It was the next morning where I found myself wide awake even before my alarm went off. I smile to myself, get up and get ready for work.
“Morning Rose,” I hear someone say as I walk into the Salon.
“Morning everyone,” I say with a grin. Everyone looks up from their stations, and smile.
“You look happier than usual,” my best friend Jamie says to me. I set my coffee down at the receptionist desk, and sit down in the chair.
“I feel happier,” I admit. I sit down next in the chair next to her, and sigh.
“Okay, tell me what happened.” She knew me too well. We have known each other for six years.
“Remember freshmen year? The guy I had the biggest crush on.”
“Are you kidding me? How could I not. You forgot that I was friends with him too at one point. What about Julian?”
“I.... I saw him yesterday.” Jamie’s blue eyes widen.
“Did you talk to him? Please tell me you talked to him.” I can’t contain the laughter any longer.
“Of course I talked to him! Actually I was just sitting there reading when he came up to me. He asked me how I was doing and if I lived my dream job. Then here’s the kicker, he asked if I was married and I said no obviously. I asked if he was, and he said that he was still looking for that special someone. So to be funny I said maybe she’s right in front of you and you’re not looking hard enough. Then, he asked me out to coffee this afternoon.” I take a deep breath, beginning to replay the whole scenario in my mind again.
“Oh my gosh!” Jamie squeals. “Remember how Stephanie and I used to joke about how someday you guys will become even closer and maybe realize that he’s in love with you and the two of you will get married? What if it’s happening?” All I can do is laugh at her.
“Jamie, it’s been six years since we’ve spoken. I doubt he has any feelings for me despite his friendly ones. For all I know he could secretly like someone else. If he and I were meant to be, it would’ve happened.” I stand up, and take a sip of my coffee. “I need to get ready for my nine o’clock appointment.” Jamie sighs as I start to walk away.
“For all you know it could be happening now!” she shouts after me.
“In my dreams!” I shout back.

For once the day passed by fast. “I’m almost done with my three thirty appointment,” I shout across the room to Jamie.
“Don’t worry Rose, it’s ten till four. You’ll plenty of time to get there.”
I take a deep breath, and focus my thoughts back onto the haircut I was doing. Running my own salon was something that I’ve dreamt about doing since I was in fifth grade. As I got older, I became more passionate about cutting and styling hair. Jamie and I used to talk about running our own bakery when we were sophomores, but that idea eventually faded. The only dream that stuck, was owing my own salon. Jamie became my business partner, and we co-owned the shop together.
People constantly bragged about what a good job my staff and I do, and they end up becoming regulars. I became close with many of my customers, especially an older lady named Gladys.
“How are the grand kids,” I ask Gladys with a smile.
“They’re good. Growing up faster and faster. My friend’s son moved back into town actually. I met him the other day. Oh, he’s such a dream; you would like him a lot.” I smile at her.
“What’s his name?” I ask.
“Julian.” The scissors drop from my hand. I stare at Gladys.
“Uh, what does he look like?” Gladys looks concerned as my eyes widen at her.
“He has black shot curly hair, and hazel eyes. Why dear? Do you know him?”
“Oh my god,” I mutter. I bend down and pick up the scissors from the floor.
“Rose, is everything alright?” I look at Gladys from the mirror, and nod.
“Yeah. I do know him. Actually, I’m in love with him.” That’s when Jamie looks up from her papers.
“You finally admitted it!” she shouts as she walks over to me. “It took her six years to finally admit that she’s in love with him.” I roll my eyes and finish Gladys’s bangs.
“You’ve been in love with him for six years?” Gladys asks.
“She has,” Jamie, answers for me. “We knew him in high school and she was best friends with him. It’s kind of tragic actually. They’re friends and Rose is in love with him, but he knows and only likes her as a friend. Then here they are six years later and run into each other at the coffee shop. She even has a date with him in five minutes.” I start to sweep off the hair of Gladys’s shoulders. “He’s going to fall in love with her,” Jamie continues. “After all of these years as they begin to talk again, Julian will start to realize that he was stupid for not liking her before. Then they’ll live happily and ever after.”
“Don’t listen to her,” I say to Gladys. “She’s completely delusional.” I raise her chair and run my fingers through her hair. “How do you like it?” I ask. Gladys turns around and looks into the mirror. For her being in her early fifties, she looked great. She examines her light brown hair in the mirror, running her hands through the short locks.
“It looks great, as usual.” She beams at me. “You should listen to Jamie, Rose. You don’t know that he won’t have feelings for you now. Things change.” I sigh. “Take it from an old timer like me.” She winks at me, and pushes a five dollar bill in my apron pocket.
“It’s two till four. Aren’t you going to be late?” I look over at the clock.
“S***!” I say. I look over at Gladys, then quickly say, “I mean shoot.” She just smiles at me. “I still have to sweep!” I start to head over to get the broom, but Jamie stops me.
“Go, I’ll clean for you. Go rekindle fire.” Jamie laughs at that.
“And this is why I love you!” I say, quickly hugging her.
“You would love me anyways!” she shouts as I’m running out of the room.
“Good luck dear,” Gladys shouts.
“Thank you!” I shout back, heading outside to my car. I quickly turn on the car and head out of the parking lot. Thankfully, it only took about five minutes to get there from work. Just before I get out of the car, I check my face to make sure I didn’t have any hair on it. After checking, I slam the car door shut and head inside.

