Fire, smoke, and screams filled the air as I tried to remove myself from the vehicle. I rolled out of the door and limped towards Janet’s car. The trucker was able to crawl out calling 911, but as I tried to udder an apology, he blacked out with cellphone in hand. Presumably from a loss of blood. I finally reached the car door and was able to pull Janet out while I yelled,


“This is my fault, this was all my fault! I’m sorry!”

Janet wasn’t breathing, I performed CPR for as long as I could without realizing that I too, was bleeding from my wrist. In my life, I never knew that I could feel so helpless, pathetic and ashamed all at one time. I couldn’t put strength in my hand, making it almost impossible for me to pound her chest. The glass from my car window, cut deep. Blood gushing out, with me blowing air into Janet’s mouth over and over, there was nothing more I could do, and with my last breath I whispered,


“God, help me. Please...”


Blood everywhere, the road becoming colder, the light dimming slowly as I tried to fight the creeping chill emanating from my body. I kissed her lips for the last time, as darkness and tears clouded my eyes and vision. For never in my life have I felt so scared, never in my life have I felt so...


so alone......

A cold silence filled the room, I saw myself lying down on a bed with no idea where I was. Slowly, I was regaining consciousness,


“Where am I?” I muttered,

“You’re in the hospital, you lost quite a bit of blood, enough to lose consciousness, you’ll be alright, but you’ll have to stay in bed for a while. You see, you also suffered a minor concussion, nothing too serious, but we recommend that you rest here for another day or two.” Just before he left the room,


“What happened to Janet? Ms. Styles, Janet? Is she alright?”

After a short pause,

“All you need to know right now, is that according to multiple witnesses, you saved Ms. Styles’ life. We’ll update you further when you’re rea...”

Abruptly, “I’m ready to know now. I need to know what happened to Janet.”



“Mr. Barron, how Ms. Styles survived the crash was nothing short of a miracle, and how you performed CPR with a dead hand, was another feat in itself. You need to rest.”


I sighed, “Fine, but doctor how long was I out and what happened to the trucker.”


“17 hours, Mr. Barron, I do need to attend to the other patients in this hospital, and as for Mr. Randal, I’m afraid to inform you that he was proclaimed deceased before we could get the plasma into his system. Please, do not blame yourself, during the autopsy we did find a moderate amount of alcohol in his blood stream. Please, rest now.”


Seventeen hours, Janet, Rebbecca... damn her, but before I could finish cursing her out, I found several notes next to my bed. One was from Rebbecca herself. Spitefully, I opened the letter:


Dear Kendell,

“I’m sorry for what I did and what happened, they couldn’t tell me what happened to Janet, but they said that she was alive. I know that I was drunk and immature. Please, forgive me. If I hadn’t have gone to your house none of this would have happened. I understand what I did in the past was wrong, and that we need to move on. Kendell, I know now that Janet is your world, she is everything to you, and I hurt you both so much. I promise to make it up for the both of you, some day. I’ll try my best at the least...”

Love, Rebbecca.

P.S, Don’t worry, your parents said they were coming in as soon as they could, but the next flight to Seattle was delayed due to strong winds.


Another sigh escaped from my lips. After everything I said, Rebbecca was noble enough to ask for my forgiveness. She is forgiven, and I said to myself,


“A miracle that Janet was alive, not yet, I need to see it for myself...



then I'll believe in miracles.”

Two days later, I was finally able to leave my bed and head home. They said that visiting times were over and I couldn’t see Janet, she needed rest. My parents finally arrived gawking at me at how much the car was and how it was my fault, but they don’t know that I saved Janet, they wouldn’t have cared, they only cared about me. They didn’t like Janet cause she was “troubled”, but I love her, and my parents love me, almost a bit too much. My car was destroyed in the accident, saved a year for that car and it’s going to cost me months to repair it. None of this actually mattered, Janet flooded my mind.

(LATER THAT DAY)


A hot meal, a warm bath, and my old bed. Starring at my ceiling with such intense thought that I was imagining myself tearing the walls down with my mind, a small chuckle to myself, but I knew that no laugh was actually worth laughing without Janet.

“What was that pause for, is Janet alright or not?” I whispered, but talking to myself wasn’t going to solve the mystery. Then my dad walks in my room,

“Son? I know what happened, Rebbecca told me everything. What you did was very brave, but why you chased her was very foolish. I know you don’t like the words that are coming out of my mouth, but love is dangerous. You need to know how to control it and not let it spin out like a wild fire.”

