Since then, Becky always seemed too friendly giving me way too much attention! I knew something was definitely up.

But to be honest something else caught my attention the whole time. The tall best friend of Rayne, He seemed quite nice and also made fun of most of the time. Something about him caught my attention. I guess I was never center of his attention anyway.

Just when I thought it was finally the end of the horrifying week, Becky invited all of us to her house for the weekend*as if I wanted to spend my weekend listening to her made up stories and her exs trying to seduce her* Me being stupid as ever accepted her invitation and went to her house.

Here I was getting ready with fancy clothes on celebrating my doom to come.
Surprise!Surprise! I was the only one who showed up with a present in my hand. I literally thanked my parents for being strict and not letting me sleepover at her house.

Hey Elvira!!!It's so nice to see you*Yes!She hugged me* We went inside her room and out of nowhere(not quite flabbergasted) came stories flowing about the rest of the girls and how I am completely different from them..
Becky: "You know Elvira, once Jena told the girls she set the us up with some sexy,hunky guys, and that they would be visiting anytime, We waited for hours but no one showed up, the b**** lied to all of us the next morning bringing up some shitty lie and to be honest her 'bff' Chelsea is the sluttiest of all-she has had sex before" Worst of all : Can you be my best friend was the question that knocked me off guard. I couldn't believe the things that were coming at me.

Then she shifted her b**** slapping attitude to 'crushes', Of course no surprise she liked Rayne and I felt quite cool for knowing her secret and I sorta told her I liked his best friend but then felt stupid for doing so because she started telling me stories of how he's dating and what a player he is.

I was about to leave when she said she wants me to make a 'pack' with her and her 2 girls: Michelle and Kim. And that pack kinda involved me telling them all the secrets of my classmates meaning Jena and Chelsea! I then felt used but my guts said Yes to her.

*Oh C'mon Elvira! They are rivals, What did I just get myself into-A mess that's right*

I woke up with a pain in my stomach, not wanting to go to school. Yes! the pain of guilt.
But it wasn't a choice whether the to go to school or not because my mom would know somethings up...

Since the time I entered the school Becky would give me weird stares as if she was in control of me. Part of me wanted to stand up and bail my self out of this jail but part of me was scared of loosing the 'fake friends' I had. Finally she dragged me inside the toilet with Michelle and Kim, And she told them about the 'Plan' and they seemed pretty neutral. but by this time Jena and Chelsea knew something was up..

I deserved to be blown off by them considering what I was doing to them.. The whole day I was forced to hang out with Becky and her stories about how Rayne likes her. I honestly had other plans but if I wanted to fit in Becky was the only way!!

*A WEEK LATER*
I was pricked with pain inside every second because of what I was doing to myself.. Becky was successful in getting what she wanted but at the end of the day I went around the school to see my brother when I saw Jena and Chel.
After just few seconds I realized i was being followed by Becky and her girls. Becky saw me with Jen and Chel..She gave me the most horrifying look of death I knew I was done for the rest of my life.

*At home**CRY CRY CRY* AND *CRY*
I couldn't bring myself to tell my mom what I did and how it backfired..I felt sick and talking of sick my phone rang and guess who it was? It was Becky!
and She said to me
;'B****! I trusted you and this is how you repay me? We are no more best friends. I cant believe what a backstabbing b**** you are!'
And there it was, the price i had to pay the price I deserved to pay.. But I called back to tell her what really happened but she took none of it. She kept calling me to insult me.
*Whore* She didn't even have enough call but to flash.
It wasn't long enough before my mom knew what was wrong well who wouldn't the constant calling wasting of credit and the crying not to mention falling grades.

Anyhoe, the next day I was still welcomed by Chel and Jen who still indirectly told me their secrets but confronted me about Becky and her schemes.. I denied everything. Becky on the other hand ignored me completely, although Michelle and Kim greeted me. I figured they were very nice people but was under Becky's schemes and plots. I walked up to Becky and asked her to talk to me but the only thing she did was to ignore me acted as if I was completely invisible.. I kept yelling 'BECKY BECKY PLEASE TALK TO ME' But no none of that warmed the witch's heart.
I ended up going to the toilet crying and spent the rest of the day crying..

Yes- What have I done to myself? Did I deserve this much coldness? I invited the darkness into my world and only I am to be blamed for it....

After that terrifying day, all I wanted was to go into a coma but wait... Becky wouldn't let that happen in any way.

Duh BECKY BECKY BECKY BECKY she was everywhere! She was a nightmare!
How? She kept calling and calling finally I broke down into tears and I explained everything to my mom. She said she wasn't that surprise and that I should learn from all this. Of course who said fitting in would be easy? I knew exactly what she meant.