Julian was there at the same spot I saw seated yesterday, on his iPod. Some things never change, I think. I see Julian glance up at me, glance back down at his iPod, then back up at me. A big smile instantly spreads across his face as I begin to walk towards him.
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I begin. “My three thirty appointment ran later than I thought.” I sit down in front of him, and remind myself to take deep breaths.
“You’re not late! If anything I’m early.” I look over at the clock. It was exactly four o’clock. Jamie rushed me out of the door even though I had time to clean up my mess.
“I’m guessing that’s your hair apron and not a cooking apron.” I quickly look down at my shirt. My face began to burn. I forgot to take off my apron.
“Oh, um, yeah. Like I said, I was in a rush.” I smile shyly, and quickly take it off.
“Don’t worry about it. Here, let me buy you a drink, you look like you need one.” He smiles at me, and starts to get up. I was about to say that I could pay for one myself, but knowing him, I knew he wouldn’t let me. “What would you like?” I hesitated when he asked me. It was already late in the afternoon, and judging by my nerves, if I had caffeine, I would be up all night.
“Hot chocolate is fine.” I smile at him. Hot chocolate was always my favorite, and I haven’t had it in a while. Within a minute, Julian is back with his drink in one hand and my hot chocolate in another.
“Here you are,” he says as he sets it down in front of me. “I thought you used to always drink coffee?” he says as he sits down.
“Oh, I still do. I figured if I had some now it worsen my insomnia even more.”
“So you still have that problem?” His face turned serious all of a sudden. I take a sip of my drink, and sigh.
“Sadly, yes. My depression and anxiety have gotten better over the years, but it’s still there and I still have to take my medication. The only thing that is still the same is my sleeping habits.” I smile at him.
“Well, you still seem like the same Rose to me,” he smiles back at me.
I take another sip of my drink and take another deep breath. The anxiety part was now becoming a lie. It was still there. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach as Julian and I locked eyes. My stomach was twisted into a tight knot. My stomach was protesting against the hot chocolate, but I forced myself to drink it anyways.
“Do you still write?” I smile at Julian. Of course, he would mention this. Most of the four years in high school I wrote different short stories, most of them being romance.
“I do actually. I don’t get as much time now that I work most of the day and run my business, but sometimes on the weekend I sit down for a couple of hours and just write down the first thing that comes to mind.”
“I would love to read some of them,” he says still smiling.
“Sure! Maybe I could email one to you.” Before I could even ask for a pen, Julian pulls a pen from his pocket. Another thing that hasn’t changed. He takes a napkin from beside me and writes down his email adress then below it, a number. My breath catches in my throat. He was giving me his number. For once, a guy was giving it to me, instead of me somehow finding it. Julian writes one more thing down before clicking the pen, and pushing the napkin across the table to me.
“I wrote down my number too just in case you needed something,” he says.
“Thanks,” I reply, looking into his eyes. I stare into them for a minute. And in that instant I swear, I saw something there in his eyes, something that I saw in other people’s eyes when they were in love with them. That gave me a bit of hope. That there was a tiny chance I could make him fall in love with me.
“Do you still talk to your old friends at all? Like Jamie?” Julian’s words snap me out of the trance.
“Funny that you mention her. She’s my co-owner of the salon. She helps with the bills, appointments, and such. So, she’s like head manager. How are your brother and sister?” His face suddenly gets sad.
“Do you want to go for a walk? It’s getting kind of crowded in here.” I nod, and throw my empty cup in the trash on the way out.
“My family is the main reason why I moved back here to Oregon,” he begins. “My brother and sister stayed here and so did my mom and grandma. About a month ago, my mom called me and told me that she was sick. So I packed my things and rented an apartment here.” Julian is avoiding my eyes and is instead looking at the sidewalk in front of us.
“How sick is she?” I ask. This makes him look up.
“Cancer.” He doesn’t even have to tell me what kind. I just sensed that it was bad. Any sickness is bad.
“What stage?”
“Three.” I suck in a deep breath. The last stage was four, which meant that she was really far along.
“I honestly can’t tell you how sorry I am. I know how you feel though. My grandma had uterine cancer.”
“Did she survive?” he asks me with sad eyes.
“No,” I say quietly. “But that doesn’t mean your mom won’t,” I add. “She must be strong considering as to how she’s your mom, and you’re pretty strong yourself.” This makes him smile.
“I try to be,” he says.
It broke my heart to see him so sad. I have honestly never seen Julian this sad ever. He had his down times when we were talking about our past, but that was the only time. This was the present, not the past. Anything could happen.
“You don’t try, you will. All you have to do is think positive. The more you think negative, the more depressed you’ll be. Trust me, I know.” Julian smiles at me again.
“I was right, you still haven’t changed,” he says. “You’re the only one who hasn’t changed.” It took me a minute to realize that we stopped walking. We were just standing there, staring into each other’s eyes.
“I missed you Rose,” he says after a minute. I smile at him, not taking my eyes off him.
“I missed you too,” I reply.
“Wow, it’s already 5:30,” he says looking at his phone. “Time sure does fly by.” He grins at that. I smile too, remembering all of the times he used to say that at school.
We were walking back to the coffee shop when my mind started to spin. So many thoughts and memories were flying around in my mind. But only one stuck out.
“Can I ask you something?” I say to him.
“Sure. Anything.” That’s how he would always respond when I said that.
“Remember when you were talking to Jamie about me, and it was the weekend after I made a complete fool out of myself by saying that I wanted to get to know you more. I remember reading what you said, and you said that you already knew that I liked you. How did you know? I mean, I can honestly never tell when someone likes me.” Julian is smiling at this. I knew he would.
“You didn’t make a complete fool out of yourself. If anything, it was ballsy to be able to say that. I thought it was cute when you said it. How did I know? I honestly don’t remember. Maybe it was just the way that everyone acted around me when they were with you. I remember in health when Stephanie sat behind me, she would constantly say, ‘Did you talk to him?’ or ‘Are you going to tell him?’. It was kind of obvious.” I sigh at his response.
“I never was subtle,” I say honestly. “God, I was so weird then.” I sigh again, and shake my head. I remember all of the countless times I made Jamie walk with me through the halls just to pass by him and hope that he would see me and smile.
“Like I said then, you’re a good weird. It’s what makes you unique.” We’re by my car now, and I’m leaning against the driver’s door, staring at him. It was then that I realized that I left my apron inside on my chair.
“Ugh, I left my apron inside,” I say, beginning to walk towards the door. Julian stops me.
“Stay here, I’ll get it for you.” He smiles, and walks inside the coffee shop. I quickly take out my phone, and speed type a text to Jamie. Everything is going great, but I’m about to leave. I send it, and watch Julian talk to a guy at the counter. I feel my phone vibrate. She always was a fast replier. That’s great! Ask to see him again ;) I roll my eyes, and slip my phone back into my pocket just as he walks out.
“Someone thought that it was one of the workers, but a pair of scissors fell out of one of the pockets.” He laughs, holding out the apron to me. Our fingers brush and I swear it was out of a romance movie. Our eyes meet, and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me.
“We should meet again,” I say, breaking the silence. “I mean if you want, I can help with your mom.” He smiles at me, the one that makes my heart explode.
“I would love that. I’m sure she would be glad to meet you. I know I am.” He opens my car door, and gestures for me to get in.
“Thanks, for the hot chocolate and everything. I’ll text you when I get home.” I smile, and slide inside my car.
“Anytime, and I’ll be waiting.” He continues to smile his heart stopping smile, as I turn on my car. “Bye Rose,” he says.
“Bye Julian,” I reply. I shut the door, let out a loud sigh, and back out of the parking space. He’s by his own car now, watching me as I start to drive away. I see him wave as I pass by him, and I wave back, feeling as if I could do anything in the world.
As soon as I got home, I opened my laptop and turned it on, holding my phone in the other. I take out the napkin that Julian gave me as my computer turns on. I dial his number, and add him as a contact. I hit new message and say, where do you want meet tomorrow? -Rose
My computer is fully on, and I reopen the last thing I was working on. Just as I was about to start typing, my phone vibrates. I can pick you up from work and we can drive to my mom’s house together, and then I can take you to dinner. I let out a giddy laugh, and immediately respond. That works. Do you want my address of my salon? I set my phone down on the couch next to me and begin to type.
I feel the cool breeze blow through my long hair as I stare out at the setting sun on the horizon. I feel a pair of eyes staring at me, but resist the urge to turn around to see whom it may be. Instead, I focus on the different colors that the sun was giving off. The closer the sun became to the horizon, the more pinkish that the surrounding sky became. “You always did like sunsets,” I hear someone say. I spin around and—
My phone vibrates, breaking me from my focus. I already know. I looked you up. Maybe I should get a haircut from you sometime! Haha. I smile at that, and set my phone down.
I spin around and see a familiar smile. “Josh?” I stare at the man before me, completely shocked. “I thought—I thought you were dead.” Josh chuckles to himself as he steps closer to me. “Do I look dead?” I slowly shake my head and stare into his blue eyes in awe. He slowly lifts a hand to my cheek, and rests it there. I inhale a deep breath, and close my eyes as I feel the warmth of his hand fill my whole body. “I thought you were gone,” I whisper with my eyes still closed. “I could never leave you my love,” he says softly. He was closer to me. I just knew it. “Open your eyes Ashley.” I do as I’m told, and stare back into his ice blue eyes. “I came back for you. I love you Ashley.” Before I could even respond with I love you too, his lips crash into mine. It felt good to have the warmth of his lips against mine. “Please. Don’t ever leave me again,” I say against his lips. “Never,” he responds.
I smile to myself as I save the document, and hit send. I actually started the story about a month ago but have never been motivated to finish it. Until now at least. You should let me cut your hair sometime. Oh, and I sent you a story. Going to bed now. See you tomorrow :) I go and put on my pajama’s and brush my teeth. When I return to my room, Julian has already responded. I’m looking forward to reading it! Goodnight Rose. Sleep well. I knew I would sleep well, all because of him. Goodnight Julian. You sleep well too. I plug my phone into its charger and turn off my light, climbing into bed. I smile to myself as I feel my eyelids become heavier and heavier.

