Ruby felt a tingle in her spine, she felt the same. She didn’t want to leave and she liked talking to him. She was about to reply when another message came through.
If we close this conversation there’s a chance that we won’t speak to each other again as the site tries to match you up with different partners to chat to. I don’t want that to happen and I’m hoping you don’t either. So if you want to talk again feel free to message me on here…

There was a link which leading to a phone number and a name. His name was Dylan. Something ignited in Ruby that had never happened before; she felt a sense of freedom and excitement when she talked to Dylan. He didn’t talk down to her like the rest of the world did.
For the entire weekend Ruby was glued to her phone and her laptop while she spent hours upon hours talking to Dylan. It would be the middle of the night and they would still be talking about different aspects of literature, music and then all their hopes, dreams and even their secrets. It was as if there were no limits with him. Through talking to him she felt a kind of release that she had never felt before when talking to anyone else. Even after her parents returned she would talk to Dylan as much as she could. She began to paint a picture in her mind of what she thought he looked like. They were talking once and she found out that they lived about 30 minutes away from each other on the bus.

She had told him a different name because she had read it somewhere that it was safer. She had always liked the name Holly so she decided that would be her alias. After 3 weeks of talking to each other online and by text she felt that it was time that she put a face to the name. It was driving her crazy that she didn’t know what to imagine when she was talking to him. Was he blonde, brunette, a red head? Could she drown in sea blue eyes or melt in the sight of chocolate brown orbs in his eyes? She found the courage one night and decided to text him.

Hiya Dyl, hope you’re okay. Was wondering if you wanted to meet up at the shopping centre this Saturday? xx

The confidence that radiated in her texts to Dylan, who she now called Dyl often shocked her. It was amazing what an attachment she had built to him as well as each second she waited for a reply felt like an hour.

Holly had text him. The same smile spread across his face as his phone lit up.Oh god. She wanted to meet up. What was he going to do now? Panic hit him like a train as his mind frantically raced for a solution. The reason he had gone on this website was because of his lack of confidence. Being ‘Dylan’ meant that he could find someone to talk to without the assumptions and the judgement. He didn’t like being Jase. Jase was the guy that everyone ignored, the invisible guy that everyone found easy to avoid as if he didn’t exist at all. Maybe Holly wouldn’t like him when he actually met her. What excuses could he make? He loved talking to Holly, he would spend hours upon hours chatting to her and she knew everything about him. Well, everything isn’t the right word because he never gave people everything there is to know about him. He liked having that little bit of mystery, it made things more exciting. It’s like every text or message that came through was an electric pulse waking his dormant heart. Her name was like a song in his head, the way that she managed to brighten his mood if he spoke to her and leaving him low when she took a little bit longer to reply.
It sounds pathetic. High school was a nightmare for Jase; if he wasn’t being ignored he was being ridiculed. It wasn’t his fault that his mother was so suffocating, she monitored his every move. Not that it mattered to him. When he was born, his mother had named him Jason hoping that he would live up to the meaning of his name. Jason means healer and his mother took that to mean that he would be innocent, loving and would forever be the solution to all her problems. Teenage hormones had other plans for Jase. Just as the darling little boy she knew and loved was taking shape, Jase decided enough was enough and he later seemed to cause more problems than he solved.

He was fed up with the moaning, yelling and nagging. So he took it into his hands to change. His love for music grew along with the volume of his amp day and night. You would look at him and think that he was on his was to play guitar at an indie gig, but Jase was Jase and that’s all anyone knew. Most of the time in high school he was so quiet that you’d forget he was there. That is not to say that his mind was not racing with chaotic motions of loud thought patterns. He kept himself to himself and that’s the way he had always liked it. Well, that’s how it used to be. These past few weeks Holly had managed to wheedle the information out of him that he never planned to leave his heart. He hated feeling vulnerable, that’s how Holly made him feel. Not in a bad way though, it was the fact that he had to be reliant on another person for his own happiness that scared him more than anything else. The way the he would read and the re-read every word that she said and then crave the daily conversations. It was if he was addicted to her, crazy as it sound he felt as if he knew her and she knew him more than anyone else in the world ever could.

Maybe meeting Holly wouldn’t be as disastrous as Jase was thinking. He tended to be cynical about this kind of thing and never fell for the ‘romantic’ side of things, he was a realistic not a romantic. Maybe they would meet and then everything would work out for the better for once in his life. What was he thinking? This wasn’t a lousy chick-flick where the boy meets the girl and they fall in love. This was reality. The reality where life always seemed hard. The reality where nothing was perfect, Jase knew that better than anyone. That was because this was the very same reality where his dad was dead and there was nothing that anyone could do to change that or make him feel better about it. Jase didn’t like to think about that though, what’s done is done and crying about it was never going to bring him back. Anyway, he had to be strong for his mother; it was so hard to watch her struggle everyday so he shouldn’t be selfish by getting upset as well. He needed to think up some excuse about too much homework, dentist or doctors, anything that would get him out of meeting up with her. His logical side was screaming out as the impulsive part of him sent a text.

Sounds great Hol, you just tell me a time and I’ll be there xx

That was it, no going back now. She was going to get that text and then they were going to meet. She would then meet the real him and then he would go back to his ordinary life of loneliness. Fantastic.

Her phone buzzed on the bed and made her jump. A lightning speed she picked up her phone and the words on the screen made her heart skip a beat. This was it, they were going to meet and finally get to know each other. A thought dawned on her like an impending storm towering over her. When they met he would find out that she was not Holly, he would realise that she was the same old babyish Ruby that everyone ignored as though she was invisible. She bolted up off of her bed and ran to her wardrobe. Even the sight of the perfectly laid out clothes depressed Ruby as she felt as if her mother was aware of her every move. She told herself to remain calm and to plan what she was going to wear with a clear mind and then if she looked good, she would feel confident. A smile nervously crept over her as she prayed for another miracle. Then followed the whirlwind of clothes after trying on each outfit and then chucking it on the floor in utter disgust. Why did everything that she try on decide that it would try it’s very best to look absolutely terrible? She felt as if the universe was plotting against her and any possible chance of happiness. This was going to be one important first impression and she didn’t want to look terrible when she finally met Dyl.

