I blacked out for a good 10 minutes and a bright light shining in my face woke me up.
“Sorry to wake you dear. What’s your name sweetie? My name is Officer Riley. Can you tell me what happened here? We need to see if you are okay. Is any of this your blood? Are you hurt?” she said in a loud worried voice.
She seemed like a nice lady and I wanted to talk to her, but I just couldn’t. No words would come out of my mouth. Eventually I spoke and answered the detective’s questions and told them about my mom and our fight and about my dad. They felt sorry for me but it pissed me off. They should not feel sorry for me. It was my fault my mom and dad are dead. The police were feeling sorry for a murderer.
Officer Riley let me get some clothes and took me down to the police station. I had my dad’s blood all over me. News teams, reporters, and people with cameras arrived before we did. They were asking me if I killed my father, were I got the gun from, why did I kill him. Officer Riley put her hand up at the camera hid my face and said no comment. We went inside and she led me to a bathroom with a shower. She gave me shampoo and soap and told me to clean up and meet her in the conference room.
I turned the hot water on and let it hit my face. I didn’t care how scolding hot it was I wanted to burn the memories of what just happened out of my head. After about an hour in the shower I finally got out, put my clothes on and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t stand to look at myself. I didn’t understand why people felt sorry for me. Well some people thought I killed him; at this point I was on their side. Just think I wouldn’t have gotten into a fight with my mom; me, mom, and dad would all be sleeping in our warm house. When we all woke up mom would make breakfast and I would set the table. We would all be a happy family. Now my daddy is gone my mom is gone, and me…I’m just hanging on.
I walked down the hall; it was scary to be in a police station. Everything was white, and really bright. I didn’t like it at all. I finally made it to the conference room and saw Miss Riley sitting in a chair talking to my grandparents. I put my hand on the door handle then I moved it really fast. I didn’t want to go in there. I didn’t want them to think I killed them. I started to walk away then my grandma said Abriana! Then she started to cry. I opened the door, Without thinking I ran over to them and started to cry. All I could say was they are gone. I killed them. They calmed me down and said nothing is my fault.
I answered more of Miss Riley’s questions. I got in the conference room at 2:30 a.m. and now it was 4:00 a.m. All I want to do is go back home and sleep, crawl in my bed and never come out. I want my mom and dad back. That’s all I want! Miss riley gave me bad news, she said I could go home, to get my clothes, then I had to go to my grandparents’ house and live. I can’t do that. What are they going to do with all of our stuff in our house? What are they going to do with our house? Why did god have to do this to me? Why did he take both of them? What did I do to god to make him hate me so much? I had so many questions but no one will answer them.

I went to my grandparents’ house and went straight to sleep, but it wasn’t good sleep. I had nightmares and kept waking up. Finally I heard my grandma awake and went down stairs and smelled my favorite breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, grits, and bacon. I sat down without saying anything. I stared at the table, I kept thinking about everything. She startled me by putting a plate of food in front of me. “Do you want orange juice Bri?” she pointed to the juice. “Yeah.” I said as I shoved a fork full of food in my mouth. “Your grandpa and uncle tommy couldn’t make it to breakfast this morning they had something’s to take care of. You know we love you very much.” She held my hand and she looked at me with that worried look on her face. When she said they had something’s to do I knew she meant they had to rearrange my mom and dad’s funeral. She always had to sugar coat everything for me. She acted as if I was some stupid child. Well I am not! I know my mother and father are not coming back. I know that god has taken them. I know that in the next 5 days they will be in the ground where they don’t belong! I was thinking about all of this in my head, I got pissed and threw the orange juice across the table and threw my fork and plate on to the ground and went upstairs. I slammed my door and sat on my bed for awhile. Then I got in my closet and put on clothes tied my sneakers, ran down the stairs and left on my bike. I didn’t know were to go. So I went to my house. I opened the door. All I smelled was death. People always told me death had a smell. I never believed them until now. I went into my parents room and started cleaning the blood off the walls. After I did that I went down into the basement and got boxes from our move that we kept. I went back to their room and started packing up my mom and dad’s clothes, and all their jewelry. I took pictures off the wall. And threw the bloody blankets away. Everything was bare. The walls had nothing on them, it was as empty as my heart. I walked down the hall with a box and took down all the pictures and smiled at each one. We where a happy family. Always together, always smiling, and always laughing. Finally I made it to my room. It was such a mess. My mom would always tell me to