do? Knowing that I needed to face the music eventually, I made my way out of the bathroom and back into the dimly lit main area.
From the corner of my eye I spotted Liam Erikson, Alec’s right hand man, with a model-like blonde on the dance floor. I knew that the dynamic duo, Kenzie and Shealeigh, must be somewhere around here. They always seemed to travel in a pack.
I knew the second that Erin spotted me. She came strutting right towards me with her hands on her hips and was flanked by both Shawn and Jackson. While she looked pissed, they looked more amused than anything. They loved seeing me reprimanded by Erin, since is usually happened on the daily.
“I saw Liam out on the dance floor,” she said giving me an accusatory look. I could only shrug my shoulders and looked at my feet.
“You know that means that they're all here tonight,” she paused to raise her eyebrow at me, giving me the look that says I know what she’s about to say next. “Which means that Alec’s probably here as well, and since I don’t see him having public sex with a Barbie doll, he must have been preoccupied somewhere else,” she finished, crossing her arms over her chest.
I chose not to answer again and instead walked a few steps behind her and ordered a mango martini at the bar, along with a shot of vodka. After downing the shot and taking a couple of big sips of the martini, I turned back around towards them.
“Yes, I ran into him outside, and yes, s*** happened, but right now, all I really wanna do is dance!” I said, downing the last of my drink.
Erin sighed, knowing that the subject was dropped; at least for now. I grabbed her hand and lead all of us onto the packed floor. The music was blaring and I could barely breath with the amount of people and sweat surrounding me. I pushed what had just happened out of my head and decided to enjoy the rest of my night. Alec will always be dirty history. I just need to learn how to deal with him better.
“Look at him being all moody over there!” Erin screamed at me, even though she was right next to my face, but even then, I could just hear her. Sure enough, Alec had come back into the club as well. He stood against the wall of the VIP sections with his arms crossed, clearly not enjoying himself.
“Don’t care!” and I threw my head back and continued to dance along to the music. I wanted to feel the vibrations from the music in my chest, not the thought of him and that damn brick wall. I shuddered at the memory. Alleys would never be the same for me again.
Hours quickly flew by as Erin and I made our way back and forth from the dance floor towards the bar, where it seemed plenty of guys were willing to buy us drinks and dance to a couple songs. At around 3 in the morning, Erin and I both made our way towards the bar and sagged in the comfortable chairs.
“I think my feet are going to need removed after tonight,” she said, wiggling her toes in her extremely high heels. “I lost feeling in them about four hours ago.”
“Wanna head out for the night?” I asked, praying that she would say yes. I was drunk enough and had enough men around me tonight to leave and sleep for a solid 8 hours.
“Yes! Let’s get the boys and head back. That is, if we’re able to walk back.” The boys came over to us a couple minutes later. They could have stayed until the late morning with all women that they managed to surround themselves with. Erin and I found ourselves limping out of the club while people were still inside with no intention of leaving. Shawn and Jackson looked over at us, moving slower than a snail, then back towards each other.
“Ok ladies, up you go.” Shawn said, they both stepped in front of us and leaned over, letting us jump on their backs.
“Piggy back rides!” Erin and I screamed at each other simultaneously, and then burst out into a round of laughter. We both knew that these boys were around for a reason.
I managed to get myself up on Jackson’s back and rested my head against his shoulder. The night was finally catching up to me, and I felt the exhaustion hit me all at once. I needed a hot shower and my bed.
“You’re the best, boys. Thanks for always taking care of us,” I told them both. I turned my head and planted a loud kiss onto the side of Jackson’s cheek and grinned at him. There would never be anything romantic between us. We were practically siblings, but I was still allowed to mess with him sometimes.
I leaned my head back on my shoulder, my face turned towards the second exit of the club. Stopped there with his mouth hanging open was Alec. He almost looked hurt, as if he had just found out someone he loved was dead. The crowd around him was pressing him to keep walking, but, at that moment, he seemed to be off in his own little world.
I raised my eyebrow at him, silently asking him if he was ok. He just swallowed, shoved his hands in this pockets, and dropped his head down towards the ground.
The boys kept walking and within a couple seconds he was out of my sight.
I looked towards Erin and from the expression on her face I could tell that she had just seen the same thing I did.
“Later,” she mouthed at me, and I knew that I would not be allowed to sleep for a couple more hours, or at least not until Erin fully grilled me on what happened inside and psycho-analyzed his behavior outside the club.
I just rested my head back against Jackson’s shoulder and enjoyed the walk home. The cold air was a welcome relief from the sweaty nightclub. I was finally able to properly breathe.