It took an hour for her to find an outfit that she felt vaguely suited her but not it was time for the ultimate battles. It was time for hair and make-up. Ruby’s mother resented the fact that she wore make-up and always demanded that she remove it whenever there was a scrap of it anywhere on her face. Ruby didn’t care today, she was practicing her make-up for Saturday and she would leave the house and apply it on the bus. She brushed the shimmering powder on her eye lid and admired her work, after a few strokes of a brush and lines of a pencil her work was complete. Now it was time for the hair, everyone seemed to love her hair but Ruby. No matter how much she had previously tried to style her hair it would stay perfectly straight. Dead boring and dead straight, it’s as if her hair summed up her life. It was hopeless, all the products that she had put into her hair to enhance and transform it had made it into one matted and sticky mess. Ruby realise that this battle with her hair was doomed from the start. She decided to give up and settle for her usual simple style on Saturday. You never know, maybe between Thursday and Saturday her hair would transform into amazingly styled perfection. Oh dear, back to the dreaded realms of reality.

The next few days a school seemed to drag on forever and ever, it wasn’t until Ruby got home that the evenings would whizz by when she was talking to Dylan. The mundane existence as a student was made bearable by knowing the second she got home she could speak to him. The rebellious streak within Ruby often emerged in lessons when she would because suddenly brave and text him during a class. It was risky, but it was worth it just to speak to him to make her day more tolerable. It was only Mr Base for a tiresome lesson of science, there was no harm in trying to make the lesson more interesting by texting Dylan.

It was his phone again. Jase looked like the cat that got the cream every time his phone buzzed in his pocket. He knew exactly who it was and he wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.

“What’s got into you recently Mister Misery? You actual seem like you have embarked on the activity of being happy and positive” It was Callum, Jase’s oldest friend.

He had known Jase ever since he moved to this town. Mainly because on the first day of high school they had to sit next to each other and Callum was paired as his ‘buddy’ to help him around on his first day. Ever since that day they had been friends, this meant that Callum knew him inside and out. At least that’s what Callum thought. Jase had learnt that he could lie to anyone, all he had to do was work out how they would try to read him and then completely mislead them. It was his own protection of who he really was.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Callum. Enough about me, how’s Frankie?”

Jase knew how Callum operated, turn the conversation back onto him with a chosen topic of the female species and he would be safe of questions for an hour or so. His plan had worked and Callum began to ramble on about his girlfriend but Jase didn’t like the way he talked about her. He talked about her like he had heard other guys talk about girls. Objects, that’s all they were to some people and that made the blood boil in his veins and his teeth clamp together with vengeful fury. He had to endure it just so he didn’t have to tell anyone about Holly. He wasn’t ashamed as such, he just found the secret of it all to be such a thrill. The amount of times he had been sat there hoping that she would text and then he gave in and text her first was crazy but he just felt like he wanted to. He didn’t want to, he needed to. It was like he craved the words on the screen and was addicted to the rush that it gave him when she text him because he knew that he had entered her mind.

He was still nervous about their meeting on Saturday and still questioning what possessed him to agree to the plans. The idea first impressions made him fidgety with nerves and that had always been his downfall. This meeting was going to be ridiculously nerve wracking and he knew that already and he still had a day until it was going to happen. Unusually for him, he had already planned what he was going to wear and for the first time in his life he used an iron although the clothes managed to have more creases in them before he started. A small mound of ironing had taken him hours to do but that was mainly because he was texting Holly at the same time. It was mind boggling, why did meeting someone that he didn’t know make him so nervous?

The truth is Jase had never felt relaxed, he felt like he always had to put a show on for people. His guard was always up and he would build walls a mile high and a mile thick around him if he could just so that he didn’t get hurt. When his father died and he saw a child counsellor she said that this was normal and that eventually he would learn to trust people again. He now felt that he could never get close to people because he was scared that they would get taken away too. Jase had learnt never to let himself get attached to anything because that made him feel too vulnerable. None of this seemed to matter with Holly. She managed to find a way to make Jase talk about anything, he never felt forced but now he felt in danger. She knew everything about him and he trusted her more than he thought he ever could trust anyone. It was last period on a Friday so patience from all angles were frayed from students and teachers. This was how he managed to sneakily use his phone without the constant paranoia of being seen. Each time he received a message from Holly there was a feeling of contentment consuming his every fibre.

Suddenly, the conversation stopped. This had never happened before so Jase was clueless as to handle the situation. He went over the last message he had sent her and analysed every part of the sentence to see if it was something he said. Maybe she was busy, he tried to calmly convince himself that nothing was wrong and she would reply in a minute. Each passing second felt like nails on a chalk board to Jase. What had he done? The message he had sent to her was fine, there was nothing in the text that could be misconstrued but something wasn’t right.

Ruby stared at her phone not knowing what to say. There was a knot in her stomach the size of Jupiter. She was having second thoughts about meeting up with Dylan. He seemed like the most genuine guy in the world, unlike all the over savage males that claimed to be ‘men’. She didn’t know the guy, she had never met him. Yet they seemed to have this connection, an indescribable bond that meant that they needed each other. She remembered all the assemblies, talks and warnings from her parents about ‘stranger danger’ and the risk of talking to people on the internet. She had never really taken notice of this advice until now but that’s because she had never really gone onto these websites that she was warned about so frequently. Her phone buzzed again. It was Dylan.

Are you okay Hol? Have I done something wrong? D xx

A sickening feeling stirred vigorously within the depths of her stomach. The excitement and anxiety within her heart were locked in a fierce battle of attrition. There were a million questions circling in her mind all of which made her feeling of panic increase like an infectious disease. A feeling of vulnerability hit Holly will full force. What if he wasn’t who he said he was? What if he was lying just to talk to young people? She tried to think rationally but that seemed impossible because she was caught up in her ideal dreams of the perfect guy. She went over all the information that Dylan knew about her in her mind and tried to work out how she had got herself into this mess. That was it. She decided that she needed to cut off all contact with him, she could sort this mess out and go back to her normal life. But the reason she had started talking to Dylan was because she hated her normal life. She hated the fact that every in her life was always so structured, predictable and boring. She hated that everyone thought that she was a good little girl that would never dream of stepping a foot out of line. It was then that her mother’s voice entered her head.