A short pause.

“Well, the past is past and what happened, happened. You must understand, that what happened cannot be rewritten, but what you did during the accident shows me that you love Janet, with such passion that even in your dieing breath you were still willing to give it your all and save her, which I’m very proud of, but next time, just let her go, and give her time to think, if she loved you, she would’ve come back and let you explain. That is love, it is patient and it is kind.”

Trying to man up, I tried not to cry,

“Thanks dad, you always know what to say.” With a smile, he got up and left the room, but I heard something odd,

“...have mercy.”

Confused I had no idea what that meant, but I better rest now, the sooner this day is over, the sooner I can see Janet.

“Mercy...”

“Finally.” I said to myself as we headed towards the hospital, raining as usual, but my spirit wasn't hindered at the least. Running like an idiot, I stampeded towards the front door of the hospital. As I arrived to the check-in desk,


“Hello, I'm visiting I want to see your patient, Ms. Styles, Janet?” Trying to catch my breath,


“Ah yes, Ms. Styles she’s in room 108, please check in here, by signing your name and phone number.... oh wait, oh you were here 4 days ago. Never mind the number, please just sign your name.” With great haste, I signed, then dashed through the hallway. When I was stopped by the doctor who treated me that fateful day.


“Ah, yes you. She’s in there, but...I-I have to inform you that what you see may be a shock, and I need you to first relax and catch your breath before I explain to you exactly what happened.”

Looking back, my mother was in tears and listening to what was going on inside, I heard Mr and Mrs. Styles weeping. What did they know that I didnt...

“Understood, doctor, doctor...”


“Phineas, Dr. Phineas. Please, follow me and embrace yourself.” We slowly walked into the room, and I finally saw Janet, but...


“You! You did this to her! How could you! We trusted you to follow and protect her in Korea! We trusted you!” With mass confusion all around I picked up the clipboard and saw her current status: Coma. After, what I did she still fell into coma?!


“How is this possible, I-I performed CPR, I did everything that I could! How is she in a coma!” With dreadful silence, I saw the frustration in Dr.Phineas’ eyes.


“I’m afraid you got to her a little too late, you did get her enough oxygen for us to be there in time to start ventilating the air through her lungs, but because of the trauma, and a major concussion. There was very little air to be ventilated into her brain. I’m sorry, but we did what we could do, and you did what you did at the best of your ability. I’m sorry.” He left, the room, but the onslaught from Mrs. Styles continued.


“Why did you chase her! She would have come back for you, to let you explain! You are her world, is she your world? She sacrificed so much to be with you. She was accepted to MIT, Brown, and even Dartmouth, but because of you she chose to go to Washington University, I mean it’s still good, but the amount she gave up for you and then... (hand gestures) this?! Is this how you’re going to repay her? By putting her in a coma?!”


“Silvia! it’s not entirely his fault, he tried his best, he saved her for the most part, at the least, we should stay silent.” Mrs. Styles, kept calm and nodded at her husband, and what sound was left was the pitter patter of rain hitting the windows, it was silent.

Too, silent.

“Kendell, Silvia and I will be leaving you alone, we’ll visit her tomorrow. Despite everything that happened, you performed a miracle, son. I personally thank you, for saving her life. Silvia would thank you too, but you know her, so stubborn to what could have been, instead of what is now. Keep your head high, you saved a life, but what happens next, only God knows.” Words could not form in my mouth, but he understood, he always does. The door finally made it’s last creak and I was finally alone. I moved to her bed side holding her hand.


“Remember, when we first met? Yeah, it was pretty something, huh? I just came out of Church and there you were, I was new in the neighborhood so I really didn’t know anyone. I was shy, I think you were shy? (Innocently chuckling).”

(TIME: 2007, FALL, 3:12PM, OUTSIDE CHURCH)


Shyly, “Hi what’s your name?”


“Janet... Janet Stlyes.”

Pause.


“Mine’s Kendell, K-Kendell Barron....do you like rain?”

(TIME: PRESENT, INSIDE HOSPITAL)


(Laughing) “Do you like rain? My goodness, I can’t believe I actually asked that.”

There were long drawn out sighs that seemed to endlessly slip through my lips. My parents were waiting for me, but I beckoned them to come back later. They know when to come back. I folded my arms and lied my head near her side...

“Miracles...”

I just, needed some time alone.

“Mr. Kendell, Barron? Please wake up, visiting time is over.”