~
An hour later, we both curled up in our beds, and I knew it was time for one of us to start talking. Her reprimanding me was inevitable. To some degree, I even deserved it.
“I know that it’s not easy to forget about him,” she started, resting her head against her headboard with her comforter wrapped around her. I hugged my pillow into my chest and pressed my face against it.
“He just captivates me when I’m around him. It’s liked my brain shuts down, and I forget everything but him. When he’s standing in front of me like that, he becomes my every thought, my wish come true. You know I try to avoid seeing him, and, on some level, I do hate him. But…” I wonder off, not sure how to continue.
“That’s some f*ed up genie that let you grant that wish, Sweetie. I think you should ask for your money back.”
I smiled; only Erin could turn a bad situation into something we could both laugh about.
“He can be so great sometimes, and he is to those that he truly cares about, but I can never tell what’s an act with him. I know he’s hiding something, and it’s buried deep enough that nobody’s been able to uncover it. I just want to know. I need to know the damn truth already!” I said, knowing that there was really no answer to what I was asking for.
Erin took a deep breath. “No matter what there is something just bad about him. Bad enough that we should all stay away. Some secrets are meant to stay buried, Ry. Maybe it’s best that it stays that way. And we both know that Alec’s whole life is just a giant commercial; starring Alec and some dumb blonde.”
I leaned my head back against my pile of pillows and stared up at the ceiling. I knew that I wasn’t getting any answers any time soon.
“There are so many better people out there, Honey. And those other assholes that are lining up for you are a hell of a lot less complicated. Just face it; all men suck,” Erin continued.
I couldn’t help but laugh. She was definitely telling the truth there. Men were more complicated than the sex positions in Cosmo, and that’s saying something. She turned off the light, eliminating all of the light in the room except for the glow in the dark stars that we had stuck on the ceiling the first week of school. The green glow that formed a constellation was the last thing I saw.
I felt as if I was asleep for a few minutes before my alarm went off.  Lion King blared, indicating that it was finally Friday.
“I don’t think we got more than four hours,” Erin said, still groggy and pushing her hair away from her face. Her makeup was smudged a little around her eyes, showing that she didn’t get all of it off last night. 
I stood up and stretched my hands over my head. My whole body felt sore. Jumping in the shower, I finally rinsed off the dirtiness that still clung to my skin from the night before.
“You would think that one day we would learn not to party on weekdays. It just makes everything harder the next day,” I said as I stepped out of the bathroom, only wrapped in a towel.
“Nah,” Erin said, “That’s the whole point of college. These are the mistakes that we are supposed to make. It’s supposed to teach us what not to do once we graduate.” She smirked; knowing that what she sprouted was just a ton of bullshit.
“At least we have a short shift this morning. I don’t think I could do a full shift, and then, still manage to get through all of our classes.” I digged around my drawers, looking for my green apron and a black t-shirt. When I finally was able to get dressed, with only one round of nausea hitting me, we were both pulled together enough to leave our room.
“Don’t forget these,” Erin said, handing me a pair of oversized black sunglasses, she was already putting her pair on.
Together we walked the two blocks to work, both caring our oversized backpacks and sporting very large sunglasses.
“I don’t think I would have taken this job if I wasn’t allowed to get free coffee,” Erin said downing her second cup. We were in the usual morning lull and were entertaining ourselves by drinking as much caffeine as we could. One cup for every hour of sleep missed, right?
Luckily it was Amanda’s day off. I polished off my second muffin. I’m always starving after a night of drinking. The bell above the door dings, indicating we have a customer.
I see a mass of dirty blonde curls before Owen picks his head up and I spot his thick-rimmed glasses, which slightly magnified his brown eyes.
“You are such a hipster, Owen!” I say laughing and standing up towards the register. “You never visit us a work, what a treat. What can I get for ya?” I wipe my hands against my apron. They’re still sticky from my snack.
“Just a regular coffee please,” he asked, pulling his wallet from his back pocket.
“On the house today, man!” Erin said over from her station, already getting started on his cup, “We could all use some extra liquid energy today.”
Owen turned and glared at both of us. “The only reason the two of you would need a ridiculous amount of coffee would be because you went out last night. Am I right?” He rolled his eyes at both of us.
“Guess who also happened to be out last night.” Erin said, a sly smile coming across her face as she looked over at me. She could never resist pushing his buttons. The boy was two things: easily irritated and madly in love with a fantasy.
His eyes widened and rushed against the counter pressing his face in-between the coffee machines.
“Did you see her?” he breathed, looking transfixed. I laughed while Erin grinned at him.
  “Oh yeah we saw her last night all right. But I would say that she was a little preoccupied to notice that anyone else was around her.”
The poor boy looked cast fallen when he heard the news. I just shook my head. He really needed to find someone better than that.
“I’m guessing if she was there, another certain someone was there as well?” he asked. The smile on his face told me that he was only saying this in retaliation.
I gave him my most threatening stare. This was supposed to be an Alec-free day. “Maybe, not like I care,” I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
“Oh cut the act,” Erin butted in, “We all know that he was. We can all assume that something happened. However, it’s over and we’re never talking about him again!”
Owen chuckled, “You guys say that every time about every guy, but you two gossip too much to leave anything buried in the closet.”
Erin and I looked at each other and shrugged. Owen was, as always, right and made a very good point.
I curled the end of my ponytail around my fingers, letting the loose curls recoil at every pull I gave them. “Owen, one night were gonna take you out and find you a girl that’s worthy of all those curls,” I told him.
“Ok, fine, conversation over! Did you two manage to get the reading done for Clark’s class? Damn, he loves to see if he can kill us every class. I mean 140 pages to read in two days? It’s not like I’m taking any other classes or anything,” Owen rambled, knowing that any one of us could get a good rant going about our psychology teacher.
After our shift had finally ended, the three of us walked over to class, where we only had to sit in this unbearable room for an hour.
“Thank God, it’s Friday,” Erin said, dropping her backpack against her usual seat. “I plan on spending the entire weekend with my boy curled up in bed. And by boy, I mean my Netflix account.”
As if on que, the Barbies decided to grace us with their presence. Kenzie and Shealeigh strutted into the lecture hall from the front entrance doors. However, today they seemed to bring along some guests. Instead of going to their usual seats in the front, they walked up the stairs and past us, sitting directly in the row behind us.
Erin turned and gave me a quizzical look, what could they possibly be doing? I didn’t see who the people were with them until I felt hot breath tingle the back of my neck.
“Hey, sexy,” Alec whispered in my ear. I could recognize that voice anywhere.
I tensed up, then gave an alarming look to Erin. I had no idea how to get myself out of this situation. So much for it being an Alec free day. I could never be so lucky. Erin leaned back in her seat putting herself at eye level with Alec.
“We both know you’re not in this class. Don’t make me report you to the teacher. I would hate to leave a stain on that perfect record of yours,” she threatened him, her voice only a whisper.
He only smirked back at her. “Good to see you too, Erin. Maybe I came all of this way just to see your lovely face. You wound me. Here I was missing you, and all you can do is try to hurt me.” He put his hand over his heart and gave her his most innocent expression.
She rolled her eyes, turning forward again in her seat as the professor walked into the classroom.
I still felt him breathing against my neck, so without looking back, I said in the most quiet voice possible, “Why did you come here? This is practically stalking. You should know. Aren’t you the one majoring in criminal justice?”
His hand reached up into my hair that was lying loose around my shoulders. It was still curly from my shower this morning. He twisted a lock around his finger then let it go; a habit I always do when I’m nervous or bored.
I decided to ignore him and went back to what the professor was saying about our upcoming exam next week. When his lecture began, I opened my notebook and started writing down what he had written on the board. I was too focused on the class to pay any attention to Alec behind me.
With twenty minutes remaining, I felt a pair of hands wrap around my shoulders and I jumped in my seat, startled from the surprise.
“Shh,” Alec whispered down towards me. He then began kneading my shoulders, relaxing the tight muscles that had become stiff from hunching over in class all the time. I arched my shoulders and pressed back into his hands. It felt so good. As his hand slipped down my back, pressing his knuckles along my spine, I wanted to moan.
I tried to continue paying attention to what he was saying, but I barely wrote any notes down. Hopefully, Erin would let me borrow her's so I could actually find out what she was talking about. The professor could be speaking German for all I knew. Thank God, he wrote everything he said on the board.
“Class dismissed,” he called what seem to be only seconds later. Alec’s hands quickly left my back and I heard the rustle of their whole group standing, collecting their bags, and quickly leaving the hall.
I slumped further into my seat. I couldn’t decide if I hated Alec a little more for what he just did, or if I found myself a bit more attracted to him. All emotions came to close together when he was concerned.
“Very well, then,” Erin said, giving me her judgmental face.
I gave her the finger, grabbed my stuff, and left the room. I waited until I was outside to pull my coat on and waited for Erin there. I may be mad at her, but our forgiveness towards each other was always instant. There’s no way I could actually be mad at her, only pissed off. Her and Owen strolled out a couple minutes later.
“I say that we move to a foreign country where the name Alec is a swear word that lands you in prison. Maybe this country will also happen to be a secluded island only populated with shirtless, muscular men who like to bring us fruity drinks while we sit on the beach. Then we develop the magical power of eating anything we want and not gaining any weight!” Erin said, looping her arms with mine.
A light drizzle had started while I was waiting for them. Owen said his goodbyes and headed off to his next class. Together we walked back to our dorm room, enjoying the rain that became heavier as we continued, covering us like a protective shield.