“See, you don’t know how to be bad now do you Ruby? You couldn’t do anything wrong if your life depended on it. It’s because you’re just like me.”

That gave her all the power she needed to ignore all the worries in her head. She had to prove everyone wrong, she had to prove her mother wrong. Ruby didn’t want to be the good little girl that everyone thought they knew anymore. That wasn’t who she really was, only one person knew who she really was and that Dylan. She had to meet him, she was going to meet him and that was final. The battle between her head, heart and gut seemed to have ended with the press of a button.

I’m fine, was just in class. You haven’t done anything wrong, can’t wait to see you tomorrow. H xx

Relief was a welcome feeling within Jase. What felt like an eternity was only thirteen minutes waiting for a reply from Holly. He was terrified that she would cancel, he may have been reluctant to agree at first but now he was finally looking forward to it she couldn’t cancel. It would completely crush him. The final period of the day was almost over and he realised that he had done nothing productive and he had not listened for the entire double period as his teacher rambled on about neutrons and protons. Not surprising considering he had been texting Holly the whole time. Jase took a break from the phone that seemed to be permanently glued to his hand and let his eyes wander around the room. It didn’t look like many people had worked that class, looking round the room he saw all the different cliques that he despised. The jocks were right in the middle of the room and the middle of the universe in their minds. The girls were like puppies at their feet waiting to lap up any attention that they were given, it was pathetic. This type of girl infuriated every ounce of his existence, he knew that he would never be with a girl like that and to be honest he couldn’t think of anything worse. Then there were the so called nerds at the front of the class who were the only ones that bothered to listen. There were the girls near the front of the class but Jase didn’t really know them well enough to put them into any kind of clique, they were just the quiet and sensible girls to him, although he didn’t really know them Jase knew he didn’t like them either. They were three of these supposedly ‘quiet girls’, two of them always seemed to be whispering to each other and then the third appeared as if she was too good for anyone, posh snob. Then there was Jase. He didn’t care which clique he fitted into and as far as he was concerned he wasn’t in any category and that suited him fine. The bell for the end of the day rang inside Jase’s head and he picked up his bag and left.
He didn’t mind walking home on his own, the walk seemed quicker now he had something to focus on. Before, the walks home had been tedious yet necessary parts of his day. But now it gave Jase a chance to gather his musings before going home to talk to Holly again.

She watched the way she looked as a familiar face stared back at her. Her reflection was so plain looking and Ruby hated that about herself. The title ‘Plain Jane’ was made for her, she knew it. Her focus had been stolen away from school for the whole of the day as she wondered what she had let herself in for the following day. She knew exactly what she was going to wear down to every single detail and she needed that otherwise her appearance would be as erratic as her emotions. She then had a thought. Was Dylan feeling the same as she was at this moment? Should she introduce herself as Holly or Ruby? Fantastic, she didn’t even know what to call herself anymore. Looking in the mirror she thought to herself how her parents wouldn’t even recognise the girl they called Ruby anymore. She had just about enough make-up on to boost her confidence, but not so much that she looked like an explosion in a crayon factory as some people she knew did. Ruby felt good about the way she looked, she felt that she looked sophisticated without looking like she was on her way to church. Each second brought another feeling of doubt creeping into her mind but every thought of Dylan made the others disappear. She did what she always did when she felt low.

Boo! Xx

There was a reply straight away.

I was wondering when I was going to hear from you again, you having second thoughts? D xx

Of course not, what about you? H xx

I think that was the silliest question that you have ever asked me. D xx

There was a beaming smile upon Jase’s face and he felt the cliché feelings of butterflies in his stomach as he realised that this was actually going to happen. He surprised himself at how confident and sure of himself he could sound when he was messaging her, while inside he didn’t know how to react to the situation. He practised what he was going to say to her in the mirror.

“Hi, I’m Jase. S***. No.” He realised that he had told her all this time that he was called Dylan, now what was he supposed to do?
“Hi, I’m Dylan, nice to meet you Holly” There, perfect. Now all he would have to do is see what she said and then the conversation would go from there. Another thought entered his head. How was he supposed to know who she was? There would be masses of people at the shopping centre on a Saturday, Holly could be any of them.

Ruby’s phoned buzzed for what must have been the hundredth time of the day.

How will I know who you are? D xx
That’s a point, he could be any of the guys at the shopping centre. She could be any of the girls. What if he saw someone else and ended up with them instead of her? That would crush her she thought to herself. Why though? She didn’t even know him, he could be completely different in person for all she knew.

Meet me by the map sign post at the entrance of the centre, see you there. H xx

They texted for an hour or so longer but then she knew if she didn’t get enough sleep she would be grouchy the next day. She didn’t really want to turn up meeting Dylan with dark circles and bags the size of suitcases under her eyes, wouldn’t be a good look. They said goodnight to each other and Ruby went to sleep with a smile planted on her face. She went over the plan in her head that she had told her mother. She had said that she was going shopping with Sienna in the shopping centre and that Josie couldn’t go because she was away with family. She had told Sienna and Josie that she was going shopping with her mother at the shopping centre so she couldn’t see them. She felt a surge of guilt when she was lying to her mother and her friends but that guilt soon disappeared when she remembered why she had to lie to them. She would never in a million years be allowed to go and meet Dylan and if she told Sienna and Josie she would never hear the end of it. She had never been able to lie before, she always managed to give away her secrets by accident even when she was a small child but it seemed like Dylan had created a huge difference in her, she was unrecognisable. Things had changed now. She had changed now.