2 days later...
I was a complete mess, Becky ruined my self-esteem. Going to school rather than the normal sad feeling was like dragging me to hell. Besides that, I didn't really have a true friend there. The crush I had was completely ruined
*flashback*
I was dared my Becky and her gang to flirt with the tall bff of Rayne.. Joseph and I did and little by little he was becoming closer but the dare wasn't all that finished. I was asked to date him. They confronted me and Jo at the same time and I was asked to speak up and somehow we were a couple? Were we?
My small time happiness was completely shattered when I went through Jo's messages and found out he had a another gf but to be honest I didn't feel anything at all..maybe a bit of depression but ...

It took me one week to understand that my hormones got the best of me and I let myself to be dragged away like that. I never liked Jo and Jo never liked me..
*End of flashback*

For quite sometime I was the laughing stock of the class. The little Elvira with her funny way of speaking.
After being pushed by Becky over and over again my mom did something I didn't have the guts to do, She picked Becky's call and threatened her to keep off her daughter.
"Hello Becky, this is Elvira's mom and what do you think your doing? You have no right to bully my daughter like this the poor girl is having fever because of a person like you! Better back off before you wake up one day and not realized what was done to you so just please better keep off"

Not surprisingly, life is full of sorrows and hardships.. But once a wise man said "You can't laugh at the same joke again and again,but why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again?"

It totally makes sense.. I should get back on my feet and make Becky feel like the witch she is. But the next day Becky turned on for another attitude: *Oh my God*She was nicer** I couldn't believe what I was seeing.. But I was chanting my mom's name in my head for what she did. I love my mom and I shall forever be indebted to her for this!!

Days passed but Becky didn't change back to her old self.
Thursday morning I received a call from Becky
"Hey Elvira, I'm so sorry for everything I did to you I really am! Can we still be best friends? You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm moving away from this town I just want you to know you've been a great friend and you are truly different" "Its okay Becky, your forgiven" was my answer.

Glad that chapter in my life is over! I returned back to my old self and started beating Rayne at his own games-Academics. I started passing all my classmates and won my class teacher's heart and all the other teachers hearts. Something about Rayne was completely different, different in an intriguing way..

Although I was finally okay, I always felt out when I was with Jen and Chel they shared this special bond I couldn't enter nor destroy.. I was jealous and I wanted my own best friend. Of course they told me their secrets and never meant to make me feel left out but I did feel that way!

*1 week later*
Dan the tall stupid hormone intoxicated guy starts giving me too much attention. He would sit next to me and start winking from far.. He wouldn't take his eyes off me. To be honest I find this really stupid. Although it did have some weird effect on me! But not in a lovey dovey way because I never really had feelings for him more than a brother but he did everything in his power to change that..

'Babe!Babe'
'I love you say I love you too he said to me in science class' 'Elvira and Dan sitting on a tree:F*cking' he said infront of the whole class. My whole body went numb and all I wanted to do was run away from there but had to control it...
Event leading to event I was yet stupid and his sister Jade told the whole school that 'Elvira likes my brother Dan'

*B**** please mind your own bitchy issues* and you wouldn't believe what happened afterwards the asshole refused everything, he said he was just joking and who would like this girl yes he was furious* After this I promised my self I would never look at another guy again. Not that I cared anyways!

Soon a competition ran wild..
Rayne became a competitor and my only motive was either to be equal or to pass him. This became obsessive for me and for him.

Time flew by in a very fast pace. And no body could even have guessed what happened during the 'few months'!
Becky left and everyone was finally free of her clutches.

I grew closer to Rayne everyday.. For him we were just friends and I had no motive to be more than that!
If he needs something I'd be there to help him out-Which was always!
And soon enough me,Rayne and Joseph became inseperable. Whenever I was around Rayne I felt different and I got butterflies running mad inside my stomach.

"Elvira how did you do this?" Elvira can I borrow your eraser?" Elvira are free this weekend Jo and I will comeover"

Have you ever had this feeling when all you could think about in the morning is this one specific person?

Yeah I felt that.
It was monday and I was really excited to go school but why? I ask myself! School suddenly became so interesting!

"Rayne what's wrong with you? Stop making me laugh"
"Elvira I have a girlfriend"

How did I feel? I don't know how I felt. Was I sad? Why did it hurt a little I asked myself.

"Who is she?"
"Sophia Ross"
"Really?"
"Yes"

Yep I'm the guilty party! I searched for her on fb and there she was. But this didn't affect our friendship in any way. Our little talks and play fights still remained the way they did ♡

I often felt very comfortable with him but at the same time very nervous..
As months passed I was sure he felt the attraction, but never showed it much often. He would talk about girls,boobs and butts and I'd laugh with him.