“You’re better than this. You’re better than him,” I repeated to myself in my head, making it into a personal mantra as I ran faster on the treadmill. I made it my mission to work out as much as possible. It kept me strong and powerful, which I liked, but also kept that pesky weight off that seemed to be attracted to me ever since I started college last year.  After the week I was having, it felt nice to burn off my anger in the gym. Unlike Erin is always threatening to do, I can’t actually hurt the people that are causing all of my problems, namely Alec. 
All I wanted to do was erase him from my life. He blew into me last year like hurricane. At first, the breeze felt good in my personal drought, but then the winds kept getting stronger and knocked over everything in sight, especially me.
I had pulled myself together since then, though. I was back on track. I had started completing a large portion of my credits for my Psychology major; pulling at A’s so far. Over the summer, Erin and I found a cute little job that we managed even with our busy schedule. I had a firm grasp on everything in my life right now.
Then Alec walked through that door and throws me right off track again. He brings an excitement in my life that only he can supply. I feel alive when I’m around him, but I also know that feeling can get me burned, badly.
I slowed my machine down, trying to catch my breath and placing my hands on my hips. I wiped the sweat off my brow and took a large drag from my water bottle. Working out was always my alone time during the week. Erin said she didn’t need to work out, and she was right. She had curves that every girl craved and every guy wanted to touch. My legs felt like Jell-O as I walked across the gym, grabbed my coat, and walked into the crisp fall air.  I loved having the breeze go across my face, making my cheeks flush. While I hated snow, I could never live anywhere that didn’t have winter. There was something so romantic about winter in the city.
I was off in my own world, not paying attention, when I thought I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and behind me I saw Shealeigh walking quickly, a couple steps behind me. She waved once she realized that she had caught my attention.
“Hey,” she said, catching up to me, “I thought you weren’t going to hear me at first. I’m glad that I caught you.” She smiled at me. It was moments like this her bubbly personality shone through. She could really never be contained.
“Uh, what’s up?” I asked confused on why she would stop me. We hadn’t talked in months. I think she said hi to Erin and I one time towards the end of our freshman spring semester.
“Would you like to grab some coffee?” she pointed behind her to another little coffee shop located around campus. One could be found on practically every corner.
I stared at her for a moment, wondering if she was playing some sort of game. She rubbed her hands together and pressed them against her face, showing how cold she was. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a sweater, which meant that she wasn’t around Kenzie, who would never let her dress like that.
“Sure,” I told her. I at least wanted to find out what she wanted to talk about. At least it was her and nobody else from that friend group, but out of all the people to send, she does seem the most innocent.
I followed her into the warm café where we stood in silence until we both placed our orders. Drinks in hand, we found a little table in the corner next to the windows and sat down.
“I know this is random,” she started, “but I feel as if there’s always this unfinished business between us, and, to be honest, for a while it was off my mind, but certain things have made those memories come back.”
I knew by certain things she meant Alec. He must have mentioned what happened the other night, or Liam did in front of everybody to embarrass him. Shealeigh at least saw what happened in class earlier that day.
“An apology probably doesn’t mean much at this point. I know if I were you I probably wouldn’t accept it, but I just wanted to put one out on the table anyway. I’m sorry for what happened. I know I wasn’t really involved, but I didn’t help the situation.” She took a sip of her drink, and then looked up at me through her small glasses.
I sighed and looked out the window. If anyone didn’t owe me an apology, it was her. But I was glad to hear it nonetheless.
“Thanks, Shealeigh. It means a lot to me that you wanted to say that. The past is the past, and I hope that we can all just move on. I don’t think we can ever go back to how things were, but I hope we don’t have to be hostile towards each other.”
She smiled and said, “I would love that, but I think we both know someone that wishes things didn’t have to change or that you won't move on.”
I froze in my seat. She had to be talking about Alec. What had he been telling her? What he said to me last year was very clear. I was respecting his wishes. He needs to learn how to do the same.
“I don’t quite know what you’re talking about,” I cocked my head to the side and squinted at her. I knew her well enough to know that she was up to something.
“All I’m saying is that there’s been a lot of talk about the past this week, and not all of it’s been the pretty stuff. I think he feels as if he made a mistake.” Her eyes looked as if they were pleading at me.
Hell yeah, he made a mistake. Actually, several huge ones that made me feel as if a hole had been ripped in the middle of my chest and turned Erin into a wanna-be-killer. This was all just too much. I didn’t need him anymore. I’m better off without him now.
“I don’t need some sob story, Shealeigh. Don’t forget I know exactly what happened. Probably better than you do, so save yourself some energy.” I stood up from our table. I didn’t want to hear this anymore.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. I really invited you out here to apologize, not bring up the past. I’m sorry I mentioned it. I just thought it would be something you wanted to hear.”
I took a deep breath. I believed her, and I knew that she wasn’t that malicious as to try to hurt me at point blank. She wasn’t like the rest of them in that regard.
“Wel,l thanks for the talk. I’m glad we got at least some of our issues resolved. Oh, and good luck with midterms next week,” I gave her a warm smile, a soft wave, and headed back outside towards my dorm room.
I felt as if I was living in a parallel universe this week. What sick person decided to throw everything my way right now? I thought about the giant load of work waiting for me back in my room and let my thoughts slip away from the past and settle firmly in the present.