Who was Jase kidding? There was no way that he was going to be able to sleep now, knowing that tomorrow was the day that he was going to meet Holly. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act towards her. They were confident in text, he had always had a way with words, but he knew for certain that he wouldn’t be in person but he had no idea about how she was going to act. It was the middle of the night and he had to be up in a few hours but that didn’t mean that he was any more likely to be able to sleep. He replayed different scenarios in his head of how he thought it could work out. Usually when something was bothering him he would text Holly but there was no way on this earth that he could do that now. She would think he was pathetic if he texted her now saying that he was nervous, she was probably already asleep and not worried about this at all. So why should he be? The urge to text her was so overwhelming that he turned off his phone and put it under his pillow. He needed to try and get some sleep.

Ruby was awake before her alarm even went off. This was unusual for her, usually her snooze button would be set to work over time from the amount of times that she delayed peeling herself away from her slumber. She ran into the shower and started to get ready, it was so important for her to look and feel good today. Walking past the mirror something made her stop in her tracks. She had a spot. Today of all days, she had a spot near her nose. Her skin was usually flawless and it had to be on the very same day that she was meeting Dylan for the first time that she got a spot. It may have only been a minor problem but it knocked her confidence sideways, this wasn’t just a small spot to Ruby, this one needed its own planning permission. She had to carry on getting ready because she had to get on the bus in an hour. After her shower it was time to apply her make-up and then sort out her hair before she left. Things went from bad to worse in that department. Her usually straight hair as defiant and rebelled against Ruby every time she tried to tame it. She had to settle for a less than perfect look and then sprint out the door to the bus stop. She didn’t even have time to say goodbye to her mother before she left. There was no time for that, this was too important for her to screw up.

Bleary-eyed Jase woke up feeling exhausted after a restless night of sleep. He looked at his clock. It was 10.15am. He sprang out of bed faster than he ever had before. A realisation hit him like an icy bucket of water, he had fifteen minutes to get ready before he had to get the bus to meet Holly. All logic let him in a stampede of panic of dread. He ran like a man possessed round his room trying to get ready as fast as he possibly could. The each minute of the fifteen minutes felt like seconds as each moment merged into one. He threw his shirt, jeans, and jacket and rammed his feet into his shoes before sprinting out the door as if he was a convict on the run. He didn’t care how crazy he looked, he just needed to get there on time.

The bus was heaving with irritable passengers, Ruby didn’t care. She was on the way to meet Dylan. The daydreams distracted her from the sickly passengers spurting their germs round the bus, she would be lucky if she made it out of the bus without contracting some horrendous disease. It seemed that each and every passenger was coughing and spluttering in harmony to each other, it must have sounded peculiar. Ruby sat in a daze, off to meet the guy that she had been talking to for the last month or so and she could not feel more nervous. She started to doubt her own sanity as she imagined every possible situation in her head of what could possibly happen when she met him. Every scenario ended in one of two ways: a happy ending or a complete and utter disaster. The pessimist that lived within Ruby voted that the second option was more likely to happen in reality. She had been on the bus for ten minutes and she had another twenty to go before she found out which option would happen. Either way she felt like she was going to scream, cry and throw up all at the same time, none of which would have positive results. The minutes seem to drag but Ruby didn’t mind because it meant that she had more time to prepare for the events that were going to follow this hellish ride on the overcrowded bus. There was the over powering stench of stale sweat clinging to each surface of the bus and she hoped and prayed that her perfume wouldn’t wear off by the time she got to Dyl.

Thankfully, Jase’s bus got to the shopping centre in record time and he managed to reach the sign without looking too much of a mess. By the time he was stood there it was 11.02am. He would just have to wait a little while and then he would be meeting Holly. As ridiculous as it sounds he felt conscious about the way he stood. He didn’t know how casual he was supposed to look, he didn’t want to seem eager but he didn’t want to seem as if he didn’t care at all. Jase felt completely on edge the whole time he was stood waiting for Holly. Every time someone walked past he would flinch because he was convinced it was her, each time he was met with his old friend disappointment when he realised that she wasn’t here yet.

The bus journey from hell was finally over for Ruby. She departed the bus and all of the miserable people that sat on it to go and meet Dylan. She adjusted her clothes as she walked but tried to make it look casual just in case he was nearby. It was perfect timing, she had made it to the shopping centre at 11.05 and would get to the map and be perfectly on time and ready to jump in at the deep end. This was going to be the most daring thing that she had ever done in her entire life, her mother thought that she was a ‘little angel’ If only she knew what her little girl was up to now. She had stepped over the threshold from her old life to a new one, the new life meant that she was ‘Holly’. When she was Holly she was confident, she could be whatever and whoever she wanted to be. Holly could flirt or bat her eyelid and get anything she wanted, unlike mousy little Ruby Webster who is the good little girl that sits at the front of every class as one of the “quiet ones” making it look like she was doing the work when really she’d rather been anywhere else. Up until this point in her life the most daring thing Ruby had done was steal a sweet from the sweet station in the local supermarket when she was a troublesome toddler.
As she strode ever closer to the sign her heart skipped a beat. There was someone standing at the sign. She couldn’t quite make out who it was, but she liked what she saw. This person was leaning ever so casually against the sign as if it was neither here nor there. Each step brought her closer to the sign and her fate whatever that may be. She was only feet away from the sign when the mysterious leaner looked up. A feeling hit her like a speeding double decker bus at rush hour.

Jase glanced up as the sound of footsteps drew closer. A surge of disappointment hit him when he saw who it was. He thought it was going to be Holly, considering it was now 11.08am but then again he had always been a stickler for punctuality. His heart skipped a beat for the hundredth time that day, he was so convinced that it would be her. Unfortunately this was not the case and he had to continue waiting whilst avoiding eye contact with anything that would remind him of how long he had been standing at the godforsaken, graffiti embellished sign. Perhaps it had all be a wind up, like one of those TV shows when people get stitched up and then the cameras appear from around the corner. He found himself trying to casually search for the cameras. There was nothing. No cameras, no TV presenters and worst of all, no Holly. It took him a while to register that there was someone stood next to him, he said a silent prayer before investigating who this figure was.