It only felt like five minutes had past. Cooperatively, I woke up and head home. Without dinner, or time on the computer, there was nothing more that I wanted, but to see Janet smile again.

(THE NEXT DAY)


The sun kissed my cheeks with the hopes of a brighter day, surprisingly, it didn’t rain today. Odder still, there was a rainbow out, yet, no clouds nor even a puddle of rain. An odd day indeed.


There was a note left on the refrigerator:


Dear, Son
“Your mother and I are out to see your grandmother for a couple of days, she’s feeling slightly ill and we’re just going to drop off some medication. There’s money on the counter and a surprise for you in the garage.”


Love, Your Parents.


The garage, no way. It was my car, not a bad day to start the week.. Since, the visiting hours were only 12:00pm to 6:00pm, why not just go for a ride.

As I rode, I started to remember my first date, with Janet.

(TIME: 2010, WINTER, SEOUL, KOREA)


Ill-focused, with distraction all around, I walked to Janet’s apartment the door opened and I spoke, with great haste:

“Will you kasngogvakfbnamsl me!?” I failed to utter the words that I had planned to say so plainly. Suddenly, all the blood from my face quickly flushed away and all that was left was a white face full of confusion and disappointment.

“What? Say it again, Kendell, slowly.” She already knew exactly what I was going to say, but I guess she just wanted to see me suffer.


“Will you go out on a date with me.” Without a second thought,

“Okay, since I’m busy all week except today, let’s go now.” With great surprise we were off to the restaurant where we shared a great laugh, but also awkward conversation. It was my first date, I had no conversation topic besides one, which was talking about Emma Stone in the movie “Easy A.” I loved Emma Stone, still love her today, just not the best topic for conversation especially when we’re both religious and talk about losing virginitys. Stupid, stupid, stupid.


We walked down Seoul’s man made canal and at the very endl, when the moon was brightest and the moment was right, we shared our first kiss.

(TIME: PRESENT, HOME)

When I arrived home, it was, eerie. A comfortable, eeriness. Something was off comfortable and eerie? There was a strange light, illuminating my room, and as I slowly approached and my body was in the room, the light shined, blinding me and I heard a voice:

“You, called?”

“Well, you called me, didn't you? 4 days ago if I recall? You said “help me”, I’m here, in-fact I always was, I just chose today.” There was a dull silence, and words could not escape my throat.

“You know, the hospital’s visiting times are open now, we could go visit Janet?” There was no expression on my face, just an open jaw and a numb tongue.


“I’ll take your silence as a yes, I'll meet you there.” Then he was just gone. I finally caught my breath, and bolted toward the car.

“Could that really be him? God? Impossible.” I entered the hospital toward the desk,
“Uh, Kendell, Barron.” He’s gone? Hm, that didn’t last long...just as I turned around he was sitting in the waiting room.

“Gah!” I screamed,

“Mr. Barron, are you alright? It seems as if you saw a ghost?” There it was again the same face I had when I asked out Janet for the first time.

“Yes, I’m fine, but do you see a man in a white suit in the waiting room?” I asked sheepishly,

“No, but I do see a very white and pale face right in front of me. You may proceed to room 108.” I walked down the hallway.

“Anesthetics must be much stronger nowadays...”


“Why so spooked, Kendell?”

“Well it’s not everyday you get see God in the waiting room of your general hospital.”

“Very amusing, Kendell, well there she is, Janet Styles. What do you see in her Kendell?”


What did see? Well my answer was quite obvious.

“I see..”

After a short pause, “You see the what in who?” It was Dr. Phineas.


“Are you alright Kendell? Your face is abnormally white. Did you see a ghost or something?” jokingly,


“Yeah I saw God.” Dr.Phineas was without a word, he just smiled, nodded and walked away. I finally entered the room, surprisingly, I only saw Mr. Styles. To start the conversation,


“Where is Mrs. Styles?” Mr.Styles looked lost,


“Oh sorry? Ah, yes, Mrs. Styles is feeling a little ill today. Come, sit. (Pause) Do you believe in miracles, Kendell? Because I do, and everyday that passes is another day closer to my girl waking up. I know for a fact that she’ll wake up. She’ll wake up.” I didn’t know how to reply,


“Yeah, I'm sure too. I don’t know what I would do without her...”
“I have a few ideas.” God, was sitting to my right scaring me half to death. I whispered,


“Do you always have to do that?”

“Sometimes, Kendell, it’s the only way I get humanity’s attention nowadays.” With deeper thought,

“Like the day of the crash?” You knew, you knew that I was going to call you, didn’t you?”