"But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels
Yea you, make me so nervous
That I just can’t hold your hand

You make me glow, but I cover up
Won’t let it show, so I’m
Puttin’ my defenses up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack" I sang inside my head.
Could do people be this close and yet be so far?

Whenever he's by side, I feel like there's nothing more.
Don't you ever share your smile with anyone else but me!:)

Yes, it was a crush. A real one this time, not caused by any stupid hormones. How do I know? Cuz I can never get enough of him.. His words are like music to my ears.

Time passed and only brought us closer. Him coming to my house was almost like every weekend.
But me being myself have too many insecurities.
"Am I good enough for him?"
"Does he like me?" "If he does why doesn't he ask me out already?"

Every heard of undeniable chem? *i think that's what we had*
One great day. I met an angel who became my best friend:Jessy! Jessy was always good to me and we told each other everything but like every sweet thing in life it has to be shared!

Jessy and I were the inseperable two! She finally encouraged me to go up to him and tell him how I really feel. But I couldn't gather enough strength to do it anyway but then she pushed me further and I did.. It wasn't the response I expected and I said he'd call.

"Hey elvira"
'Hiii Rayne'
"Why did u ask me to call"
'Because I wanna know something'
"What?"
"Do you like me?"
"Yes!No!Maybe"

I was disheartened but I knew he hadn't realised it like I did. I had complete faith in him and I wasn't going to give up just yet.

Along with Jessy I grew quite close to Michelle after Becky left. She was the complete package! She was a bit of a fat ass but my sexy fat ass and I loved her. She easily read my mind.

I was taken aback my how fast my relationship with Rayne was growing but in the back of my mind I had doubts just maybe maybe he didn't feel the same way but who cares! I do...

My relationship with Rayne wasn't the only one that way growing, Michelle became so close to me that I had to tell her everything that happens the moment I see her! I couldn't believe she was the same person when Becky was here and Becky had her claws on. Yes she was the same person just looked at differently with a ray of light for the person she was inside out. She was outstanding, playful and really Carefree. She had this attitude of 'Have fun , and die doing it b****'

I was compared to her, and I didn't complain I wanted to be like her.

"I know I drive you crazy, hmm...sometimes
I know I call you lazy, and that's most times
But you complete me, and that's no lie
You are my tuxedo, and I'm your bow tie
We in the car sing sing singing our song
Walk in the building, tear it down like we're King Kong
And in my eyes you can do-do no wrong
You got a best friend? Sing, sing along"

And soon, school's bell started ringing in our ears..
Yupp it was first day of school again!

But I was glad, because through this day I met Leah Aj! The quite cute but quiet Leah! We were on track with the first impression! *Bingo**Bingo**Bingo*

"Heyy Leah"
"Hiiiii"
"Are you on facebook?"
"Yupp and gmail Leah Aj and aj here you go:*"
"Thanks see ya:*"


But was life as sweet as it seemed? LOL no.!


The saddest yet still saddest thing happened.. Rayne and Leah took off fast and got closer and closer by the day and I told myself "Elvira get ready , here comes a bumpy ride"

Jealousy can ruin someone, at the same time make someone! But in this case its ruining me..

Leah seemed so much better than me, in everything she did. And it was pretty clear that Rayne wanted to hang out with Leah rather than me! Everyday it would eat me up inside. To see them together and thinking it should've been me..

Tuesday afternoon
I came inside the class to see a smiling Leah and Rayne, what was I to think? Its always been that way and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The only option left was to cry out the pain. Heartbreak after heartbreak.
Even if it was for a group, he'd sit near her.

I wonder what's in her that makes her special? Am I that bad? Am I not worth it? Don't I deserve to be given a second chance? Who's gonna answer my questions?


"First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What's gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have f*ed up a little"

What's the cure for a heartbreak? Gaining more determination or just giving up. This time me being myself decided that Rayne was worth more and even though its going to kill me more I wasn't going to give up. So be it :)

A whole year passed, a yeah full of mini heart attacks and tears enough to make a river. I thought to myself if someone else was in my position would they give up already? So why can't I give up.. When I know he's not interested. And that moment I realised it wasn't just a crush it was love.
What I felt with Joseph isn't even worth comparing to how I feel with Rayne..

Just because he had someone new to hang out with to laugh with to crack jokes with didn't mean I was completely left out I was given attention but not the kinda one I wanted . I just couldn't bring myself to tell him I love him and I want him to be only mine just mine......

Your love is what keeps me going, you are my strength and I wake up for it.

Even though Rayne seems so far I feel as if he's with me. How will I explain to u? The way he looks at me gives me courage to go on.

Friday evening I was all by myself and everyone was doing their own thing..