Fantastic. It was one of the girls from his science class. Not just any girl, it was Ruby Webster. The same old Ruby Webster that he had been in the same class as since he was 7 years old. The same old Ruby Webster that had everything and anything she wanted, and more. He cursed fate once again, why did it have to be her? They hated each other, always had done and he couldn’t see any flying pigs on the horizon that would prove otherwise. There had never been an incident between Jase and Ruby, it was just the collision of opposite worlds that exploded into a raging inferno of hate. The anger burned in his stomach, why did she have to stand there? If Holly came and saw her there maybe she would get the wrong idea? Today really wasn’t his day.

Brilliant, as if this day couldn’t be off to a worse start. Ruby approached the sign with a feeling of pure vengeance. Jase Savage was stood in front of the sign, as bold as brass as if he was the reigning king of this town. She had never liked him and never planned to. She put these feelings of what she called ‘difference of character’ aside and stood next to the sign, she didn’t want to but she knew that if Dylan ever arrived she had to be where she promised. The second that Dylan entered her mind, she felt a sense of relief which destroyed the feelings of anger. Dylan made her feel happy, he made her feel safe and as if anything was possible as long as she wanted it enough. She never felt inadequate when she spoke to him, whenever they spoke the hours would melt away along with her beating heart. When they weren’t speaking Ruby felt lost, she craved the kaleidoscope of feelings that she got whenever they spoke. It was strange; he could make her feel like the happiest person in the world one moment and then when they didn’t speak she felt an all-consuming sense of emptiness that would not rest. There was the adrenaline rush that came with every single conversation that they had ever had. There was the sense of freedom that she got with every pixel on the screen as she shed the clutches of her mother and fell deeper and deeper into whatever she could call this. The entire time she was stood waiting at the sign she felt an overriding sense of paranoia as her gaze settled in the corner of her eye. Jase kept staring at her, what was his problem?
Jase was getting more and more agitated with every moment that passed as he waited, urging time to bring him his dream girl. If things couldn’t get any worse he happened to be standing next to someone that truly made his skin crawl. She embodied snobbery as she stood in her prim stance next to but not touching the sign as he leant leisurely against it.
Great. It didn’t look like he was ever going to turn up. It seemed like Dylan was just like all the other guys that Ruby had ever spoken to. She felt a sense of anger ebbing within her but at the same time there was the overwhelming sense of disappointment that relentlessly pounding in her heart as she tried to convince herself she was better off without him. She had wanted to meet him so desperately and it seemed that he had felt the same. Dear lord she had risked getting into trouble with her parents to come and meet him and he couldn’t even be bothered to turn up. Ruby was instantly hit with a million explanations as to why he wouldn’t of turned up to meet her but they all seemed to point to the idea that this was a cruel joke. This had all seemed so real but it had become apparent that maybe her mother was right and she should stay off the internet considering this was the outcome. Another thought hit her. How was she going to go home now? Jase was stood next to her by the sign and he would guess that she had been stood up if she had been waiting here and then just left completely alone. If she waited any longer she would look like she was desperate and pathetic, standing as if she was waiting for someone. It was a catch 22 situation and she had no idea what she was going to do next.
Jase was caught in an impossible situation. Was it better to leave and look like a complete idiot in front of Ruby, not that he cared what she thought anyway. Was it better to just stand there like a lemon waiting for someone who obviously was never planning on turning up to meet him in the first place? Jase felt so ridiculous, why would a girl like Holly like him anyway? She was probably joking when she said about meeting up and had led him on this entire time just to see how pathetic he was. Jase had never felt so humiliated in his entire life. There was only one thing that he could do.
“Oh hey Callum, is it okay if you come and pick me up?” Ruby was startled when she heard Jase start to speak but soon realised that he was on the phone to his friend Callum, those two were as thick as thieves in every sense of the sentiment.

“Yeah change of plan seems like Holly isn’t going to meet me, maybe I got the wrong day or something” he continued to talk on the phone.

Hang on a minute. Ruby felt her heart and stomach drop with a dull thud. He said Holly, he said that someone called Holly hadn’t come to meet him. It had to be a coincidence, there was no way that Jase was actually Dylan, he couldn’t be. Dylan was the sweetest person that Ruby had ever spoken to whereas Jase had always seemed like the kind of person that she would never be and more importantly never want to be acquainted with. Maybe she had misheard what he said, yes, that was it. She was so busy worrying about whether Dylan was actually going to turn up that she mistakenly heard him say Holly. She tried to subtly listen to what was being said on the phone but that was proving difficult as the blood pounded in her ears and her mind was screaming in terror.

“I knew it was too good to be true because girls like that just don’t exist, Holly has definitely stood me up either that or it was a joke, either way I will see you in about five minutes yeah? I’ll wait here still until I see you pull up. Cheers”

He definitely said Holly. If he hadn’t the first time he did the second, clear as day. Ruby was panicking and didn’t know what to do, she felt horrendously sick at the news as Dylan had been the only person she had ever trusted and even that seemed to be built on lies. All the conversations that they had ever had where streaming through her mind at a hundred miles an hour. Every single secret, feeling and dream that she had told him, he knew everything about her and she thought that she knew everything about him. It seemed that she was wrong. A pang of fear roared in her stomach as she suddenly realised that one of the people that she despised the most now knew everything about her. She had to get out of there. She felt like crying, screaming and throwing up all at the same time as the bomb of emotion detonated in her soul. Her heart was racing, her mind was racing and now her feet were following the same trend. It all starting with her walking away but then without realising it she had picked up her pace to a run, not that she even knew where she was running to. Everything after that was just a blur. It was all a horrible, sickening and confusing blur.

Jase couldn’t help but be bitterly disappointed that Holly had not shown up. He thought that she was the one person that he could rely on to be there for him like she always had been. Still, at least Ruby had gone now, he was getting sick of her standing there and checking her watch every few seconds. Seeing her checking the time just reminded him of how long he had been stood there pathetically waiting, for the girl who was obviously never going to show up. Jase had a little laugh to himself. He always seemed to be waiting. Waiting for school to end, someone to pick him up, waiting for events and now waiting for the impossible, waiting for someone to actually like him for the person he was. He shouldn’t laugh at this, but he feared that if he didn’t laugh he was going to burst into tears. The logical part of his brain tried to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why she hadn’t turned up and he had been stood there like a lemon. Just as he was trying to come up with a good enough reason Callum pulled up. He walked over to the car and got and laughing, he then began to explain the entire thing to Callum while trying not to look to upset about it all.