God chuckles warmly,

“Yes, of course I knew.” then he disappeared, just like that.

“Kendell are you alright? Who are you talking too?” Realising that Mr. Styles was still talking to me,

“Oh uh, I still feel a little doped up.”

“Ah, humph, I guess medication these days are a lot stronger than I remember. I asked...”

God interrupts, “Kendell?” Spooked again,

“God, I love you and all, but that’s gotta stop.”

Chuckling, “I have stopped time for us, just five minutes.” looking around, everything did stop, the heart monitor, the clock, the nurses and doctors. Everything, just stopped.


“Do you know why I’m here? Don’t answer, I’m here to give you a second chance. You know you wanted Rebbecca to kiss you, maybe even more, you know the darkness running through your heart. Over the years I have observed your actions with Janet, and they all seem half hearted. The last “I love you” you said to Janet was half toward Rebbecca as well, and remember I know you more than you know yourself. If you want Janet to love you, you must confess your actions with Rebbecca, she will forgive you, she always has forgiven you... I have plans for you and Janet, but there is no good future if you return to Rebbecca. This is the last time I will be here, but remember I’m always with you, just not completely in your sights. Return to your conversation with Mr.Styles, he is a righteous man you can trust him with all your heart.”


“Do you love my daughter?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I just want to know, what is she to you?”


“She’s my world, and there is no other place I’d rather be, than to be by her side.”

“You shouldn’t be here Rebbecca.” With her being so intoxicated it was almost sickening to watch her walk into my home.

“You know you want me...remember when I visited you in Korea?”

(TIME 2011, WINTER, 1 DAY BEFORE NEW YEARS, SEOUL, KOREA)


“Rebbecca it’s been too long!”

“Yeah, it has! Oh, what’s that ring on your hand? You and Janet? A little early to be getting married, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s a Korean thing. A year anniversary present. It’s kinda nuts there’s a week anniversary, then a month anniversary, then like three months, bah I don’t know the whole story, but yeah relationships in Korea are like supposed to be really glamorous.”

“You guys should get married.” Janet steps in,

“What the hell is she doing here?” Rebbecca, offers Janet a handshake, but quickly retracts her hands soon afterwords.


“Okay, well I better leave you two alone, the countdown is about to start!”

(TIME: 4 DAYS AGO, BEFORE THE ACCIDENT)


“I know you took our rings, Rebbecca, and right before New Years? Why? Is the past really that hard to forg..”

“You know you still like me Kendell...” the stench of liquor fills the room.

“That...was past, I don’t, anymore.”

“Don’t lie to yourself Kendell. I took those rings because I knew that ring belonged on my finger, and not hers, am I right?”

“Never, not aga..” she wrapped her hands around my head and kissed me.” I couldn’t resist, I... I didn’t resist.

Janet walks through the door. Flustered and with fury, she left.

“I never want to see you again!”

“Is something troubling you Kendell?” Mr. Styles waking me from my nightmare,

“Uh, no, just a dream.” The heart rate monitor starts to pick up, and Janet’s eyes open for the first time.

“She’s awake! Oh, thank God!” I rushed to her side holding her hand...

She slaps me.


“Why?” Deep, in confusion I wonder why should we do such a thing.

“Why? Rebbecca kissed you, you didn’t even fight it, go back to her and never talk to me again.”

“Rebbecca you’ve been out for three...”

“Out of my room now... get out... you promised.” I didn’t understand, God said that she would forgive me, she didn’t even give me a chance to explain what happened... as I walked out of the hospital the sky turned dark, and rain started to pour.

“Just like a damn movie...” I moped my way to the car, and drove home.

“What’s going on? I don’t understand...” something was wrong, the eeriness returned, hoping for God to make a reappearance, it was not God, but Rebbecca waiting for me at the front door with...

a devlish smile.

“Aw, is poor Kendell not having his way today?” She starts to hover around, she’s flying?

“How are you flying? What’s going on here?”
“Do you honestly think that you’d be visited only by God himself? Of course not, it is I, the Devil! Just in this erotic form, I can see why you take an interest in this girl’s body it is quite... seductive.” Quickly, I ran into the house and into my room as fast as possible. Suddenly, she appears on my ceiling.