'Hey Elvira! Let's talk!'
'Heyy Rayne aren't you suppose to be with Leah?'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean aren't you going to hang out with all those girls drooling over you, you don't seem to mind'
'Jee Elvira is that what you think?'
'That's what I see'

That very day he got up and left as if he was just talking to the wall no emotion no gestures. I went home and just layed on the bed just numb. Maybe I was too hard on Rayne the poor guy doesn't even know a worthless girl like me loves him.

*Saturday Morning*
'Aghhhh I'm coming mom'
'Elvira you've forgotten how to talk to your parents! You are drifting away from everybody what's wrong with you?'
'Nothing mom I just want to be alone'

I turned around and she was already gone. I was getting used to people walking away anyway. I packed my hair in a lazy ponytail. And washed myself. Every step I took, its like something broke inside of me and I knew exactly why.
I finished my homework and wanted to sleep away my pain when I heard people playing football outside I peeped from my window and saw Rayne. I was literally dancing and I hoped he'd just go back to normal with me.

So I quickly dressed up and went downstairs , by the time I went down he was playing with the dudes and didn't even look my way. I tried to get his attention by removing the bricks they used as goalposts but ended up getting stares of death threats so I gave that up. Then I finally decided to talk to him. It was just dead silence!!

He ignored me all through, I even walked away from him to see if he'd follow but who was I kidding. The only thing that followed me was my shadow. Not even my little shadow because it was afternoon. Finally I got up and left him crying.
I went to my bedroom and stayed there till he went. He would usually come up and talk to me and play with me but he didn't bother..

He was now just a mere stranger!

Monday morning when I went to school..
He changed his seat from being close to me to being far away but what caught my attention was that he wasn't near Leah or any other chica. I was truly surprised!

But I wanted Rayne close, not away and hating me. I couldn't bring myself to ask if he was still my best friend. Even if he does look at me, its this 'go kill yourself looks'.

I couldn't believe what I did to Rayne. Was all this because of what I said? Damn me!

Everyday passed like that - well actually two weeks..

We were invited to a party, and I saw the seat next to him vacant so I decided to sit near him thinking he has cooled down. Instead he got up and flew away. I felt so embarrassed and depressed. Why would he do this to me?

I got up and followed him, when I did he was outside talking with Leah. So yeah that was the end of me following him. What would I do anyway l would stand there like an idiot who forgot my way. Of course Leah is more important..

I got up and left the party. And I told myself he doesn't want you , so from then I started ignoring him and myself..

We were to play this game in our class.
Rouge: ' Elvira and Rayne please pair up'
'No, I want a different partner'

I couldn't believe what I just said! I saw everyone was surprised! And so was Rayne but he didn't show it too much.

Every time he passed me by, I change my direction or go sit somewhere where there's nobody and he never came back and so did one month!!

Rayne was becoming more ignorant everyday, and what can I do?

Monday evening when I was going home, I found his tie lying on my desk. So I figured this was a great opportunity for me to actually try and talk to him. It was just an excuse anyway! So if it turns out bad then I just came to give you your tie back mister!

*KNOCK**KNOCK**KNOCK*
'Hello Elvira, do you need something?'His aunt said.
'ummm... ermm no actually.. I came to return Rayne's tie'
'Aww Elvira hun Just come in, He's in his room'
On my way to his room I felt numb, I couldn't believe this was happening I mean it's not like I haven't gone to his room a million times..

I adjusted my bra , I couldn't believe myself!

So there I was, in front of his room. I didn't bother to knock because I don't know why! I guess because I think its my right.
I slowly opened the door, and I saw Rayne's figure moving on his bed and then when I opened it further... I saw Leah.

There must be some logical explanation to why that was happening.. Right God? No Elvira.. They were making out. Hands all over each other and their lips moving feverishly. My heart started hurting, like it wanted to be stabbed over and over again till it finally stops beating..

I stood there, without moving. They saw me and they stopped, Rayne had this unexplained look on this face. I couldn't quite figure out if he wanted this to happen.
'Elvira what are you doing here?'
'I umm came to umm tie.. your...by this time tears had already started coming down my cheeks.
I gave him his tie and turned around. But looked back and told him this last two words 'Thanks Rayne'...
The look on my face had an effect on him, I saw it but what does he care?

I ran ran and ran.. By the time I reached the streets, It was dark. And I had no intention of going home!

*2 hours later*
I found a place that was full of empty yet big tubes. I went inside the nearest and cried my eyes out. What else was I supposed to do? My heart started racing when I heard someone's footsteps.