“Morning everyone!” I say as I walk into the salon the morning.
“Morning Rose,” everyone mutters in union.
“My my, aren’t we happy!” Jamie says with a grin.
“It’s going to be a good day,” I say leaning my head against her shoulder and taking in a deep breath. “I mean just smell this air. Isn’t it glorious?” This gets her laughing.
“Now if we can just get him to kiss you, and we’ll be skipping through the forest picking flowers together.” I start laughing along with her.
“His mom is sick.” I say, stopping any laughter from her.
“How sick?” she asks with a serious face.
“Cancer.” I exhale a deep breath. “I’m meeting her today. I offered to help take care of her. Oh yeah, and he’s picking me up from here and after I meet his mom, he’s taking me to dinner.”
“I swear you guys should just get married now. Forget all of the dating. Just go straight to marriage.” Jamie smiles at me sweetly, and I laugh.
“I don’t know what I would do without you,” I say hugging her.
“Just make me your maid of honor.” This gets us laughing again.
“I should get to work,” I say getting up and putting on my apron.
“Dah da dah dum! Dah da dah dum!” Jamie hums as I walk over to my station.
“Will you stop it?” I shout at her. Jamie laughs even harder. I roll my eyes and prevent myself from laughing with her. Thankfully, the phone rings making all laughter from her stop. I miss most of the conversation, but I do know that it’s an appointment.
“Rose, you have an appointment at 3:00.” Jamie says with a smile.
“Okay,” I respond while sweeping the floor. Today was going to be busy, I could already tell.
The day passes by, and I’m getting ready for my three o’clock appointment. “If my person shows up, get them ready in the chair for me, I’m going to go clean my scissors,” I say to Jamie, who nods in response.
When I come back to the room, I see someone with dark hair sitting in my chair. “Hi,” I say walking up. “I’m Rose and I’ll be cutting your hair today. So, how much are we cutting off.” The person in the chair turns his head, and my breath catches in my throat.
“I don’t know, what do you think would look good?” Julian smiles at me as his hazel eyes stare into mine. I look away from him and back to Jamie who is grinning at me. I look away from her, and back to Julian.
“Well, you still are fluffy,” I say. It makes him laugh, but it was a stupid thing to say. I think about half an inch off the top and a little more off the sides would look good. Let’s get you shampooed.” Julian gets up and follows me to the sink. “Just lay there and I’ll go get a towel and more shampoo. I quickly sneak over to Jamie who is still grinning.
“What the hell is this?” I say in a harsh whisper.
“Hey, he’s the one who called!” she says. “I just moved your actual three o’clock appointment to tomorrow. He’s the one who requested it, and I couldn’t say no. So get your butt over there and wash his hair.” As I walk away to get a towel she adds, “Think of it this way, you finally get to touch his hair.” I roll my eyes and throw a towel at her.
“Oh shut up!” Jamie snickers as I walk away with another towel in my arms.
“Looks like you get to smell like strawberries,” I say to Julian as I set down the shampoo and towel on the counter.
“Good thing I like strawberries,” he says looking up at me. I smile at him and turn on the water. Within a couple of minutes, I have his hair washed. The whole time I’m running my hands through his hair and massaging his scalp I try to not think of what the high school me would be thinking of. If I were still a teenager, I would probably be dying. I remember when he had his hair shoulder length. Every day I saw it, I wanted to so badly just run my finger through his hair.
I run the towel through his hair, snapping back into reality. I direct him back to my station and sit him in the chair. I raise the chair a little bit, and have his back to me. I start with the scissors, and become in professional mode. “How long did the beauty school take?” Julian asks me. I look at him through the mirror and smile. “About a year,” I say, focusing my vision back to his hair. For the next twenty minutes Julian asks me question like what was the worst thing that has happened when I was training, or who the grossest hair I’ve had to cut was. He had me laughing a lot, which is something I didn’t really do with my customers.
“Okay, you’re done.” I say, lowering the chair. Julian looks in the mirror, and stays silent.
“Wow Rose. I’m not just saying this, but this is the best haircut I’ve ever had.” He smiles as he examines himself in the mirror. “And, it’s just what I needed.” He gets up and starts to head towards Jamie.
“No,” I say sternly. “You’re not paying.” Julian looks at me.
“Are you crazy? This is your business; of course I’m going to pay you!”
“Don’t take his money Jamie,” I say pointing at her. Jamie looks back and forth from me to Julian.
“She’s my boss, I have to listen to her,” Jamie says to Julian.
“Besides,” I add. “You’re taking me to dinner.” I smile at him, and pull him away from the counter.
“Okay, I’ll let it slide this one time,” he says, putting his wallet away. “Do you want me to wait a couple of minutes for you to clean?”
“No, go,” Jamie pipes in, pushing me away from the broom closet. “You two go... have fun together.” She smiles at me and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
Julian and I walk out of my salon and out to the parking lot. He presses a button on his car keys, and opens the passenger door for me. He smiles at me, and gestures for me to get in. I sit down on the nice leather seat, and he shuts the door. As he walks around to the driver’s side, I mutter a, “damn,” under my breath. He had a nice car.
The car ride to his mom’s house wasn’t that far. It was a fifteen minute drive, and it was a pretty neighborhood. I stare out the window watching the scenery change as Julian makes lefts and rights. After one more left, we stop in front of a small house. There were a couple of trees surrounded by it, but not enough to where you couldn’t tell that there was a house there. I get out of the car in the driveway, and stare at the one story house. I walk along the pathway that leads to the house and hesitate.
“Is it just your mom that lives here?” I ask. He smiles at me and shakes his head.
“My younger brother lives here with her. He helps with the bills and everything. But my sister and I check on her during the day while Sebastian’s at work.” Julian pulls out a key from his pocket and unlocks the door. “After you,” he says smiling. I walk through the door and look at the room around me.
The room was neat and tidy. I could tell that the living room and dining room were rarely used by the condition it was in. “Sebastian?” someone calls from down the hall.
“No mama, it’s Julian,” he shouts back. “Ready to meet my mom?” he says with a sad smile. I nod, and follow him down the hall. When I entered the room, the first thing I see is his mom. She was small like Julian, and had dark hair, with a little bit of darker skin than him. “Mom, this is my friend Rose. She wants me to help take care of you.” She squints as she looks at me, and raises a frail wrinkled arm.

