“Okay, Lilly, no need to be afraid,” I muttered. I have been singing for as long as I could remember, but I have a huge problem. I have terrible stage fright. There wasn’t anyway in hell I could go on stage and not pass out.
I was going to go to a school contest last year in choir but I chickened out at the last minute…it was really embarrassing, to not go up and face my fear that I had badly wanted to overcome.
This year, though, I want it to be different. I was going to really try and attempt to do it, after all, it was everything to me. Singing is my life. Music is my life. Always have, and always will. Glancing at the clock, it was almost 12:30 in the afternoon and I still wasn’t ready to go and sign up for the school’s musical in the spring.
I took a deep breath, counted to 10 and got up from my sitting position to stand and walked over to the counter that sat at the end of the schools office, and my nerves were bouncing off the walls.
I made my best brave face, picked up the pen that set on the edge of the paper, and sighed my name and information hesitantly because I wasn’t for sure if I could do this. It was only a few months away, and I couldn’t even sing in front of my best friend. once I got that done, I put the pen back down on top of the paper and debated for a minute on if I should or should not scribble out my name but I could only try and see what happens, and I turned and walked away and quickly made my way back to the parking lot to get in my little red car. I was exited, nervous, terrified all rolled into one. I couldn’t wait to tell my best friend, Darren I signed up, who also lives next door to me, literally a door away from me. our dorms where connected to each other, it was easy to get to him, but I could just call him on his cell, but I decided that I wanted to hell him in person, after all, he was the only one who ever encouraged me to keep singing and never give up on what I really wanted in life, to never let go of my dreams. He hasn’t exactly heard me sing, but he would. One of these days, but just not today.
Once I got home, I walked in, and placed my keys in a little bowl that always sat in the middle of the kitchen table and walked up stair case to go to my room. The apartment I live in is huge, just like a huge mansion.

We just have this deep connection were nobody knows except us, what kind of relationship we have. It’s almost we can read each others emotions or thoughts. Sometimes I think it’s both.
I walked to my bedroom and went to my closet to find something to wear. I found a flannel shirt with tattered jeans but good looking.
I threw a sweater on to keep warm just before walking out of my room.

I walked down the hallway and slowly walked down the staircase letting my hand trail down the rail.

Once down the stairs I walked into the hallway where the living room was. It was very old fashioned, had a fireplace, it had wood in it, slowly warming the room.
Darren must have put firewood in there last night.
The kitchen was huge and wide enough so you can actually walk though it, unlike the apartment I was living in a while back and the guest bedroom was also a decent size.
This house was old enough to be my great-great grandma’s house, but I absolutely loved it, and if a tornado came by, it wouldn’t get knocked down. It is made up of bricks. Stealthy bricks I might add. Plus there has been F4 tornados passing by in the past, before I moved in, and barely a scratch got on it. It was practically indestructible.
My best friend Darren, as I said before, stays in the guest bedroom, and has been living here for 5 years now- we are not a couple though.
It wouldn’t be possible.
We have been best friends forever. And it’s not one bit awkward with living in the same house. It’s probably because we known each other for a long time. Since we were little, maybe 6 years old at the most. We both go to the same collage so it all works out, too.
He doesn’t really have a place to go and it doesn’t help that his parents were killed in a car wreck a while back.
So when that happened, I let him stay.

Well... I practically drug him in the house, I even went to his apartment and started gathering up all of his things. I wasn’t about to let him live alone. I felt alone when my parents died, too, and I have always felt responsible for him.

He never told me much about it; which didn’t bother me that he didn’t want to talk about it, because it was understandable.
I had to go through the same thing, which was a weird coincidence, because it happened during the same time frame.
I never did forget that day though. The day my parents died.
I remember when I found out about the accident, valentine was the one who told me first, he was driving right behind them, and then the police, a few hours later, but I was in a trance, so to speak, and I remember the rain pouring down outside, the storm that wouldn’t ever end, it was on a late night on June 21, 2020. I remember when Darren was holding me while I cried.
His shirt was drowned in tears but he didn’t complain. He just kept holding me closer and closer. I was comforted with him holding me to him. like he never was going to let go.
He is tall, dark, handsome, and furiously protective.
Of me.
It’s like even one minute he thinks something’s going to happen to me, he goes all alpha on me. He doesn’t even let me go to work without him with me.
When he is mad or upset, he goes insane and when I say that, I mean full blown rage if someone even tries to touch me, protectiveness, or rage, especially the guys I have dated; which was only 2 and they both ended pretty quick. And one got a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.

And man, did he go wild with rage when one of them tried to kiss me. He tries to hide it, but I know him better then that. I would have thought he was jealous for how mad he gets, but its not like that with him and me.