~
I rubbed my hands down my face as I glanced over to check the time. The bold numbers couldn’t lie, even when I wanted them to. 2:30 a.m. my phone read, reminding me that I had been in the library for about five and a half hours now. My work was slowly moving along. If only this English paper could write itself, but, sadly, I was stuck writing the damn 15-page paper about Wuthering Heights. It’s a good thing I actually enjoyed that book.  I sighed loudly. My second cup of coffee had been finished at around one and I was beginning to crave for another cup. I felt an all-nighter coming my way. There was no way I was going to be able to leave the library before 6 in the morning at least. Luckily for me, I was used to this routine, as are most college students.
I stared at my laptop, hoping that words could just appear on the page. With nine pages to go, I hoped to be able to get some psychology reading and answer the questions in the back of the book before I needed to go to work. The library at this hour was practically dead. The only remaining people were two other students sitting a couple tables down who looked to be in the same boat as me. The other two were the cleaning staff, trying to be as quiet as possible.
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest. What harm would it be if I closed my eyes for only a moment? I got comfortable and took a deep, relaxing breath.
“Oh no, you don’t,” a voice said from behind me, scaring me back to the present.
I turned around in my chair to see the one-and-only Alec standing behind me with two cups of coffee in his hands. Without saying anything else, he sat one of the cups in front of my laptop and took the seat across from me. I greedily accepted the cup, too tired to argue with him. I really needed this caffeine. We sat for a couple minutes in silence, both of us just enjoying our coffee. When I was halfway done with mine and had avoided eye contact with him as much as possible, I put my cup down and looked up.
“Thanks for the coffee. You know this counts as borderline stalking, right?" I joked.
He chuckled and said, "I brought you caffeine, so I thinking my stalking can be excused."
"Well, thanks again, but I really do have a ton of work to get back to.” I smile, hoping he would just leave on his own.
A warm smile spread across his face as he said, “I’ve become somewhat of an insomniac these days. The hours just tend to slip by without sleep even being a second thought. I guess I just need to find the proper motivation to get myself back in my bed,” he said grinning at me.
I rolled my eyes at him. That boy would do anything for a quick lay. His girl-of-the-week must be all worn out tonight. He usually had a couple backups though. He must be pretty desperate to come here and talk to me.
“Look, I don't mean to sound rude, but what the hell are you doing here? I’ve had enough of your s*** to last a lifetime. I really don’t need anymore right now.” I usually tried to act civil around him, but I wasn’t in the mood at this hour.
He put his arms up in front of him as if I had a gun pointed at him. “Hey, just looking for a good ole intellectual conversation on a cloudy evening.”
He always had an ulterior motive. I didn’t believe him for a second. I crossed my arms back over my chest, wishing I could just focus on my work and not have to entertain him. Actually, that seemed like a great plan.
I sat up and looked back towards my paper I was working on and began typing. I soon became lost in the paragraph I was on and 20 minutes went by before I looked up again. I figured he would have been long gone by now, but it looked like I had no luck these days as he was still sitting across from me, his head propped up in one of his hands. He looked bored.
“Just go, Alec. It’s clear I’m busy and don’t want you here, or anywhere near me for that matter. You have plenty of 'friends.' Go hang out with some of them.” I was exasperated at that point. Why couldn’t he leave me alone?
He started drawing lazy circles on the tabletop with the tip of his finger. “One time, I had a dream that someone was trying to kill you. You were just lying on the ground, not moving, and there was a man standing above you. It was too dark to see what he looked like. I kept trying to get to the two of you, but if felt as if I was running in place. I remember being furious because I couldn’t do anything. It was that one night you spent with me last year. You know, when you woke up to me screaming at the top of my lungs? I never told you what I was dreaming about.” He looked up at me, a sad expression on his face.
“I remember that,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. I woke up in a panic that night thinking that something had happened to him. Instead, he just pulled me back towards him, wrapped our bodies together, and told me to go back to sleep.  He told me that it was nothing but a bad dream.
I shook my head. I really wanted the past to stay in the past. “And why did you feel as if this was the perfect moment to tell me that? Did you really think, after all this time, that that’s something I would still be wondering about? I forgot all about that moment until just now.” I didn’t mean to sound rude, but he really did need to leave me be.
“I wanted to tell you that because I had the same dream last night. Scared the hell out of me and everyone else in my room as well,” He chuckled, probably thinking about scaring the crap out of all the people trying to “sleep” in his room. There was always a party going on in there.
“Alec, forget all about me. Your Barbie dolls should keep you enough company when your posse is busy. What you really need to do is pull yourself together. Grow up already. We left high school a long time ago.” I didn’t have time for his bullshit. What I wanted to do was finish the damn paper, get some sleep, and wake up with enough time to shower before I had to go to work in the morning.
“The nightmares aren’t just about you, Riley.” He sounded angry all of a sudden. Maybe even pissed that I wasn’t comforting him with my tongue in his mouth.
“What then? Did your credit cards get cutoff? Or did your jet break down leaving you on a private island with only five girls dressed in bikinis? Oh, the horror,” I said with as much sarcasm as possible.
He huffed and sending me his best glare and raised-eyebrow combo. I didn’t scare me one bit.
“Actually they’ve been about Caleb.” He looked me straight in the eyes, with zero expression on his face.
I froze in my seat, and, for a couple seconds, I couldn’t breathe. He never talked about Caleb. We had only had one conversation about him and the rest of his family. I don’t think anyone else knew about his past but me, and I didn’t know all that much to begin with.
“I’m really sorry, Alec. I didn’t mean to sound disrespectful. I know that he meant a lot to you, and I know it’s hard for you to think about him again.”
He shrugged his shoulders, trying to act as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I don’t know why I thought you should know. Probably because you know the most out of everyone, and even that was an accident.”
I knew he was referring to the time last year when the two of us had gone out and had to bit too much to drink. By the time we got back to his room, dawn was breaking so we curled in his bed and began talking about our past. To say the least, he shared a lot more than I expected. I don’t think he meant to, or at least he didn’t want me remember it all the next day.
“You know the school has a counselor,” I said trying to be sensitive, “She could probably help you a lot more than I ever could in a library at 3 in the morning.”
“I don’t have any problems, Ry. Why would I? I’m living the college dream.” A grin spread across his face that could fool everyone but me.
“Not many people had a twin brother that died, Alec. You’re allowed to be upset about that. Hell, most people could never recover from half the s*** you had to go through. Stop trying to play the relaxed bachelor. It never suited you.”
“Honey, I’ve never claimed to be a saint. I’ll see you later.” He winked and stood up from his seat.
“No, you won't. Please let this be the end for both of us. If you happen to walk by me in the future, just pretend we're strangers. That’s what I try to do.”
His face fell for a moment, but he quickly recovered. He picked up my hand in his and lightly brushed his lips against the top of my hand.
“You’re more myself than I am,” He whispered, quoting my favorite book. Ironically, it was the one I happened to be currently writing a paper about. With that, he turned his back on me and walked out of the library.
I felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of me. Alec always came into my life like a tornado, tearing up everything in its path. Nothing was ever simple with him.
I tried to shake away everything he had said in the past hour and put my nose back to the grind stone, finishing my work as quickly as possible while the sun was rising from the window next to me.