clean it but I never listened. Now I cleaned and cleaned. Scrubbed, dusted, vaccumed, threw stuff away and just made it look good for my mom. I knew she was watching me right now. She would have been so proud of me. I needed a break so I turned on the t.v. I cannot believe what I saw, it was me on tv from last night. I can imagine all of the people that are watching this right now, people are going to be scared of me. I turned the tv off and sat there. The door bell rang so I ran down the stairs and opened the door. Before I could say anything the next door neighbor comes in and give me a hug and whispers that she is sorry. “Bri I am so sorry. The worst things happen to the best of people. Everything will get better. Your going to get better, and this will all blow over.” She said. It’s not like my f*ing cat died! BOTH of my parents are gone. I am 16 with no parents. This is not going to get better, and it sure as hell won’t “Blow over”. What is wrong with her? I didn’t say anything back to her I pushed her out the door and slammed it shut, the finished cleaning. I brought a box into the living room and started putting pictures in it. I stopped at one picture and looked at it for a while, I remember my dad telling me about this picture. It was of him and my mom when they were in high school. He told me that whenever they were in high school, him and her were like peanut butter and jelly. They were always together, never apart. Whenever he talked about my mom he would smile so big and get red. He described how pretty she was. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, white straight teeth. He said everybody wanted my mom. She would always get so much attention. But he knew at the end of the day he was the one that got to hold her and kiss her. He told me they started dating in 9th grade and never broke up. They were invincible, he would go on with his story saying that they never got into fights, it’s like they were perfect for each other. At one point in his story he said, if anything ever happened to my mom and he would have to die for her…he would. As soon as I remembered that part I threw the picture in the box and lay on the couch and started to cry again. I just didn’t want to be sad anymore, I wish this was all a dream. I was going to wake up any minute…I waited and nothing happened. So I got off the couch, walked out the door, and started riding my bike back to my grandparent’s. “Hey grandma. Sorry for this morning. I just got mad. I just want to go back home and stay there. I wish this was all a dream. Please don’t be mad at me I love you so much.” I said as I shut the door behind me. “Bri it’s okay, I would have been upset too. Do you want a snack?” She smiled at me. “Yes ma’am if you don’t mind making me a grilled cheese and get me some grapes?” “Well I don’t mind at all. Did you see the news? Your all over news 5, news 7, and news 15. It’s so awful putting a 16 year old all over the news like that. And I cannot believe all the damn questions they were asking you. It’s like they think you murdered your…” She looked at me and stopped mid-sentence “They think I murdered him, you can say it grandma. It’s okay. It’s not going to bother me. People think I’m a murderer, sometimes so do i.” I said under my breath. She yelled “Damn it Abriana! You didn’t do anything how many times am I going to have to tell you!? You didn’t kill your parents! It was not your fault! Shut up and get the hell out of my kitchen I don’t want to see your face right now!!” I looked at her like she was a monster. She has never yelled or cussed at me like that. But I can’t help the way I feel, how could she get mad because I think I’m a murderer? I ran upstairs and slammed my door. I threw my body onto my bed and looked at the ceiling. My grandma knocked on the door and came in. I’m kind of scared to talk to her now. “You know you have to go back to school tomorrow right? Are you scared to go back?” She looked at me and gave me the worried look EVERYONE has been giving me here lately. The truth was, I was more than scared to go back to school, I was teffifyed. What if my friends and teachers watched the news today? They are all going to think I’m a killer. No one is going to want to be my friend. I’m going to have to eat lunch by myself, people are going to be scared of me, I’m going to get made fun of! I’m so screwed. As I was getting ready to say something I heard the front door open. I raced down stairs to find my uncle and my grandpa in the kitchen eating MY grilled cheese. “Hey grandpa. What did you do today?” I said as I gave him a hug “Well grandma should have told you me and your uncle was planning your mom and dad’s funereal. It is in 3 days. And me and uncle tommy were talking earlier and was wondering if you would write a speech about your mom and dad?” He said as he oppend the cabnit to get some nuetella. “Or course I will grandpa. But what if I cry? I don’t want to cry in front of all our family. I can’t do it.” I whinned. “Bri do you see what time it is? It’s ten o’clock. You have school in the morning. Get your but in bed!” Uncle tommy gave me that if you don’t do it your going to get your ass beat sorta look. So I took some grapes gave my grandpa, grandma, and uncle a hug and a kiss and said goodnight went upstairs got ready for bed, and this time I did something a little different before I went to sleep…I prayed to god, and to my mom and dad. Then I layed on my bed and passed out.