And someone did enter the tube I was hiding in.
'Running away from the world?'
She seemed my age but I couldn't actually see her much in the dark. I kept mum.
'It's a boy Isn't it?'
I suddenly felt so comfortable with her, as if I knew her for years. Maybe because she was nice.
'Yes It... is', I Said with tears streaming down.
I told her everything
'You've come so far and now you want to give up? What happened to the same spirit when you fell for him and decided to go on? You knew this was coming didn't you?'
'This is not the time to give up'
'But he loves Leah not me.. He never loved me'
'Sometimes actions deceive you my friend.. You think he doesn't care But deep down inside you want to go on Don't let him go'
'Why should I?'
'That's all I can tell you...'
She got up and I followed her.
She said to me:' My name is Britney.. think about what I said, now go home'
She hugged me tight and left... into the darkness..From far I wondered is she what people call angels? She seemed so beautiful and very caring..

I shut myself out from the world, I cried every single night thinking of Rayne. I couldn't believe all this happened or did I really expect it like Britney said? I don't know..

I walked I ate I drank I slept I breathed by I was dead inside. And there was only one person who could fix it but that person was with somebody else. Making her happy.

*Wednesday Night*
I heard people screaming outside the window, figures were fighting. I couldn't really figure out who the people were but I decided to go out and check I don't mind being killed! Anything to put me off this misery.

When I got closer, I saw Rayne! The people were beating Rayne up and Rayne fought back. It looked as if he started the fight. I wanted to stop him but he ran away. Seeing him in pain, triggered something inside I couldn't explain.

*Thursday Morning*
I decided not to look at either Rayne and Leah but the attempt was almost disappointing because they kept looking at me. Everytime Rayne crosses my way I looked away but tears rolled down he saw he looked down he walked away..

*Two weeks passed in blank misery*

Even through the pain, I was able to find myself again. I was able to ignore Rayne and get back my grades. Of course it bothered me when I saw them together but I'd cry my eyes out in the night which gives me strength for the morning.

I saw on my way to the library , when I was suddenly pushed to the wall. It was Rayne he pushed me hard to the wall. Our bodies were too close we hear each other's heart beats. I tried to break away but he was way too story for me. He wanted to talk but nothing came out. I cried but it didn't melt his heart
'Rayne please your hurting me'
He looked at me, lent on my shoulder and pushed me back to the wall. He just stormed away.
I just slid down the wall and sat down trying to process what just happened. That was the closest I've been to him while sharing an intimate moment.

Rayne's behavior is weirder than normal. He never talks, but he expresses his feelings through actions. Sometimes long stares sometimes pushing me to the wall.

I spent the whole day trying to figure out why Rayne pushed me like that.

Tuesday morning..
I went to get my things out of my locker, when someone just came from behind and closed it. I wanted to say something and before I did , I found myself trapped in between Rayne's warm body and the locker.
'How are you Elvira?' He whispered into my ear.
I couldn't answer his question because he was too close and nothing came out of my mouth. I tried but it didn't work. His presence well his current presence sent shivers down my spine. I don't know if I liked it or I didn't .. I wanted to forget Rayne but he's making it real hard for me.

I actually enjoyed him, him being around me but he scares me. I don't know what comes into him whenever he sees me, such anger yet I see passion in his eyes.

While I was busy with these thoughts, I noticed I was still trapped in between and Rayne just stared at me.
I struggled but he didn't let me go. I pushed him away and ran.

He was so close that I could still smell him. The same scent I love,his scent, but not his perfume!

I was about to enter my history class, when I heard our teachers talking..
'Yes. I agree Rayne isn't at the top of him game anymore'
'I wonder what happened'
'He's distracted by too many things'

I wanted to leave, but it was too late! They saw me.
'Elvira please come in' Said my Chemistry teachers.
'We've been discussing that since Rayne has been going down concerning his grades and you and him are equally good, maybe you can tutor him?'
'Yes sir was all I said'

How was I going to tutor Rayne?

Tutoring Rayne was the last thing I wanted to do. Especially not at a time like this.

After class I tried to find Rayne, and I honestly didn't expect him to act normal with me anymore. I searched every corner of the school but there was no trace of him so I decided to put a note in his locker explaining what the teachers said.

Tuesday evening
*Tired*
I tied my hair into a bun and took my homework out. I was thinking about whether he would actually show up at my house ever again.
The time passed so slowly from 5-7pm. And I bumped into reality that Rayne wasn't coming over again. So I served my self some food and a coke from the fridge and there goes the door bell. I didn't bother the first time but it went on and on and on so I opened the.

The same buff figure that trapped me in between a locker stood at my doorstep.
He stormed his way inside without saying a word. And I just stood there not knowing what to do.

I waited to get any kind of response from him but no. Its Rayne! He will always be Rayne! I sat near him and started stammering
'He.yy..ii Ray..'
I stopped talking and just got lost in the way he looked, the way he looked at me.
'Yeah Elvira, so um chemistry first?'