I woke up covered in sweat with my t-shirt sticking to my overheated body. I sat straight up in bed and put my hand over my mouth. I felt as if I was going to be sick. I slowly took deep breaths through my nose, willing the nausea to go away. After several long minutes, I felt my heart rate go back to normal and my stomach unclench.
I looked over towards my clock. It was only 1:30 in the morning. Usually, I wouldn’t have even gone to sleep by now. I groaned and rolled over in my bed. It had been three agonizing days since I had seen Riley in the library, and I was still being assaulted with these vicious dreams. I had no idea what triggered them all of a sudden. The last time I had one was the night before I moved into my dorm room freshman year. Now it's almost three years later, and they’re worse than ever.
Knowing that sleep would not be coming my way anytime soon, I stood up, stretched my hands above my head, and grabbed a pair of basketball shorts. I stepped outside into the chilly night, not bothering to put on a shirt let alone a jacket. It was out of laziness and spite more than anything. I kept my pace quick, trying to keep myself warm.
My thoughts turned back towards Riley and our conversation the other night at the library. Why did I feel as if I needed her of all people? She didn’t even want me around her, though that was partially understandable after what how I acted the previous fall. My behavior, then, might have been a tad inappropriate towards her, but I’ve always had problems justifying and explaining my feelings towards anyone. She shouldn’t have taken it so personally.
I flashed back to watching her eyes fill with tears, and I turned around and walked away from her, all of her former friends following in a line like ducks behind me. At the time, I felt immense power. Tearing her down was the only way I could build myself up again.
No days the whole situation just infuriated me. I basically apologized to her, which is something I rarely do, and I even made an effort to try to be friendly to her. She was the one being difficult. I was so angry with her. Part of me blamed her for what happened before instead of myself, even though it was kind of my fault. The last thing she said to me was still as clear in my head as it was when I first heard it. “I don’t hate you Alec. I only feel pity for you.” She had whispered up at me with a unhappy expression on her face.
I suddenly began laughing out loud. I didn’t need anyone’s pity, especially her's. I shoved my hands in my pockets and kept walking forward. At that point, I had no clue where I was going, but I didn't seem to care. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and pulled it out to see who was calling at this hour. It was Shealeigh. She was the one person I wouldn’t mind talking to, and I quickly answer her call.
“Hey girl, what’s up?” I ask her.
“Alec!” she screams into the phone, “Oh my god, I feel like I haven’t seen you in years. I muss you.” She over exaggerated the last word, holding onto the "oo" sound for a good couple seconds. I couldn’t tell if this was just her bubbly personality or if she was extremely drunk, but both were a possibility.
“And how much have you had to drink tonight?” She giggles and I know she’s had something. It takes a lot for her to get drunk. She’s surprisingly no lightweight.
“Yes. Kenz said that I need to relax 'cause I study too much! Did you know that Alec? I study too much,” she sighs and I can hear her throwing back another shot before continuing, “Guess who I ran into today!”
I rub my hand against my face, apparently I can’t outrun all of my problems tonight. “Who?” I ask even though I already know the answer.
“Riley! I haven’t seen her in forever so we went to coffee! You have no idea how cold it was outside,” she dramatically says.
I’m taken aback in surprise by what she just told me. While she never truly hated Riley and Erin, I knew that she didn’t talk to them anymore. She turned around and didn’t look back just like the rest of us. I didn’t think she felt too much different or different enough to track Riley down and ask her out to coffee. How did Riley accept coffee from her and not me? That thought pissed me off more than it should have.
“Really? Well, what did you to manage to talk about?” I tried to stay neutral and not flip out on her like I want to.
“We had a great time!” she screams into the phone, “Well, that is until she got all mad at me. Whoops! Now I know not to bring you up when I see her.”
“You regularly see her? And what the hell do you mean talk about me? What did you say?” I know I sounded like a school boy trying to dig up dirt about his crush that he’s too afraid to talk to but I just couldn't help it. I was tired of waiting around for answers. I needed to get them somewhere.
“Well, you see,” she pauses for a minute and I want to bash my head against a wall. “Well, I just saw her and just thought why the hell not! So I didn’t and I ‘pologised for last year, and then, I brought up you and said how you’ve been talkin' 'bout the past an' all and that seemed to upset her.” She was rambling at this point but I didn’t care, she wouldn’t remember any of it tomorrow anyway.
“Thanks for the info, sweetie. Now go to sleep and drink some water. We don’t need you hung over tomorrow.” Nobody was worse than Shealeigh hung over because it happened so rarely. She can be a down right bitch when she wants to be.
I hung up my phone when she began to sing some horrible Britney Spears song that should have never been made in the first place.
I put my phone back in my pocket and finally felt as if I was walking with a purpose. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. I was under Riley’s skin even though she had been trying to prove me otherwise. I don’t know what my sick fascination was with this damn girl. I had already broken her down. Maybe I was just impressed that she was able to get back up again. Maybe it was due to the fact that she knew so much about my early life that I tried to hide away, and usually did a good job doing so. It could also be because I found her to be one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid eyes on. She’s brilliant and has a fire in her that could never be put out. All I wanted to do was share some of that heat.
I walked a couple more feet towards a worn out bench in the middle of campus. It was full of claw marks from dogs and kids scrawling their names into the wooden planks. I was sure the underneath was covered in a thick layer of gum.
I sat down and leaned back and looked towards the sky. The tall skyscrapers and thick fumes blurred the finer details but nothing could cover the shine of some stars. I sat there, perfectly content, just staring at the sky; knowing that the stars I was looking at could be seen by another thousands of miles away. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift, as I fell asleep in the city that was always awake.