“Come here my dear. Let me look at you closer.” I start to walk towards her, but Julian stops me for a second.
“I’m going to be right back,” he says softly. “I need to get her medicine.” I smile at him, and continue to walk to his mother. She pats at the empty side of the bed, telling me to sit there. I obey, and sit down next to her. She touches my cheek, and smiles at me.
“You’re even as pretty as a rose,” she says. “Are you the same Rose from high school?” she asks. I look at her confused.
“What do you mean?” She only smiles at me.
“He never told you then.” I was even more confused then. “I’m going to tell you a secret.” I lean in a little closer to hear her better. “My Julian loved you very much. I remember when he came home from school one day, happy as can be. I asked him what happened, and he never hesitated. He told me about a girl named Rose, whose beauty radiated inside and out. He said that she confessed to him that she liked him, and he already knew, but he lied to her and told her that he just wanted to be friends.” She pauses for a minute. “Julian, can you also make me a sandwich?” She grins at me.
“Of course mama,” Julian replies seconds later.
“Anyways, he said that he lied to her because he was afraid of loving someone. He knew about everything you’ve been through and he thought that you deserved better. He’s come from a bad background with his father and everything.” She takes another deep breath, and continues. “But I can already tell just by the way he is that you’re his Rose. I know for a fact that he still loves you. He told me yesterday that he saw you again. That this time he’s not going to let you go.” She takes hold of my hand, and kisses it. “I know we’ve only met, but if he’s this happy after two days, I would love it if you married my son.” Tears were in my eyes. I blink hard to not let them fall. “I did not say a word,” she says even quieter.
“Here’s you sandwich and medicine mom.” Julian walks in with a little tiny pill cup filled with a couple of pills. He sets the sandwich on the bedside table, and hands her the pill cup.
“Damn medication,” she says, popping them into her mouth. “They always give me so much.” She chugs some water and hands it back to Julian. “You never told me you knew her in high school Julian,” his mom says to him.
“I never told you?” he says to her. Now that I knew, I could easily tell that he was lying. It was quite funny too. If I didn’t know the truth, I would’ve believed it. But the more I looked at him, the more nervous I could see he was. He didn’t blush or stumble over his words; it’s just the way he looked at me. It was as if he was hoping that I wouldn’t find out that he was in love with me.
“How could you not have told your mother about me?” I say jokingly. This makes him even more nervous, but he still didn’t fault. I just know. Julian laughs at my comment.
“I’m shocked that he never did,” she says to me winking. “Her name is Rose for a reason. Rose does mean beauty, and she is very beautiful. How could you let someone like her go?” Think causes a reaction from him. His face flushes red. “Can you get me some more water?”
“Of course mom.” He quickly takes the glass and leaves the room.
“I knew that would get him to react.” She laughs, me laughing along with her. She takes hold of my hand again, and says, “It was a pleasure to meet you Rose.”
“I’m glad I finally got to meet you,” I say squeezing her hand.
“It only took six years,” she says with a scoff. This makes me laugh. She was sweet and funny just like Julian.
“Here you go mom.” Julian sets the glass beside her sandwich and smiles at me. I smile back. It was great knowing something that someone didn’t know I knew.
“Sebastian should be here soon,” his mom says to him. “Go take this girl out, she needs food. Look at her; she’s all skin and bones.” She and I laugh. I forgot I was holding her hand as I go to stand up. His mom’s grip tightens on me just at I’m about to let go.
“It was great meeting you Rose,” she says.
“It was great meeting you too,” I say. She lets go of my hand and watches me as I walk over to Julian.
“Bye mama,” Julian says, kissing his mom on the cheek. I smile at that. Sons rarely did that to their moms. I could tell that he was a mama’s boy. “I’ll call you soon,” he says.
“I hate to ask, but do you think I could use the bathroom before we go? I never got a break at work.” His mom smiles at me.
“Of course my sweet Rose. Down the hall and to the right.” I smile and thank her, and head down the hall, quickly closing the door behind me.
Some s*** went down. But it’s good s***, but still s***... You were right about how he liked me. His mom told me that he loved me, but lied to me because he thought I deserved better. He’s still in love with me. He doesn’t know I know. I typed faster then I ever have, and quickly send it to Jamie. I did actually have to go to pee, so I went and by the time I washed my hands Jamie had already replied.
That is good s***! Oh my gosh I told you!! I told you so! You need to tell him you know. You need to tell him that you still love him too. I sigh and dry my hands.
She said that he wasn’t going to let me go this time. Maybe he’ll say something during dinner. I reply, and exit the bathroom and head back to Julian and his mom.
“It was nice meeting you again,” I say just before we leave.
“It was great to meet you too Rose,” she says with a big smile.
Julian and I walk outside, the sun still out and high in the sky. It was almost four thirty, and I was super hungry. “Where do you feel like eating at?” he asks as he opens the door.
“I don’t know,” I say. He rolls his eyes at me, and shuts the door. I quickly look at Jamie’s response. He would be stupid to let you go again. He was stupid to let you go in the first place! Even if he doesn’t tell you, you still need to tell him. I’m going to stay here until he drops you off. I want to watch how it goes down haha. I laugh, a little louder than intended.
“What’s so funny?” Julian asks me as he gets into the car.
“Oh, uh how undeceive I am,” I say with a smile. “And that you know me well enough to know that I am.” Julian smiles with me.
“This is true. How about Italian? For dessert we can have gelato, which I heard is the best in the city.”
“Gelato is my weakness,” I say. Julian and I laugh together as he pulls out of the driveway.

“You know,” I say taking a bite of pomegranate gelato, “you haven’t changed either.” Julian gets a confused look and his eyebrows scrunch up.
“What do you mean?”
“Didn’t you say that I didn’t change? Well, you haven’t either. You’re still the same Julian that I met freshmen year, the same one in sophomore year that I had health and chemistry with, the same one that’s sitting in front of me eating gelato.” He smiles at me.
“I guess I haven’t changed that much,” he admits.
“Not a bit.” I take another bite as Julian continues to stare at me.
“Can I tell you something?” he says, looking down at his melting ice cream.
“Anything.”
“Remember when Jamie asked me if I liked you and I said only as a friend?”
I nod and take another bite, knowing what he’s about to say. Honestly, at a time like this, I wouldn’t be able to eat. My stomach was already churning at the idea of him loving me. Now that he was about to admit it, I felt like any second I could throw up.
“Well, I lied.” I meet his gaze, dropping my spoon.
“What do you mean?” I ask innocently.
“I didn’t like you just as a friend. I liked you more than a friend. I was in love with you, but I thought that you deserved someone better than me. But as time grew on, I noticed that there was no other person who was better for you.” At that moment, I could’ve thrown up. My heart was beating so fast I thought that it was going to burst out of my chest. But, he continues.
“When I saw you the other day and you said that you weren’t married, I knew that what I did was a mistake. Now I don’t know if you still feel the way you did six years ago, but I do, and I don’t want to lose you again. I love you Rose.”
Instead of saying anything, I just sit there and grin like a little kid who is looking at chocolate. For a second he must’ve been confused as to why I was just grinning. Then after a minute, he catches on. He grins too, and we just sit like that, staring at each other and smiling.
“You honestly do not know how many times I’ve imagined you saying this,” I say.
“Now you don’t have to imagine anything. It’s all becoming real.” Julian had a point. My imagination was real now. Realer than I ever thought it would be.
We drive back to my salon laughing and going through all of the stupid moments that we had when we secretly liked each other. I told him about all of the stupid moments where I planned each conversation I was going to have with him. He admitted that he planned them too, except never really followed through.
“Remember that picture you did of me?” he asks as he parks in front of the salon.
“Of course I do, why?” Julian smiles at me, and reaches across the seat and opens the glove department. There was the picture in a frame.
“It was the closest thing I had to you. Well, except for the note that you wrote me, thanking me for talking to you about your mom.” He flips the frame over, and there was the note I wrote him. I smile as I remember freaking out about giving that to him. Here I thought that he didn’t care about it and didn’t keep it.
“You kept it all this time,” I say quietly running my fingertips over it. “I remember writing how much I wanted to hug you but I wasn’t sure if you were a hugging type.”
“Get out of the car,” Julian says, putting the picture back. He said it so serious, so I obeyed.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as he joins me on the curb.
Without even hesitating, he pulls me into him, the warmth of him body surrounding me. My muscles relax against his as his arms wrap around me.
“Just think,” he whispers into my ear. “You can do this all you want.” It makes me grin.
“What else can I do?” I tease. Julian plays along.
“Anything you want.”
I take him upon that offer. Before I can even rethink my decision, I put my hand behind his head, and press my lips to his.
“OH MY GOD!” I hear in the background. I knew already that it was Jamie, freaking out about what she just witnessed. I pull away, laughing.
“That,” Julian says laughing with me, “you can do any time you want.” I smile at him, and press my lips against his, completely melting on the inside.
I thought about kissing him so many times, and now I didn’t have to think about it or imagine it. It was reality, and reality was amazing.