“So that’s what happened, feel free to laugh at me now” Jase announced,
laughing at himself.

“I’m not going to laugh at you, but I may have to embark on an ‘I told you so’ instead. Girls like that just don’t exist. She was too perfect, she was probably actually a middle-aged man on the net looking for a few thrills or a joke. Don’t feel bad on yourself mate. Even if she was real, she was probably a right cow anyway! You can probably find another girl to get it on with, personalities don’t matter anyway!”

Callum was laughing hysterically at this prospect of his own humorous comment. This struck a nerve with Jase, he didn’t like the way that Callum spoke about Holly. Sure, she hadn’t turned up but maybe there was a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she couldn’t make it. It was the final statement that he made that angered Jase the most.

“Stop the car. I’m walking the rest of the way home” Jase snapped glaring at Callum who then got the hint and pulled over quickly.

“Fine, be that way about this. You’ve really got it good for that stupid little b**** haven’t you. You’ve changed Jase and I really can’t stand the way you are right now. Be my guest and go after her, you had a lucky escape anyway she probably wouldn’t like you if she met you, nobody does” Callum had fury in his eyes as he yelled this, pulling away and driving on down the road.

Jase couldn’t care less about what Callum thought of him right now, his main battle now was to work out whether he should try and contact Holly and find out whether there was something wrong. His usual pessimism seemed to rain over him as he assumed that she had just completely lost interest. Before he realised what he was doing he had already pressed send on a text to her.

Is everything okay, I waited but I guess something came up. Hope you’re okay. D xx

Ruby jumped as her phone buzzed in her hand. She was just about to send a text to Dylan but she had rationally reasoned with herself that it wasn’t the right thing to do. It was him. Oh god. How was she supposed to face him now that she knew who he was. Even though Dylan didn’t actually exist, he still did in her mind. The guy that she had picture was still alive in the depths of her mind and she just couldn’t let go of that. At times when she thought about Dylan, the thoughts of Jase would suddenly penetrate her mind and the two would morph into one. She went to reply but when she remembered who she was actually talking to she felt sick again. How could someone that she hated so much be the person that she had actually fallen in love with?

Sorry, something happened. Dyl, there’s something I need to tell you, but it’s not fair to do it like this.

His phone flashed and he felt sick. He read the text over and over again and each time it said the exact same thing. What could possibly so bad that she couldn’t tell him by text? He wasn’t sure how to respond to this because he had no idea what was going on. Jase hope that this was all a joke or nightmare or something, anything but the truth. Every conceivable explanation and scenario started to rush through Jase’s mind like a violent and ruthless hurricane. He began to panic more than he had ever panicked in his life. He immediately turned on his computer and scanned through all the conversations they had and through his text messages, scrutinizing and analysing each and every single word that they had both written. He began to question whether he had said something stupid or wrong that had upset her and meant that she didn’t want to meet her anymore. Nope, nothing at all.

He decided to reply and when doing so thought his text over countless times to make sure that he didn’t say anything wrong to her. The texts between them went back and forth until it was decided that they were to meet in a nearby park the next day. Jase knew he was in for a restless night as he speculated at what the problem might be and why she felt that she had to tell him face to face. Maybe it was nothing to worry about but then again it could be really frightening. Jase wasn’t the kind of person that was scared easily, but this thing with Holly was tearing him apart from the inside out. He had never felt this way about someone and the fact that he did, scared him entirely. The thought of opening up to someone and letting them know everything about him was something that Jase had never tried and never thought possible. With Holly, he didn’t even need to try and open up and he didn’t need encouraging, it was natural. Everything that he felt about Holly was completely natural and everything just felt right. What could have possibly changed? He hadn’t felt like anything had changed and through everything that had been said between them he couldn’t find any reason why she may have felt change. Looking at the clock Jase noticed that it was a ridiculous hour of the evening and that he needed sleep, he would meet his fate the following day.

Ruby couldn’t help but feel guilty. That was one of the millions of emotions that she was feeling at that moment. She knew it must have been too good to be true. Dylan had seemed so perfect and real but now he was nothing but an illusion of her mind. He was the sweetest and most sensitive person that she had ever come across. It still frightened her that Jase now knew every little thing about her, all the things that she had been reluctant to tell even the likes of Sienna and Josie but he still thought she was Holly. A thought struck her. Jase had told her countless secrets as ‘Dylan’ she knew numerous secrets and feelings that he had told her. The sense of guilt clinched her once more as she suddenly felt as if she had invaded his privacy. He had told her all these things without realising who she was, she suddenly doubted about whether she should have suggested meeting to explain everything, but ultimately she knew it was the right thing to do. When she spoke to him, it was as if he had the key to her soul and could unlock all the secrets and fears that she had locked away. It was the conflicting sense of fear and comfort that she had when they spoke that confused her the most. It was confusing how she could feel so nervous about a situation but so safe at the same time, this had never happened before until now. It was just incomprehensible that Jase and Dylan could be the same person, they were worlds apart. Without warning a startling thought shook Ruby to her very core. In the middle of her usual daydreams about Dylan she spotted an intruder. It was then that everything became clear and she realised that she had been daydreaming about Jase, she never thought this day would ever arrive. There had never been the slightest feeling of affection when it came to Jase but now without even meaning to it became apparent that she had replaced her dreams of Dylan with Jase. She found herself admitting to something that she never thought possible. Ruby was in love with Jase. Ruby closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

Jase awoke from the worst night of sleep of which he had ever encountered. Throughout the night he kept waking up and then falling back to sleep but it was no use, it would take hours for him to fall asleep and then when he finally did it was almost time to get up. Jase was not used to this amount of fear and uncertainty. He didn’t know what to wear, how to act and what to do with himself all morning when he was getting ready. Jase just didn’t feel sure about anything anymore. He wasn’t sure of himself and he definitely wasn’t sure of Holly, the one person he had let himself care for. Everything was such a mess and even the simplest of things weren’t making sense anymore. He couldn’t focus until he finally met her, even though he was meeting her to receive what appeared to be bad news. This was killing him either way and there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it, he had fallen for her without even trying. It all happened out of the blue and so effortlessly, he hadn’t looked for anything like this and had never been interested in doing so. She just seemed perfect, to a point that was unbelievable. Jase had just clicked with her like he had never done with anyone before, he wasn’t afraid to tell her anything she knew more about him than he even knew about himself. He left to meet her with the suspense of the news weighing heavy on his mind.