That was some stab to my heart.
One whole hour of pure torture and weird stares passed but then we actually started getting the hang of it. We laughed forgetting about everything that happened. Because knowing me Rayne's silly jokes can crack me up anywhere!anytime!

I didn't realise what I was wearing though, it was a tight tank top and shorts so it was hard to stretch in front of him. When I was trying to make a lame attempt I felt his leg and if it was before he'd move it but for some reason he didn't. I felt his hairy yet warm skin on mine. Getting lost in the ecstasy I realiZed our legs were rubbing on each other so to hide the embarrassment I stood and excused myself.

I went up and I couldn't help looking in the mirror. I tried to adore myself but pulling down my top and look like Leah was not the way to go,it was a useless attempt. Although my bum did look amazing in the shorts.

Moving on, I went inside the toilet and washed my face a bit and by the time I got out I saw Rayne.. With a blank expression!
Uh oh El! Is he gonna beat me up or just stab me with something.

I couldn't quite make out what he was thinking from the way he looked..
He walked forward instead of turning and going back downstairs.
Why? I didn't know!

So I decided to reduce the tension between us and ask him to go grab something to eat downstairs together. Rayne didn't utter any word. He kept walking till he finally came a bit closer to me, surprisingly he held my hand which was very odd.

I couldn't help feel overwhelmed by this action. Then he pulled my hand and brought me closer than we were. Every single part of me wanted to grab him and kiss him but I knew something would stop me. Yeah, the blurry images of Rayne and Leah just popped into my mind.. The urge I had disappeared and I felt hurt again. I moved away from him and went downstairs.

I didn't want to think of what Rayne must be thinking of me right now. I expected him to just storm his way out of my living room. But he came and he sat down on the couch.
'El bring some food, I'm starving'
'Okay' was all I could say. I was honestly surprised by how patient he was being with me. So I grabbed some popcorn and threw it inside the microwave..

I went to see what he was up to completely forgetting about the popcorn. I sat in a different couch I just didn't want to face him again not with this cowardness of mine. Since Leah came I always imagined Rayne being intimate with her not me. Maybe I'm not just good enough.

And soon Rayne was engaged in the tv, yup the Big Bang Theory our favorite comedy serial.

I made my way to the kitchen and found the oven burning. Well no surprise there, no kidding when Rayne and Joseph make fun of my cooking. I quickly opened it and took the packet out.
On top of it I spilled my coke.

*After five good minutes*
I was struggling to clean the mess.
Just what I was afraid of, Rayne walked into the kitchen.
'Uhh El do you want some help in here'
'Yes Rayne I do!'

I slipped on the drink, he quickly hurried and carried me. While he carried me, our stares were quite nice, no tension I don't know whether its direct of indirect flirting or if its flirting at all. He wanted to drop me on the counter and when he attempted he had to stop at the butt area and it was weird again!

So he moved and cleaned the place up and I just stared at his perfect body moving here and there.
Finally he said 'Elvira its time for me to go home now'
so he came in for a hug.
And this time I made no attempt to back away, he wanted to go but I didn't let him go...
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and there we were hugging our selves as if we were lost kids in the rain!
I moved back a bit and stared at him, "El," he whispered, his face was only inches from mine and the warmth of his breath lit me up like a candle. A rush of heat started in my chest and slowly spread throughout my body, reaching every last limb. I could feel his eyes watching my every move, from the slight twitch of my lip to the way my shoulders rose and fell as I breathed. He leaned forward slowly, his hand brushing the hair out of my face and in an instant his lips were on mine. They were rough and smooth, they were perfect. He moved them around in circles and my heart swelled. His breathing was deep and loud in my ear. He moaned and so, I did too. We kissed and kissed, our bodies tightly attached to each other, I rapped my legs around his waist. His kisses moving from lips down the neck and





'I love you Rayne' I whispered.

After that very beautiful day, Rayne came to my house at 5pm on the dot and sometimes even earlier!
Staring became a ritual before we actually get the books out. My life was amazing. And when we weren't together we'd chat all day.

'I wanna hug you Rayne'
*Yes, I said hug because I was too phony to say Kiss me sexy*
'Really? I wanna hug you too El'
'But when?'
'Tomorrow'
'Really?Yayyyy!'
'I promise'
It was a wonderful feeling to be closer to Rayne.

*Saturday morning*
'Come Elvira let's talk' he said when I was sitting alone.
We went to a little silent place, and he finally said let's hug, I felt quite childish to ask for a hug instead of actually doing it. I went closer to him but didn't have enough courage to hug him tight, but he did and was incredibly sweaty. When I struggled with myself stupidly he kissed my forehead then I said
'It's fine' maybe I was being a douche bag I had no idea what I was doing. I still wanted him to hug me but I guess I was just shy.
*Yeah shy let's go with that*

'Why?' He said.
But moved, and I said its okay. So we went back.