It was as if I was in high school all over again. I was nervous and giddy for my real first date. Only in high school, I never had a date with Julian. But I felt the same. Jamie was over helping me prepare for the moment of my life.
“Just act like you normally would,” she says sitting on my bed as I continue to do my make-up.
“I know,” I say applying mascara. “But it’s just so nerve wrecking. I mean we went out to eat last week, but this is different.” I sigh and turn around in my chair to look at Jamie. We stare at each other for a minute, just smiling.
“You really do like him,” she says, grinning. I nod.
“I love him.” It was true. There was no denying it.
“You honestly have no clue how happy I am for you. You need to invite him to the wedding! Well, obviously you would bring him.” Jamie gets this giddy laugh, a big smile appearing on her lips.
“It’s not for another month away, but I’m sure I can convince him. I wonder what he looks like in a tux...” I stare off in the distance, trying to imagine it. For some reason it was hard.
“He’s here!” Jamie whispers as she looks out the window.
I snap back into reality and curse under my breath. Julian was early, and I still didn’t have my jeans or shirt on. Running into the bathroom, I yell at Jamie to distract him. It would be nice for them to catch up, considering they were best friends at one point. I quickly slip on my jeans and pick the first top I reach for. It was a little bit chilly out, so I decided to wear a light sweater. Taking one more look at myself, I smile and slip on my ballerina flats.
“Hi Julian.” Julian stares at me as I walk out of my room and out into the living room where he and Jamie were seated. He stares at me for a couple of seconds before smiling and walking towards me.
“You look beautiful,” he says still smiling. I feel my cheeks start to burn at his compliment. I knew that it was going to be hard getting used to someone calling me that. I look over at Jamie and smile at her.
“I guess I’ll see you later,” I say, slinging my purse over my shoulder.
“You two have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She laughs and I can’t help but laugh too.
Julian shuts the door behind him and smiles at me. I smile back, beginning to feel my heart beat faster. We walk to his car and, as usual, he opens the door for me. I take a deep breath as he walks to the driver’s side, trying to calm myself.
“So where are we going?” I ask as he sits down. He shuts his door, turns it on, and then looks over at me.
“That’s for me to know, and for you to find out.”

We didn’t really talk much on the way. We made some small talk, asking each other how work went and so on. It was beginning to get awkward, but thankfully, we arrived at the restaurant. I get of the car, and look at the place from head to toe. It looked fancy, something that I should’ve worn a dress for.
Julian holds open the door for me, and I smile at him as I walk in. He walks up to the counter and tells him his name. The hostess grabs two menus, and directs us to a table. She sets down the menus on the two plates, and says, “Enjoy your meals.” I smile at her, and go to sit down in my chair.
“Here, let me,” Julian says, pulling out my chair. I smile and sit down. He pushes me in, and then sits down in his seat across from me. Just be yourself, I think. He smiles, and I smile back. This was going to be hard.
“One of my co-workers recommended this place, so I thought we could give it a try,” Julian says. I pick up the menu and am instantly shocked. It looked like the cheapest thing on the menu was the drink, and even that was expensive. I was about to say something, but hesitate. I didn’t want to be rude. It seemed like he was just as nervous as I was, and knew that he wanted to make me happy.
“So, what do you think sounds good?” he asks me. I look up from the menu.
“Um, actually.... I don’t want to seem rude because I know that you went to so much trouble, but isn’t all of this expensive? I know you think it’s worth it because it’s me, but...” I didn’t know what else to say. I was already rambling and I’m sure he didn’t want to hear anymore.
“I thought it might be too much. But that’s okay! It’s still early. Hey, maybe we can take a trip down to the beach and get some pizza and ice cream.” This idea made me smile.
“God, I haven’t been there in forever!” I say grinning.
“The beach it is then.”

It was around five thirty when we got there. It took about a good forty five minutes just to get there. There were a couple of people out at in the water. I look around the pier and find a cool looking pizza parlor. Julian and I stop and get a slice each, taking it outside with us.
The sun was just starting to set, the sky on the horizon changing to an orange color. I take a bite of cheese pizza, continuing to watch the sky. Julian stares along with me, the both of us silent. It was a good silent though, not one of those awkward ones where you don’t know what to say. We were both eating our pizza, watching the sunset off in the distance.
“It’s pretty isn’t it?” Julian asks, breaking the silence.
“Hm,” I agree, taking another bite. “I love watching the sun set. I’m not sure why.”
We’re both silent for a minute. I finish my pizza by now, and just stare out at the ocean as Julian finishes himself.
“It’s like an ending,” he says finishing his last bite. “But it’s a good ending. The blue sky fades into a new color, waiting for the moon to come out.” He looks over at me and smiles.
“Exactly,” I reply. “I like when there’s a full moon too. They’re always so pretty.” I sigh and watch as the sky becomes pinker.
“How about we get the ice cream now?” he asks. I nod, tearing my gaze away from the horizon. Julian starts to walk away, but I take one more look.
“Are you coming?” I look away and back at Julian. I smile and nod, heading towards him.
I was sitting there with my vanilla cone in the sand, looking up at the moon and stars with Julian.
“It’s nice out here,” I say to him.
“It is. It’s peaceful.” I nod my head in agreement, and take another lick of my cone.
“Why me?” I ask it so suddenly; it takes Julian a minute to respond.
“Well,” he begins, “you’re different, a good different. You’re smart, funny, sweet, and overall a good person who deserves only the best.” He pauses for a minute. “Oh, and beautiful.” This makes me blush. Thank goodness, it was dark outside so he couldn’t see the drastic change in the tone of my face. “That reminds me; I never asked how your mom’s doing.” This quickly drains all of the blood from my face.
“Oh,” I say quietly. “Um... she’s— she’s dead...” Julian is silent for a minute.
“I’m really sorry,” he says finally. “I know how close you were to her. I bet it was hard for you. When and how did this happen?” I suck in a deep breath, preparing myself.
“Right after high school ended. It was in the summer after I saved up enough to visit her. It was a good thing I did. She ended up getting another stroke when I was with her, and the oxygen was completely cut off from her brain...” My voice begins to crack and I try so hard to hold back the tears.
I instantly feel a pair of arms around me. It was like he knew that I was on the verge of tears. I lean my head into his chest, feeling a hot tear roll down my cheek.
“I miss her,” I say quietly.
Julian pulls me in even closer. Another tear rolls down my cheek, and now there’s not stopping them.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says. “I’m never going to leave you.” He rubs his hand on the my back, holding me tight as I sob into his chest, not even caring that my ice cream fell into the sand. It was warm in his arms, and it felt safe, like I belonged there.