Jase was finally at the park and looked around to see if he could see her. The prospect of being stood up again was preying on his mind like vultures picking him to pieces. He studied the text from Holly which told him exactly what time and place to meet him. As he restlessly sat on the bench his mind raced and his heart followed, he could feel the blood rushing round every part of his body. In situations like this, he would usually prepare what he would say to someone in the fear of messing up but this couldn’t happen today because he had no idea what to prepare himself for. With every ounce of his existence he was hoping that the news wouldn’t be as bad as it sounded and that she would actually turn up to meet him to start with.

Ruby was approaching the park and had a sudden thought. She and Jase were mortal enemies, under no certain circumstance would they ever even dream of speaking to each other ordinarily. The second he saw her he would either leave or not understand what was going on, she had to do something.

Jase’s phone flashed, this alone made him jump fifty feet off the bench.

I’m almost at the park, Dyl you need to promise me something. That no matter what happens you will give me a chance to explain and no matter how much you want to you will stay and let me make sense of everything to you. Can you promise me that, please?

What was Holly talking about? Of course he wasn’t going to leave, he had waited this long to meet her and felt so strongly for her that leaving was the last thing on his mind. This all became too real too quickly and the fear in the pit of Jase’s stomach multiplied.

Of course I’m not going to leave Holly, I need to see you and meet you. I’m sure we can sort this, just please come here and talk. I promise I won’t leave.

Ruby took a deep breath and walked up from behind the tree to the bench. She had approached the bench from behind to ensure that Jase wouldn’t see her and then freak out. She went to speak, but the words ran away before she could catch them. She sent another text.
I’m here, just please remember what you promised.

Jase turned around and couldn’t understand what was going on.

“Oh, it’s you. I’m sorry but can you meet your little girlfriends somewhere else Ruby I’m meeting someone here and it’s really important that we are alone. Run along little snob” he sneered at her.

“Jase, it’s me. Holly. I know this all seems crazy and you probably won’t believe me and I was as shocked you are but…” Jase cut her off.

“What are you talking about? You are not Holly. Did Callum tell you about this! I can’t believe that you would be so sick, I had you down as a lot of things snob but sick was not one of them!” he was furious, Jase had never felt so angry in his entire life.
“I am Holly, I did the same as you did and went onto that site with a fake name to find people to talk to. If I wasn’t Holly how would I know that your biggest secret is that you were the one that found your dad when he ended his life even though you tell people he was killed. Your favourite season is winter because that’s when all your fondest memories happened and your biggest dream is to work for a charity to stop people from thinking of doing what your dad did because you can’t bear the thought of other people dealing with all of that. Trust me Jase, I couldn’t believe it was you either but you have to believe that I am the person that you have been talking to for all this time, the person that has the same feelings for you as you do me” she stuttered and stammered on each word whilst trying and failing to hold back the tears fighting to fall down her face. She was quivering like a leaf in the wind as she tried to make sense of everything.

He asked her to prove it. Still shaking, she retrieved her phone from her pocket and showed him all the texts that they had sent each other. His face turned whiter than a sheet and then returned to the blazing red of anger that she had been met with when she was trying to explain.

“I was joking all along, I knew it was you of course and I did it to find out everything about you so I can destroy your perfect little life at high school. Well done creating Holly, surprised you can do that but you are nothing but a snob and if I ever set my eyes on you again it will be a century too soon. Go to hell!” he grabbed his bag from the bench and stormed out of the park at an inhuman speed.

He felt sick and angry all at the same time with an overwhelming sense of confusion that wouldn’t leave him alone. She had to be lying, there was no way that Ruby, the snobbiest person of all time, was Holly. Holly was sweet, perfect and the most amazing person that Jase had ever spoken to in his entire life, Holly and Ruby were poles apart. This had to be some sick joke, Callum probably told Ruby thinking he was hilarious. Jase knew that this could have not been the case because she had proved that she had all the texts. Then again, it could have been a decoy phone used for ‘Holly’ to wind Jase up. She knew everything about him, she wasn’t lying. Holly was the only person that he had ever told about his dad, not even Callum knew that. The thumping in Jase’s head was almost too much to bear as he sat in his bedroom curled in a ball on the floor. He knew in his heart that none of that was true, but he was so angry. There was no way that he was going to show weakness by admitting that he was upset. He was left feeling bitter and confused because he was in love with someone who didn’t even exist. She was everything that he had and now there was nothing left, he was all alone again. That was it, he never wanted to speak to her or see her again as long as they both lived. He hated Ruby but loved Holly.

There was a lump in Jase’s throat, the tears pricked at his eyes and before he knew it they began pouring out. He was crying until he felt empty, as if there was a deep void within him that ached with intense and agonising pain. The only time he had ever cried more than this was when he found his father. Until now he had never opened up to someone as much as Ruby, he was often surprised at how easy it was to tell her everything and how she made him feel. He knew it himself that even though she wasn’t Holly that he loved Ruby. Ever since they had first started speaking online all the time ago he knew that he loved her, she had this way of making him feel like he was the most special person in the world and that he was completely safe when they were talking. He wasn’t even sure why they had hated each other so much in the first place, all he knew now was that he loved her. She could never know, there was no way on this earth that he could tell her how he really felt about it. It would change everything and he couldn’t risk being hurt again. That was it. Jase was going to have to forget about her and then eventually he would be able to get over her and forget about everything. Holly wasn’t real, he needed to accept that.