*Saturday evening*
*Texting*

'Rayne?'
'Yes angel?'
'I really loved our hug today!'
'Then why did you move away?'
'I'm sorry, I wanna hug you again'
'Okay next time angel'

Days passed quickly, and we only got closer loosing track of time. Close enough for Rayne to ask me out.

I knew I was going to regret asking this question but I did anyways. What did I have to loose.

'Hey Rayne, can I ask you something?'
'Of course yes'
'Do you have a gf?'
'No, do you want to be?'
'What?'
'Never mind'

My heart started racing like a train passing by, I was taken aback by the question but I had this strong feeling+vibe that I wanted to say yes.

'You asked me something'
'Yes do you want to be?'
'Your joking with me aren't you?'
'Nope'
'Promise?'
'Yup'
'Then yes!'
'Yayyyyyy I have an official gf!'

I felt so happy, I have no words to describe that magical feeling at that very moment. Rayne meant everything to me but I didn't want to be too pushy that I might end up pushing him away so I let him take some actions.

Every single time he calls me my angel,I'd ask God if it was a dream. But it wasn't a dream, it was reality. RAYNE IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!! ELVIRA'S RAYNE NOT LEAH'S

'Rayne can I give you a nickname?'
'No I don't like nicknames'
'But I want to call you one'
'Still no angel'
'But its not fair, you get to call me one!'
'Call me Rayne'
'Fine I'll call you Rayne but I'll add something to it'
'Which is?'
'MY!
MY RAYNE'

From then on I called him My Rayne, and he calls me Angel with so many adjectives attached to it.

Love is when you find someone who makes you feel special! ... And as for me, love is having the perfect gentle guy! Someone who lightens up your world like stars twinkling in the sky and that's what I have. A complete package. Nowadays, sounds like world peace to people because they have lost hope in finding them.
*unless you are talking about the 8 figure women*
But that's exactly what I have!

"Elvira wake up,wake up!"Screamed Jessy.
"UHHHHHHHHH what is your problem Jess let me sleep in peace"I screamed back.
"El did you forget its Rayne basket ball match today"

Oh shit I've been too carried away by the current events that I completely forgot about Rayne's match. I got up and ran to the washroom. I want to look as pretty as a cheerleader for Him, but how?

"Oh come on babe,Are you really going to waste time in choosing what to wear?"
"Duh Jess its Rayne we are talking about"
"Okay fine, I brought you something!Check it out"

I couldn't believe it, she brought me a mini skirt and tight top that could squeeze my boobs right out. I've never thought of wearing something like that before, I always went with the normal top and jeans. I had to do it to cheer him and what could be more encouraging than a girl in a mini-skirt for a guy.
But, I also liked it because it shows the shape of my what according to Jess is an 'Amazing figure'

I made sure my hair was packed in a normal ponytail and no make-up because I know he hates make up. Natural beauty is the charm baby!

By the time we reached the stadium, they were practising! He came over and gave me a hug,
*yeah still stuck at the hugging-ship*

"You look amazing angel" He whispered.
And that was enough to make my whole day.

**THE BIG MATCH**
The start was a bit slow, but if I were to describe what I was seeing it would be 'Creative Shooting'.
Rayne took over, first he'll dribble 2 players then 3 and the number kept increasing.
The scores were 19-15, Rayne's team was leading well duh his accuracy of the scoring was perfect.
He'd score three-pointers which seemed like a piece of cake..(To him)

I became nervous when the other team started catching up and it was 30-30.
So I decided to keep Rayne some boosting, I threw my bag on the floor and pretended to pick it up sticking a sexy pose for him which eventually resulted in the other guys looking at me which didn't matter.

It was time-out, and sweat time. Rayne headed towards my direction and I gave him the bottle of water, I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

The game kicked off , and the players weren't ready to surrender the ball. The scores become 50-45 and once again Rayne was back in action. Since he was the key player with the accurate shooting, he was blocked. And this was followed by fouling and anxiety. Finally Rayne managed to free himself and instead of shooting he passed and his teammates would score. The scores became 72-69 Rayne was fouled in the last minute, Jess squeezed my hand and assured me everything would be alright. And he was given 2 free throws and everyone's expectations became real when he didn't even miss one and the final whistle was blown. Everyone congratulated him, I on the other hand screamed his name and jumped on him.

How lucky was I to be the girl dating the start player.

After great difficulty Ely got the man of her dreams. Everything was going on the easy lane for me.