~
“You know you really need to stop falling asleep here. A young handsome boy like you might just get taken. And sorry, buddy, I’m no Liam Neeson. Your ass would be gone.”
I blink and couple times and find Liam standing over me, his arms crossed over his chest, and a smirk on his face. I had never gone back to my room the night before and was still leaning against the dirty bench. I groaned and closed my eyes again, hoping I could just go back to sleep.
“As much as I love watching you sleep, I got shit to do today, so let’s get your fat ass back to your room before I get anymore phones calls about you sleeping in a public spot.”
He pushes against my shoulder and I slowly stand up, sending him a glare.
“People sleep outside all the time so stop bothering me. Also, how did you know where to find me?” While I had fallen asleep in this very same position before, I always made it back to my room with enough time to change and grab my stuff to make it to class. Liam knew not to wait up for me.
“I got a call from Carter who said he saw you passed out here on his way back from morning football practice and thought I should know. Smart move, dude. You know this isn’t some gated campus, right? We have people just wondering around. It's probably best not to just fall asleep with your wallet conveniently in your pocket."
We both walked silently back to our dorm room where Liam picked up his backpack, and I flopped down on my bed.
“You know you’ve missed three classes already this term. Prof might dock your grade if you miss another class.”
I closed my eyes and got comfortable. “I’m not worried seeing as I have a 110% in that class. Let him lower my grade, like I give a f.” Yeah, I was arrogant when it came to academics, but I had a right to be. I got tired of people assuming I was stupid because I didn’t try. It was quite the opposite actually. I got tested at a young age, so I was registered for MENSA by my 10th birthday. I’d steal Liam’s notes later and read them over. Thank God for a photographic memory.
He left and I quickly fell asleep, still tired from my restless night before. I woke up around two hours later and craved nothing but a large cup of coffee.
I quickly showered, changed, and walked down to my new favorite coffee shop. The bell above the door at Bean rang as I walked inside. The days were starting to get much colder, and I welcomed the warmth the shop had to offer.
I mustered as much confidence as I could and strutted towards the counter, ready to be my usual cocky self. That was until I looked down towards the register and saw Riley curled up into a ball on her stool, a single tissue clutched in her hand. I could hear her labored breathing from here.
“What's wrong?” I instantly asked, I had forgotten all about that coffee and attitude I came into the store with.
She coughed a few time before finally bringing herself to her feet. I looked towards the coffee machines to see if Erin was there, but, instead, stood the lady who I had met last time. She was clearly their boss.
“I’ve just come down with a little flu. It's no big deal.” Her voice was hoarse, and it sounded like speaking at all was causing her an immense amount of pain.
“What can I get for ya?” she gave me a weak smile and I could see her fighting the illness inside her. Only Ry would work through the flu.
I turn towards her boss, whose name I long ago forgot, and gave her my most brilliant smile. “Hi, there. We’ve met before a couple weeks ago.” I could tell by the expression on her face that she’d remembered me. I wanted to roll my eyes at her pathetic attempt to seduce me. She was miserably failing. “I think it’s best if Riley comes with me. She’s awfully sick, and she really does need her rest. I’ll make sure she’s better so she can come back to work as soon as possible!” I haven’t met someone yet who could resist me when I downright pleaded to them. Well, maybe one person.
“Oh, of course! I’ve been telling her all morning that I have it covered, but this silly, stubborn girl refuses to listen to me!” she chuckles and bats her eyelashes. She turned towards Riley and in her fakest and most cheerful voice said, “Now go get some sleep. We don’t need all of the customer’s infected! I’m sure this handsome young man can take good care of you.” She couldn’t seem to stop blushing.
Riley’s weak protests were quickly silenced when I went around the counter and untied the apron from her back and gently lifted it over her head. I hung it on the hook where several others seemed to be.
“Go get your stuff, and I’ll wait for you here,” I said softly. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets. As much as I wanted to touch every single inch of her body, I knew that she was unwell, and my only intention was to make sure that she was ok.
I lead her out of the café and towards her dorm room. I saw her shoulders visibly relax when she realized that we are not going back to my room.
“Where’s Erin? I thought you two usually worked the same shifts.” Something had to be going on there. Not only are those two attached at the hip, but Erin would have never let her gone to work when she’s this sick.
She coughed and pulled another tissue out of her pocket and dabbing at her nose before she answered my question. “She had to go home for the weekend. Some of her family from out of town came in, and they wanted to catch up with her.”
Erin was from a little outside New York City. It was nowhere close enough to be able to come back every night to sleep at the dorms.
“And when did you get sick?” I had only seen her a few days ago. I’m surprised she went from fine to this bad in under 5 days.
“I started feeling gross the day after I spent an all-nighter in the library. I thought I just needed more sleep. Erin had to leave the next day when I started feeling even worse, but I didn’t want her to cancel her plans to see her family. They’re almost never in town. I can take care of myself anyway.” She shrugged like it was no big deal and pulled out her keys, letting us into her building. Thank God she lived on the first floor.
My fists went into balls in my pockets. She clearly had no clue how to take care of herself. I breezed into her dorm room and went straight for the first aid kit that Erin always keeps under her bed. I remember she did the same things last year. That girl is nothing if not prepared. I looked through it quickly, noticing that she had added a few other items. I pulled out the Tylenol and shook two out of its container. I also took out a disposable thermometer.
“Here, stick this under your tongue.” I need to make sure I don’t need to take her to an ER rather than just put her to bed.
She silently obliged and put the strip under her tongue while I went to her fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. I handed her the pills as she pulled the plastic away from her lips. She quickly swallowed both of them while I took a look at her temperature, a whopping 101. I went into her bathroom and took a fresh washcloth and ran it under cold water before ringing it out.
“You need to get in bed and get out of all of those thick clothes,” I told her. She had herself bundled in probably three different shirts, not including her jacket. "You're running a fever, so we need to cool you down as much as possible, and I don’t think you want to take a cold shower.” Lord knows I’ll need one once I leave here. Even sick, she’s captivating.
“Turn around,” she commanded me in her raspy voice. I could hear the rustling of her clothes, and, a minute later, she put her hand on my shoulder.
I turned to see her only wearing a pair of short yoga pants and a camisole that concealed nothing. A light growl rumbled in my chest, and I couldn't keep my hands at bay. I put them around her waist and lead her back towards her bed.
“Lie down,” was all I said. I couldn’t manage more than a whisper. I didn't trust my voice at that moment. I laid the washcloth across her head, and she closed her eyes.
“I’ll be sitting right over here, dandelion,” I whispered down to her and lightly kissed her on her cheek. I hadn’t used that old nickname on her in forever, and I could feel her body tighten when I said it. She knew I was making a reference to the dandelion tattoo she had on her rib cage she got the week after I met her. She never did tell me exactly why she got it, maybe that’s why I adopted that nickname for her.
I leaned back in her desk chair until the front legs were off the ground and my back was against the wall. I did a quick mental calculation of everything that she still needed before she was able to get better. She only had a couple water bottles left in her fridge, hardly enough, and there weren’t too many thermometer strips left. I pulled out my phone and began typing a text to Liam.
Alec: Hey I need you to go get some things for you, don’t worry I’ll pay you back later. No you can’t ask any questions now. I need a case of bottled water, a thermometer, some flu meds, and chicken soup from that restaurant we went to last week.
It doesn’t even take him two minutes to respond to me. He must have known that something was up.
Liam: And where should all of this be delivered to?
I’m momentarily surprised that he actually went along with what I said and didn’t bombard me with rounds of questions. I responded with only one word.
Alec: Riley’s
He knew where she lived. We had cut our ties the previous year but that didn't mean I didn’t look out for the both of them. Just to make sure they were okay and all, not out of any real concern. I glanced down at my phone, which vibrated telling me he would be there in 30 minutes.
I walked back towards her and rested the back of my hand against her flushed cheeks. I could still feel her burning up, a sheen of sweat had covered her body. I got another cold washcloth and slowly began to rub it against her skin, trying to cool her down in as many places as possible. When I finished running the cloth over all her exposed skin, I folded it over and placed it behind her neck.
“Thank you” I barely heard her say and she quickly fell asleep. Before I could do anything else, I received an incoming call from Liam which must mean he was by the downstairs door waiting for me to let him in.
I took her keys and didn’t close her door all the way before heading down the single flight of stairs where I saw him standing outside with a large brown paper bag in his hands.
“Thanks, man” I took it from him and turned to go back inside.
“Hold on,” he said and grabbed my arm stopping me. I turned around and let him into the building before the door alarm went off from me holding it open too long.
“Is she ok?” he asked first, cutting immediately to the point.
I shrugged my shoulders and slowly began to nod my head. It was my personal mission to make sure she was going to be ok. “She’ll get there, but she has a nasty case of the flu.”
He shuffled back and forth between his feet and looked towards them when he said, “Just help her, man. Don’t use this as some kind of personal vendetta. Yes, she’s a bitch, but now is not the time to f with her. You’ve done enough.”
While I knew he was right, I was still a little insulted. We made a decision last fall and I had no doubt about what we did. He shouldn’t either. The stupid idiot did have emotions, though.
“I’ll give you the cash once I get back to my room. I don’t have any on me now.” I turned and started walking up the stairs and opened the hallway door. I looked back over my shoulder through the small window on the door, but he was already gone.
When I made it back to her room, she was sitting up in bed, the side of her head rested against the wall, and she was holding her stomach.
“Liam just brought over some necessary goods for you. Feeling any better?” Truthfully I was scared to know the answer. Either I was taking her to an emergency room or getting my ass kicked out the door as soon as possible. I really wasn’t interested in either option.
“My headache's gone, but my stomach's beginning to hurt.” Her eyes were closed and she slowly licked her lips.
“It’s probably because you haven’t had anything to eat. I’m guessing you skipped over breakfast and lunch?” I pulled out the soup from the bag and was glad to find a bowl and spoon in there as well. Liam really does consider it all. I poured the soup into the bowl and used one of her beloved psychology books as a small makeshift table for her to use. I took the flu medicine out of its packaging and made her take it before I would hand her the food.
She quickly ate up, and as I took the bowl away from her, she lay back down and was back asleep within seconds. I took out the thermometer and stuck it under her tongue. I blew out a sigh of relief when I saw it had dropped to 99.8. At least it was falling and not getting any higher. I unloaded the water Liam bought and put it in her fridge, along with the rest of the soup, and set the flu medicine and thermometer on top.
I looked around to see if there was anything else that needed to be done, but her room was in perfect order. Erin must make sure they both have it clean at all times. I desperately wanted to stay, but there was no reason for me to, and I know that if I did, I was going to make myself seem like a bigger ass than I already was. I leaned towards her and gave her a light kiss on her cheek and whispered, “Call me if you need anything. I’ll be here in an instant, always.”
I turned around, locked the door from the inside, and left her fast asleep, and, hopefully, dreaming about me.