“Hey Rose, you’ll never guess who’s back in town.” I look up from the hair on the ground, and at Jamie.
“Who?”
“Stephanie.” I smile big. Stephanie was my other best friend that I had in high school. We still talked, but she was away in another state for college and work. I guess she came back for a visit.
“Did you tell her to come by?” I ask as I continue to sweep. Jamie nods.
“Yep, she’ll be here at closing time.” I look up at the clock and see that it’s only two. Only two and half more hours left. I sigh and continue to sweep.
For the next two hours, I’m preoccupied with haircuts, which took my mind off everything. I finished with my last appointment with ten minutes to spare. I go to the broom closet and select a broom, walking back to my station. I begin to sweep the dark hair that’s all over the floor when I hear the door open. I look up, a smile already on my face. My eyes instantly become wide.
“Hi Rose,” he says.
The broom falls from my hands, my heart slamming against my chest. No. He couldn’t be here. He wasn’t supposed to be here.
“Hey, is Steph here al—.” Jamie stops in her tracks when she sees the person standing in the room. “Oh my god,” she says quietly.
“Dean.” His name came out as a breath than an actual word, but I knew he heard me. He grins and starts to walk up to me. Before I could stop him, he wraps his arms around me, his smell overpowering my nostrils. He smelt the same that he did three years ago. I try to hug him back, but I was numb. He pulls away, and looks at me.
“You still look as beautiful as ever,” he says, his dimples on each side of his cheeks.
“And you’re still.... Dean.” This makes him laugh.
“You always knew how to make me laugh,” he says winking. I blush. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jamie staring at me with wide eyes. She was just as shocked as I was.
“Rose!” I turn around and see Stephanie in the doorway. A smile appears on my lips, all nervousness vanishing. I head straight to her, and hug her tightly.
“I’ve missed you so much!” I say to her.
“I know!” she says smiling. “It’s crazy!” She looks over at Jamie, goes over, and hugs her. Dean was still standing there. I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head. Why was he here?
“How are you guys?” Stephanie asks us. I turn and look at Dean, then back to Stephanie.
“Good actually,” I reply with a smile.
“She’s dating Julian,” Jamie pipes in. Stephanie’s eyes go wide.
“Shut up!” she says with a grin.
“It’s true,” I say. “I had a hard time believing it too.”
Everyone becomes silent in the room. Dean was staring at me, and it was making me uncomfortable.
“So, how long have you two been together?” Dean asks. I look over and stare.
“Um, a week.” He laughs at me.
“That’s nothing like what we had,” he replies. This makes everyone become even more silent.
Three years ago, I was madly in love with him. I even managed to forget completely about Julian. I ran into him on the weekend at the store. He was getting something for his dad, and I was there just getting some comfort food. I was in the chip isle when I hear my name. I turn around and see Dean standing there, dimples on both sides of his cheeks.
In my sophomore year, I developed a little crush on him. It wasn’t as bad as the way I liked Julian, but it was there. I had to force it away though, because it was my best friend’s brother. To me, it didn’t see right. Not to mention that I’ve read so many stories about the tragedies of them.
But, he was there, smiling at me. “It’s been weird not seeing you with Stephanie all the time.” I smile at him.
“I know,” I said. “It’s been weird for me too.”
The two of us stare at each other for a minute, neither one of us knowing what to say. But then, Dean finally says something.
“You know what’s funny? I used to have the biggest crush on you. But I thought it was wrong liking my sister’s best friend.” And that’s how it all began. I admitted that I had a crush on him too and that I too, thought it was weird. He ended up asking me out, and of course, I accepted.
After a year, things took a spiral. My medication wasn’t working. My panic attacks became worse, and my anxiety was getting the best of me. No matter what I thought, I thought that everyone was saying something about me. I went off on Dean one night, accusing him of cheating on me. Him being Dean and having a bit of a temper, he fed on it. The two of us were fighting. We ended up breaking up, and I never saw him again. That was the first time I had ever been so heartbroken. He was, actually, my first love.
“Yeah,” I say finally. “It’s nothing like we had. But that’s in the past.” I stare at him, begging him in my mind to stop it. He was jealous, I could tell. But when Dean thought something, he shared it no matter how ridiculous it was.
“Um.... Stephanie. Do you want to go help me with something?” Jamie stares at Stephanie with pleading eyes.
“Yeah, of course.” Stephanie rushes out of the room with Jamie, leaving Dean and I alone together.
I look down at the ground, trying as much as possible to avoid his eyes. So many questions were going through my mind. But only one stood out.
“Why didn’t you come back?” I said it so quietly I thought he wouldn’t hear me.
Dean looks over at me, straight into my eyes. He looked sad, and he knew that I saw it. He wanted me to.
“Why? Because I was stupid. I wasn’t thinking straight, and you weren’t either obviously. I felt so horrible for yelling at you that I just didn’t think you cared about me anymore. I thought you deserved someone better.” That’s when the tears came. It’s been a while since I’ve actually talked about it, and now I felt my heart shattering all over again.
“Do you know how much I needed you? I was literally going insane! I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed you...” Tears are slipping down my cheeks and I see Dean’s facial expression completely change.
Within seconds his arms around me. I didn’t resist as I did five minutes ago. I welcomed him; I wanted him. It felt good to be back in his arms after so many years. Tears continue to stream down my cheeks as I bury my face in his chest just like I did so many times. His hugs were always the best.
“I won’t leave you,” he whispers. “I’m not leaving.” During all of this, all thoughts of being together with Julian left my brain. My brain didn’t care that I was with Julian. My heart was screaming Dean’s name, completely muting my brains pleas. And in that moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.

Stephanie was staying the night with me in my apartment. It gave us some time to catch up. I didn’t share what happened between Julian and I. I didn’t really want to talk about it until she mentioned it.
“Did it really take you four years to get your own salon?” Stephanie asks. I nod
“Yep, it did. It was a long process, but it was all worth it.” I smile at her, and lay my head against the back of the couch. I see and stare at her, just smiling. She does the same thing, and it reminds me of when we did this in high school.
“What happened between you and my brother? He doesn’t like talking about it, and I didn’t really want to ask you. I mean it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me.” I reposition myself, preparing for myself for the next conversation.
“I honestly don’t blame him for not telling you. It was a complete mess actually. My medication wasn’t working. And you know how crazy I can get.” Stephanie nods. “I accused him of cheating me, and you know how your brother can be. So we went at it for about an hour, and he ended up walking out of the door. I feel to the floor, feeling heartbroken and alone. I literally sat in bed for three days straight, crying. Jamie eventually came and checked on me because I wasn’t answering my phone. I cried with me in her arms. I lost the one thing I loved the most.” I feel a tear rolling down my cheek, but I quickly wipe it away. “I loved your brother Stephanie. More than I ever thought I would. He was my first love. He was my first everything actually.”
I bring my knees into my chest, staring at the couch cushion. Another tear leaks down my cheek, but I let it roll down it instead of wiping it away. Stephanie is silent and I know she’s trying to choose her words carefully. She did this when people were upset.
“He loved you a lot too. I knew that much.” I see her smile at me out of the corner of my eye, and I can’t help but smile too. “But just think. That was the past. You have Julian now.” My stomach does a flip at the mention of Julian’s name. After not saying anything, Stephanie seems curious. “Do you love Julian?”
I finally look up into her eyes. I honestly had no clue what to say to her. I could lie and say that I do, or I could tell the truth.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. It was the truth. I liked him, I did. I knew everything about him, and he knew everything about me. But now, I was starting to reconsider my feelings with him. What I felt over six years ago was that really love, or was it just lust?
“Well... Do you still love Dean?” I nod my head. There was no denying that. I still loved him and still need him. Sure, I had Jamie, and now Julian, but I wanted him too.
“It seems like you need help. Tomorrow, spend a couple of hours with Julian, and a couple with Dean. At the end of the night record what happens in your mind, and decide who you have more feelings for. I can help you with that too.” Stephanie always did have good ideas. Better than mine, that’s for sure.
“I just don’t know what to do,” I say, another tear rolling down my face.
“It’ll be okay,” Stephanie says with a reassuring smile. Stephanie never lied. When she said that, I hope that she was right.

Today was Saturday, and I had the whole day to myself. I slept in, and got about seven hours of sleep, which was good. When I got up, Stephanie was still asleep on the couch, so I decided to take a shower before she woke up.
I came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my hair. Stephanie was awake, sitting on the couch and staring off in the distance.
“I had a weird dream last night,” she says, directing her gaze towards me. I sit down on the couch next to her, and wait for her to talk about it.
“I dreamt that you and Julian broke up.” She starts to laugh. “But it’s crazy because I know that you would never let that happen.” Stephanie continues to laugh, and I laugh along with her.
“Yeah, crazy,” I agree. I quickly turn my back to her, and make a confused look. Would that be crazy? Or did I want it to happen?
“When are you meeting up with him by the way?” I turn back around and face her.
“Um, noon I think.” I look over at the clock and see that it’s only eight thirty. Time sure did go back slowly in the morning.
“And when are you meeting my brother?” Stephanie smiles at me.
“Three.”
“And are you telling Julian about it.” I stare at her.
“No,” I say quietly. Even though I knew that nothing was going to happen, I didn’t want to tell him. Especially not because of our past.
“You should tell him. He would want you to be honest with him, and I’m sure he wouldn’t care. I mean, he’s my brother and Julian knows that you’re in love with him.” I cringe and the word love. But, as usual, Stephanie was right; I should tell him.
“Okay, I’ll tell him,” I say sighing. “But hey, we have some time before then. Want to go grab some coffee?” Stephanie instantly perks up and nods. I smile at her, and grab my keys.