“You really think you can run from me? I know you want to sleep with this, Rebbecca, why can’t you admit it? Do you really think it’s rings she wants? Of course not, its just merely you, she wants. I must say, that this must be the strangest day of your life! Isnt it?! Being visited by the great and holy, but being tormented by the sinful, and unholy. You, Kendell my boy, you know that you can still make it with Rebbecca, why not just break Janet’s heart now? She’s not your world...” as thunder booms and lightning strikes...

“I’m your world....”

(Pause)


“Gah!” Breathing heavily, I awoke in my car, wondering if everything was just a lie.


“No this is too weird... this should not be happening to a nineteen year old kid! It was just an accident, and that was just a dream.”

(Pause)


“Oh, was it?” There he was, in the back of my car, this time, he was just a black cloud.

“Drive Kendell, drive back home, we have much to discuss...”

“No, how about here in my car right now?!” Impressed the devil moved toward the front seat and took the form of Rebbecca, again.

“Tell me Kendell, why did you not resist my kiss?”

“What do you mean “your kiss”.”
“Well she was drunk, it made it easier for me to manipulate her. Thus, it was my kiss.”
Disgusted, I vomited out of my window.

“Oh, come now, you didn’t need to do that, did you? (Laughing) You’re too much fun Kendell.” This isn’t real, I knew it wasn't real.



“You are quite dumber than I thought, you just can’t seem to wake up when reality smacks you right in the face. Look, Kendell, I’ll make you a deal break up with that saint, Janet, and I’ll give you who you’ve always wanted from the start, Rebbecca. As another bonus, she’ll make all your sexual desires come true.” She stretches out her arm awaiting my hand.


“I, I don’t love her, Rebbecca was just past and nothing more.” Displeasure, struck across the devil’s face.


“How dare you defy me! I will see you burn in the deepest and blackest pits before you even reach the gates!” Returning into the cloud of smoke, he disappears into the night. The rain stopped, and the clouds were gone.

“This is not going according, to plan.”

I finally fell asleep that night wondering what would happen next... would the devil visit me again? Or would God intervene and help me...


Suddenly, a shock went through my chest.


“Ack! What the hell?!” Then again.

“What’s going on?!” And again, and again, I began to lose my consciousness. Everything, my vision became clouded again, and I couldn't see anything...


“Wake up...”


“Wake up...”


“Wake up!!!”


“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”


“I’m sorry Mr. Barron, but I don’t think he can recover from...” There was a large beep, then again.

“Impossible.”


“Doctor...Doctor, Phineas? Janet..?”

As I regain vision, a brunette walks through the door, with thick geeky glasses, tears streaming down her slightly freckled face, and a smile of relief.


“You’re alive... after you flat lined I lost all hope...I don’t know what I would do without you... you’re my world, my only world...” Still out of breath.

“Forgive me...” tears begin to roll down my cheeks as she cried “Yes, I forgive you”how many times, I lost count.

“I saw, God, and the devil, and Rebbecca and...” There she was, Rebbecca with the most guilt ridden eyes I have ever seen in my life.


“Here, these belong to the both you, I should leave.” With an outstretched arm, and a difficult breath.

“Wait...I, forgive you, please forgive me.” Confused.

“For what?” Both confused.

“Just forgive me...”

“Okay? I forgive you for whatever you did.” Finally.

“When I’m all recovered, let’s go on a date, Janet.” Tears endlessly flowing down her soaked face.

“Okay.” Everyone, starts to laugh, even myself, but just a little, it hurt to laugh.

(TIME: ONE YEAR LATER, SUMMER, SEATTLE, SUNNY)


“Today, was when I woke up from that Coma, (laughing) and all that time I thought you were in the coma.” Continually laughing.

“Yeah, yeah you told that story to literally everyone in the university. By the way, you almost killed yourself by doing CPR, (laughing) you needed that air more than I did.” She smiled, but Janet had the most amazing smile, one that would keep me warm at night, and keep me loving her for the rest of my life. Nobodies smile could compare.

(Pause)


“So where do you want to go this year? Paris, Berlin, Tokyo, or maybe Boracay beach in the Philippines?” I smiled, back, and knew that this would sound so cheesy, but I had to say it anyway.

“I don’t need to go anywhere, the world is a small place, we can go wherever whenever, yet there’s one world that’s always ever growing, but never changing. You’re my world Janet, and there’s no other place I'd rather be. I love you.” With those words finally uttered, the eeriness returned, but it was the same eeriness that was felt when God had first appeared in my room.


“Hey, look a rainbow?”

“Say what? It’s not even rain...” With a moment to rethink.

I whispered to myself...

“Ha, I see what you did there...”



The End