I awoke to sunlight streaming through my windows, which I thought had been closed, and looked toward Erin’s bed to find her sitting on it and unpacking the last of her things from her weekend trip.


“Hey, when did you get back?” my voice wasn’t as hoarse as it was the day before, but sounded starchy instead.


“Like an hour ago. I thought you had class now anyway, or did you decide to take a mental health day instead?”


I quickly sat up and looked towards my alarm clock, which told me it was 9:30 in the morning. “Holy shit! I just slept for 13 hours straight!” I began freaking out as I ran around my room trying to get dressed and pack my books into my backpack at the same time.


"Woah, slow down there, girl. First off, you are not going to class. You already missed the first half, and you look like you could use a shower. Also, when did you finally get your head out of the toilet and buy yourself some meds? I told you before I left to take something. Thank God you did or you would still be sick in bed.”


I had to grab the wall for support when all of the memories from the day before came flooding back to me.


“Alec,” I whispered and whipped my head around the room, but obviously he left some time in the evening.


“What about that loser? I thought we said that his name was a no-go, like Voldemort. If you say his name, some guy in a cape appears and kills you.”


“For starters, it’s not a cape. It is a robe, and he was here last night.” I noticed the medicine and thermometer on the fridge, and inside I find the soup he had gotten for me along with a dozen more bottles of water.


“What do you mean he was here? I was gone for three days, and it seems that all hell breaks loose. Did you sleep with him? Because if you did, we need to get you tested for every known disease possible, and also check that there isn’t a demon growing inside of you.”


I give her a deadpan expression. “No, I didn’t sleep with him. I had to work the evening shift at Bean yesterday and he came in and saw how sick I was. He convinced Amanda that he should take me back to my room, and then, he stayed with me for a while to make sure I was okay. Even got me food and medicine.” I realized how sweet his actions actually were last night. For once, I didn’t want to kill him after seeing him.


When I looked towards Erin, she had a dumbstruck expression on her face. “Wait, you're telling me he actually can act like a decent human being? I'm not sure if I believe this. You're sure you weren’t delirious and made all of this up? Is there any photographic evidence?”


I pull out my phone and send him a quick text, just to say thank you. He really did help me last night. I don’t know what I would have done on my own.


I get a response almost immediately. The only thing it says is always. I sighed and flopped back on my bed, content with going to none of my classes that day. We all deserve a break once in a while.


“I really need to start being here more. It seems like the two of you are magnets or something. You just can seem to stay away from each other.”


“I agree, but, right now, I’m not so sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Two weeks ago, I would have sworn nothing could be worse, but it was nice to see a different side of him yesterday, a side that cares. For awhile, I didn’t think that part of him even existed.”


“You know I still might hurt him just for the thrill of it. Don’t deny this excitement that I have been building up over the last year. You’d be crushing my very small soul.” She clutched her chest and tightened her face in fake anguish.


“Oh, calm down. The guy is no saint. He just did something nice for me. He’ll probably come to me next week thinking I owe him something in return for his actions.”


Erin nodded her head, knowing that I’m most likely right. “You know what we need,” she suddenly perked up in bed and grabbed her cell phone.


“What?” I called from the bathroom, about to take that much needed shower.


“Chinese food!” Erin screamed so loud I’m sure the people down the hall were able to hear her. I poked my head out of the door, my body only wrapped in a towel, and looked at her with confusion on my face.


“Um, Erin you know that it’s only, like, ten in the morning, correct? It’s basically breakfast hour, and I think Chinese is more of a dinner.” I can’t keep the slight laughter out of my voice, leave it to Erin to think that, in a time like this, the only thing that could solve our problems is some good food. Sadly, she’s really not wrong.


Instead of answering me, she started punching numbers in her phone and held it up next to her ear, her eyes never leaving mine. “Yeah, it’s Erin. I need two orders of general tso’s chicken, eggrolls, and a shit load of fortune cookies.” I know she doesn’t have to give them our address. They’ve known who we were since the second week our freshman year.


I shook my head and went into the bathroom to attempt to clean some of this sickness off of me, along with Alec’s scent. By the time I was out of the shower and dressed, Erin had the bag of food sitting in the middle of the floor. Welcome to New York, I guess. Our service has always been speedy.


Erin was already digging into the chicken, her back resting against her bed and her knees pulled up where her chicken was resting. I sat Indian style across from her and pulled my own food out of the bag. It was several moments before either of us spoke.


I took a long gulp of water before attempting to speak. “So, tell me again why you always need to order 9,000 extra fortune cookies. You don’t even eat them! You just read what they have to say, over sexualize what they're telling you, and then throw it all away.”


She stuffed her face with a few more bits before talking, with her mouth full of course. “Dude, we need some good luck in our lives. Let the magic genie writing these on some desert hilltop help us out.”


“Uh, honey, you know that these are mass produced in some factory right? I don’t think anything will actually come from them.”