I headed back home after the greatest match, and some afterward making out at the back of the court. You may call me a couple of names but you probably haven't gotten the taste of it. Living in the moment was inevitable.
To my surprise all my family members were sitting in 'Hush hush' mode around the coffee table, I knew instantly something was up!

"El we are moving to your aunt Jen's place, She's moving to Italy and since no one will be able to take care of the house she thought we might as well take it" Said my mom.

*OKAY RIGHT NOW I WAS IN DOUBLE PANICKING MODE*
Its a bit far away and I have the perfect life here..perfect best friend..perfect boy friend.. EVERYTHING.
DOES SHE EVEN CARE? WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS TO ME? WHY?JUST WHY?

"Buh bu but.. Mom I have finally settled down here! Please don't do this to me!"
"Yes we thought about that, and we think you can still go to school here, you'll also love the house darling, remember you used to cry nagging to go there all the time?"


"Mom you aren't even sure about this?"
"Darling,I'm positive, you should think about it!"


I ran to my room and called up Jess, but she wasn't available so I left her a message, tears running down my cheeks. I called up Rayne and he came running immediately.


There was a knock on my door and there he was standing there with chocolates. He knew instantly that something was wrong.

So I decided to cut to the chase.
"Rayne my family is moving!"
"WHAT?WHEN?HOW?WHY?"
"Don't freak out baby!" I said trying to soothe him but I knew it didn't work.
"I'll still be here for school isn't that good?"
"Yeah sure!"

There Rayne, the most handsome guy I've ever seen having such a big frown on his perfect face. I felt suffocated for awhile.

'Ely, do you think we'll be able to handle it?'
'Maybe, I don't know but we'll try right?'
'Definitely'

And so I rested my head on his chest and tried enjoying my half melted choco.


But it was too late, everything was already melted. Yeah my heart! Right then and there!

It was moving day, and I felt as good as numb. Jess never called back, even after countless phone calls straight to voice mail. I knew she was there, I knew she heard me but what I didn't understand was Why?Why did she do that?

Well my mom wouldn't let me dwell in my thoughts, most of the time she wanted me engaged in packing. I think she sensed that something was wrong, well mom,everything is wrong!

Rayne and I still hung out like normal, but the liveliness was lost,gone,disappeared. Of course I can still make a choice to come and school here but that will take a bit of time till we finally settle down at the new place.

*8AM*
MOM:'ELVIRA!! Put that phone down and help us pack!'
'Okay mom, you're helping a lot(note the sarcasm)' I snapped back.


"Jess, please call back! I miss you. And this is the last day. I want to say goodbye to my best friend before I leave. Please don't do this to me. I love you baby" I texted her but 4 hours later, still mute!

Rayne came over and helped me pack my things, he was understanding and unbelievably caring. I wanted to hug him and never let go but instead I was fighting to hide my tears from him.

Saying goodbye to your lover is a heartbreaking moment. You feel as if a part of you is being separated and going of to do something else. You are used to relying on each other for everything. Every decision from the smallest to the largest is made with the consultation of your partner. When you are separated, you must accustom yourself to living single. You don't have the constant reassurance of having someone to lean one. This feeling takes getting used to,becomes a weakness pulling you down.

*1pm*
It was finally the time, time to back away, from the love and caring I got from him, my soul mate. My best friend. My everything.

I pulled him into a corner and rested my head on his chest crying my eyes out. Then he held me tight, I could hear his breathing. He slowly brushed my hair with his soft fingers.
'El? He murmured.
'What?'
'Please don't cry angel, you know I love you but for now we have to part ways, you know that I'll always remember you'
'Rayne, long distance relationships never work'
'Ely, for now 'we' don't exist but you never know. We are walking down the path of love, we never know we'll meet again someday'

Then we kissed slowly, breathing in each others fragrance, feeling comfortable in each other's warmth. It was the perfect moment yet the most painful goodbye. He took out a small piece of paper that looked crumbled.

'I wrote this for you,I crumbled it and I threw it away but picked it up because there's no other way to express myself'

'Rayne I love you!'
'I love you too El'

After he left, I opened the note and it goes a bit like..........
'Now to pack are the pieces of my heart,
Gathered in a pile,
Each one wrapped up tenderly,
And placed next to a distant smile.

Gathering up the memories we shared,
Making sure I've got them all,
Packing them softly because I cared,
Leaving them in the boxes in my heart.'

I wanted to die,shoot myself to death...

The biggest surprise was yet to come, Jess was standing in the hall in tears, streaming down her eyes. Trying to pick up the words but was unable to. I ran and hugged her, after some moments we looked at each other , although there were no words coming out from our mouths, we spoke with our eyes. And that's all I needed to complete the painful yet painful goodbye.

~The universe is calling
catch me I'm falling.
But who's listening? Just a moment in time~