Ruby kept replaying the scenes of Jase shouting at her and then storming away. Each footstep in her mind was like he was stomping all over her heart. When she returned home she ran upstairs in her once again empty house and dissolved into floods of tears. She felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest and then shattered into millions of pieces. Ruby felt battered and bruised from the inside out and the pain within her was making her feel sick. Her head felt as if it may burst and the salty tears that sprang from her sad eyes burned as she looked around the room. But it was hopeless. It was all a blur. The room was a blur, her life was a blur and now she was just a broken and beaten blur. She had guessed that he was going to be shocked and that there would be a lot of explaining to do but she had not expected things to explode as much as they did when she told him. The words kept ringing in her ears.
“You are nothing but a snob and if I ever set my eyes on you again it will be a century too soon” She was nothing to him. Nothing at all. That’s what hurt her the most, the fact that she couldn’t bear the thought to be without him but it seemed that he couldn’t even bear the thought of her at all.

Another thought struck her, how was she supposed to cope with seeing him around high school every day. That would kill her, this was killing her anyway. Whenever she felt low she would run to Dylan but now she couldn’t because he was the main reason that she was feeling low. Low was an understatement, rock bottom would be an improvement on how Ruby felt.

The next few days were torture. Jase wanted to text Ruby and admit everything to her, tell her exactly how he felt. Tell her that he couldn’t be without her, that he ached to talk to her and that every single part of him wished that they could be together. Every moment of everyday he would be thinking about her and the guilt would hit him like a slap in the face reminding him of all the things that he said to her. He was hurt and he was confused he didn’t mean any of it. He did what he had always done; he was scared of showing his true feelings so he lashed out and put his guard up again. Ruby was the only person who had ever made him let his guard down, without even trying to and he didn’t need to try either. Every night since they had started speaking he would lay awake coaxing himself to sleep but his efforts were futile, he was too busy thinking about her. Whenever he would think about her he would wonder if she was thinking about him too. Before he found out who she really was he would wonder what she looked like, dream about her but he could never make out what her face looked like. Ever since he had met ‘Holly’ he had found himself dreaming about Ruby. The way that even when she said nothing you could tell that she was thinking about something and was caught deep in her own mind as her intensely dark eyes studied her surroundings. He loved how she looked when she smiled when it showed the fullness of her rich pink lips and the way her face would glow. It was all framed by her billowing brown hair. He couldn’t escape the fact that he was in love with her, he wasn’t even sure if he could resist telling her. Each day without talking to her felt like a century and the days felt empty. Jase felt empty.

Ruby spent the majority of the next few days locked in her room. She didn’t want to speak to anyone or see anyone ever again. It was driving her insane that she couldn’t talk to Jase because he was the one person she had always felt that she could talk to. Now, she had no one to turn to. The ticking of clocks just reminded Ruby how long it had been since she had spoken to Jase. She had hoped that when she told him, that he’d calm down and understand. Ever since he found out the truth there were no texts, nothing. It took every bit of willpower that she had to make sure she didn’t text him and there had been moments when the urge to speak to him almost became too much to handle. The first few days after the entire incident, she pretended to her mother that she was ill to stay home from high school just because she couldn’t cope with seeing Jase again. It then came to a point that she realised that she would have to face him eventually, she decided that she was going to go back to the next day and then face whatever it was that was in store for her.

“Ruby, there’s someone at the door for you!” Ruby’s mother called up from the bottom of the stairs.

Ruby sighed and hauled herself up from off her bed and the protection of her duvet. She passed a mirror as she went to leave the room but was stopped as she caught sight of her own reflection. She was unrecognisable. Her eyes were red and puffy and her skin was painfully pale with the black tracks of tears that traced her face. She didn’t care, she didn’t care about anything anymore. She summoned the energy to drag herself down the stairs to greet her mystery caller. As she descended the stairs she saw the look on her mother’s face on account of her startling appearance but that didn’t matter to her.

“Oh gosh Ruby! Right, well I will leave you to your guest” her mother looked concerned the second she saw Ruby but she ignored this.

Ruby opened the door to something that she had never expected to see.

“Whatever you do please just give me a chance and don’t slam the door in my face. Please Ruby, promise me” it was Jase. Jase was stood at her front door.

“How do you..” she managed to utter but was cut-off before she was finished.

“Just promise me” Ruby had never seen Jase with such a serious look in his eyes.

“I promise but..”

“I need to tell you everything Ruby and before you ask, it doesn’t matter how I found you, all that matters is the fact that I have found you. The most important thing is now that I have found you and now that I have I never want to let you go. I swear to you I didn’t mean anything that I said when you told me it was you. I really care about you Ruby”

She couldn’t believe what was happening, she felt as if she was watching all of this and it was all some crazy figment of her imagination.

“Care about me? You care about me! If you care about me why did you scream at me when you found out and then not speak to me at all after that? You don’t care, you just don’t!” she didn’t care if her mother could hear her, she was just so angry that it erupted from her in a fiery stream of words.

Jase took Ruby by the hands, staring deep into her eyes he began to speak.

“It’s because I care about you that I didn’t talk to you. You won’t believe me but it was tearing me apart every minute of every day when I wasn’t talking to you. If I didn’t care do you really think I would be standing here? I have told you things that no one else knows about me, you have made me feel like nobody else ever could. Whenever I try to convince myself that I don’t have feelings for you I realise that I can’t do that because it’s the one thing that I have been sure of all along. If you could please just find it in your heart to consider it because I know that I could not live with myself if I just let you get away, you complete me and without you there is the emptiness that cannot be filled. I know everything I am saying sounds like a cliché, but I can assure you that everything I feel is real and we have something special. There is this connection between us that I have never experienced before and didn’t think was ever possible for me to have. I never had the chance to know the real you and now I do I cannot forget you and would never forgive myself if I let you walk away without telling her how much this is killing me. I have never felt this way about anyone Ruby, anyone except you. Please I am begging you to give me a chance, give us a chance because we are meant to be together. Fate brought us here and this is where we need to stay. Holly may not be real but Ruby is and I love her. I love you Ruby”

Ruby stood there, speechless. Her heart was in her mouth and eyes were brimming with tears.

“I love you too” she didn’t need to think about it, these words spoke themselves.

“Promise?” he smiled.

“I promise”