“I refuse to accept your answer. This is like that time last year when you told me that the only way to get into our building was through the secure front door, but then, I proved your ass wrong by climbing through the window!” I was still sore from the $50 I lost from that bet.


“I’m still going with the fact that you broke the rules when you had your, at the time, boy-toy prop you up so you could break the glass in the hallway window,” I shook my head and started laughing, “but it was nice when you blamed the broken glass on the bitches across from us. That $100 fine sure did teach them how to shut up at night.”


We threw away our food and went into cracking the cookies. I ate half of mine before pulling out the crumpled piece of paper. “Got it!” I screamed, beating Erin on who gets to read first. I coughed and said in my most dramatic voice possible, “'You must let go of something before you can capture it for good.'” I stared at it for a couple seconds and try to internalize what it was telling me, which related a little too closely to my life at the moment.


She pulled out her's and threw the cookies and wrappings back into the bag. “My turn, bitch. It says, 'Oops, wrong cookie.' What? You have got to be kidding me. I can’t even make this one sexual. I was gypped.” She crossed her arms over her chest and puffed like a small child, a huge frown covering her face.


“Okay. Well, luckily, you made sure that we got a ton of cookies. I’m sure that you can find one in this bag that will satisfy you,” I tried to say with a straight face, but I couldn’t help from slightly laughing at her reaction to her cookie.


We sat in the middle of our floor reading the rest of the cookies until we were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe anymore.


“You were right. This is exactly what we needed today.” I looked over towards my phone and saw that it was already noon. “I didn’t get any work done while you were away! Ugh, I’m going to be up all night again.”


“What you need to do is stop doing so much work! You are crazy.” She stood and put the rest of our trash into the take out bag and threw it away in the trashcan in the hallway.


I rolled onto my stomach and pulled my phone closer to me. “First off, you don’t take any classes, or at least any hard classes. Damn you for having such an easy major. Why didn’t I think to major in communications! I would be a great party planner.”


She put her hands on her hips and slowly shook her head down at me. “Oh, honey. You would miserably fail, and we both know it. Isn’t that why I had to drive two hours to your house last summer because you decided to throw your brother a welcome home party and basically collapsed and burned? Or am I just imagining that?”


I squinted my eyes towards her, throwing her as much shade as possible. “Hey, it was a big deal! Tobias was pumped to finally be returning home from basic training. An Army themed party was necessary.”


“How is he by the way? Is he still as ripped as he was over the summer? You know I think I need to come visit you more when he’s home and its acceptable weather to not wear a shirt.” She gave herself a smug little smile before flopping unceremoniously down onto her bed.


“You know you're talking about my brother, right? The same kid who used to dunk me in our pool every time we went swimming and almost got kicked out of high school for starting a fight.”


“All I am saying is that your brother did a fine job of growing up, and its not like he’s your little bitty brother or anything. The guy is 24 years old. I am allowed to appreciate beauty when I see it, and what I really mean is that he should be the new face of Calvin Klein.”


I picked up a pen that was lying next to me and chucked it towards her, hoping to get in a good shot. From the scream I heard coming from her a second later, I knew I succeeded.


“You are insane! You know that, right?” she called down from her bed.


I stretched my arms above my head and groaned. While I would rather sit in my room all day and be as lazy as possible, I knew that my work needed to be finished.


“I’m going to the library for a few hours to get the last bit of my work done," I shouted to Erin. This time I would choose a more hidden spot to study. I didn’t need any more Alec distractions for the rest this week. I’d seen more of him recently than I have in months, and that slightly concerned me.


“Whatever, loser. Don’t drown in all those big words you need to memorize. While you are wasting away over some textbook, I will be curled up in bed with my love, reading the night away.”


“Stop calling your Kindle 'the love of your life'. It's creepy. We really need to get you out more.” I grabbed my backpack and headed towards the door, mentally preparing myself for the cold weather. I quickly pulled my hat on and got my gloves out from my pocket, realizing that I should probably wear them.


“Good luck, girl. I hope I see you before class tomorrow morning.”


I chuckled and closed the door behind me. She would definitely not be seeing me tonight. I always had enough work to last me for days. While my mind had been full of the dramatic turn of my life recently, I cleared that all away, knowing that my schoolwork always came first.



~


The blaring of my phone alarm jumped me back into reality. I groaned, scrubbed my hands against my face, and, finally, shut down my laptop, which had been going nonstop throughout the night. I looked around the cluttered table I had in the library and knew it would take me several minutes to pack up all of these books and papers. Luckily, I had managed to do all of my work last night, and even got in a good 30-minute nap. But 8 a.m. lectures have always been painful, and nothing is worse when I have to go to one on barely any sleep.


My phone started beeping and I knew Erin was probably making sure I was awake, she would never go to class alone.


Erin: You better be awake. I already don’t wanna go to this class. Don’t give me a reason to skip again!


I chuckled and told her I would meet her outside the lecture hall in 15 minutes, which would give me plenty of time to grab a muffin before arriving.


I gave my shirt a quick sniff and shrugged. I really needed to have a change of clothes in my bag all times (girl could never be too prepared), but this would have to do for today. I didn’t smell that bad. I pulled my hair up into a messy top knot and left the library which was slowly becoming my new home.


The line at the café took me forever and I had to run across campus to make it on time for class.


“Sorry!” I called to Erin as soon as I saw her standing outside the classroom. She had her arms crossed over her chest and her hip cocked to one side. I knew she was probably mad I was late. Erin didn't handle tardiness to well, or really at all.


I wiped the remaining crumbs off my face and gave her my most dazzling smile. “I told you I would be here! I’m running on less than an hour of sleep right now, so you are not allowed to lecture me until I’ve at least had a three hour nap!”


She scrutinized me for a minute before saying, “Deal. And I think I know exactly what you need right now.”


My face broke out into an ear-splitting grin. “DANCE PARTY.” We both screamed simultaneously and begin laughing.


“I have the perfect song, but we only have two minutes before we need to get inside.”


I dropped my backpack onto the floor and wiggled my shoulders, ready for our favorite tradition.


She turned on a Maroon 5 song, and we both got lost in our sudden spur of the moment dancing. We always did this when one of us was extremely tired, hungry, or was just having a horrible day. It always woke us up and made us just a little bit happier.


I threw my head back and began laughing feeling free; not caring who was watching or thinking we finally lost our minds.


After our limited time was up, we both stopped and fixed our hair before looking around. We always got funny stares from those watching. A couple times, people have even tried to join us. Luckily, it seemed like nobody was around, so I pulled open the lecture hall door and ushered Erin in before myself.


I suddenly felt a tingling sensation wash over me and sensed someone watching us. I turned and looked back towards the doors to the building and saw Alec leaning against one of the support poles, an unrecognizable expression on his face. I gave him a tight lipped smile and followed Erin inside.