I was now sitting across from Julian at the frozen yogurt place, taking a bite of my cake batter frozen yogurt.
“So what are your plans for today?” he asks me before taking a bite.
“Um, actually, I’m meeting up with Stephanie’s brother.” I take another bite before I could say another word.
“Is he back in town with Stephanie too?”
“No, he lives here. I just haven’t seen him since Stephanie left for college, and he wants to catch up.” I see Julian nod, and I can only hope that he understands.
“Were you guys close?” I freeze at that question. I stare at Julian, trying to form a sentence in my head, but everything sounded bad.
“Kinda,” I finally say.
“Well that’s good then.” He smiles at me, and then the conversation changes. We start to talk about the most random things, and soon enough the nervousness vanishes and we’re laughing. I even laughed so hard that tears were streaming down my face. Maybe I didn’t have to worry about Dean. I mean after all, he is my best friend’s brother.
It was ten after three, and Dean hasn’t shown up yet. I’m nervously glancing around, hoping that I wasn’t being stood up. I look at my clock again, and see that only a minute has passed by. I sigh and slump forward. I was so pathetic.
I was about to check the time again, when I see him. He instantly spots me and smiles, showing off his dimples. I quickly get off the swing, and walk up to him.
“Hey,” he says. “I like the place you picked.” We were at the park down the street from his old house from high school. Him and his friends would come here and play basketball, and Stephanie and I would sit on the swings, talking until they were done.
Dean and I go back to the swings where I was, and sit down.
“So, are you still with Julian?” he asks me as I start to rise up off the ground.
“Yeah. I was with him just now actually.” Dean is silent for a moment.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks me. I smile at him and nod.
“Anything,” I reply. I begin to swing my legs back and forth, and soon I’m becoming higher and higher.
“If I asked you to come back, would you?” All motion in my body stops. This conversation escalated quickly...
“Um...” I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless. I slowly come to a halt, and press my feet the ground, not even daring to look into his eyes.
“I know it was a selfish question. You’re with Julian now. I don’t have you anymore, and I just need to get used to it.” I finally look up into his eyes, and instantly feel my heart break in half. His brown eyes were sad and full of pain. I look away, before I regret saying something.
“Let’s take a walk,” I say. Dean nods, and gets off the swing, following me. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going, but I knew that it was somewhere good.
We ended up by a fountain. It was in the middle of the park, and a bunch of little kids were running around, screaming and laughing as they chase each other.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask Dean. He smiles and nods. “Remember when I was a sophomore and I was talking to you about Julian and I told you how he said he only liked me as a friend, and you said that guys say that to hide their feelings... did you lie when you said you only liked me as a friend?” My question gets him to smile even bigger.
“Of course it was! Do you think I really wanted to admit to Steph that I liked her best friend?” I smile and shrug. I had hard time telling her that I liked him myself, so I could imagine.
I see Dean dig into his pocket, obviously looking for something, but seemed hard to find. Eventually he pulls out something, and holds it out to me. It was a penny.
“Make a wish,” he says. I look him over, and take the penny out of his palm. I grasp it hard into my hand, and squeeze tight thinking of my wish. I wish that I’ll be able to choose between Dean and Julian. I wish that it were easy. I wish that everything will be okay in the end. I take deep breath and toss the penny behind me, and I hear a plop. When I turn back around, I see that Dean is staring at me, smiling.
“What’d you wish for?” he asks me. All I can do is smile.
“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.” I could only hope that it did, because now I was even more confused than before. All I wanted was something in my life to be easy, but I guess nothing was easy in this world.

“So, who’d you choose?” Stephanie asks me. I stare at her.
“I don’t know,” I say.
Before I met up with Stephanie, I replayed everything that happened, deciding who I liked more. The more I thought about it, the harder it was for me to find whom I liked more.
“Have you thought about it?” She asks me as she takes a sip of her coffee. I nod.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it all day. It seems like the more I think about it, the more it’s harder to figure out who I have more feelings for. I mean, in a way I liked Julian first. I liked him a lot. But then there was your brother three years later, and he was technically my first love.” I sigh, and take a sip of my iced tea.
“You never do forget your first love,” Stephanie says. “But then again, you’ve liked Julian how many years now? And you haven’t even been dating him for two weeks. You should just give him a shot, and see where it takes you.”
We’re both silent for a minute. Stephanie was right yet again. I should just enjoy the relationship I have with Julian now. It is, after all, the thing I’ve been dreaming for.
“I’m not trying to change your mind or anything... But, the day before your fight with Dean...” Stephanie pauses, and looks down at her coffee cup. “He was going to propose to you.” My eyes widen.
“He— he was?” I was completely shocked. Sure, Dean and I had been dating for almost two years, but I didn’t think that he even thought about it. I mean I thought about it, but it was something that we ever discussed.
“Like I said, he loved you a lot. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, and I’m sure he still does.” I continue to stare at her, still in shock. “He probably even still has the ring.” She smiles at me.
“Who... who do you think I should choose?” I ask.
This makes Stephanie think, I can tell. She pauses for a moment, looking around the room. After a minute, she sighs and meets my eyes.
“I would be happy with whoever you chose because it meant you were happy.”
“That’s not what I wanted you to say. Pick someone: Dean or Julian.”
“Fine,” Stephanie says. “Dean. And I’m not just saying it because he’s my brother.”
I’m silent for a minute. I had no words, and every time I felt like saying something, it just didn’t sound right in my head. Should I choose Dean?
“You guys were together for almost two years! He helped you cope with your depression and anxiety, stayed up all night with you when you couldn’t. You make him super happy, and I know he makes you happy too. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try with Julian since you just started dating, but think about it. You and Dean had one little fight and he left because he thought you deserved better. I know that’s exactly what Julian said, but are you really sure that you love him? Maybe it’s just lust and not love.”
Stephanie managed to put all of the words that I had trouble saying into one logical statement. I sat there for a moment, sipping my tea and replaying what she said over and over in my mind.
“I can’t choose now,” I say.
Stephanie smiles at me. “You don’t have too. Just think about it.” I nod and take one last sip of my tea.
“Okay now that we got all of that out of the way... Let’s do something fun!” Stephanie grabs my hand, leading me out of the coffee shop.
“We’re going to Nordstrom’s and finding the most expensive things we can find.” I let her drag me along, laughing.
After about an hour of rummaging through the racks, I managed to find the most outrageous clothing. It was probably the most fun I have had in weeks.