He gets this dangerous look when he is pissed off, and his eyes glow a bright blue color, sometimes they switch colors, like from blue, to black, to red…not very…human like.
He gets that way when somebody gives me a strange look and he ignores it when it’s appointed at him. He got pissed off when other guys at school teased me about my looks, he still does.

I am a tom-boy. I don’t wear skirts up to where my butt was showing. I didn’t wear dresses. I don’t wear anything girly-girl. Unless on a few occasions. Other then that, forget it.
I’m a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. So those people can just worry about their lives and not mine. Because I wasn’t going to dress like that. Though they don’t probably have much of a life from what I hear that goes around the school, and boy does that piss Darren off.
Most of them are about us. Some was about us sneaking into the bathroom, doing things to one another and making out in corners, which were not true at all.

Victor probably doesn’t even think of me that way; and although I have never seen him with a girlfriend, or just a girl unless that girl was me.
I think sometimes he likes me more then a friend but I think I see things that are not really there.
He is there when I need him, so it didn’t matter, because he is all that I could ever ask for. He is my light in my darkest times.
I’m glad I have somebody to count on.
He has always been there, and there are times when I think he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
Anyways, when I rounded the corner to the doorway in the living room, I seen that Alexander was on the couch, watching the news and I could tell by the look on his face, he didn’t look too happy.
His eyes were stormy gray. A sign that he is worried and pissed off to no end.
Like just when a storm starts taking place at a beach. He does have one of the most beautiful faces I have ever encountered, to tell you the truth, he is the only guy I actually would consider liking.
There were people talking on the TV saying people hiking in the woods and just disappearing out of nowhere. There were pictures that looked so gory I had to look away but Darren noticed me.
He came to my side in less then a heartbeat it seemed like. He moves so fast. Sometimes I wonder if he is even human, but that’s just me being silly.

“It’s alright, I won’t let anything happen to you,” he said in a soft husky voice, and I believed him, because he has always looked after me since kindergarten. He is like my own personal guardian angel. I wrapped my arms around his big frame and snuggled up to him. He wrapped his arms around me as if it came naturally to him. It was natural for me. It felt nice. I looked up at him. He was so…tall and big…. He was getting near 6 foot 8.
He towered over me, since I’m only 5 foot 5, but I actually love my shortness, even though it’s a pain because I have to crane my head back just to look up at him all the time, but It wasn’t so bad. I have actually gotten used to it.
Sort of.
“Darren..,” I started to say.
“Yes, Lila?” Lila was a nickname that only Darren and my grandmother uses.

He has been calling me that a while, but when he says my full name, I get the chills.
The good ones, of course, but that always happens to me.

He has a bad habit of doing that, but it’s cute. “Yes?” I looked away and tried to hide a smile and leaned my head on his chest.
“Never mind,” I mumbled.
Now he looked at me funny, and stared at me for a moment. All to knowing look he gave me.
I sighed.
“Come on we need to go and shop for paint and clothes,” Since he painted and we both needed some fall and winter clothes.
I figured it was time to go get more paint because we are running short, and he does get bored too easily, but I noticed, not so much around me and I noticed his clothes were either shrinking or Alex was just growing buffer and buffer by the days that go by in a blink of an eye.

* * * *
When we got to Wall-mart we stopped a couple blocks away because the parking lot was packed.
It wasn’t that far to walk and I needed the exercise. When I mentioned something about getting a treadmill for exercising for this winter valentine looked at me weirdly.
“What’s that look for?”
Valentine sighed softly, “You don’t need to exercise. You are perfect and you better not think that I will let you starve yourself to death or exercise yourself to death.” I stared at him wide-eyed and said , “I never said anything about starving myself, I just said I needed the treadmill so I can have something to do during the summer. You know how I get sunburn easily when I am outside,” Darren just shook his head and mumbled to himself underneath his breath.
Once inside, Darren walked to the men’s clothing department, and I slowly walked to the women’s to get more fall clothing.
It was October so it was getting chilly again but this was my favorite time of year.
It felt good to me, and plus I hate the summer time because of the bright sunlight and hot weather, I hated going in the sunlight. I’m kind of like a vampire I know, but I just don’t like going outside during any hot weather. I just burn. I am not tan, but not so pale either.

While I was looking at hoodies and sweat pants, I saw that victor was walking away from the men’s section and was looking completely lost.
I laughed softly under my breath and walked over to help him. He didn’t care much for stores and he didn’t know much of where everything was even though we lived here forever. I was starting to wonder if he…well….ever went shopping in this town, when I wasn’t with him.
I was walking toward him when I noticed the hardened expression on his face.
“What is it?” I asked as I stopped in front of him.

He walked closer so our chest were touching, closing the distance between us and I gasped softly when he leaned down and said quietly in my ear, “a man behind you… well he is looking for some trouble by the way he is eyeing you,”
“What?” I asked confused and shriveled around to see a creepy face staring right at the both of us.
Hair basically covered his face with a beard, pointy nose, big belly, muscular almost, and dark black eyes peering over at both of us.
It was like he was ready to eat us at any moment. Like he didn’t have a meal in over a week.
I shivered.
The man that was staring at us looked pissed, “What is his problem?” Darren looked down at me and sighed.
“Nothing, do worry about it,”
I glowered at him and he glowered back for what it seemed like forever. Then he finally gave in with a sigh escaping his lips.
“Alright….…. he looked like he was about to jump you, he was looking at you like you were something to eat and I wouldn’t if I where him, he would be a dead man if he did, or even tried or even thought it,” I stared wide-eyed at him.
“Okay let’s go this way” and I grabbed his hand, towing him to the men’s changing rooms. We got some pretty decent clothes so we went for the guys first, then after Alex got done, we headed toward the girls changing rooms.
Just when I was about to shut the door he placed his foot in the crack.
“I’m not leaving you alone in there”. I glared at him. There was no way in hell he is coming in there with me.
He had the look as if to say, “Try me”.
“I’m not leaving you in there unprotected.” He said softly, and he said it to where you could barely resist him, and he is a pretty stubborn person to deal with to begin with, and very persuasive.
“Why do you feel the need to protect me all the time? Protect me from what? I’m just going in the other room. I will be fine. There is a door where you can stand at and still guard me without snooping on everything I do.” I snapped at him.
“Everything or anyone that even tries to harm you Lila, that’s why.”
“But…there isn’t anyone here that can harm me.” I argued. Not at the moment at least and plus it was just going to not even 10 minutes.
“Lila, please….I promise I won’t look while you’re dressing, I’ll be good,” he pleaded.
“Nice try, but no,” I frowned at him. That got me thinking, “Why do you want in there with me so bad, huh? There isn’t nothing to see besides plain old me dressing,” I barely got through that last sentence when he came up to me.
Too close.
He was right inside my breathing space and I could smell his intoxicating scent. It was mint. And he smelled a little bit like pine, a woodsy smell of the outdoors. My brain was clouding by the second.

“Lila, there NOTHING, I mean nothing, that is plain about you, you have the most gorgeous smile, the most amazing laugh and I could listen to it all day if I could. You are a strong women. Hell you’re feisty, and that’s one of the many things I love about you. You’re too stubborn for your own good too,” he said quietly, and I lost myself when he said those things about me. I could have been all teary if we weren’t in public. He said loved…I wondered what else he thought of me, but I couldn’t think. I was focusing on not bursting into tears.
I hated crying. It’s one of my many weaknesses, and I absolutely hate looking so weak; even if it was making me happy.
Especially in front of him, it’s even worse. He has seen me break down more then once. It was terrible. I sighed and gave into him, because I knew he was going to win this argument anyways. He drives me crazy so much.
“Fine but you are turning around….and NO peaking,” I scolded him.
“Alright, I promise I won’t peak…maybe” He grinned and chuckled but turned around and shut the door behind us.
I’m so going to hell for this.
I sighed but quickly tried to put on a pair of black skinny jeans to see what size and got them on but I almost tripped over my own two feet because valentine was in here with me and that made me really nervous and I cursed myself for being so clumsy and stupid.
There, perfect.
The mirror was in front of me, so Alex couldn’t see me in the mirror, peeking at me…even though the thought gave me a thrill.
I blushed darkly.
That was when I noticed Daren being very tense. He was holding his ground; like he was waiting for something to come into the room at any moment.
I sighed.
He looked a little too wound up for even thinking about snooping on me while I was dressing.
“Are you alright?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah,” He rasped.
He almost looked behind him but he stopped himself. It was like he wanted to look at me, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“What is it?” And he took a deep breath and slowly turned to look at me with bright stark blue eyes, gleaming with fear, confusion, but most of all, the heat and intensity of his stare. It made my heart flutter.
It was a good feeling.
He looked like he was about to gobble me up in 3 bites….I wouldn’t have minded, which scared me.
I shook myself mentally. I shouldn’t be thinking these things of my best friend. He was always there when nobody else would. He is like the big brother I never had.
I prayed that I had the strength to not attack HIM. Or we would both be in trouble, and I would never forgive myself for being so stupid and letting my emotions get in the way of our friendship.
Darren inhaled and reached out like he was going to grab me, but as soon as I thought he was going to squish me into a hug, he spins away from me, clenching his fists at his sides. The knuckles turning white.