Want to do something today? It was from Dean. After contemplating on what to say, I get another message from him. Steph can come too! :)
“Stephanie! You’re going out with Dean and me!” I shout to her from behind the bathroom door. I hear the shower shut off. The door opens, and her head peeks out.
“What are we doing?” she asks me. I shrug.
“Whatever you want to do,” I say.
“Hm.” She shuts the bathroom door, probably getting dressed. After a minute, she reappears fully clothed and hair wet.
“Bowling!” She says with a grin.
Two hours later the two of us were at the bowling alley, waiting for Dean to finish putting on his shoes. I was standing there next to Stephanie, my heart beating fast. The more I stared at Dean, the more my stomach tied into a knot. It’s been a while since I’ve been this nervous. I mean what did I have to worry about. I was dating Julian.
“Who’s going first?” Dean asks, staring at me. I shrug.
“I guess I will,” I say.
The three of us get our ball and I start. I was never good at bowling. Every once in a while I would manage to get a strike, but those were on rare occasions. I take a deep breath knowing that Dean was staring at me, and throw the bowling ball down the lane. It lands on the ground with a loud thud, and rolls towards the pins. The ball hits the pins, every single one of them falling.
Honestly, I was shocked. I knew that it was luck that I got a strike. Everything good that happened to me had to be luck. And I wasn’t a very lucky person.
“Looks like we have some competition!” Dean says with a grin. I smile back and watch him as he stands up and grabs his ball.
For the rest of the game, we talked like this. Dean and I would tease each other, saying that we were going to beat the other person. Stephanie just smiled and rolled her eyes, occasionally saying that we were weird. By the end, I had gotten three strikes, and won the game.
I grinned with glory as Dean looked at me, defeated. It felt good to finally beat his at something. While we were dating, no matter what game we played he would always win. Always.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Stephanie says. “I’ll be right back.” I smile at her and nod, watching her walk away from Dean and I.
“You finally beat me at something,” Dean says in a teasing voice. I roll my eyes at him.
“Yeah, for once I did.” I stand up to go get my other shoes, but instead, I end up slipping and falling on my butt. I start laughing hysterically. Dean was by my side instantly, probably to help me up.
“Are you okay?” he asks, laughing along with me.
I nod, and continue to laugh. It was quite funny actually. I always fell no matter where I was. People were staring at me as I continue to laugh on the floor with Dean crouched beside me. He was staring at me, I could just tell. I stop laughing, and looking into his eyes.
“You’re...” Dean didn’t really finish his sentence. Instead, he leans in and, before I could stop him, kisses me.
It wasn’t like most kisses that I’ve received from him before. This one was different, more gentle and more loving. At that moment, I wasn’t thinking about Julian. I thought about being with Dean, and how much I actually missed him.
Dean finally pulls away and looks deep into my eyes.
“You’re amazing,” he says.
“Uh... I should go get my shoes on.” I quickly stand up, and walk away from Dean.
You just kissed Dean. You just cheated on Julian. Never before did I think I would be the one to cheat on someone. It was always something that I never wanted to do. I thought it was low and selfish.
“Hey are you okay?” I look up from my shoes, and see Stephanie standing above me with a concerned look.
“Yeah,” I say slipping on my shoe. “Why?” Stephanie continues to stare at me.
“Something happened. I know it too. I can see it on my brothers face, but he won’t tell me.”
“Nothing happened Steph,” I say, standing up. I force myself to smile at her, and act like nothing happened.
“Okay. But I’m watching you.”
Stephanie walks away, getting her own shoes and meeting up with Dean. I look over at him, and he looks at me. He has a sad facial expression, and it hurt to look at him. I quickly look away. No matter what happened here on out, I knew that it was going to be hard. It seemed like everything for me was going to be hard.

I walked into work the next day with a hard facial expression. I didn’t say hi to anyone. Instead, I walked straight to my station, put on my apron, and got to work. I grabbed my pair of scissors, and go to get a new pair from the back. I throw that pair in the trash, and grab a new pair from a plastic bag.
“What’s wrong?”
I jumped, dropping the scissors from my hand. I turn around and see Jamie staring at me, with her arms crossed.
“Nothing,” I say, bending down and picking up my scissors. She shakes her head at me.
“No, something is wrong. And you’re going to tell me.” She shuts the storage door behind her, and walks closer to me. I sigh. I knew that she wasn’t going to let me leave until I really told her what was bothering with me.
Before I could even begin my sentence, I burst into tears.
“I did something awful,” I say, tears streaming down my face. “I’m such a horrible person and he’s going to hate me forever.” All of the emotions are slammed into me.
I was mad at myself for letting it happen. I was sad because I knew that I was going to lose Julian and his love. But most of all, I was glad that it happened. Ever since I got back from bowling, I tried to pretend that the kiss meant nothing, but the more I denied it, the more I realized that it wasn’t true. It did mean something, and I wanted to feel it again.
“Honey,” Jamie says, pulling me into her, “what happened? Is it Julian?” I shake my head against her chest as I continue to sob.
“Dean kissed me.” Jamie’s grip on me tightens.
“Julian’s not going to hate you,” she says after a moment. “You just need to tell him the truth, and he’ll forgive you because he loves you. Things will still be the same.”
I pull away from her, and stare into her blue eyes.
“What if I don’t want it to be the same?” I ask. Jamie sighs.
“Well, it’s your decision. It’s all about what you want, not them.”
I knew then, that no matter what happened I had to choose. There was no more procrastinating. It was either Julian or Dean.

I take a deep breath, taking one last look at myself in the mirror. My face looked flawless, and my hazel eyes were sparkling.
“You look beautiful,” Jamie says behind me. I turn around and smile at her.
“It’s all because of you,” I say. “I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for you.” I hug her, wrapping my arms around her and never wanting to let go.
“It’s time,” Stephanie says, peeking her head into the room. Her brown eyes fall onto me and become wide. “Oh my gosh, you’re so pretty!” I roll my eyes but smile anyways. For once in my life, I did feel pretty.
Jamie reaches behind me and pulls the veil over my face.
“It’s time,” Jamie says. I nod at her, and grab the bouquet of flowers from the table. I take a deep breath and follow Stephanie and Jamie down the hall. I see my dad at the end of the line, waiting for me. I see him smile, and I smile too.
“You look beautiful,” he says.
“Thanks daddy,” I say, taking his arm.
“See you at the end of the aisle,” Jamie says, joining Stephanie at the front of the line.
Before I knew it, the music starts to play, and Jamie is walking out the door with her husband Adam by her side. Stephanie walks out next with Tristen by her side. The line continues, and before I know it, everyone is standing up, staring at me as I walk down the aisle.
As I look at the end, I see faces smiling at me. But only one stood out. For a minute, I take my eyes off his, and look at the crowd. My best friend’s from high school were there in the front row. Hanna, Kaelyn, Susmitha, and many more were seated, smiling at me.
We finally reach the end and my kisses me on the cheek. I hand my flowers to Jamie, and face the alter. My heart was beating fast, as it used to when I was in high school. It was the same way when I was nervous about talking to him. I stare into his eyes, and he stares back. I could easily see the love in his eyes. The priest was reciting things, but I didn’t really pay attention to what he was saying. It didn’t really matter, because what mattered was that I was standing there with the person that I was in love with.
“Can we have the rings?” My sister Stella walks up with the rings and hands them over.
We exchange vows and slip on rings, my eyes never leaving his. My heart begins to beat faster as I hear the priest says the words I’ve always wanted to hear.
“You may kiss the bride.” The veil is lifted off my face and put behind my head. I look into a pair of eyes and smile as he leans in and presses his lips to mine.
Whom did I choose? Trust me it wasn’t an easy choice. I sat there on the bathroom floor for hours, crying, just trying to make sense of my feelings. I knew that I had to tell Julian about my kiss with Dean, and I knew that I had to talk to Dean about the kiss.
I did eventually talk to Julian a day later. At first when I told him, he was mad. More shocked than anything actually. But he held his posture and said that he would respect whatever decision I made, whether it was to stay with him, or leave him for Dean.
I talked to Dean a couple of hours later, explaining to him that I told Julian and that he said I was free to choose. Of course, Dean wanted me to choose too, and he said that no matter what he would be happy with whatever decision I made.
It left me in a hard position, but in the end, there was always one that I was sure of. He was there by my side always. He knew my secrets, always seemed to make me laugh, and above all, he made me happy.
The crowd starts to cheer as I grab onto Julian’s hand, walking down the aisle with him. We look at each other as we walk. I could see in his hazel eyes, that he was just as happy as I was. It was quite funny actually. Sophomore year he said that he didn’t ever plan to getting married, but here we were hand in hand.
I picked him because he never left. Sure, we went our separate ways after high school, but he came back and he was there to stay. Unlike Dean, he didn’t run away or get mad when I needed him the most. He made sure that I got what I deserved. He made sure that I had him, and would always have him.
I finally had the one person I was in love with, and when I realized that, I never let go. I held on and here we were. Married and bound to each other for the rest of our lives. For once, I was happy, and I get to spend my happiness with the one person who loves me more than ever.
And I knew that this wasn’t the ending. There was so much more to come.